


Bad Ramen

by Julibun



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Pining, Smut, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-04 08:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 120,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13360050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julibun/pseuds/Julibun
Summary: One late night shift's ending turned to be the beginning of a new life.The only question left for Kyungsoo to answer is; Whose?A story of survival through the daily lives of those who were let down by the cruel world around them.-Trigger warnings:Death, suicide, mention/description of suicide, mention/description of abuse, hinted harassment, mental illness.-It is long and deals with sensitive subjects. Contains sexual scenes.This story took me a very long time to finish, feel free to read my notes to understand why.Please let me know what you think! ♡





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm finally back.
> 
> This story was already forming into existence back when I was still posting 'Stairs of Dust' but due to its sensitive content I wanted to plan it properly.  
> Right when I finished writing the first chapter you're about to read, the news about the devastating tragedy broke out, and for a long time I couldn't help but feel partially responsible due to the chapter's content.  
> Writing this story provided a way for me to recover, a reason to raise back to my feet and continue pushing on.
> 
> I hope that it will provide even just a little bit of comfort for those like me who have struggled with the incident, with the process of moving on and with the feeling of wanting to go through the same route.
> 
> There is always tomorrow to look forward to.
> 
> Rest in peace, Kim Jonghyun. You've done well.

 

  
Finally, it's time to go home.

Kyungsoo is fucking tired. Dead-tired. He's exhausted.

Whole day shifts are literally the worst thing in the world, especially when his fellow best worker couldn't make it to work today. Which meant Kyungsoo, as second best, had to take over the role.

During daytime the job is easy. All he has to do is walk around with his tray, ask for orders, bring the orders to the customers and clean after they leave. It's even fun, because more often than not he manages to charm the visitors enough to receive a generous tip for his service.

But nighttime is a whole other story. At the moment it gets dark enough for the streetlights to shine up, the bar fills with all sorts of people he'd very much rather not see in his life. Late shifts are bad. He doesn't just take orders, he takes them from drunk careless people who have little to no supervision over their own actions and words.

Normally, it's Jongin's specialty to handle the night shifts. The dude wakes up late, comes right on time, controls the entire bar like some dark magic with simple winks, smiles and hip shakes, and then leaves and repeat.

But today Jongin couldn't make it due to an urgent family matter, something about his niece needing a babysitter. Yes, very urgent, such an emergency. But it's fine. Kyungsoo respects that. He can't relate, but he can understand the drive behind Jongin wanting to spend time with his family.

Either way, Jongin missing from their usual workers' ensemble during the late shift was a pain. It's true that Kyungsoo and Sehun are both very high up there with their success at maintaining the bar at a decent state, but neither of them enjoy it as much as Jongin. The regular customers can just tell that they're trying way too hard compared to Jongin's natural attitude about serving them.

Kyungsoo has been working here for long enough to somehow survive and succeed in taking over Jongin's active role of being 'the life of the party' once every few minutes during the late shift, but he will never truly enjoy it like Jongin does. He's used to the music, to the colors, to the way bodies nudge and bump against each other in the center dancing area. He's used to the way drunk customers shouting from the booths and tables located all around.

It was difficult to fulfill so after one time he failed, he asked for Jongin's guidance about ruling the dance floor. Which resulted in the two of them practicing some dance moves in the middle of the bar during the day, in front of all the amused customers. Sehun often joined them too, it looked like so much fun to take part in because of Kyungsoo's faces. Or that's the reason he gave at least.

By now Kyungsoo knows where to slide his hip, how to turn his knees and when to raise up his head just enough to expose his jawline when the lights are bright enough for the dancing guests to see. And it works. He manages to keep the spirits up, and other things too, probably. Judging from the way some of the guys keep following him with their gross drunken eyes.

So to conclude, nighttime shift is bad on its own, but even worse after working an entire daytime shift already. So just for the record, Kyungsoo has the right to be this damn tired.

It's nearly two in the morning. Honestly if it was up to Kyungsoo he would have just stayed and slept on the couch in their little back room, but Minseok wouldn't allow that. He insisted Kyungsoo should go home and sleep properly since tomorrow he will have to handle yet another late shift.

Kyungsoo really appreciates it when Minseok is being this kind and caring. Well, he always has been treating everyone with respect and honesty. It just happens to be that Minseok's honesty comes hand in hand with his lovely personality.

He's the best bartender and shift manager in the world. Who's sadly stuck in this shitty bar in the corner of one of the little alleys coming from the main street.

So kind that he agreed to lock the place up instead of Kyungsoo once the last intoxicated customer left. Well, he didn't need to dance for half of the night shift between all of the stinky people, so it just makes sense this task would be easier for him to complete compared to Kyungsoo's drained body.

Honestly, walking home would have been the most refreshing feeling, but as if the world has some sort of plan to squeeze every bit of positive energy out of Kyungsoo's soul today, the skies are thick with clouds and there's heavy rain slamming against the pavement.

Kyungsoo praised whatever all powerful being and thanked himself for remembering to bring his umbrella to work this morning. He knew there might be a chance it'd rain. He didn't expect it to happen at two in the morning right when he finished his double shift, but at least he was ready.

Actually, the cold air is a little stingy. Maybe because he doesn't have the best sweater to keep him in a decent temperature. So he brought an umbrella, but not a proper warm jacket. Great. Kyungsoo really thought today through. Not.

It's fine, it's alright. It takes barely fifteen minutes of walk to get back to his little studio apartment in the large complex located a few blocks away. As long as he avoids stepping into any puddles with his sneakers he'll reach home unscathed.

 

  
Luckily, the path back home is taking him through mostly side streets and small passage ways. He even passes behind some buildings on a thin gravel path in a few spots. He only just started walking, and yet he already imagined himself at the end of the walk, entering the apartment complex' main door, shaking the water drops off of his umbrella, and going up the stairs towards his place's door and---

Huh? What is that noise?

Something makes a noise strong enough for him to hear beyond the loud pour of rain all around him and on top of his large black umbrella.

Kyungsoo carefully raised the front part of the umbrella a little to have a larger field of view around him. From that angle, a few drops of rain managed to fall in his direction onto the bottom part of his jeans. Ah, no trouble. It's just a few marks that'll dry in no time.

He turned his head around, squinting his eyes to try and sharpen his vision, until he spotted an odd dark shape located right against the wall of a closed sort of little corner market.

It could be a little dangerous, since this is a pretty isolated back alley after all. The closest actual safe place is a whole block away where a seven eleven is still open. Kyungsoo knows it's open because the ugly white lights from the interior of the store shine outwards through the rain and reach all the way to this little corner.

But on the other hand, what he sees could be just a pile of plastic trash bags, he can't really see clearly. Plus, what he hears could be an angry street cat trying to deal with the wetness. Best case scenario - it's nothing. Worst case scenario - he runs the fuck away from whatever it is.

Warily, Kyungsoo took a step towards the black weirdly shaped object, and another noise was heard. It sounded... Like a person. Not just a person, a very choked up person.

Kyungsoo's eyebrows tied together with worry and he took a few more steps forward, finally being able to determine what is the source of the noise. Finally being able to see what creates this weird black shape against the wall on the ground.

A man curled against the wall, sitting on the cold ground and sobbing. Sobbing loud, with so much pain. He's soaked in rain, shaking, his face and body hidden in a big black hoodie that seems to belong to an expensive brand.

Upon further inspection Kyungsoo finds that the man's hands are holding his own head down, while his exposed knees through the torn holes in his jeans are up. Compared to Kyungsoo, he is definitely larger in size, and yet he looks so small. Without seeing even a glimpse of his face Kyungsoo can feel his heart clench from the amount of sadness he is radiating.

At first glance Kyungsoo was sure he was homeless, but knowing that his jeans are intentionally distressed and his hoodie comes from a high marketed brand contradicts that worry, and Kyungsoo allowed his heart to take over and come out to the man.

Kyungsoo is dying to get home and sleep. He waited all freaking day for the hot shower and warm bed, but he can't just... leave now. He simply cant. His conscience wouldn't allow him to. This man sitting there drenched is aching so terribly and Kyungsoo really won't be able to live peacefully knowing he hasn't even attempted to offer any help.

So without saying a word, he kneeled down and placed his big precious umbrella above the man. Wincing once the heavy rain drops fall and hit on top of his head, face, glasses, shoulders, back and every piece of his body from all directions. Including his trusty backpack.

It's fine, it's okay. Kyungsoo will survive this, what's more important is that mysterious man's well being right now.

After standing back up he gave the man another glance, contemplating with himself what more can be done. Oh, right. Easy!

Kyungsoo grabbed tightly onto the handles of his backpack and began running away from the now umbrella-sheltered sobbing man who didn't seem to really react to Kyungsoo's good intentions and new coverage from the rain.

In mere minute he made it into the opened seven eleven. Getting almost frustrated glares from the tired looking cashier who would have the burden of wiping all of the wetness he's dripping in a trail behind him in the store when he'll be leaving.

Unwavered, Kyungsoo went straight towards the instant ramen section of the store. Grabbing the first plastic cup of noodles he saw was on sale, before heading to the hot drinks and water dispenser by the entrance. With slightly shaking hands from the coldness of his own wet state, he already opened the box and began filling it with boiling water. Allowing the machine to measure the correct amount while paying for the noodles.

He covered the lid of the noodles with his wallet, before sliding a few coins into the machine and pushing a few buttons. Ordering a packed bottle of special herbal warm tea that drops down to the dispenser at the bottom.

Now with his heated purchases, Kyungsoo rushed back outside. Hiding the cup of noodles and bottle of tea under the cover of his already soaking sweater while walking quickly towards the location he found the man sitting at.

 

  
Phew, the man is still there.

Under the umbrella, since he hasn't moved even a little.

Breathing a little heavily from the rush, Kyungsoo kneeled down once again and carefully placed the bottle and cup of noodles right in front of the man's hidden face's direction, on the wet yet sheltered spot beneath the big umbrella's reach.

One thing is already good. The man doesn't sob anymore. He just sits there silently, still concealed by the hood of his branded clothing item. Okay, well, it's something.

Kyungsoo sighed out, trying to slow down his quicker breathing pace, before plopping down on the wet pavement in front of the man. Sitting under the pouring heavy rain. By now it doesn't even matter if his underwear are wet either, because he's entirely soaked already. He doesn't care.

A few more moments of slow breaths later Kyungsoo took his backpack off and hugged it against his chest in his lap, leaning slightly forward in an attempt to shield it even a little bit from the rain. It's more important to keep the inside of his bag dry because it contains Kyungsoo's wallet and phone.

Even though he really didn't plan on getting drenched in the rain today after being drenched in sweat from dancing around at work, it's alright. It's okay because these are just clothes, and Kyungsoo would like to give himself the benefit of being healthy enough to not get sick from this unexpected exposure to the cold rain.

"Hey, I am sorry. I don't know what you've been through that made you cry this hard... But I had a really long shitty day, and I don't want to see anyone else suffering. Wanna talk about it?"

Silence.

Well, except for the rain getting weaker and stronger periodically in a pattern Kyungsoo doesn't seem to figure out. Who is he to try and understand the reason behind the density of the rain?

The man didn't move and didn't utter a sound, but Kyungsoo still managed to hear his shaky breathing process through the rain. The alley on both sides is vacant, not a single car even drives on the road nearby that connects where the seven eleven is located.

Kyungsoo continued to watch him, allowing water drops to fall down from the fringes of his hair down onto the ground. He can see the hot steam emitting from the dry tea bottle and cup of noodles he placed under the umbrella right in front of the man.

"Listen, please eat the noodles, they'll get cold... Or at least drink a little. I've been here for what, ten minutes? And I'm already freezing. Must be worse for you."

Kyungsoo spoke again, pushing the items closer to the man so it'll be even easier for him to reach. He then hugged around his own shoulders in a lame attempt to contain some warmth, but his clothes are soaked and his hair is dripping, sticking to his head, glasses and face in a way that must be very unattractive.

A small shiver resulting in a small wince keeps hitting him every time he feels a wet drop slide down his neck or jaw. That while putting aside the still constant pour slamming him from above.

"It's fine. I got time. No morning shift tomorrow so I'll just stay here and wait until you're done."

He continued before sighing and staring away from the man at the view of the main street from their current cornered spot. Silently he watched how a single person walked by under an umbrella, wearing a proper trenchcoat. And a short while later, how two cars finally passed by on the road one after another, creating a fuzzy watery noise when the wheels splashed water behind them.

Then all of a sudden he heard the sound of a bottle cap opening, and immediately turned his head to the man. Seeing him slowly raise the opened bottle to his lips, and then raise his head up to drink it all up almost in a single gulp.

With a subtle click of his tongue Kyungsoo felt a little bit of regret giving his umbrella to the man, just because now his kindness played against him and he wasn't able to see even the slightest of clues about the man's appearance.

But either way, he was glad. He isn't crying anymore and actually listening to Kyungsoo and drinking up.

It was even better a moment later when after twisting the cap back to seal the empty bottle, the man grabbed the warm noodles cup and started eating with the shorter plastic chopsticks that were given to Kyungsoo by the probably angry seven eleven clerk.

He didn't just eat it, he gorged on it as if it was the first thing he had eaten in years. Almost like he's holding onto his dear life. Just as quickly as the tea, the noodles were over in a few mouthfuls of hungry chews. The man then gulped on the leftover soup in the cup and smacked it down onto the pavement with an audible sigh of relief.

 

  
Kyungsoo smiled.

A very small smile, just to show this troubled man that he's glad he drank and ate it all. Because he really was. Being in such a devastating state which causes a person to sob as desperately as he did must be hell on earth. And while the mind would insist on avoiding anything that can be considered pleasant, like eating, the body still needs to replenish its energy somehow.

The smile remained while Kyungsoo was now able to see a little bit of the man's lower half of the face. Pretty pink lips, probably slightly swollen from crying, and the tip of a reddened nose were easy for him to spot through his wet glasses.

Without much thought, Kyungsoo shifted a little in his sitting spot under the rain, and attempted to pull out a pack of tissues he always carried at the back pocket of his jeans. That's until he slid his fingers into the pocket and found it to be soaking wet and quite disgusting to touch.

A grimace appeared on his face right away, and he pulled his fingers out looking down at them just to make sure no wet tissue fibers stuck to them. Technically, the packet is supposed to be closed inside a little plastic container, but from the feel of it, this pocket will need some thorough cleaning when he makes it back home.

He sighed lightly, as if to announce to himself that his tissues are doomed and it'd be pointless to dig further into the wetness and check if anything can be retrieved.

"Sorry, I would have given you my tissues but they're soaked up as well. Do you feel a little better?"

Kyungsoo looks back at the man intently, hoping to see a smile, or something nice, anything would be better than the half frown half resting part of the face he's able to see under the hood and umbrella.

And yet all he sees are the swollen lips bite onto themselves and begin to tremble downwards.

"Oh-- Oh no, no no-- Please don't cry again-- Shit... Uh--..."

He began panicking, flailing his arms which are still partially still holding around his bag and wondering what he can possibly do.

There isn't much more at this point. Well, technically he can still get up and rush back to the store, get some new dry tissues and give them to the sad man in front of him. Should he really do it? Getting up would be a pain, and the cashier would probably curse him for entering even more drenched than before.

Nothing in his bag can be used either. No physical items will ever be able to heal such a level of sadness that Kyungsoo feels from that man. Really, the best he can offer is himself. Which is probably disappointing, but oh well.

Kyungsoo sighed a little heavy with the dread of feeling like there is nothing he can really do for this person, preparing himself for a possible breach of his own emotions.

"...ank you."

"...Huh?"

"Thank you."

The man said. He finally spoke. His voice was hoarse, rough and pained from sobbing. He sounded a little funny because his nose is stuffed too, but Kyungsoo could tell that his voice is actually quite deep in nature. A pretty pleasant surprise for his ears against the sound of the heavy rain.

He looked at him again, with still slightly widened eyes from the surprise. It was different now. The guy raised his head a little higher, exposing almost his entire face from under the hood.

His hair was still wet, sticking tightly to his forehead in a way that curls within itself, which gave Kyungsoo the clue that this man's hair is probably permed. Under the hairline sparked two large eyes. Puffy, swollen and red from crying. Still wet from the tears as well.

From examining the man's post-crying state he didn't even realize he was being looked at himself.

It startled him when he realized the man locked his gaze with him. This guy looked so sincere, so heartbroken and exhausted, but at the same time so hot and handsome.

Okay, no, Kyungsoo, stop it.

He scolded himself internally, convincing himself he will deal with that later, because the man has finally given him this subtle premission and approval into his personal, well, mental zone?

Kyungsoo will handle his hots for dudes on another time, when there isn't anything more important than how good-looking this guy is.

"You are very, very welcome. But please stop crying, really, I feel like I'm going to cry too."

His smile softened at the man. He hoped that by tilting his head lightly, almost like a puppy, it'll convince him to calm down even more than he already had.

The person's eyes followed him, then lowered to the ground in thought. Kyungsoo could see the inner corners of his eyebrows caving in slightly, before he looked up at Kyungsoo again with the same sincerity.

"Alright."

Voice even deeper than before, and still just as hoarse. Kyungsoo was definitely relieved, and yet he felt like there is more he should do. Maybe get another bottle of warm tea for the man? His throat will definitely not be in good shape after crying like this under the pouring cold rain.

Actually, maybe he should get something warm for himself as well, since Kyungsoo is still sitting on the cold hard ground, continuously drenched in never ending rain.

No, it doesn't matter right now. This man has been out here for way longer than Kyungsoo, probably. He will be able to survive this a little longer. It seems like so far his actions weren't in vain, so sooner or later the man would be back in safety, right?

"Okay... Good... Thank you, my heart really wouldn't handle another sobbing session. I might not be a lot, but I'll do my best. What's up? Wanna talk a little?"

Kyungsoo then offered, rubbing his blurry wet glasses a little because honestly it's easier to not use them at all right now instead of seeing everything separated into millions of dimensions because of the tiny drops coating the lens. But he does want to see the man's face and make proper eye contact with him if it's needed.

And the silence returned.

Kyungsoo just watches the man quietly. He's not in a rush. Except for the need for his long awaited warm shower and some dry pajamas, he really doesn't have to hurry for anything. He chose to stop in his steps and assist this person. It'd be too cruel to bail out now. He doesn't mind if it'll take a while longer.

The guy then slightly straightened his back and leaned against the wall again. Kyungsoo saw how his eyes are turned upwards to the edges of the umbrella that are dripping down on the pavement from the amount of rain falling down on the world. He turned to look at Kyungsoo again, and he wasn't sure, but it seems like the man finally realized just how soaked Kyungsoo really was.

So to Kyungsoo's surprise, he moved a little bit to the side, and lowered his knees to sit cross legged, in a way that leaves enough space beside him for another person to join him under the little dry shelter of Kyungsoo's umbrella.

Is that... An invitation?

 

  
It took less than a second of hesitation for Kyungsoo to decide to take the offer for what it's worth. He is very surprised, but he definitely wouldn't decline it. Any chance for him to dry out even a little bit is very welcome after sitting under the raw cold rain drops for who knows how long.

He lost track of time, and began wondering if his phone and wallet survived inside his bag. It'd be way too much trouble to purchase a whole new cellphone anytime soon.

Standing up after sitting down in the puddle of gathered rain felt awful. To say the least. It was gross. He felt the way his underwear stuck to his skin, and the jeans became heavy from the added weight of the water soaked in them. Let alone his loved green hoodie that draped down on him like some dark veil.

He felt gross, but bit onto his lip and crawled under the umbrella. Sitting himself down next to the mysterious man with a little squelching sound that came from the way his wet clothes, specifically the wet tissue package, squeezed against the nearly dry ground.

Kyungsoo scrunched his nose in disgust from the distasteful noise, but sighed with relief to finally be able to readjust to the dryness.

Sitting under the rain wasn't exactly pleasant, but the constant almost massage the rain drops gave his body, made him forget about the temperature of it. Now, sitting and getting hit by the constant whiffs of cold air, he was freezing. Shakingly he tried to hug around himself and his bag to keep whatever warmth his body emits within himself.

Though through the coldness, he carefully wiped his glasses clean and glanced up at the man close beside him, who seems to be just looking forward at nothing in particular. Damns his profile looks good. Even if it has nothing to do with the current situation, it's just impossible for Kyungsoo to ignore.

It was silent for a while longer, before he saw a puff of heat leave the stranger's mouth.

"My best friend died today."

...What?

Kyungsoo fell into a state of shock. Sitting and shivering by the man's side. He noted how deeply filled with pain his voice came out as now. But he seems to be holding the tears so far, which is good---

"He killed himself."

Oh shit.

Oh wow.

This is a lot heavier than Kyungsoo was prepared to hear. Suddenly his previous sobs don't seem to be too much. Kyungsoo was rendered speechless.

He can do it though. He submitted himself into this situation knowingly. He assumed there would have been a pretty valid reason for a person to sit outside late at night and sob so desperately. Whoever this man may be, he's got Kyungsoo's whole heart aching for him. All Kyungsoo could do was sit quietly and stare at his wet shoes.

"He overdosed on sleeping pills... Lied in the bathtub and drowned in his sleep. His boyfrien--- No. His fiance is in the hospital because of a system failure. He was the one who found him."

Silence again.

The rain was kind of peaceful for a little while, but a moment later a sudden really strong pour began knocking on the plastic matter on the top of the umbrella above them. Creating a loud noise along with the general hissing of the moment in which the drops hit the ground itself.

Kyungsoo didn't expect to hear the word boyfriend, he was only very slightly surprised from that. So this stranger's best friend who is---was a guy, has--- had, a male fiance. That's good news for Kyungsoo already, knowing that this man is accepting of such relationships.

Stop. Kyungsoo reminded himself that now is not the time for his own stupidity and self induldging thoughts. This situation is terrifying and Kyungsoo's whole being is hurting for this man.

"I miss him. I even spoke to him this morning. He said something about an issue with his family in China. Then he texted me he's tired... Saying he'll be taking a nap. And now he's gone."

The hooded man's voice was shaking. He bit extremely hard onto his own lower lip, strong enough to crack through the skin and make it bleed. Even in the darkness they're surrounded with under the umbrella, Kyungsoo was able to spot a few shiny dots slowly gathering on the man's lower lids. A single tear began sliding down his cheek as well.

Kyungsoo just looked at him with pained silence. He felt so stupid and small. Useless and helpless, while this guy is suffering so much.

"We were supposed to go and play basketball together tonight--- Right now---"

His voice cracked, and the man fell into sobbing again. Covering his face with his large hands and shaking with anguish that Kyungsoo has never seen in his life. To top that, through the sobs he made the most miserable sounding, heart breaking noises Kyungsoo didn't know anybody could create in real life out of true feelings and not just while fake acting in movies.

 

  
Oh god.

His stomach twisted with sadness. Tears began gathering in Kyungsoo's own eyes out of sympathy for the man.

Kyungsoo then took the initiative and shifted in his spot, moving closer to the stranger and wrapping his arms over his head. He pulled him close and hugged him tightly while stroking his head gently above the damp hood. Sniffling lightly by himself just from imagining just how terribly devastating it is for him.

The man was so deep in his own mourning that there wasn't even a reaction to Kyungsoo's actions. He simply allowed himself to fall into Kyungsoo's hold, sobbing with agonizing pain against Kyungsoo's own wet sweater.

Going even further than this, he ended up tugging to the back of Kyungsoo's clothes extremely tightly. It wasn't a hug, it was a grip so grave Kyungsoo could sense how this man holds onto him like he's the last string connecting him with the world.

With another sad sniffle, Kyungsoo shut his eyes, allowing his own gathered tears to fall down as he wrapped the man's head closer, hearing how he cried quietly for a while longer against him. Everything was just so cold and cruel, but having this stranger grasp onto him with such despair created a heat so strong it burned his body at the spots in which they were connected through.

It lasted for quite a while before the man managed to calm down a little. Just enough to be able to breathe against Kyungsoo's body without any more pained shakes. He still held tightly around Kyungsoo's wet sweater.

"I'm sorr---"

"Don't."

Kyungsoo shut him up strictly.

Whoever this person is, definitely has a good heart if he actually tried to apologize for suffering. Kyungsoo doesn't know much about feelings. Not how to deal with them and not how to express them.

One thing he does know, is that feelings are always valid, important, and should never be apologized for. Only actions and words are apology worthy.

The man in Kyungsoo's arms finally raised his head a little, trying to look up at him. Pretty embarrassing, not because of their position, but because Kyungsoo's eyes are already wet and puffy from silently crying himself. Out of pure emotions that suddenly filled him from learning how much pain this stranger has to deal with.

Clearly, the man was surprised, which made Kyungsoo sniffle once again and gently let go of him in order to rub his own eyes and nose back into decency.

Out of what looked to Kyungsoo like respect, the much wider than him guy pulled away and distanced himself from Kyungsoo's body. Sitting up straight with his back against the wall and looking forward at the slowly decreasing intensity of the rain.

Yeah. This makes sense. Not all dudes enjoy being hugged by other dudes. Even if Kyungsoo subtly felt very fulfilled holding around this man especially because of the amazing heat that was produced between the two of them.

Pushing these thoughts aside, Kyungsoo took advantage of the little bit of warmth left against his chest, and hugged around himself again instead. Whatever temperature he had gained from their contact will have to suffice him until the end of their interaction for the day, or rather, night.

It's freezing and dark and Kyungsoo is really not up to spend another minute outside at all. Chances are his muscles will get sore before he reaches tomorrow's shift, and that's going to suck. He would do it if he has to. For this man he would, but he really prefered it if they could transfer their exchange of judgement-free silences and bits of conversation somewhere warmer.

While lost in his own little world of thoughts, Kyungsoo didn't even realize how the stranger's big palm raised up to his face. When he turned to look at the man they fell into the trap of eye contact. It was oddly intimate, feeling this guy's thumb rub over his cheek to wipe what seems to be a leftover tear away.

His hand stayed there for a little bit longer than necessary, it was warm. Welcoming almost. Kyungsoo had to fight his body's temptation to gather more heat. It was difficult to hold back from leaning into the touch.

Let's be realistic here. Kyungsoo must look hideous. He can feel that his glasses are slightly tilted, smeared with a lazy wipe and little marks of raindrops that began drying on top of the lens. His hair is sticking to his head like a swimming cap. Combine that with his red swollen eyes, nose, and lips from joining the man's tear fest and he is a disaster.

He didn't have any particular internal reaction to the unexpected lock of their eyes. His heart didn't beat any faster, no blood rushed up to his cheeks or ears, it was almost natural.

They must look pretty hilarious from the side. Sitting down drenched in water even though they are curled under an umbrella, empty containers of tea and noodles in front of them, just silently staring at each other.

"You said no morning shift tomorrow."

The man spoke with remained of teary wetness in his voice.

"Y-Yeah...?"

"Come to my place."

What went on with Kyungsoo's right mind is a mystery. Because even though on any normal day he would have not only declined, but also kept away from whoever it is that invited him, right now his entire being had already accepted the offer before he could utter a word.

Still quiet, the rain drops falling on top of the umbrella are slowing down and falling in an uneven pattern. Is this the sign of a little rain break?

He kept looking at the man's reddened nose, plump lips and dark circles under the eyes, and now actively decided to sign his agreement to their new set course of actions. With a completely emptied mind he nodded. Slightly surprising the other from the lack of hesitation. It doesn't even matter if the surprise was positive or negative at this point.

A moment later the stranger easily stood up with the umbrella, and Kyungsoo realized just how incredibly tall and wide he is compared to Kyungsoo's own body. Compared to his initial thought of what might be this man's dimensions while being hurled on the ground when he first saw him.

It came as quite a shock, which left Kyungsoo staring at the guy when he leaned down and picked the empty tea bottle and plastic noodle cup. He shoved them into the front pocket of his hoodie, which created a weirdly shaped bump. Well, it seems like the two of them share the same thoughts about the state of their clothes at least. If they're already soaking wet, might as well just use it to the max.

A hand that previous covered the man's face when he cried was being offered for Kyungsoo to use. Yet again without any hesitation, Kyungsoo placed his own significantly smaller palm in the man's hand and pulled himself to stand.

His knees wobbled around a little when he straightened his legs. His body so cold that it took some time for it to adjust into a standing position again. At least the rain is now so light that Kyungsoo is even able to see the sky peaking in between the thin clouds. Even so, the man still holds his umbrella above their heads.

 

  
They began walking then. Not saying a single word to each other in their way. It was a little strange that the man was leading Kyungsoo in the same direction of Kyungsoo's own little studio apartment, but who is he to judge? There aren't many residential places in this part of the city. So it only makes sense their houses would be fairly close.

Doubt almost begins creeping into Kyungsoo's mind before the umbrella holding man throws the plastic noodles cup to the trash and the tea bottle into the special recycling bin, and takes a turn to the left. They cross the block, and end up where a similar apartment complex to Kyungsoo's is located.

Oh. So they really do live pretty close to each other.

They head up the stairs to the third floor and in front of apartment number sixty one. Just then the man finally lowered the umbrella and shook it to get rid of the excess drops. He folded it carefully and handed it back to Kyungsoo in order to pull out the key from the pocket of his soaked jeans.

The door opened and they both stepped inside. A pretty thin hallway leads into the rest of the apartment, in order to squeeze more into less space.

Before Kyungsoo is able to have a look around, the man positioned himself behind Kyungsoo, grabbed onto him by the shoulders, and pushed him sideways into what Kyungsoo was sure is a wall, but ended up being a doorway into a small dark room.

Somehow in the pushing process the stranger managed to slide the bag away from Kyungsoo's back and allowed it to drop down on the floor by the room's entrance. He stepped in, causing Kyungsoo to take a few uncertain steps backwards.

What is going on?

Was it all just a trick to get something entirely different out of Kyungsoo?

Something in him became alert, and yet after his heart went out for the guy with so many emotions, he doesn't allow his cautious instinct to kick in just yet.

Apparently, it was better that way. Because all the man did was move the door a little bit only for the sake of turning the lights on. The small room around them was revealed the to be the toilet.

A sigh escaped Kyungsoo's lungs unintentionally, and he noticed how the man quickly stepped backwards outside of the bathroom and gave Kyungsoo the proper space again. His serious tired expression didn't falter though.

"Warm up. I'll cook you something."

His voice was deep and determined, yet his tone was calm and conserved.

"It's alright really, I'm just tired after work and---"

"Okay, so warm up, eat, and sleep."

Kyungsoo's words were cut short by the man's abrupt resolution.

He really can't stand against the man's unwavering willpower. He doesn't feel even the slightest bit of threat though, so he thinned his mouth shut and nodded instead. Honestly, this man might have come a little strong at him like this, but after meeting him in probably the most vulnerable state of his life, it kind of makes sense.

At this point he is willing to trust the man. Which is definitely odd. Kyungsoo admits to himself. Generally, he is a very easy going guy. He can handle some spontaneousness to a certain degree. Let's say if Jongin or Sehun suddenly offer him to join them in some plans, he'd gladly join them without much of a notice. But that's because he knows them, and feels safe around them.

Right now he is literally about to shower in the house of a complete stranger he found sobbing his heart out in the streets. Quite an upgrade for being as uninhibited as he is.

After a moment of slight confusion where he placed his stray of thoughts in order, he remembered why he agreed. This man lost his best friend. It's a terrifyingly large loss, and if it wasn't for Kyungsoo being there at the right time, who knows where this dude would end up?

Kyungsoo would much rather go through a pleasant experience of a shower even if it's in a stranger's house than to feel even a hint of responsbility in case he wouldn't have offered his help to this man to begin with.

It certainly did help him ease down.

So Kyungsoo turned sideways in the small bathroom and began undressing. Pulling his sweater off, his shirt, starting to unbutton his jeans. Only when he started pulling his pants down he turned to look back and found the man still standing by the door and staring at him.

"Uhm..."

It's not like Kyungsoo is particularly shy about his body. Or about exposing it. There is just a very strange and unfamiliar feeling with being watched so closely while doing so, by a total stranger nonetheless.

The man jumped as if he was woken up from some sort of daydream, or maybe a nightmare, and quickly removed himself from the room's entrance, closing the door after himself. All while avoiding any eye contact with Kyungsoo.

Clearly, this dude means no harm whatsoever. Kyungsoo can feel it. It's pretty reassuring actually. He felt somewhat secure in this little bathroom, nearly naked in a stranger's studio apartment only a block away from his own.

It's so strange. But what bad can come from including a few unexpected Yes-es in his life? Kyungsoo considers himself pretty outgoing and friendly. There's nothing burdening him or holding him back that he has to ever cancel plans or really decline any activities.

He might have a little problem actually trusting people with his whole heart. But he's willing to give this heartbroken stranger the benefit of the doubt, because so far he has been nothing but sad. And Kyungsoo cannot judge what kind of person he is from this first impression of his fragile state.

 

  
Proceeding with his undressing progress, Kyungsoo took everything off. The relief of his soaking jeans finally separating from his skin was truly satisfying.

For a little while, he examined his own reflection in the mirror above the sink. His eyes still puffy, nose still red and lips still slightly swollen from crying with the stranger who's bathroom he's occupying.

You did well. He told himself.

Helping the man calm from his heartbreaking sobs is already a big achievement. One of the best things he had ever accomplished actually. Not because this stranger fits into the very specific mold of who can be considered Kyungsoo's type, but because Kyungsoo's life in general has been so uneventful. And the fact he managed to do something right is filling him with a certain degree of pride.

Either way, he entered the little shower square behind the curtain and followed the man's order by warming up under the hot stream.

Is it creepy to use another person's body wash while using their shower? It's not like he has any other option. Technically, he thought he wouldn't use any soap at all, but after his curiousity took over him and made him sniff the bottle's lid, he couldn't help it.

This man must smell so damn good if he's using such a pleasant scented cleanser everyday.

Kyungsoo decided he will be brave, and used it himself. Whatever. If he was invited he might as well enjoy it.

It was definitely one of the weirdest experiences in his life. But there's a general good feeling of warmth in his heart from being able to assist a person dealing with such pain and misfortune. His mind kept swirling between his own self gratification from the situation compared to his desire to make sure the guy himself actually feels better.

At least the foggy state of the bathroom combined with the sound of water echoing in the little space was pleasant.

By the time Kyungsoo was done and pushed the curtain aside, he found a pile of folded clothes and a clean towel on top of the cabinet. It wasn't there before. Did the man enter when he showered and placed it there for him?

He dried himself with the fresh smelling towel and dressed up. Now wearing a giant black shirt with some band print on it, and black joggers that can be tied around his waist at any size. His heart warm again from the man's consideration. The pants were way too large, but thanks to the string it still held properly over his hips. That man really thought of everything.

When checking his now slightly-more-fresh-yet-still-exhausted-looking self in the mirror he spotted a thin cable wire hanging from two nails between two of the bathroom's walls, and there are a few clothespins attached to it.

Standing up on top of the toilet's closed lid, he stretched up to hang his own cold wet clothes from the rain. They aren't clean or anything at all, but at least they have a chance to dry until he leaves this place.

Once done, Kyungsoo opened the bathroom's door and stepped out into the little hallway. The smell of roasted garlic, vegetables and sasame, along with the sizzling noise of things cooking on a pan hit his nose and made his stomach grumble with hunger right away. He didn't exactly plan on eating anything after work, but wow, how is he supposed to resist?

Now stepping into the apartment itself, he saw a small space of a living room. His partially dry bag on the couch in front of a surprisingly large television screen. Right next to the space stood a narrow kitchen unit in which the man was standing and busying himself with the cooking process. What Kyungsoo assume is the bedroom's door stood next to the television screen.

He sat himself on the couch and allowed his eyes to explore the interior design of the place quietly. It was very plain and simple. Incredibly similar to Kyungsoo's own little studio apartment in its base, except there are a lot more posters and pictures hanging on the walls here.

Then his eyes landed on the guy standing and cooking. He isn't wearing his black hoodie anymore, instead there is an old looking apron tied around his hips. In some amazing timing the man turned around, holding a small tray in his hands, and walked over to Kyungsoo. Carefully placing the tray on the carpet in the space between the couch and the television.

"It's healthy, so you should eat."

Kyungsoo just stared at him for a bit before nodding and sliding off the couch down on the pleasantly comfortable and soft carpet. Eyes still up towards the mystery man, he saw him turn on the television on a random channel and take off his apron before throwing it towards the kitchen counter carelessly.

"I'll warm up too, so eat."

"Okay."

And so he does. Kyungsoo began eating from the unexpectedly delicious yet simple food until he got full. The portion given to him was way too large for his stomach to contain. His host must have made a portion fit for a body in his own size rather than Kyungsoo's considerably smaller figure.

He could hear the shower's low hissing noise when watching the television with his back resting against the bottom of the couch, hugging his knees calmly. He was happy he could see through his glasses clearly again, and felt at general ease.

 

  
Shortly later, the man came out of the bathroom as well. Dressed in a similar shirt to Kyungsoo's but in grey, and red joggers that definitely fit his size way better than Kyungsoo's. His hair is a wet mess that keeps dripping down onto the towel hanging on his shoulders, but it doesn't seem to bother him. It doesn't really bother Kyungsoo either.

His long stretched body then took the spot on the carpet next to Kyungsoo, and he sat down with ease before starting to eat everything that's left from the food Kyungsoo wasn't able to finish.

Makes sense, food shouldn't go to waste. Plus after spending so much energy crying for hours he must be needing a little bit of a refill for the fuel. Even if not too long ago he slurped a cup of noodles given to him. It can't be considered real food though, can it?

"Are you still cold?"

He asked later. Kyungsoo got reconnected with reality after getting lost in thought for a while there.

"Mmmh nah. It's fine."

Now looking at his face, Kyungsoo realized just how attractive he truly is. Shaped eyebrows, large eyes, nicely shaped nose and soft looking lips. His chin and jaw are neat, his neck is long as well, and Kyungsoo can practically see his adam's apple bobbing with every spoken syllable.

The only thing looking a little out of place was the man's ears. Poking out and away from his head. It was charming. It was adorable, and made his sharp overall appearance softer by some serious measures. Wow. Kyungsoo's really being lame right now for rating this guy. Well, it's not his fault that everything about him fits right into Kyungsoo's perfect image of his ideal attraction.

Kyungsoo's response about not being cold didn't seem to convince him. Because after looking at him for a bit, he stood up, took the tray away to the kitchen and entered the room behind the door only to come back with a fluffy blanket and drop it down over Kyungsoo.

"Thank you."

He sent the man a small humble smile in return, and covered himself with the blanket like a burrito while huddled on the floor against the bottom of the couch. It smells really nice. Just like the body wash in the bathroom. And it's so, so warm.

The dude is already in the kitchen again, meddling with a kettle and some cabinets before returning with two different types of mugs that look like came from different countries, containing tea.

"I got it in New York, and this one in Mexico."

He explained. Did he notice that Kyungsoo was curious?

"Travel a lot?"

"Yeah. Preparing to take over dad's business."

Kyungsoo held the apparently Mexican mug in his palms and took a sip. The temperature was just right. Getting this man to speak was pretty nice. Is it odd for Kyungsoo to enjoy hearing his voice this much? It's just so deep and luring.

"Oh really? What does he do?"

It wasn't a polite question just to keep the conversation going, he truly was interested in this man and wanted to know.

"He owns the airline."

What.

Kyungsoo's eyes widened in shock as he stared at him. This is definitely an unexpected piece of information. Why would the son of such a large rich corporation owner live a nearly hidden plain life in a tiny apartment at the very edge of town?

Well, who is he to judge. Kyungsoo doesn't really understand any of the politics involved with owning money, so not only can he not relate, he really doesn't mind. He enjoys his own simple and easy life. Living from one moment to the next without caring about big scary business like, well, a lot of money. So it makes sense others would enjoy such a lifestyle too.

"Oh. My name is Park Chanyeol."

The now not-a-stranger-anymore guy announced and offered his hand for Kyungsoo to shake politely.

Chanyeol, huh. The shock factor has receded, Kyungsoo slid his noticeably smaller palm into Chanyeol's hand and shook it warmly.

"Do Kyungsoo."

 

  
They spent the late night watching a documentary about sea turtles without talking much. But Kyungsoo felt warm and cosy in his given blanket, sitting comfortably on the soft carpet beneath the couch with Chanyeol by his side.

Chanyeol is so handsome, from the glimpses that Kyungsoo managed to catch of him, since the boy was entirely invested in the turtles showing on the TV screen. Even when mourning. Even when looking probably in one of his worst physical states ever. He was beautiful and gave off a feeling of strength.

Such a peculiar man.

Kyungsoo doesn't regret spending over an hour under the pouring cold rain at all. Not that he's trying to take credit over something that might not even occur, but who knows what this dude would have done if it wasn't for Kyungsoo showing up there and helping him?

Well, sort of helping. Did he help? Another glance at Chanyeol reveals that the answer is most likely a yes. Small yes is good enough. It's not his responsibility whatsoever and yet he feels the need to protect this man's heart from further cruelty that the world might turn against him.

At the moment the ending credits of the documentary began rolling, Chanyeol got up and went inside the bedroom, coming back a moment later with a few items in his hands. Pillows and blankets. He caught Kyungsoo's curious look and gestured with his head towards the room itself.

"Go on. Get to the bed, I'll sleep here."

Really? Is he seriously telling Kyungsoo to sleep in his own bed? Without him? His length goes beyond the couch's size. It's going to be the least comfortable sleep in his life, but he offered it anyway? For what? Kyungsoo will be fine with anything. No need to pull this sacrificial act.

Or maybe he's being sincere. But it doesn't matter, because Chanyeol is the one in need of proper rest. Kyungsoo's just a bystander who decided to get involved.

Kyungsoo's imagination came up with the image of Chanyeol possibly crying himself to sleep all alone on the couch in this little studio apartment. A tight clench in his heart just wouldn't allow such a thing to happen. Not now, not any night. Chanyeol has been a great host, allowing him to shower and huddle up in such a warm blanket, made him food and let him use the mexican mug.

The least he can do is be there until the end.

"No offense Chanyeol, but you're delusional if you think I'll be leaving you alone tonight."

He responded seriously, confidently.

Chanyeol looked at him surprised. Maybe even a little touched, because his movements to return everything he carried in his arms back to the bedroom were rushed, not slow like they were when he brought them out.

There's still a very thick layer of a depressive atmosphere around. Kyungsoo isn't going to deny it, it's only expected since Chanyeol is in a very tough emotional situation. But seeing the subtle enthusiasm about Kyungsoo's reassurance for Chanyeol to sleep in his own bed was pretty promising. There's still a little bit of hope left, even if it's such a minor subject.

With a lame self pitying grunt Kyungsoo stood up from the comfortable carpet and followed Chanyeol into the bedroom, holding the blanket he was given around himself like a second skin.

The bedroom was as simple as he imagined. A bed that looks way too small to contain a giant like Chanyeol, and a closet. Apart from the many more posters on the wall and a remote controlled toy car located in the corner of the room, it was pretty neat. Somehow, it doesn't even seem strange or out of place to see that random toy there. It somehow fits with the whole unpreditability of his host.

Without hesitation Kyungsoo sat down on the bed and took off his glasses, placing them on top of the random opened men's fashion magazine on the cabinet. He allowed himself to lie back, then slid under the blanket towards the wall the bed is attached to

Very easily he made himself comfortable, and looked up at Chanyeol who was just staring at him blankly while standing by the bed.

"What, don't recognize me without the glasses?"

"No. I... Don't know if there's enough space."

Kyungsoo snickered lightly and squeezed himself further against the wall, rolling on his side and patting the large empty space on the bed in front of him.

As tall and large as Chanyeol is, he actually is just a soft gentle giant it seems. There was no sense of discomfort or disgust from sharing the bed, but rather worry about the bed not being sufficient enough for Kyungsoo, his guest's standards.

What a big heart this guy must have. Not only about this situation, but the fact that while being in such a fragile sad state he invited Kyungsoo, a stranger, into his house and took care of him. Maybe it was some sort of theraputic process actually, but either way Kyungsoo is highly impressed.

"Didn't think you were the sissy type."

He added teasingly while looking up at Chanyeol, it seems to be a little bit of a mood lifter, because the dude's automatic reaction was an easy going defensive pout.

"Sissy your ass."

Kyungsoo laughed lightly and turned over, facing the wall now. He felt how Chanyeol slid himself into the bed right against his body. It seems the two of them are lying with their backs towards each other. It's quiet and warm and surprisingly comfortable. Kyungsoo doesn't mind any of this one bit, because it smells really nice, both the bed sheets and the bed owner, and because the heat is very pleasant.

He's too exhausted from the long day to care whether it is 'Normal' or not.

"Say, Kyungsoo. Have you ever lost someone close?"

Kyungsoo was awoken to Chanyeol's deep voice after finally being able to shut his eyes.

"No. I'm alone. Good on my own."

He heard a low hum in return.

"Family?"

"Got none to lose."

"Friends?"

"Do coworkers count? Cause the old janitor at the bar died like a year ago."

"What bar do you work at?"

"The one with the blinking neon lights about two blocks away from where we met."

Another hum echoed in the room before it went quiet again. Kyungsoo tried yet again to fall asleep, noticing a little bit of light is shining in the room from behind him through his shut eyelids. Must be just Chanyeol using his cellphone or something. That's fine, it's not bright enough to actually bother Kyungsoo's sleepy state.

Slowly he began drifting, the silence and warmth were just really comforting and pleasant. He never knew sleeping next to another person like this would be such a positive experience. He shared a bed with others before, but never for the sake of sleeping. Kyungsoo just doesn't do the whole, emotional commitment kind of thing.

Finally he was feeling his muscles loosen up, melting like butter into the soft mattress underneath his body.

Until he heard a hitched breath from behind.

Chanyeol was crying, again. Sobbing silently to himself. Kyungsoo regained his consciousness fast enough to notice there was no more cellphone light reflecting over his eyelids. His heart felt heavy and weak again. When there's hope there's pain. It's only natural. How could he expect otherwise.

With a renewed core of sadness, and now opened eyes, Kyungsoo began wondering what would be better for him to do. Should he just pretend to be asleep and allow Chanyeol to empty his pain out? Or should he actually attempt to help once again? How is he supposed to help now? It was quite a challenge to do in the first place, but now whatever help he would offer is considered borderline intimacy.

No, his decision is made. The sobs became stronger, and Kyungsoo's own pained heart is already out for this guy, he could feel his own eyes watering up again.

Wordlessly, Kyungsoo turned his body over and hugged around Chanyeol's back. Sliding his arms cautiously on the sides of Chanyeol's surprisingly firm waist and pressing himself against the man's back.

Chanyeol's body jumped, probably from the surprise, but he calmed down almost immediately. The sobbing ceased entirely, only leftover remains of sniffles and shakes took place a few more times before calming to a complete rest as well.

Before Kyungsoo was able to tell whether or not his attempt actually helped, he fell asleep in that position. Hugging around Chanyeol from behind, attached to the source of heat.

 

  
The next morning Kyungsoo opened his eyes the bed was empty. An unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room. Quite disoriented, Kyungsoo rubbed his eyes and squinted to look around, confused about where he is exactly.

Until he heard the sound of water flushing in a toilet, and remembered everything that had happened the previous night.

He is at the house of the stranger he helped in the street, Chanyeol. He slept there last night while hugging against the man's back to make him stop crying. Surprisingly, it was a pretty marvelous sleep.

After a short session of stretching and getting reconnected with his own limbs, the bedroom's door opened and Chanyeol stepped inside. Looking all frazzled himself, fluffy looking bedhair going everywhere and squinting eyes staring at Kyungsoo's own.

"Hey, morning. It's like two in the afternoon and I'm lazy so I ordered some chicken for us."

"Mmmgh... Chicken breakfast - best breakfast."

Kyungsoo half groaned half hummed in approval.

Both their voices are hoarse, tired, and deep from sleep. Kyungsoo really wouldn't mind camping in this bed for a while longer. What is it about Chanyeol's bed that makes it so appealing? Probably the soft mattress combined with the relaxing scent of soapy cleaniness. Almost like a very weak fragrance of perfume.

Kyungsoo yawned shamelessly right in standing Chanyeol's direction, then snuggled himself into the blanket on the empty bed even further. Trying to accept the fact that he's really awake.

Even though his vision is blurry due to not wearing his glasses, he could see that Chanyeol was still looking at him when sitting himself down on the ede of the bed.

"I know you just woke up and all that shit, but thanks."

His deep voice from up close caught Kyungsoo off guard. God. It sent actual tingles down Kyungsoo's spine from the unfamiliar frequency. Chanyeol ran a hand up in his own hair and turned it into even more of a mess than it was. His eyes squeezing shut from reasonable exhaustion.

"Don't mention it."

Kyungsoo's entire being felt the need to protect... Him. All of him. His messy hair, his puffy sleep filled eyes, his damn deep voice, his perfectly shaped face and his impossibly godly figure. Obviously, Kyungsoo's aware of the fact that this unfairly tall man is probably more capable of doing it better than Kyungsoo, but it doesn't change the fact that after seeing him in such a vulnerable state, he just can't help it.

"No, really. I uh... Yesterday where you found me... I was on my way to the bridge above the highway you know, I wanted to jump and end it."

Oh. This is hard to hear.

That miniature stress inside Kyungsoo's heart regarding this man's pain is definitely still there. He opened his squinty eyes a little more and stared at Chanyeol's incredible side profile in silence.

"But then you came. By the way, that brand of ramen you gave me is shit, don't buy it again."

Every sense of compassion and empathy has been drained out of Kyungsoo's system by the time Chanyeol finished his sentence. What the hell. This ungrateful prick. Kyungsoo went all the way to the shitty conveniece store with the shitty clerk that was ready to knock him flat only to be told the ramen wasn't good enough?

What a spoiled asshole. Kyungsoo's never going to help him again.

Well, not really.

While his heart started swelling from relief and almost even happiness that Chanyeol's feeling this much better to sass him out, Kyungsoo's eyebrows furrowed tight together, forming an expression of anger on his face. He then curled a little more into the blanket, only to unleash a harmless yet mischievous kick to the side of Chanyeol's hips from under the cover with a displeased grunt.

The unexpected happened. Chanyeol smiled.

He looked at Kyungsoo and smiled before snickering and turning around to stand up. It was only for a moment, but that tiny smile, even with all the sadness and pain and it contained, was the best thing Kyungsoo has seen in years.

"I'll set us tea so go brush your teeth or something. Just use your finger, I don't have extra brushes."

"Mhmmm..."

Chanyeol then left the room and Kyungsoo stayed huddled in the treasured blanket for a while longer. Soaking in the warmth, addictive scent, and comfort, until he felt awake enough to harness his glasses. In lazy steps he made it to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, folded down his dried clothes, and took them back with him to the little living room area.

His host already sits down on the carpet sipping on tea while leaning against the couch's bottom. So after placing his folded clothes up on the sofa, Kyungsoo joined him with the same actions. Sitting down on the carpet in front of the little tray with tea and some cookies, the television is set on a random sort of variety channel that doesn't seem too interesting.

"Hey,"

Kyungsoo picked up the tea mug prepared just for him and sipped when Chanyeol turned to look at him.

"Thanks for letting me stay and all. T'was like a little vacation. I don't get those often."

By often he means 'ever' but that doesn't really matter. It's not like he's heartbroken about it.

Along with saying these words, Kyungsoo raised his arm up, stroking Chanyeol's hair really gently. A small still sleepy smile holding firm behind his glasses. He didn't look particularly shocked from the gesture, rather he even leaned his head a little sideways to give Kyungsoo better access.

Why did Kyungsoo do it? It's beyond him to try and figure out. He just had to. Chanyeol just looked so small all of a sudden even if his head towers above Kyungsoo's own. He can't help it. Right now Chanyeol is the embodiment of an open wound, and Kyungsoo's naturally peace craving soul wants to patch up the pain and heal the injury.

Almost like a small dog, is how it felt to pet this guy's head. His hair was soft, still slightly curly from the perm he must have gotten a while ago, and it took Kyungsoo at least seven whole secons to pull his hand back.

"Thanks for agreeing to come and stay. The perfect guest at the perfect time I guess."

Chanyeol then spoke, thanking him in return. It was relieving. Kyungsoo's actions weren't in vain. He did okay. Finally a confirmation that he had done something right.

"I guess."

 

  
So they've watched some TV until the chicken breakfast at around three in the afternoon arrived. Then they just ate it all hungrily together, resulting in Chanyeol getting so full he ended up sprawled on the carpet lazily in front of Kyungsoo.

Who continued staring more so at Chanyeol than he did at the television screen.

"You know, even if you wouldn't follow up on your dad's airline business, you'd have a successful career."

Kyungsoo said nonchalantly, looking down at Chanyeol who averted his eyes to lock their gaze with attention.

"Really? How's that?"

Kyungsoo's eyes then ran over Chanyeol's entire lengthy body, calculating his proportions without actual numbers, combining every limb and part together into his full body figure that honestly keeps surprising him everytime he thinks of.

"Modeling contract or some shit."

Chanyeol raised his left eyebrow and blinked at Kyungsoo with obvious suspicion for a few seconds, but then he turned himself in Kyungsoo's direction on the carpet and began posing in ridiculous amusing ways with the most serious expression he could pull.

Giggles coming from Kyungsoo immediately filled the room, overpowering the television's low volume.

"Yeah. Just like that."

Maybe it's better if Chanyeol takes this as a joke. Kyungsoo needs to learn to control himself and his urges. It got him into enough obscene situations in the past, and as much as this soft hearted giant seems appealing, Kyungsoo's gotta do better than that about his self involvment with every man that looks good.

Though this is the first time Kyungsoo has found a man that looks THIS good, he knows it's way too selfish and quite frankly, disgusting of him to apply his own desires onto the dude. Neither of them owe the other anything.

In the most brutally honest sense, Kyungsoo would love to hop on Chanyeol and ride him into oblivion, if to judge by the size of his feet and 'nose', Kyungsoo could spend an eternity doing it and never get bored once.

In the more decently humane sense, Kyungsoo is gross for thinking such things about a man he met sobbing the previous night, a man who lost his best friend and yet showed him nothing but kindness and selflessness.

Kyungsoo just, doesn't work so well with the stage that's in between.

Chanyeol smiled at him lightly, the second smile he's seen him express, before turning back to the television. And the two of them sank into comfortable silence.

About an hour later, according to the TV's clock, Kyungsoo decided it'd be best to head back home and prepare for his night shift at the bar. Time passed really quickly with the two of them just lazying around and chatting about random things from time to time.

He pulled himself to stand up, stretched a little, and grabbed his folded clothes from the couch in order to change back into them in the bathroom. But before entering the room he turned to Chanyeol's direction.

"These were super comfy by the way, I call dibs for the next time I come over."

Another third smile arose on Chanyeol's face when they made eye contact from the two sides of the thin hallway, this time his smile was a little sneaky, almost like a small smirk.

"Alright. You gotta come over again then."

"That's the whole point."

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes with an exaggerated sigh to emphasize he is joking, earning not quite a smile from Chanyeol, but a certain excited shine in his eyes instead. Hope. It's definitely hope.

Chanyeol who planned to throw himself off a bridge and die last night now has something to look forward to, even if it's just Kyungsoo's next visit to his small studio apartment that doesn't even have a planned date or time to happen yet. But it's good enough. It's something to keep him going. There's really no telling how Kyungsoo managed to get this much value, but if it keeps the guy alive and safe then he's satisfied.

In the bathroom Kyungsoo changed back to his own rain smelling dry clothes that feel pretty nasty but will have to do, and returned to the living room area with Chanyeol's borrowed clothes folded. Without wasting time he grabbed onto his bag and pulled out his phone. It's been a while since he even touched his device, nothing seems to be responding, but he knows for sure it remained dry even under the pouring rain. So it has to be the battery.

"My phone's dead, give me yours."

He claimed carelessly, yet Chanyeol didn't really ask any questions. Just pulled his own cellphone out and simply handed it to Kyungsoo.

With a subtle victorious smile Kyungsoo took advantage of the situation and inserted his own number into the device. Giving the new contact the name 'Dibs on the comfy clothes' before handing it back to unsuspecting Chanyeol.

Wordlessly, the two just nodded at each other. A silent mutual agreement to stay in contact one way or another, since Chanyeol can't possibly know Kyungsoo added himself to his contacts list before even checking it. Either way, Kyungsoo waved goodbye to his new acquired hot friend and left the apartment.

 

  
Though less than a minute later, when Kyungsoo was already standing beside the staircase, he turned on his steps and hurried back to the door, knocking on apartment number sixty one.

It took several seconds, but it opened. Chanyeol was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, a suspicious nearly judgemental expression, and a toothpick in his mouth. Damn. Holy shit. Kyungsoo feels like he's about to burst.

How is anyone allowed to look this damn good while doing absolutely nothing at all. Just standing at the door in freaking pajamas.

"Back to claim your dib already?"

The unnecessarily attractive man now spoke in an unreasonable deep suggestive tone, and if Kyungsoo thought of bursting before, right now he's on the verge of explosion. Internally, that is.

Towards the outside he must look as composed as ever. He hoped he does at least.

"I forgot my umbrella."

Chanyeol then just laughed softly, stunning Kyungsoo and rooting him into the ground in awe, before reaching his hand somewhere behind the door and pulling out the umbrella all neat and proper.

A small bow and another wave later Kyungsoo reached the staircase again, looking back at Chanyeol's apartment direction only to find him still standing at the doorframe and watching him leave. Okay, a little strange, a little too exciting for Kyungsoo to handle at this moment. Chanyeol kept standing there until the moment Kyungsoo was out of his sight. Only then he heard the door close again.

The stream of thoughts that flew through Kyungsoo's head on his way back home was just too chaotic to actually follow, so he mindlessly allowed his automatic pilot bodily mechanism to take care of GPS-ing him correctly.

At the moment he got back home he threw the clothes in the laundry basket and finally attached his phone to the charger. While waiting for it to turn on he dressed up for work which he has to go to in a few minutes already, and brushed his hair and teeth properly.

His device loaded, indeed unscathed by the rain, and beeped to sign a new message has arrived.

An unknown number had sent him a picture. Must be Chanyeol then. Wow, he was quick to find Kyungsoo in his contacts, let alone eager to actually text. It surprised Kyungsoo a little, but not too much, because he was a little too happy from it to worry about being patient.

Upon opening the picture his assumption was proven true. It was a selfie of Chanyeol pouting with a raised eyebrow at the camera, while his other hand is holding---

Oh.

Oh god.

Are those Kyungsoo's underwear?

Kyungsoo quickly pulled his pants' waist a little and glanced down at his underwear. So, these are Chanyeol's. Nice. That's a realization he never thought he'd be having after knowing the man for barely even twenty four hours. He feels a little heated at the thought, but shuffles it away from his mind by saving Chanyeol's contact name.

Hmm.

'Ungrateful ramen dude'.

Sounds about right.

As the phone was raised up in front his face, Kyungsoo took a picture of himself smiling stupidly at the camera. Being quite inexperienced with that feature of his device, he sent the product before noticing just how close his face was to the lens. The picture looks pretty funny, but oh well.

With a lighter heart, Kyungsoo headed out to the bar to begin his night shift.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

 

  
It was windy, and cold. So very cold. Definitely not a day any sane human being would want to spend outside. Not a day and not even an hour, but Kyungsoo never really considered himself sane. Barely a human either, actually. Plus, he has a pretty good motive to brave through the spiky sharp breeze cutting his skin.

Last night's shift was somehow better than normal. It's been a while since Kyungsoo actually had a good day at work, well, night, but it's the same thing when it comes to his job.

Maybe it was because the amount of customers was at a depressing low thanks to the rain that hasn't given their town a break since the previous night, or maybe it was because he was just too distracted with other things to actually care about what was going on during his shift.

Chanyeol.

Chanyeol is those other distracting things.

He simply couldn't stop thinking about him. Less from a personal level but more from the obligation he had given himself from the fact that he chose to help the dude in the first place.

Of course in Kyungsoo's deep true opinion he cares about Chanyeol from his own selfish bodily materialistic reasons. The guy is a god walking amongst mortals and Kyungsoo finds him irresistable. But that's just Kyungsoo's libido speaking.

He doesn't even know Chanyeol well enough to attach to him on a spiritual level. Not yet, at least. He knows that the giant is sad, and gentle. That's about it. So more than Kyungsoo's shameless gratification needs, he kept thinking about Chanyeol's well being.

It was the first time in Kyungsoo's life that he had seen an adult cry like this. Or cry at all for that matter. The most tears Kyungsoo has been exposed to were in movies. His life was pretty emotionally uneventful for him to actually be able to contain and stay around emotionally loaded people for a long period of time. It's just not his thing.

But Chanyeol.

Chanyeol's soul was flowing out of his eyes straight into the depths inside Kyungsoo's heart. A heart he thought wouldn't have been able to soak in any sort of warmth.

Such an odd event.

Not only the idea of any specific person occupying Kyungsoo's mind, but the fact that it took so little time to happen with a stranger. There's no telling what exactly it is about Chanyeol that lured Kyungsoo's soul awake from it's frozen slumber. A parental instinct maybe? The strong pain that gushed out of Chanyeol's each sob that Kyungsoo heard at first? Such a large man seeming so small and vulnerable?

Either way, Kyungsoo feels a sense of responsibility towards that man in light of everything he had learned about him, and so thinking about him made time pass at least thrice as quickly at work.

And now the second day after they met, Kyungsoo's given himself a task.

Knowing that thanks to Kyungsoo a person was able to stop themselves from being a victim of their own pained doings of ending their life, he feels the need to make sure his job was done right. Which in this case means he feels the need to make sure Chanyeol is still alive. Would be nice knowing that he's actually in an OK state, but being alive is already a good enough start for someone who's not very interested in keeping that going for them.

Kyungsoo can't relate to this at all. He never thinks about dying, or death, or the future. It just stresses him out in ways he's not built to deal with, and so his cold isolated detached mind simply never brings these subjects up at all. Kyungsoo doesn't want to die, he isn't afraid of it, but right now he just exists.

It's strange to think that there's a chance a person he knows will cease to exist. It's not a good feeling, and although Kyungsoo never dealt with such complex subjects before, and although his mind pretty much doesn't give a damn, he knows how to behave like a normal person who has a few morals to keep them somewhat a part of society.

And so he ended up here. In the middle of a giant supermarket, with Sehun.

He never thought the day would come when he'd actually go and purchase groceries for someone other than himself. But also shop with someone other than himself.

Kyungsoo's used to taking care of himself. He's been doing it for way more years than people usually do. Going to buy some groceries once in a while so he could feed himself at home has always been a part of his life even before turning into an adult. Now it's different only because Kyungsoo is doing it for someone else. Probably because he doesn't quite have an idea of his target's taste yet too, actually.

With him came Sehun, an important friend, a co-worker, who's in much less of a struggle than Kyungsoo for this activity. His friend came prepared with an actual proper list written by none other than his housemate who handles their domestic daily lives meticulously.

Pushing their cart through the isles, Sehun's tall and broad self slightly reminds Kyungsoo of Chanyeol. His friend simply walks around, grabbing what he needs and ticking it off a proper list, while Kyungsoo's still standing in front of the large array of sauces sitting on the shelf and waiting for him to be tempted enough to purchase them.

The conflict is real. Should he go with a pad thai sauce and make something he knows well, or would it be better to put a little more personal effort and use the teriyaki for a different meal?

"Did it make you angry?"

Sehun's raspy voice came from behind his ear and made him jump. But only internally.

"What did?"

"The pad thai sauce bottle."

Kyungsoo sighed and stared down at the bottle in his hands for a while longer in silence before turning around and placing it carefully inside their surprisingly loaded cart. Well, Kyungsoo's section is only the little corner on the left, and so far it contains a pack of noodles, chicken breasts, some mushrooms, an onion, and now the pad thai sauce.

"Yeah, made me super angry."

He replied to his friend and gently nudged his head on Sehun's shoulder, expressing his frustration before they moved on.

"I'm actually pretty impressed. Never thought you'd put this much effort into anything. Especially not for a random dude."

Sehun continued, leaning his elbows on the cart's handle as they walk, probably in order to make eye contact with Kyungsoo who's staring mostly down at his phone for the tenth time to reread the recipe he's planning to cook.

"Huh. Guess so. Never thought I'd do it either... But I can't help it. Just feels wrong to do nothing after knowing what's up. He better appreciate it."

"Honestly I'm jealous."

Kyungsoo gave Sehun a glance, noticing the way his lips pout childishly, and cracked a small smile in return.

"Yeah right. He'll be the first dude I cook for because I want to and not because I slept with him before."

"Wait, what? You've slept with him before? Did you secretly sleep with our entire working staff?"

"No. I just said---... Oh my god can't you be proud of me without being an ass? Cooking for you guys isn't the same. You're my friends... And guinea pigs to test my skills. He's just a stranger."

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at his friend and attacked him with a quick yet gentle poke at the ribs, making him squirm with a chuckle.

It's easier like this, with Sehun. It makes Kyungsoo feel a lot less like a fool for putting this much time and good intentions into this. He simply wanted to make sure Chanyeol is taking good care of himself even in the tough situation he's at.

There's very little that Kyungsoo knows about mourning and loss, but he did hear from Minseok yesterday at the bar that usually family members and friends of the mourning person would be the ones to take charge of the person's well being. Keep them company, make sure they eat, wash, and sleep. It seems easy enough, and although Kyungsoo never experienced what it's like to do anything for anybody else on his own accord, it'll be fine.

Sehun joined him because it was convenient and came in handy for him, but Kyungsoo's still thankful deep inside for not having to continously battle his own confused thoughts about it alone.

It's actually a lot easier like this, because while Kyungsoo is struggling to carry one bag into the trunk of the car, Sehun carries four of them and seals the deal.

"Show off."

He accused his tall intimidating looking friend while buckling up beside him at the front seat.

"You gotta do what you gotta do, buddy. What's the address?"

"Just drop me at my place, it's like a minute from there."

Sehun hummed in approval and allowed the car's engine to roar and warm up a little before driving off. Sometimes Kyungsoo wonders how Sehun's life seems to be run in such perfect order. Everything he does is carefully calculated and done on the best terms every time. Although he's younger by a year he handles himself like a proper settled adult. That easily puts Kyungsoo's heart at ease.

It's not like Kyungsoo has a messy life or anything, he lives from day to day without much change, without wanting a change. Feels safe to have a routine, he isn't looking for anything out of the ordinary. As long as he has his own little place and a way to pay the bills and eat, he'll be fine. He has no ambitions for a brighter future. He never thought he would have a future at all.

 

  
"Thanks again for joining me Sehun. And for the lift. Have a nice evening!"

Kyungsoo greeted his friend goodbye, standing in the surprisingly empty street with an umbrella in one hand, and a groceries filled plastic bag in the other. He should have prepared better for this and brought his own cloth bag for the grocery packing, because paying for the plastic bag costs extra. Which is a good thing obviously, destroying the planet for plastic comes with a price. Greater than money, but it's a start.

He watched how Sehun waved goodbye with a smile before driving off onto the damp road and disappearing behind one of the street's curves. At this moment Kyungsoo would have actually loved to join him. Sehun invited most of the bar's working staff to dinner, but Kyungsoo had to decline due to way more personal obligations.

It was raining only lightly, but the wind created uneven waves of heavier downfall and added the element of way lower temperature.

Really, he should have prepared better for this. When he got out of the house he didn't realize the temperature would drop this much. Well, the fault is all his. A quick glance at his television would have taught him about the situation, but after a long nightshift there's no way he'd strain his eyes this much. At least he has his trusty umbrella.

This would be the second time Kyungsoo visits Chanyeol's place, and the second time while utilizing the same umbrella. A blessed addition for it keeps him dry when climbing up the stairs that lead to apartment number sixty one's little entrance porch.

Now comes the moment of hesitation. It's not that Kyungsoo's nervous or afraid of anything, he just hasn't really told Chanyeol he's planning to come over at all. Let alone come over and actually cook for Chanyeol in his very own kitchen.

Kyungsoo isn't the type to get shy or feel foreign even in other people's houses. Especially not if it's a house he spent a night at merely two days ago. He'll just get in, cook the food, make sure Chanyeol's doing fine, and then leave. Maybe even make it in time to join the dinner at Sehun's place.

Although he does have Chanyeol's number and could have easily checked whether his visit is welcome or not, Kyungsoo isn't a big cellphone user. A habit he should learn to change, perhaps. Especially now when there's a possibility Chanyeol's well being is in direct connection to him. Not cool, to offer being available and then not standing up to his own words. But it isn't exactly his fault either, he's a busy person.

Finding the time to shop and come to Chanyeol's place is already quite a big thing on its own. What could have possibly happened in the single full day they haven't communicated?

They aren't friends so it shouldn't be such a big deal. At least Kyungsoo hoped so while knocking on the door in front of him.

The light crackling noises of raindrops falling and hitting down on the plastic cover of Kyungsoo's umbrella is pretty pleasant. What's less pleasant is the fact that he is freezing his guts out here. Standing on top of a staircase between one building and another, where the wind whirls and howls stronger, louder, and colder than out in the street itself.

It took Kyungsoo five whole minutes to realize he isn't getting any answer from inside the apartment. And then five more while leaning against the metal rail of the stairs to decide whether or not he should just leave and display his good intentions in another way on another time.

At this point, there isn't much chance Kyungsoo would be willing to go through the same effort draining process of shopping for someone else again just to show that he feels responsible for the dude's well being after seeing his lowest low, and it's already dark outside which must mean normal work hours are ending soon and Chanyeol will most likely arrive shortly.

A part of him really wants to give this whole idea up, put everything in his own place and head out to Sehun's and maybe even make it in time for their planned dinner meet up with a few other friends.

But the bigger part of him simply can't budge. Even if this subject is something he really isn't excited to think about, a looming feeling of obligation towards his tall handsome new acquaintance is greater than his usual need for self preservation. It's not like he is personally involved in worrying about him, but the thought of that man actually ending his life somehow raises subtle fear in the back of Kyungsoo's mind.

What if he could have stopped it like last time? What if he was too late? What if he was part of the reason?

No, it won't happen. There is no way. And even if so, Kyungsoo is smarter than allowing himself to fall into the hole of self inflicted guilt over something he has barely any control over. He knows he is doing his best, the rest is not up to him.

Of course Kyungsoo cares, but his first priority will always be himself. That's how everybody should carry themselves around. Being selfless is good, to a certain degree. Because once one begins losing themselves, there might not be anybody else to pick up the pieces and glue them back together.

Who like Kyungsoo knows.

 

  
Speaking of selflessness, Kyungsoo is starting to feel like a fool.

He's been waiting for over an hour now. His umbrella hasn't been moved in so long that the little platform under his feet already became dry. That was good, because his legs began hurting from standing in one spot for so long. He allowed himself to sit down on the platform with the groceries bag beside him under the umbrella's cover, his legs resting on the nearly dry staircase spot that was also sheltered from the rain when he stood.

[ To: Sad Chanyeol  
Hey, when will you get home today? ]

The new contact name he decided to give Chanyeol to make sure he remembers the responsibility. Or maybe to trick himself into feeling responsible.

Kyungsoo tapped down on his cellphone's screen before allowing the message to send. Then stared down at his slowly darkening device screen for about a minute more.

Is it rude of him to have chosen the name 'Sad Chanyeol' as the guy's contact name? Could be. But it's just more convinient that way because it's a good reminder for Kyungsoo to be cautious and calm even when experiencing situations like the last time.

Right before his screen locked itself shut, Kyungsoo tapped on it again, scrolling up in their very short conversation log of text exchange. Cold wind repeatedly blowing on his nose and cheeks makes Kyungsoo wish he would have brought his scarf, or coat, or anything warm really. But at least Chanyeol's goofy selfie while holding Kyungsoo's forgotten underwear is there to give him a small injection of determination.

These underwear are gone and done for. It's too creepy to think of what Chanyeol might have done with them, so Kyungsoo just shakes the thoughts by starting up the single gaming app he has on his device. Matching colorful blocks together for points to pass through levels.

So yeah, the game is nice, but only for about forty minutes. Then it becomes a mental burden and a physical strain to keep his eyes focused on the pixelated little symbols, even with the glasses.

Right when he finally decided to shut off the game and make sure his phone has enough battery to survive for a while longer, it began buzzing in his palm, producing the annoying classic calling tune.

"Hey."

"What's up, you coming for dinner?"

It was Sehun. Kyungsoo could hear some other voices from the other side of the line. He recognized Jongin's laughter and Minseok's pouty way of talking when he's dissatisfied, along with a few barks. Ah... Kyungsoo's really tempted to just leave this freezing rainy spot on the staircase and head over there to participate.

Must be so warm... So cosy... So cheerful, to be there right now. It sounds very lively compared to Kyungsoo's quiet windy surrounding and water drops drumming on his umbrella.

"When are you starting?"

"Half an hour? Forty minutes?"

Kyungsoo sighed into his device and curled down, leaning his upper body ontop of his knees to allow his head to dangle down and stare at his own shoes.

"Can't yet. Don't wait or anything."

"Sure. Are you okay though? I can hear the wind... Are you outside?"

He could hear suspicion and worry in Sehun's voice, and quickly stretched back up into a proper sitting position. He let the umbrella lower itself down onto his head while using his now free hand to cover the back side of his phone.

"I'm good, tell Jongin he still owes me a shift though."

"Mmhmm."

His friend hummed in return and all he could do was listen to more warm sounding voices coming from the background. It's so tempting.

"I might pop up later. See you Sehun."

"Okay, bye."

And the conversation was over. The first interaction Kyungsoo had with anyone after spending hours alone and feeling how the liquids in his body are solidifying into ice. Probably. It's so damn cold.

Honestly, it's getting a little annoying. Chanyeol is not to be blamed for this, since Kyungsoo himself hasn't really announced he's planning to come over and cook for him. But It's getting late, and colder, and Kyungsoo's tired.

He sent Chanyeol at least three messages now, asking where he is and if everything's okay, but to no avail. No response came back his way.

How much longer is Kyungsoo willing to stay and wait? There's a slight chance Chanyeol's not even in the country at all. He's thought about it already. Chanyeol did mention last time that he travels a lot and works alongside his father in the airline company ownership business things, that Kyungsoo can't be bothered to understand. But would he leave so quickly after what he had gone through?

Kyungsoo can't really tell. He never experienced the feeling of loss. Maybe it's another possible way for people to deal with such things? Does it help with the trauma? Is Chanyeol even on vacation or out for work? Ugh.

It's pointless to try and think this out. He has no lead to go with and it just increases the discomfort of the headache that began building in his skull.

He really didn't plan to give up on Chanyeol, but he spent so many hours sitting on this stupid staircase in the chilling temperature, it got so late, and Kyungsoo really deserves to warm up and have a nice dinner with his buddies.

 

  
There's only one thing left to do.

Kyungsoo turned his backpack around and started searching inside it, pulling out a small notebook where he usually writes down recipes he wants to try but isn't at home, and the pen that's connected to it with a small string he tied himself. Then he began writing.

'Hey Chanyeol.  
I came to visit but you weren't around. Would have cooked for you but you'll have to do it yourself now. Hit me up when you're back.  
\- Kyungsoo.'

Good enough. Chanyeol doesn't need to know how many hours Kyungsoo spent sitting outside of his apartment's door. It's way too embarrassing to admit. Chanyeol is after all just a stranger he had helped before, such dedication is really out of Kyungsoo's usual expertise.

Chanyeol would definitely be able to read his handwriting, it's simple and smooth. No place for mistakes.

Once satisfied with the result Kyungsoo tore the paper out of his notebook and rested it on top of the groceries inside the plastic bag. Then he tied the two ends tightly together to prevent water from dropping inside, and stood up. Leaving the bag with all the food he bought beside Chanyeol's door as he went down the stairs and back to the street with his umbrella.

It's late, really late, but not late enough to have missed his chance for a dinner at Sehun and his roommate's place.

After one last glance up the stairs at the plastic bag slowly gathering raindrops into one of the little crevices, Kyungsoo finalized his decision with a sigh and began making his way towards the certainly warm and cosy house of his friend. And anyway, he's starving.

Careful steps between puddles that gathered around the nooks and curves on the pavement lead Kyungsoo away from Chanyeol's apartment building, past his own, and out into the street. Only to make a turn not long after into his usual pathway to the bar. He isn't heading there, but it's the best shortcut to get to Sehun's place.

It hasn't stopped raining in hours. Although not heavily at all, just a light drizzle, it's exhausting to remain in such a low temperature for a long period of time like he has. With each movement of muscles Kyungsoo feels the stings of the chill.

Of course at such an hour the back alley would be empty, so he even allowed himself to hum along with the beat the raindrops play on his umbrella. Oddly enough, the pattern actually matches to the song he hums, and there's no way he'll deny the little spark of satisfaction that came over him as a result from the coincidence.

He can already imagine the feeling of taking off his shoes after stepping into his friends' place. Must be warm and welcoming. Probably smells of healthy cooking and some autumn scented candles.

The flavor of the warm cooked food that he actually didn't make himself for a change, the joy of having the pets brushing against him, the company--- Wait. What is that noise?

Kyungsoo's line of thought was cut in the middle when he heard a familiar noise that definitely doesn't bring out any more happy thoughts.

With squinting eyes and a small fix of his glasses on top of his nose, Kyungsoo hurried his steps, splashing over the bottom of his jeans while stepping into puddles he doesn't pay attention to. It can't be good. It sounds too similar to a noise he doesn't want to hear ever again.

He reached the end of the street, the corner he hoped he'd never have to stop at after last time, and did exactly that.

In front of him on the ground, with his back pushed against the wall, soaking wet and crouched down, sat Chanyeol. Sobbing. Again.

The cries are the same, the position is the same, the darkness and wetness are almost the same, but there's still a difference. Chanyeol's now wearing a drenched yet fancy looking suit with a buttoned shirt underneath. The tie is loose and the first two buttons are opened, but from how clean and shiny his shoes are, Kyungsoo can tell he came back from something important.

Was it a funeral? Was he working? Did he go to an event?

Doesn't matter.

 

  
With a heavy heart Kyungsoo stepped forward, leaning down on his knees in front of Chanyeol and locating the umbrella over his shoulder.

It hurts.

It hurts to see Chanyeol like this again. He's in so much pain and Kyungsoo can't think about anything other than finding a way to stop his tears.

Once more this vulnerability of such a giant man is playing with Kyungsoo's heart strings. If only Chanyeol would have gotten home before coming out here it could have been prevented. Maybe. Hopefully. Kyungsoo would love the believe that there is always a way.

After making sure no raindrops are still falling onto Chanyeol's head, Kyungsoo unzipped his own dry sweater and carefully covered the cold wet body of his friend. Well, acquaintance. Then he sat down beside him under the umbrella and began rubbing his shoulders and arms quickly, hoping that the friction will create warmth.

By then Chanyeol's sobs have ceased, and all that remained were the sniffles and choked uneven breathes that come from the cry's aftermath.

"Aren't you cold?"

Kyungsoo asked gently. Cautiously. Noticing how Chanyeol's body nearly automatically huddled itself into the new dry layer of slight warmth that comes from Kyungsoo's own sweater. It's fine even if Kyungsoo's long shirt is most certainly not enough against the unforviging temperature, because Chanyeol is wet and cold, which is ten times worse than Kyungsoo's dry chills.

It was quiet now. The light rain gently tapping on top of the umbrella above them, and the distant sound of car tires splashing some water off the side of the road echoes through the street and into the alley's silence almost like waves at a beach.

Kyungsoo can't do much, so he settles with the gentle rubs over Chanyeol's body and with the comfort of not being all alone. He can see some water dripping down from Chanyeol's fringe and onto his own face and clothes. Thank goodness Kyungsoo himself is dry, otherwise the two of them together would have been the easiest targets for catching a cold.

"How long have you been out here?"

He attempted to speak again, it'd be better to try and distract him for now, right? They could sit and talk about anything serious at the moment they are both comfortable and warm. Right now the first priority is to get Chanyeol back home in one piece. And hopefully make sure he wouldn't read Kyungsoo's embarrassing note.

There was no response for a while. Kyungsoo could only watch how his and Chanyeol's breaths turn into a soft puff of steam once leaving their lips, and hear how the breathing pattern and pace of his wet pal are slowly settling back to normal.

It's really tough.

Kyungsoo can only imagine how scary it must be for Chanyeol. Even if their lives are completely different, pain can hit anybody regardless of financial worth or overall goodness scale.

He never really exeprienced anything that could bring him to this level of suffering, but even if it sounds cliche, he really wouldn't mind sharing a little bit of a burden if it means this giant would be under even a little bit less agony.

"Sorry."

Chanyeol finally spoke. His voice dry, weary and hoarse.

Deep in all the wrong ways instead of the tone Kyungsoo already knows he normally has.

"Let's go."

That was the sign. Kyungsoo knows that. If Chanyeol spoke it means he is ready to change whatever situation he's in right now, and Kyungsoo's more than ready to help him do that as soon as possible. Because one more minute cold and freezing could result in some serious difficulties in the future.

He let out a huff of hot air into the coldness and started shifting in his spot, rising up to his feet and reaching his hands down towards Chanyeol to hang on while raising himself as well. But there was still no reaction.

"Chanyeol, let's go."

A repetition was necessary.

Maybe it provided a comfirmation for Chanyeol that he won't be left alone. That Kyungsoo isn't going anywhere without him at this moment, and it seemed to have been the case. Because a short glance of Chanyeol's reddened swollen eyes his way, Kyungsoo's reached out hands were met with his, and he helped the giant rise up to his feet as well.

Change of plans for Kyungsoo it is. Well, sort of. Because he is back to his original plan now.

As Chanyeol stood up beside him, his back hunched down and his face hidden by the hair falling down over his face, Kyungsoo made him hold the umbrella while grabbing what looks like Chanyeol's work bag. A black square shaped leather suitcase shut tight by a magnetic mechanic lock.

"Okay, we're going now."

He announced gently, huddled beside their shelter holder who doesn't even emit heat at this state. Maybe Kyungsoo's the one who needs to stay warmer for them both at this point. They began walking back towards Chanyeol's apartment where Kyungsoo came from. He'll have to come over for dinner at Sehun's on the next opportunity.

There's no way he'll be leaving Chanyeol alone. He didn't before and he won't now either.

It was slow, but Kyungsoo led them carefully, one hand holding Chanyeol's bag, and the other onto Chanyeol's back. Gently encouraging him to continue walking. He must be so cold. Beyond the level of being able to shake from it at all.

Somehow they managed to avoid any serious deep puddles on their path, and Kyungsoo was surely relieved that Chanyeol was able to climb the stairs up to his apartment without a struggle even at his state.

When they reached the top of the staircase Kyungsoo quickly grabbed hold on the groceries plastic bag he had left here before. Dragging it inside with him when he entered the apartment after Chanyeol folded the umbrella and stepped in quickly.

"Listen, you should go shower."

He called out to Chanyeol who ended up standing in the middle of the living room area, Kyungsoo's sweater already dropped down on the couch. He was soaking wet, but the rain wasn't as spiteful as the last time they had to spend time outside together, so he didn't leave any trails of water behind him when turning around straight into the bathroom.

Okay, at least he listened. That's already good. Kyungsoo hoped that on top of Chanyeol's emotional struggle with himself and the situation he wouldn't become sick and have to handle his physical state as well. That'd only make things twice as bad.

It's kind of strange how much Kyungsoo actually cares for this mourning stranger, but he simply can't deny that a little piece of his heart has shifted to allow this man some access in.

He's been more comitted to this man's health in the last three days than he has ever been to anything else in his life. More than he has ever thought about whoever he slept with, more than his own friends right now as well.

A quick inspection of the little kitchen unit's equipment revealed that Kyungsoo's original plan of taking over Chanyeol's kitchen in order to cook him some healthy delicious noodles can commence.

 

  
When hearing the water stream echo from the bathroom, Kyungsoo untied the groceries bag, crumbling his own note into a small ball and trashing it right away. It's better not to embarrass himself too much at this point since it's already quite a big deal to be here at all.

Quickly enough and without much struggle he began cooking. Using pots and tools he managed to find around the small kitchen unit in the apartment, even shamelessly taking usage of the existing spices located there that belong to Chanyeol. By the time the bathroom has gone silent, Kyungsoo was too distracted by the cooking noises to notice the change happening behind him.

A while of concentrated cooking passed before Kyungsoo had come to aknowledge the man standing beside him, leaning against the refrigerator and staring at his hands and movements as he skillfully jumps the vegetables and noodles in the large wok.

Chanyeol looked exhausted. Dark circles surround his eyes and leave heavy bags underneath the bottom lid, his arms are crossed over his own elbows and his permed hair is a mess. At least he's dressed warm and proper. Good thing the apartment itself is considerably hotter than outside.

He's just standing there and watching. It always catches Kyungsoo off guard to realize that Chanyeol's wide tall and well built body can look so small. More than a head taller than Kyungsoo, and yet it feels like Chanyeol's a lost sad child waiting for his caretakers to pick him up and get back home.

Without further thoughts about his itching need to stroke Chanyeol's head or even hold around him and tell him things will be okay, Kyungsoo simply grabbed a few noodles onto a small tasting plate, and with his chopsticks brought it to Chanyeol's mouth to taste. The giant's mouth automatically opened for Kyungsoo's to drop the goods, and even though his reaction lacked a lot of enthusiasm he chewed it thoroughly and swallowed with his eyes closed.

"Sit down Chanyeol, it's ready."

While Chanyeol made his way to the living room space and flopped down onto the soft carpet, Kyungsoo distributed the food to two plates and packed everything onto the hightened tray. He brought it down in front of them both after sitting down beside Chanyeol as well.

They ate in silence, the television was turned on at some point. A late night talking show about celebrity scandals and dating rumours were on low volume just so they wouldn't have to create any sort of awkward inbetween-bites sort of conversation while eating. It didn't stop Kyungsoo from glancing over at Chanyeol's expression from time to time though. His aura was slowly submerged back under the cold waters of calmness after the flaming stress and pain of before, so that's already an improvement.

He mumbled something about the food being good. Kyungsoo thinks, at least. He couldn't really make out the words. But even without words, the fact that Chanyeol finished everything on his plate down to the little remains of vegetable bits and stray noodle corners was enough sign of gratitude.

"So how was your day?"

Kyungsoo broke the silence, genuinely interested in the answer since it could hide the reason for Chanyeol's second breakdown in the rainy street at night.

"Spent it at work. Just following my dad around and pretending to care."

Chanyeol answered after a little while. There was no need for either of them to speak loudly. The quiet rumble of the television was low enough. Combined with the light sound of the rain tapping on Chanyeol's windows from outside, it created a pleasant quiet noise the numbed everything out.

"Fun."

He exhaled and leaned forward a little, now turning his head to look in Chanyeol's direction.

"Does your father know about... Uh..."

"No."

A definitive quick response.

"He never liked the way I decided to live. 'In the dirty streets'. 'With the stupid people'."

His long fingers stretched upwards to curl down into a mocking sign of quotation marks, and he changed his tone a little when imitating his father's words, creating a voice that's more croaky and old than Chanyeol's own. Total disrespect, but who is Kyungsoo to judge? The father himself is the one saying such awful things about the simple life of the normal average citizen.

"Oh wow."

Kyungsoo doesn't really care. He's not hurt from such words. If anything he feels detached from them completely. He never was and probably never will be truly bothered by anybody's opinion about him or his life.

Even though in this case the conclusion is that Chanyeol's deceased friend had a life similar to Kyungsoo enough for him to be able to relate even if just a little to the arrogant description.

It just means that Chanyeol disagrees with his father, which means Kyungsoo isn't considered stupid or dirty to him. Oddly, that's all it takes for Kyungsoo to be able to pass on the subject without any further discussion. Kyungsoo wouldn't back down from a confrontation, but what's the point in talking about it with a person who shares the same line of thoughts? It's Chanyeol's father who said such things, not Chanyeol himself.

And anyway, at this hour, and after finding Chanyeol in such a low state yet again, Kyungsoo's surprised he's still awake enough to talk.

 

  
It's quiet for a while longer. They are both staring at the illuminated television screen blankly. It's clear that neither of them are actually processing any of what they're hearing or seeing anything of what's being displayed. Each in their own world. And Kyungsoo's proud enough of his own cooked meal that he tries to memorize exactly how much of each ingredient he added. Maybe in the future he'll be able to recreate this feat for Sehun and Jongin.

"You stopped me again."

Chanyeol's deep yet low words break through Kyungsoo's train of thoughts. Storing the recipe's memory in the back of his head while his attention turns to the man.

"Stopped...?"

He exhales slowly and looks downwards at his own large feet covered in thick socks.

"I wanted to go to the bridge."

Oh.

The bridge.

Chanyeol was planning to reenact his intentions from days ago when Kyungsoo first found him. To jump off the bridge right into the highway and end his life.

What kind of coincidence does it take for Kyungsoo to be the one saving this man twice in under a week. Is he saving him? Is being alive and suffering better than the peace of the end?

The hell is he saying, of course it's better. Life sucks. But it's something. Death is nothing. Existing has its ups and downs, but not existing by choice only brings more trouble to everyone who's left behind.

Doesn't Chanyeol realize it? His friend ended his life and now Chanyeol is left with the burden. Chanyeol and the nervebroken fiance. Is that what Chanyeol wants to inflict on others?

Kyungsoo isn't exactly a great enthusiast about life, since he can't recall a single moment of his life where he felt any form of actual happiness. But he never felt any form of actual despair either. Maybe he's just messed up just like his life, but the fact he was never brought to an emotional edge might very well be the reason he is still alive at all.

And while Kyungsoo's unable to allow himself to truly feel, it seems Chanyeol's on the other end of the spectrum in which he is unable to maintain any balance in his emotions and feelings.

Either way, a person's life is an entire universe of magic to explore, and Kyungsoo's fine with keeping a universe in the realm of existence right now.

"Glad I found you then."

Was all he could say. Because there isn't anything else that needs to be said.

They fell into another period of silence. The rain is continuously drifting between a heavy downpour and a light drizzle outside, while they are both warm and comfortable in the cosy apartment and the fluffy carpet.

Kyungsoo was almost able to actually concentrate on the weird gameshow playing on the television, but Chanyeol's head movements towards the kitchen's direction distracted him enough to lose the interest he had built.

"Where'd you even get all these things from?"

Did Chanyeol only now realize Kyungsoo wasn't using any of Chanyeol's owned cooking ingredients and materials for the meal? Well, it's not that hard to see the plastic bag filled with the empty packages of the goods Kyungsoo bought right near the edge of the counter. Does that mean Chanyeol's finally coming back to his senses beyond the overwhelming wave of emotions from before?

The million dollars question.

Kyungsoo would have no problem answering literally anything else right now but this.

He's a terrible liar, and as the miliseconds passed from the moment the question was asked, Kyungsoo's mind was grinding thoroughly on the least embarrassing way to relay his answer.

Coming to the conclusion that there is no avoiding the truth, and it's better to just be honest with himself if he wants to continue having a pleasant time with this man.

In a slow and lazy gesture, Kyungsoo raised his finger and pointed it directly at Chanyeol, receiving no particular change of expression in return.

"I got it for you."

Now there's a shift. Chanyeol's eyes grew just a little bit.

"Oh... Really?"

Kyungsoo pulled his finger back down and turned to face away from the giant, leaning back against the bottom of the couch behind him while staring at nothing in front.

"Yup. Didn't know you weren't home, so I waited outside."

Sure, yeah, go all out. Embarrass yourself even more Kyungsoo, why not. It's pointless at this stage. He might as well just go to the trash bin and take out the freaking note he left for Chanyeol originally. How ridiculous.

"You should have---"

"Called you? Yeah. I tried."

Kyungsoo stopped Chanyeol's words midway through the end and without moving his head, just allowed his eyes to wander sideways to examine Chanyeol's reaction. He looked down at his own body for a moment, frozen in place, eyebrows furrowed with concentration before huffing out with frustration.

"Fuck. I think I forgot it in the driver's car."

A driver huh. Makes sense. Being the son of an elitist airline company owner and all.

But it seems to really itch Chanyeol's emotions into a negative path again, and Kyungsoo above all else, wouldn't want to be a reason for Chanyeol to feel anything other than OK at any time. So he turns to face Chanyeol.

"It's fine. I'm just glad you're okay. I was worried."

"...Oh..."

Chanyeol looked back at Kyungsoo quietly. Their eyes locked in a silent gaze, until Kyungsoo realized that there are miniscule trembles of muscles on the giant's face. There was something else in those eyes now. Something he hasn't seen before.

There's an overflow of emotions sparking out of Chanyeol's expression and Kyungsoo isn't sure how to take it. It seems to be positive, before he can feel such an immense amount of hope emitting from him. Maybe even gratitude.

Okay, Kyungsoo will take it. This glimpse of positivity he's seeing from Chanyeol is great. So he smiles. And another spark of emotion whirls out of Chanyeol's barely contained fiery eyes.

"I'm kind of really bad in the whole phone thing, like texts and calls. But I'll try. So if you feel like sitting and crying outside again please let me know."

He spoke, bringing the subject back to their miscommunication. Because it's something that can be fairly easily changed. Something fixable that has the chance of giving Chanyeol a certain responsibility. A small one, that'd be just enough for him to not fall into a turmoil of mess again.

"I could let you sit and cry in my place instead."

Kyungsoo finalized his words with a new washed wave of subtle confidence. He can do that. He can offer his place for this man who had done the same for him when he was in need before. Well, a different sort of need, but it's something.

"In your place...?"

A wary response. Or maybe it's just the surprise that sucked the voice out of Chanyeol's throat.

"Yeah. I mean, technically its the same except there won't be any rain or dirt. Oh and there will be like... Tons of blankets. And some tea too."

A brief summary of Kyungsoo's apartment. Sounds about right. It's nothing much, but it's the very same roof Kyungsoo lives under, and that's a big enough offer already for a situation of this sort. He's willing to put his own alone time and comfort aside in order to provide a shelter in case Chanyeol would need it.

When did he get so selfless and brave? Wouldn't it bite him back to be too nice? He had learned his lesson enough times in the past. But there's just something about Chanyeol that he cannot resist or get rid of.

He was just being genuine, so why is it that Chanyeol's whole body posture hunches down, head lowered towards the floor and his shoulders and arms fallen loosely on the sides of his body. Almost like a corpse. Was it bad? Is it wrong to offer to do something and display his good intentions towards Chanyeol?

It's silent for a while, and Kyungsoo begins worrying he might have done something awfully wrong. Being unable to see Chanyeol's eyes because of the hair hiding them is really not helping either. He isn't that worried. He isn't going to fall into a state of panic or anything. Kyungsoo remains calm while staring at the giant beside him, wondering what's the meaning of this sudden demeanor change.

"...Kyungsoo, why are you being so kind to me?"

Chanyeol's voice then rasped out without a change in posture.

"Actually... I don't know. It just sounds wrong to leave you after seeing how I met you. And after today too... Well."

He replied calmly, softly. Not to fright Chanyeol's newborn fragile state. The only thing he can do is be honest at this point. It'd cause a lot of trouble if Kyungsoo would decide to pretend he's some hero that came to save the day. Or if he cares about Chanyeol more than what naturally makes sense.

There's no way he could pinpoint the exact reason for why he just can't help but feel for Chanyeol's struggle. When they met, Chanyeol was able to move something so deep in Kyungsoo's inanimate heart, that he actually cried himself. And Kyungsoo doesn't even remember the last time he shed a tear at all.

"You don't even know me."

Another deep exclaim from Chanyeol.

"Yeah. I don't. But I know you're suffering and it just feels bad to not do anything, you know?"

Chanyeol must be able to relate to this. Wouldn't he feel the same if he saw someone suffering? After the display of kindness he showed Kyungsoo by offering him to stay the night, shower and even lent him some clothes, It's easy to assume Chanyeol's heart would have beaten to the same rhythm right now.

Kyungsoo doesn't know Chanyeol. He barely knows anything about him either, but he can tell the man has a good heart, and that's good enough reason to allow himself to be this flexible and spontaneous about this whole thing.

Even his friends don't really get the honor to be invited to Kyungsoo's place frequently. The latest visitor was Sehun, a few weeks back, because Kyungsoo offered him to stay the night there instead of going back home on foot when it was late and he didn't have his car.

He's not about commiting to things.

Taking responsibility for anything or anyone else would be too much trouble for Kyungsoo's emotion devoided sort of personality.

Chanyeol can surely relate to this exception Kyungsoo is making for him. Otherwise it'd be a little awkward to remain sitting in the house of a man who wouldn't have done the same.

 

  
It's quiet for an unsettling long period of time.

Until Chanyeol finally raises his head and looks at Kyungsoo's direction, but not quite into his eyes, with an expression that's filled with a wave of hidden hope and hesitation.

"Can you... Get to know me? I mean, can I know you? No. Can we just--- Uh..."

Is Chanyeol asking if they can become friends? Is that what he's struggling to suggest? Does he not know how to say it without sounding weird? Well, another thing Kyungsoo himself can relate to. The feeling of being unable to express thoughts and feelings without sounding lame.

Chanyeol doesn't sound lame though, he sounds worried. Scared even. Is he afraid that Kyungsoo would decline and just leave him as is? After Kyungsoo's brave confession about his own unfamiliar feeling of responsibility towards him?

They are both probably very messed up if somehow they managed to fall into such a surreal conversation. Coming under the label of 'friends' means the both of them would have to put effort into it now. But it makes even more sense after Kyungsoo's request for them to properly communicate through their devices.

Even if Chanyeol's being hesitant, Kyungsoo can feel his words come from an inner faint wish, maybe a faint dream to replace the nightmare of a life he must be enduring right now.

It's cute though. Chanyeol is cute.

Kyungsoo just kept staring at him, amused by the way he stumbled on his words, before smiling at him again.

An honest, genuine smile.

"Yeah. Sure. We can."

 

  
And so they spent the night in Chanyeol's living room. Sitting and jokingly insulting the boring TV show host together, until Kyungsoo's yawns were strong enough to nearly paralyze his body. Which was when they said their goodbyes. Kyungsoo threw the leftover trash from the visit to Chanyeol's apartment on his way back to his own building, and it took less than ten minutes for him to fall asleep once in his own bed.

The next morning he woke up to his alarm, and after putting his glasses on, he found a new message from Chanyeol once again. This time it wasn't a picture of Kyungsoo's underwear, but of the uncrumpled note he had written for Chanyeol before finding him in the street, and Chanyeol's tired yet grinning face beside it.

[ From: Sad Chanyeol  
The food was great. Thank you again. ]

How the hell did he find the note. More importantly, how the hell did he get his phone back so quickly?

[ To: Sad Chanyeol  
Do you always rummage through your trash like this? How come you have your phone again? ]

Kyungsoo began getting ready between the yawns. And by the time he made it to the bar to begin his shift, Chanyeol sent him another message.

[ From: Sad Chanyeol  
Do you want to come over for dinner today? I'll be the cook this time. ]

While sliding the phone back into his pocket, Kyungsoo didn't even realize his lips curved into a smile as he wrapped the black apron around his hips. Part of his work unifrom.

Of course he wants to come for dinner. Dry, warm, dinner that doesn't involve any rain soaked circumstances.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

 

  
Somehow, it is way easier than Kyungsoo initially thought it would be.

Staying in frequent fluent connection with Chanyeol, that is.

Contacting each other through texts and images is very convenient. It breaks down the slightly awkward barrier of privacy between them, now that they are able to slowly learn each other's personalities and way of expressing themselves without the extra very heavy layer of sadness.

In the two instances they've met face to face there was this looming dark atmosphere due to Chanyeol's active painful mourn. Kyungsoo doesn't really have any specific feeling against it. It's natural. Losing such an important person doesn't seem to be easy. He got to see Chanyeol dealing with his lowest low, and helped him raise above it just enough to breathe through another day.

And now with the instant strong wave of agony slowly fading from Chanyeol's mind, it's noticeably less effort draining to speak with him.

To make sure his now friend stays above the dark waters, Kyungsoo did put some effort, but not as much as he thought it'd take of him to achieve.

He made sure to text Chanyeol every single day and more often than not, Chanyeol was the first to text him instead. It was simple. Switching from greeting each other good mornings and nights, to talk about whether its better to have salted or normal butter spread on a toast, and onto complaining about the continuity of the rain stopping them from hanging their laundry to dry properly.

There was comfort in knowing that Chanyeol is just a few old smartphone screen taps away. Kyungsoo still can't figure out why there is such a strong sense of responsibility in him that keeps his mind orbiting around Chanyeol almost all the time. It's not like he really is responsible for this man's well being. It just made him feel relieved knowing he is doing fine. A miniature stress that exists only for Chanyeol. Not even Kyungsoo's own friends are able to squeeze this much care out of him.

Surely, it goes beyond Kyungsoo's general attraction to Chanyeol's physiques, right?

So either Kyungsoo's heart actually expanded in order to contain this lump of genuine concern, or he's more shallow than the puddles in the street and the only reason he cares this much about Chanyeol is because he's denying the fact that he wants to get in his pants.

He can decline these accusations at himself all he wants, but Kyungsoo still is aware of the truth. The fact that he would really, really enjoy spending some more intimate time with Chanyeol. As morally wrong as it might seem.

Chanyeol definitely managed to get to Kyungsoo's deeper layers of the soul.

He appeared like a small candle in the middle of the storm, lit inside Kyungsoo's sympathy for his great loss and great pain. But this candle only grows instead of burning out, the flame still small and managable, pretty and gentle. But Kyungsoo is worried about its growth. What if this little flame of honest care inside him will get out of control?

What if he gets attached to it, and at the moment it'll be taken out and gone the emptiness and the cold will hurt him?

He has to be careful. Kyungsoo is not one for commitment. For now it's handy and beneficial, but he can't lose track of himself and his own preservation. It's the only thing that kept him through his life, his skill of taking good care of himself.

They never really get to talk about anything too dark or serious. Never bring up anything sad or deep. It's good to keep it on the positive side for now. Chanyeol's in the process of mental recovery from the shock, and Kyungsoo's just in for the ride from reasons he is yet to determine officialy.

After the last time they met, Kyungsoo came to visit Chanyeol a few more times. Each time with an already cooked meal he had prepared in his own house mere meters away just to save the pain of cleaning everything afterwards from his friend.

He was surprised to learn just how busy Chanyeol truly is.

The man spends more than twelve hours a day out of the house. Either in traffic or in random high businessy things Kyungsoo has no clue about. A few very beautiful pictures of different views from other cities were sent to him from Chanyeol. It was nice, seeing something so different through somebody else's experience.

Some days ago they even exchanged 'Bored bathroom selfies at work' pictures. Yeah, that's how Kyungsoo decided to label this in his mind.

Chanyeol was the first to do it, sending Kyungsoo a random self taken picture in a toilet that looks more high tech and expensive than Kyungsoo's entire apartment, with a dramatic expression that screams how bored Chanyeol really is.

Of course Kyungsoo was not going to back down from replying, and took his own picture at the bar's workers' toilet which is made of plain grey tiles all over the floor, walls and even ceiling. He posed with his foot up on the edge of the sink and didn't even look at the camera for the shot. Making it as silly as possible.

He knew he succeeded because Chanyeol's reply consisted of nothing but 'Hahaha's and cry-laughing emojis.

Going on for a few days. Each time they'd find ways to take a picture more stupid than the last. Chanyeol would be wearing his fancy expensive suits in different colors and designs, all matching with a uniquely patterned tie, and Kyungsoo would be wearing his usual work attire that includes a simple black buttoned shirt, black tight jeans and a black apron around the hips.

It was great. It was fun, and it was distraction. Exactly what Kyungsoo hoped would help Chanyeol get back on track.

Kyungsoo wont admit it, but he's very eager to see how Chanyeol behaves normally. Without the cloud of darkness floating above his head and reminding him of the cruelity of life. Or death. In this case.

 

  
Getting woken up with a text from Chanyeol saying he only mere minutes ago got home after work, when the hour is around eight in the morning, wasn't exactly the best greeting.

How hard can one man work while struggling with such a heavy emotional baggage?

Not that it's any of Kyungsoo's business of course. He isn't one to judge anybody for any sort of work they do. He knows the working circle is a tough place that leads people into doing things they've never imagined doing before. Which includes working and sleeping in crazy hours.

Even if not to his liking, all Kyungsoo could do was send him a lazy good morning text, followed by a questioning good night text. No response. He must be asleep then.

Well, whatever. As long as Chanyeol's alive and surviving it's really all that matters at this point. They might not yet be as close as Sehun and Jongin are to Kyungsoo, but his connection to Chanyeol is different. Something else from any sort of feelings and thoughts he ever had towards anybody.

It's not exactly attraction, because if Kyungsoo's being serious, Sehun and Jongin are just as strong in being candidates for Kyungsoo's type auditions. It's something else. Something that entered his heart from day one and just wouldn't leave.

So while trying not to be grossly attached to anything Chanyeol related, Kyungsoo forced himself to focus on the work he has to do today.

A full time shift.

Hours he will spend standing and running around the bar.

At least today they are fully staffed for the night shift. Which means Jongin will finally fulfill his job's requirements and actually entertain the dancing crowd with his sleek charms and mesmerising hip movements. Instead of having awkward uncomfortable Kyungsoo attempt to do the same with much less enthusiasm.

It's not that bad though. Kyungsoo's body is used to this routine of working at the bar for years and years now. His feet do hurt sometimes at the end of especially long tiring shifts, but living close has its advantages. And one of them is reaching bed quickly enough to avoid dealing with the exhaustion.

Walking around with his tray during the day is easy. Most of the customers appearing at the bar before the evenings are there coincidentally. Because the bar is located conveniently close to the main road, yet far enough to have this satisfying privacy feel to it.

Those customers are often nicer and leave decent tips. Just like any other regular restaurant for that matter. So Kyungsoo is fine with handling the day shifts almost on his own. There are always at least three waiters working at the same time. Every shift must have at least one male waiter. Doesn't matter how many female waiters are there as well.

No, it's not from any sort of privileged reason, but because the girls working there actually requested it themselves. It makes them feel safer just in case anything goes down wrongly.

During the days there are no troubles at all. Other than maybe some general selfish customers who have technical problems with payment, specific meals, or just the fact that sometimes they bring their kids who create a mess. Both physically and audibly.

Kyungsoo doesn't really care about kids, especially not the ones that come to the bar at daytime and put the place in loud chaos of screams and cries.

Today is very calm for example. He easily strolls around, sending his famous friendly smiles at every customer he passes by. He knows those always help with the tip. He's the best worker. Working there for almost an entire half of his life, he developed the perfect behaviour pattern for himself to gain as much trust and sympathy from the visitors as possible in order to squeeze as much money out of them as possible.

Who needs genuinity when you have Kyungsoo's face and acting skills?

 

  
Half a day had already passed.

Kyungsoo spent his lunch sitting in the worker's back room with his fellow waitress and talking about social media controversies and scandals. Well, more like listening. She was the one doing most of the talking while he focused on chewing on their chef's beloved beef sandwich.

Apparently there was a famous band that opened a twitter user for themselves, and it was recently discovered that more than half of their followers were just fake ghost accounts. Or that the very same band started spreading false information about their sales and achievements, causing in their fans looking like fools when proven wrong by actual facts.

Kyungsoo loves these things. In no way is he some sort of social justice warrior, but if someone with influence does something bad, they should definitely be exposed and pay the price.

A very informative lunch it was. Kyungsoo enjoys spending time with his coworkers. Sometimes he's able to bond with them on an emotional level beyond the casual drinking nights and pleasant conversations during breaks.

The darker it gets outside, the more familiar faces start slowly dripping through the bar's doors. At the moment the neon light signs at the bar's entrance turn on and their reflection bounces off the puddles of rainwater gathered around in the street, everyone knows it's time to shift gears and get to the actual work.

It's still early for the alcohol to start spreading, and the dancing space is still vacant except for occasional waitress passing through it, so Kyungsoo's pretty relaxed. Today and tomorrow he'll be having two full time shifts at the bar, and he tries to reserve the energy in the best way possible.

The clock just striked the beginning of Kyungsoo's last break before the busy evening that turns the bar into almost a club.

While sitting by the bar itself and sipping on some lemonade his kind friend and the place's bartender Minseok has given him, he listened to the man's warnings about the usual customers who might have drank a little more than they should have this early. And that maybe there's a reason for Kyungsoo to be a little more cautious around them than normal.

Clearly, Minseok is saying this for Kyungsoo's sake and benefit, but Kyungsoo's good. He knows how to handle himself at this point. After thanking Minseok for the kind tip he reassured his friend that everything will be just fine. Especially since Sehun and Jongin will be starting their shift with him in a few minutes, and nobody would dare to do anything to Kyungsoo with the two of them around.

Out of excuses to continue persuading Kyungsoo of his worries, Minseok took the reasoning of the two boys as a solid reassurance and nodded with a smile instead.

Although Kyungsoo and Minseok don't really consider themselves each other's best of friends, they often find themselves together in situations where they agree to stay on the same line of thought and actions. They're pretty similar to each other. Both of them admire their own alone time and respect that the other does too.

There have been some cases in the past, before Sehun and Jongin began working at the bar, where Minseok's good eye for detecting these problematic customers actually saved Kyungsoo a lot of trouble. A lot of pain, too.

Kyungsoo is by no means shy when it comes to his physically intimate activities. More than once he ended up spending half nights with strangers from the bar in order to get over his physical needs. But sometimes such activities were initiated unwillingly. And at these times Minseok was the one solving the problem.

Kyungsoo isn't sure if it was because of Minseok's general care for his well being, or because he just didn't want to see anything happen to his workplace because of one or more customers acting out and lashing themselves onto Kyungsoo.

Luckily, he's never been under any forced connection, and through experience and growth he learned how to take such matters into his own hands and keep himself safe from possible harrassments.

Before Sehun and Jongin it took a lot of effort for Kyungsoo to keep up this wall of protection around himself and be constantly hyper aware of his surroundings, but now with the two of them, or at least one of them being around at every night shift he knows he can breathe.

Their size and piercing gazes can shut anybody down from even attempting to do anything to anyone at all.

Kyungsoo is thankful for that.

For them being there, giving him a sense of extra security. But also for the fact that somehow the three of them have become the greatest trio to come out of this bar. It's been years since they've met and even more years since they've become the best small group of friends.

Their communication does mostly depend on their shift hours and face to face interactions where they can properly get a hang of Jongin. Since his phone can be considered nonexistent from the amount of times he lost it or forgot about it.

But it doesn't make it any less worthy. They often meet up at Sehun's place with his roommate, or sometimes even go out together to drink and hang out.

An odd combination. Two tall breathtaking men together with a way shorter way less impressive man between them. Somehow it works, and Kyungsoo's definitely not planning to complain at all.

 

  
The two of them finally arrive to their shift. Entering through the back door, straight into the dressing room, and out to the side of the bar where Kyungsoo's standing and watching the visitors of the bar sitting at their tables.

Jongin comes out first, looking fresh and determined.

"Hey Kyungsoo."

"Whoa, looking good today Jongin."

Shit. Jongin's confident smile is seriously dangerous.

"Thanks. I was finally able to sleep enough. Guess it's easy to tell."

He admitted with a small chuckle and Kyungsoo couldn't help but smile in return.

After him came out Sehun, looking like he just woke up, or like he forgot what sleep was at all. Out of mercy, Kyungsoo grabbed the apron from his palms and turned to stand behind him to tie it around his hips properly. Sehun responded with a yawn and leaned against the side of the bar, sipping the last drops of water from Kyungsoo's used glass.

It seems Jongin noticed it, and with a small childish pout nudged himself beside Sehun, so Kyungsoo wouldn't even have to move in order to tie his apron as well.

An amused click of the tongue and a few hand movements later, Jongin's apron was tied just as good around his body. Which resulted in Jongin sending Kyungsoo a victorious grin and grabbing a tray to begin his shift without any delay.

Kyungsoo on the other hand, stayed next to Sehun near the bar for a little while longer.

"You look super tired man. What's up?"

He turned to look up at his friend who yawned once again.

"Nah... It's just. Junmyeon is out of town again and I can't--- I mean, he can't sleep well without me so we keep calling at night. Them my phone dies, and the alarm clock dies with it."

Very suspicious. Not the fact that they have been in a happy healthy relationship for the past five years, but the fact that Sehun tries to shift the blame of the nightly calls to Junmyeon's needs instead of his own, when it's obvious to anybody who knows them that Sehun is just as attached to Junmyeon as it is the opposite way around.

Sure, Junmyeon can't sleep well without Sehun, but Sehun can't sleep at all without Junmyeon either. So he can't trick Kyungsoo on this one.

The both of them must be equaly lonely, and equaly missing each other. Honestly, it's adorable and Kyungsoo is trying really hard to not snicker from how cute it really is, because the way Sehun averted his eyes after the slip of his tongue admitting it was himself is just really priceless.

He shouldn't tease the boy too much, Sehun does look very tired after all.

"Still away? When is he going to be back?"

He asked instead, noticing the immediate ease in Sehun's posture.

"In like another week or something."

The taller sighed before running a hand through his hair to pull it back, only for it to fail and for the bangs to gall right back on his forehead.

"Aww, poor kiddo. You know you can always come and sleep at my place, right?"

Kyungsoo raised his hand and gently pulled a few strands of hair away from Sehun's eyes. Only for the other to close his eyes, almost embrace the touch before gazing down at Kyungsoo with warmth.

"Yeah, I know. But no... Junmyeon would cry if we don't call, and I don't plan on keeping you up at nights as well."

Automatic laughter escaped Kyungsoo before he jokingly smacked Sehun's back and grabbed a tray of his own to begin the shift and serve some more needy customers who are already eyeing him for some attention.

Sehun cranked his nose to show dissatisfaction and then slapped Kyungsoo's ass right before he stepped off from the bar. Kyungsoo just turned his head back as he walked, and exchanged a fake angry gaze with Sehun before laughing to himself again.

It's that kind of connection the three of them share. Somehow, it feels like whoever ends up working in this bar is not exactly part of any high society that can provide financial security for itself. So the fact that the trio can share the same sentiment and bond regardless of their differences is really fun.

Sometimes Kyungsoo feels that he should be the one taking care of the two of them, since they are slightly younger than him. But he's often met with the fact that even though he's older, they are at a higher stage of life than him.

Jongin is studying in a public arts school, training to become a dance teacher for young children, Sehun lives with Junmyeon, the two of them own an actual house and even a car together. And then there's Kyungsoo. Who didn't even get any proper education, and is stuck in this life where he can only do what's available.

No, he's not complaining. There aren't any physical luxuries he actually wants to own or experience in his life. He just, lives. And that's good enough. He's proud and happy for his two brotherly friends to be leading a life like they do.

 

  
Hours pass quicker now that Kyungsoo has friendly company beside him. The music is a lot louder, and a mob of drunk people on various levels has gathered in the middle of the dancing space.

Neon lights sparkling both outside and inside of the bar with the rise of atmosphere. The fun begins now. The little hours at the blind of the night where it's late enough to lose control and not too late to regather the scattered responsibilities just yet.

One thing Kyungsoo appreciates about working in this bar, is the fact that he adores the outfits.

Definitely his sort of aesthetic. Kyungsoo's usual clothes are really not that different from these.

Black shoes, skinny jeans, apron and simple dress shirt. An all black outfit that is this comfortable is fun to work in. It's great during the day because it sticks out in the background of the light bar with the sun shining through the windows. And it's great during the night because it blends in with the rest of the bar's darkness and gives the worker an extra layer of safety among the usually colorful crowd.

It's way easier to clean, looks good on everyone, and gives Kyungsoo a pretty good excuse to not send any forced smiles towards any intoxicated customers who might be trying to get some refills. He's able to ignore them for as long as possible without being called out or noticed.

Kyungsoo remembers the first time he worked a nightshift, and how different it felt from running around during the day. At the time, there was a whole different crew or workers at the bar, and they taught his younger and way more innocent self everything there is to know about handling whatever might come his way in the hands of these mindless people.

This job wasn't easy, ever, actually. But it's all he has, all he knows. And that's okay.

He's still working hard every single shift he gets to participate in.

It's been quite a while. Kyungsoo hasn't noticed he's been on his feet for who knows how many hours in a row, and decided it's the perfect timing to give himself a minute to breathe. After placing his tray aside Kyungsoo sat down to one of the empty stools at the corner of the bar. With just a glance Minseok understood what he needed, and slid a glass of iced water his way over the slippery wooden surface of the bar.

Kyungsoo does feel a little dizzy. He might have forgotten to drink enough, but recharging with some cold water can't go wrong.

While sitting and slowly gulping down the freezing refreshing water into his system, resting, Kyungsoo watched how Jongin made the entire crowd of the club-like area fall for him. The way he sways and swings his hips with the beat of the music, half dances his way around the tables while skillfully depositing and gathering filled and empty drink glasses to his tray.

He's loving it. Kyungsoo can tell. Jongin really loves anything that involves music, and moving. This is really a good combination of these two aspects in one job. Soon enough he knows he'll be seeing Jongin sliding his way to the middle of the dancing crowd to turn up the true party.

No wonder Jongin's tips are always the grossest. Hundreds and sometimes even thousands of bills waiting for him at tables he took care of. It's quite amazing, really. Kyungsoo's extremely happy Jongin is able to make the most out of the situation to help himself advance further in life. Enough to leave this place with no remorse and pursue his dream.

All around the waitresses kept hyping up various old men to purchase more drinks and spend more money on this establishment. It's way easier for them to do. They can easily just, exist, and due to the fact that they have female assigned genitalia they already get ten times more attention than Kyungsoo.

It's both a good and a bad thing.

Good because in the end of the day, it benefits everyone that they are able to liven the business that much. They are precious girls that Kyungsoo cares for. Even if just a little. They're his coworkers and he's glad they're succeeding.

But it can be bad because things can get dangerous sometimes. When customers are truly beyond the level of decent consciousness, there's some place for the guys to worry. Usually the girls coming to work here are all similar to Kyungsoo in the sense of being able to take care of themselves in situations like this. But it's still fucked up in Kyungsoo's opinion that they need to fear this much.

Predators are the ones to be scared, and not the other way around. As much as Kyungsoo's attracted to men, sometimes he really hates major portions of them.

Between the sips of water and the way his eyes follow after Jongin's playful dance moves when he gets closer to the more problematic area of customers at the far away tables in the bar, Kyungsoo noticed something uncommon.

An exceptionally tall figure entered through the bar's doors. At first it was a little hard to identify due to the buzzing lights spiraling all around the place, but at the moment he recognized a pair of big ears his heart jumped with joy.

Okay, that was completely unintentional, why would he get this happy from knowing Chanyeol came to his bar? Chances are that Chanyeol came here because he was actually feeling unwell rather than for the sake of having any sort of good time with anybody.

He looks a little unhappy, and a lot lost.

Kyungsoo chuckled to himself and let his glass drop down to the bar in front of his spot. Quickly after he got up and slithered his way through the crowd. When Chanyeol came into his line of vision Kyungsoo noticed he's wearing casual looking clothes, a hoodie and distressed jeans. Very similar to the outfit Kyungsoo first met him at. Even though he is a little surprised to see him dress so 'normal' outside after the endless formal outfits he's seen him wear before because of work.

Easily enough, with Kyungsoo's own black attire, he managed to sneak into Chanyeol's personal space without him noticing, and grabbed onto his palm. Sliding his fingers around Chanyeol's large hand and slowly pulling him towards the bar.

The giant was puzzled at first from the contact, but Kyungsoo could tell he recognized him in less than a second. Maybe it's thanks to the thick round glasses Kyungsoo always wears.

 

  
When they finally made it through the jungle of careless dancers in the rink, Kyungsoo brought his visitor to sit where he had just sat himself. At the corner of the bar and right in Minseok's constant eyesight.

The giant obliged, sat down to the stool and even ordered himself an unexpectedly strong drink while Kyungsoo nodded at Minseok who gave him a single quick suspicious expression about what is going on and why this strange guy is getting any of Kyungsoo's attention at all.

"I'm touched. You came here to visit me?"

Kyungsoo teases with a sneaky smile, leaning forward onto the bar with his elbows and allowing his butt to stick out with his legs stretched fully, and crossed to fully straighten his muscles a little bit.

"Yup. I did."

His friend replied, looking around mindlessly before thanking Minseok for the drink, grabbing it in his hand and downing it in one big gulp. Followed by a huff of effort from the sudden alcohol insertion into his body.

"You work here? Wouldn't have guessed."

It's probably very different from what Kyungsoo's initial display of personality could have made him think. The only difference between work-Kyungsoo and off-work-Kyungsoo is that at work he fakes everything, and off work he's being himself. So technically, it was to Chanyeol's advantage to get to know him without the chaos of the bar.

Maybe not much of an advantage since it was a different type of chaos. But still.

"Why, doesn't fit me?"

Kyungsoo asked rather suggestively. It wasn't supposed to be, but he's not gonna deny that he's not against being a little suggestive when it comes to Chanyeol. Especially not here.

Chanyeol's reaction was pretty amusing though. At first he kept staring at Kyungsoo in subtle stress, but then his eyes wandered down over Kyungsoo's body. Clearly drawing the edges of his curves onto his mind, the perking butt, the crossed straight legs stretching his features further. Kyungsoo examined his face carefully through his glasses. Leaning down onto his arms on the table.

Shortly after, Chanyeol turned his eyes away from to his empty glass and gulped down his saliva in an almost annatural way.

"Actually fits you well."

Chanyeol admitted with difficulty to regain eye contact between them.

"Thanks."

Oh. Actually.

Maybe Kyungsoo's pushing this a little too far. Is he in the mood for some spice because the crowd's behaving well today?

There's a very valid chance that Chanyeol's not even into anything like this at all. It was already a big surprise to see him enter this place. Being his father's good boy, it makes little sense for him to have experienced spending time in such bars.

And beyond that, Chanyeol might not be into Kyungsoo. Even if the latter definitely cannot deny that he is very enthusiastically into Chanyeol.

He's done enough teasing for one day. Chanyeol might have come here from serious reasons after all, judging from his general pretty serious and low mood. There's no need for Kyungsoo to try so hard only to be dismissed, or to make Chanyeol feel even more uncomfortable than he already is. So Kyungsoo quickly straightened his back and stood up properly, unhinging his elbows from their hold on the counter.

"Should I assign one of the girls to you then? Or will you remain here?"

"No. I just told you I came here for you."

Chanyeol's reply came out pretty sharply. Almost determined. Almost dependent. It left Kyungsoo speechless for a few moments in which they stared at each other in silence.

One part of Kyungsoo wanted to celebrate the hidden message of Chanyeol admitting this. He can only hope it's true, but let him bathe in the imaginative feeling of being wanted by the man he cannot say no to. Chanyeol came there for him, because he wants to be with him. That's a pretty needy thing to say to someone.

But the other part of Kyungsoo, the realistic, down to earth part, knows that Chanyeol's here from a completely different reason. Kyungsoo has been a pillar for Chanyeol to hold on to when his world is slowly drifting away from beneath his feet. And although he really doesn't mind it that much, his excited bar mood cant help but feel a little disappointed.

Not disappointed enough to show though. He's happy Chanyeol's here. It's another step they've advanced in their friendship now that Chanyeol knows where Kyungsoo spends most of his waking hours. It's a public space anybody can come and visit and Kyungsoo appreciates the gesture of wanting to get familiar with him even if the reason behind it might be for a different purpose.

Kyungsoo then caught Minseok's confused and suspicious glances at him in the corner of his eyes. He took a step sideways closer to Minseok's spot on the bar and the two leaned towards each other over it. Kyungsoo didn't really mind the fact that this position made his butt perk out yet again. He's used to having curious eyes prying all over his body from years of experience in this bar. A part of his brain was curious if Chanyeol's looking too.

"Who is that?"

Minseok asked without even gesturing at Chanyeol. It was obvious who he meant.

"A buddy who's having a rough time. Treat him nicely, okay? On me."

The bartender did raise an eyebrow questioning the liability of this request, but eventually gave Kyungsoo a nod of affirmation.

Kyungsoo then stepped back closer beside Chanyeol at the bar and pointed his hand at Minseok who came to their corner with a small smile and a new drink.

"This is Minseok, he'll take care of you. Minseok, this is Chanyeol."

The two exchanged a fairly awkward nod of mutual respect before Minseok placed the new drink in front of Chanyeol, who thanked him with a friendly smile. Kyungsoo then took a step further away from the bar and grabbed his tray again to go on with his job.

"Give me a few minutes and I'll get to you, okay?"

"Sure."

Chanyeol confirmed before downing Minseok's new drink just as fast as the last one.

 

  
For a while longer Kyungsoo continued working as normal. All over the place and between all the customers. It's nice. Today's a pretty decent day when it comes to the visitors and so Kyungsoo's able to let loose a little.

Instead of being direct he kept sending his heart shaped smiles at everyone, laughing, making amusing jokes and silly movements from time to time. A little dorky, a little charming, just a bit adorable, and he walked away from these tables like a champion. With seven napkins on which customers' phone numbers are written, who wouldn't feel on top of the world?

Kyungsoo knows he's got it. He's not ashamed or shy. His job depends on how much people are willing to pay for their stay here. The happier they get, the happier their fingers become in spending all their savings.

There were times in the past he would have actually remembered a few faces and called back in order to meet for a quick exchange of body heat, but today none of the phone owners who were willing to share their numbers fit Kyungsoo's liking. It still feels damn good though.

As he obtained these smiles and gave the people what they asked for, he couldn't help but still keep an eye on Chanyeol.

Still sitting at the corner of the bar on the stool, there are a few girls around him, but it seems he isn't paying any attention to them, and instead chats a little with Minseok before getting more drinks sliding his way.

After a while when Kyungsoo looked to check on him again, he saw Jongin leaning against the bar beside him, smiling his usual impossibly beautiful smile and being genuinely friendly with Chanyeol, who couldn't bring himself to crack a smile, but was friendly enough. Kyungsoo wasn't sure, but he thought he saw Chanyeol's lips say his name. Obviously he wasn't able to hear it from the other side of the place. He shouldn't keep his hopes up. It did seem like the two got along quite well though, because not long after, Chanyeol gave Jongin his device to tap down his number on.

Maybe Jongin is Chanyeol's type, and not Kyungsoo himself. If he's even interested in guys at all. Which would make sense, Jongin is literally everybody's type. Kyungsoo hasn't met a single person who was able to resist Jongin's charms.

It seems Sehun too, was passing near his friend quite a lot. Stopping a few times to exchange short sentences and understanding nods.

Kyungsoo's definitely not jealous that his friends are meeting each other. It's just this itching curiousity to know what they are even talking about that bothers him a little bit.

Long enough had passed, and Kyungsoo noticed Chanyeol yawning once while playing with his empty glass. That's a sign he's taken quite some time. He should tend to Chanyeol.

When standing by the kitchen to wait for an order to be done, Sehun came right his way. So before passing by, Kyungsoo gently tugged to his sleeve and made him stop and turn to him questioning.

"I'm going to take a short break at the back. Take on my tables for a bit?"

Sehun's expression turned back to neutral as he stared at Kyungsoo in silence. Thinking.

"Tips are mine, then."

Kyungsoo felt his skin curl a little bit. He kind of depends on the tips this month considering he has been spending so much time and money on purchasing foods and ingredients in order to cook for Chanyeol, but whatever. What's more important is Chanyeol's present condition. He'll take care of the rest when he gets to it.

"Fine. Thanks kiddo."

He smiled instead, patting Sehun's shoulder warmly with honest gratitude, and quickly placed the tray aside heading to Chanyeol.

His friend looked at him with subtle relief when Kyungsoo made it to him. Without saying a word, Kyungsoo just raised his hand and signaled Chanyeol to follow him. Curling his finger towards himself. Seems his friend was a little taken aback by the undertones of this gesture that Kyungsoo didn't even think of.

But when Kyungsoo turned to walk to the back exit at the end of the hallway next to the kitchen, he knew Chanyeol was following him.

At the moment they made it outside, Kyungsoo inhaled the cold fresh air deeply and fixed his glasses a little.

Light rain is still showering the streets, dancing around in the bar's neon outside lightings and distorting the reflections in the puddles surrounding this exit in the little dark alley.

It's cold. But at least they are safe from the wetness of the rain. Above the exit there's a shade canopy hanging to leave a dry spot during the winter, and a cold spot in the summer. There are tons of cigarette buds on the asphalt floored grey pathway to this exit.

The gentle tapping of the rain on the cover above them, and the numbed down dim music coming from the bar behind them combine together into a pretty peaceful and quiet environment.

 

  
Kyungsoo first stretched his arms upwards and groaned while squinting his eyes tightly. He didn't realize just how exhausted his body was from working all day compared to his still pretty active mind and determination. He will be fine.

Shortly after, he made sure the bottom part of his shirt is still tucked neatly under the belt of his black skinny jeans and apron, and leaned back against the brick wall beside the door. He ran both of his hands through his own hair, rubbing in all direction almost like a miniature scalp massage before carefully brushing it back into place and sighing.

When he finally turned to look at Chanyeol, the other's eyes were already on him. More accurately, on his slim waist at the jean's beltline.

"I'm glad you're here, because I got a little break now."

He spoke first, Chanyeol's eyes quickly turned up to his face.

"Don't lie, I saw you talk with that tall waiter. Sehun? Right?"

Oh wow. He really did watch Kyungsoo the entire time if he saw their little exchange. It was made in the hallways near the kitchen, a spot that can barely be seen from inside the bar itself. Maybe it was just thanks to the fact he sat at the corner. Either way, Kyungsoo didn't expect such an answer, and snickered before moving on to what's important.

"Pffft. Anyway, how are you feeling?"

Assuming Chanyeol really did come here from not so positive reasons, he can only do his best to ease out the negativity, maybe. A calm conversation in this relaxed little spot could do the trick until his shift is over, or until Chanyeol decides to leave.

Chanyeol shrugged and raised his big hand to the side of his neck. Rubbing it with his long fingers while looking down at the wet pavement in front of them in the darkened alley. At least there is a light installed above the door itself so they arent standing in complete darkness.

"Dunno. Sad. Angry."

He's being honest. Kyungsoo's curious of the reason that caused these emotions, but he knows dwelling into these things too much might be more harmful than it is helpful. If Chanyeol would be comfortable enough to share, he would.

Kyungsoo isn't very familiar with talking about such deep subjects. The best he can do is try to distract Chanyeol away from these feelings. Enough so that he will be able to handle another day.

He let out a breath into the cold air. It formed a small cloud of steam in front of him. So for a few seconds he watched it fade away into the little rain drops falling around them.

"Thought getting a drink wouldn't hurt anymore than it already does, too."

Chanyeol then added with a frustrated tone. Seems that Chanyeol himself is tired of feeling so many negative emotions for so long.

"Right, yours are on me, so go wild if you want. I can bring you home at the end of my shift."

Another commitment he'll be responsible for. He didn't even think about what he was saying when he offered it. It came out naturally.

Kyungsoo is able to take care of Chanyeol if he needs to, he had been doing it for quite a while now, but it's fine. He didn't promise anything extreme. Just to take Chanyeol home safely. Which eventually is a very easy task to complete since they live barely a building apart.

With a sigh of discomfort from his own suggestion, Kyungsoo stretched his arms forward again, before slowly sliding against the wall and allowing his knees to bend. He grunted from the feeling of his sore muscles shifting positions, but when he turned to look back up at Chanyeol, he was a little surprised.

Either Chanyeol was actually grateful for Kyungsoo's offer, so much that he was left speechless, or Kyungsoo's grunt sounded like he's secretly fifty years old. The man looked at him pretty intensely.

"You look tired."

Chanyeol stated.

"I am. But it's fine. Gotta keep it up. Tomorrow's another full shift day."

They stare at each other for a while. Kyungsoo can't even guess what might be going through Chanyeol's mind right now, but he thinks he sees a little bit of worry on the crinkles of his lips.

"It's fine, really. I've been doing this for like nine years now. The owner's like an uncle to me, I wouldn't be taking anything I can't handle. I'm flattered by your concern, though."

The muffled music from inside the bar is all he can hear while watching Chanyeol's expression turn into obvious shock.

"The fuck? You started when you were fourteen?

Ah.

Right.

Kyungsoo sometimes forgets that his life isn't exactly the normal conventional story people are used to hearing. He nodded lightly, carelessly. It's not like he has any specific feelings about this subject.

"Why are you so shocked? I gotta support my solitary ass somehow ya know."

He said instead, trying to ease down the sudden stress in the mood that arrived with his agreement. No need to begin explaining his history right now. It's not the place and not the time for anything actually interesting to be told. Lightening the mood is a much better solution for this temporary break.

Chanyeol nodded back at him understandingly. Almost cautiously. And Kyungsoo could clearly see from the wrinkles forming above his eyesbrows that he's trying to imagine what kind of life Kyungsoo must have led if he started working at such a place at the age of fourteen.

Whatever he's imagining must not be good, because his aura is slowly decaying into something darker that's filled with concern and pain.

He really needs to learn to control his emotions a little bit better. Being like this makes him very prone to mental damage. It'll be too easy to take advantage of him that way, especially with his natural given kindness.

"Hey. Stop thinking so loudly. Tell me what you do exactly instead. All I know about your job are the silly bathroom selfies."

Kyungsoo quickly said in a fake scolding way and a childish pout.

He cut Chanyeol's mind spiraling midway. It's better. He needs to make sure to keep Chanyeol's mind off of the serious things. Kyungsoo really doesn't feel like finding him crying in the street again. Not when Chanyeol's sobs would actually cause an emotional reaction inside of Kyungsoo himself.

Now that they are considered actual friends, Chanyeol's well being is a personal matter for Kyungsoo as well. To a certain degree, of course.

 

  
Chanyeol took it better this time.

He looked down at Kyungsoo for a little and actually exposed a small smile before nodding. That's good. Kyungsoo's already doing something decently well if Chanyeol was able to spare a smile at him.

With another sigh, Kyungsoo bent his knees even lower, and hugged around them, squeezing them just a little bit so that he could sit down on his own balanced weight against the wall instead of on the filthy ground itself. He can't affort to dirty his jeans tonight. He'll be needing them for tomorrow.

"I studied business until not long ago. Now I just prepare to take over the company or something."

Oh.

Chanyeol's father and his airline company. That explains why he keeps wearing fancy suits for work every day. Hanging out with the high ranked people of society means he has to be one himself. Or at least, look like one.

Chances are, just like Chanyeol said in their first meeting, that he really doesn't count himself as part of them at all. Alright. There has to be a way to turn this into an interesting subject that doesn't involve any more negativity again.

"Right, you said you end up travelling a lot. It's cool. Is the outer world much different than here?"

Good job Kyungsoo. He encouraged himself, succeeding in curving the conversation into something that must be at least twice as positive as talking about boring studies and work. Plus, Kyungsoo's genuinely curious.

"Yeah it is. For sure. The air itself is different. The sounds, scents... The sky. Have you never been out of South Korea before?"

Chanyeol began explaining, his voice calm and his hands moving as he spoke. That's cute. He kept looking sideways to trigger his memories of the different places he must have visited in the past. Kyungsoo could only stare at him and admire the way his emotions change for the better.

After seeing the special mugs in Chanyeol's apartment more times than once, Kyungsoo knew there must be a lot Chanyeol would have wanted to tell him about all of his travels. That would be nice.

But halfway through Chanyeol's memories he turned to look down at Kyungsoo with yet another concerned expression. Careful and gentle. Did he suddenly come to the realization that being the son of an airline owner gives him a unique privilege?

Not that it's a bad thing.

Kyungsoo just laughed and shrugged.

"Never been out of this damn ugly city before."

Here it comes again. He could see the subtle suppressed sadness on Chanyeol's face, and that is exactly the opposite of what he wanted. How selfless does this man have to be in order to feel sad for someone else's inability to do something?

Well, maybe it's because of their built friendship that makes Chanyeol care for him on a personal level just like it is the other way around, but Kyungsoo's pretty positive Chanyeol would become sad if it was a total stranger saying this as well.

To get rid of this sudden burden of sad again, Kyungsoo just shook his head and smiled up at his friend.

"Don't look at me like this, I'm good. Life's good. I got a roof above my head, a place to work, and I don't need to worry about food."

"Yeah. Sorry."

Chanyeol turned to look away from him and back at the puddles in the alley.

They spend a while longer like this, staring at the rain and talking about things that dont matter to anybody at all but them at this moment. Every word comes with the extra effect of a hot steam blow fading into the cold air.

Kyungsoo's certain he saw a few cats on the opposite edge of the dark alley, trying to walk beneath the trash bins and various structural covers to avoid stepping into any wet spots. For a moment he forgot that his stop here outside of the back door is only temporary, and actually has a time limit.

The song from inside the bar had changed into something a little louder, and it brought back Kyungsoo's memory of his situation. Poor Sehun is stuck inside taking care of twice the amount of tables to allow him to stay out here with Chanyeol.

"Shit, Sehun. Chanyeol, I gotta go back. Feel free to order anything you want since it's on my tab, sorry."

He quickly rose back to a normal standing position and tucked his shirt properly into his pants, hoping that Chanyeol wouldn't be offended from the sudden shift in the calm mood they have finally achieved by talking outside like this.

With an apologetic nod, he gestured for Chanyeol to enter the bar again through the opened back door. The other simply nodded and obliged, walking ahead of him back to the surprisingly empty corner spot on the bar's counter, exactly where he sat before.

Did Minseok keep the spot empty especially for him? That's extremely kind of him, and Kyungsoo definitely owes him for it. It's better for Chanyeol's comfort to stay there until he leaves.

Kyungsoo rushed in to the back room and grabbed his tray, quickly stepping in with the crowd at the tables and spotting Sehun. Without exchanging actual words, he bowed to his friend for the great favour, smiling at the pout he received in return.

Bless Sehun and his precious sense of loyalty to anything he's doing and anybody he cares about.

He took back over his own tables quickly enough, proving the customers it was worth the extra wait now with his intentional provocative bends and hip swings right in their vision. Yes, it's this kind of place. No, Kyungsoo's not bothered by having to do it.

There was a short stressful period of time then, where he focused solely on getting back on track with the mixture of tables and orders, but once it calmed down and he was able to breathe, the first thing he did was glance over at Chanyeol's last seen location.

He's still there, sitting at the corner of the bar and drinking again.

Will Kyungsoo really have to get him all the way back home? Even if Chanyeol will end up drunk, he trusts Minseok to stop him from passing out. Helping Chanyeol walk back is one thing, carrying Chanyeol all the way back would be impossible for his body frame and their size differences.

Kyungsoo doesn't exactly consider himself strong. His most successful technique is to hit the right spots with the right edge. That's all it takes to crumble down even an opponent twice as large as him.

Chanyeol being this big in size outwards, makes Kyungsoo wonder what else might be big in size about him. According to Kyungsoo's previous assessment, if to judge by the size of Chanyeol's feet, he isn't lacking at all.

 

  
Another hour passes by.

It's late. One in the morning. And tonight is the middle of the week, not a weekend.

Slowly people are finally starting to empty the place. A few of the waitresses have already left as well, the music's volume is not much above a simple buzzing in the background, the neon club-like lights are off and the mood is down at last.

To make up for the awfully long break Kyungsoo took earlier, he made sure Sehun and Jongin leave earlier. Together with the last of the customers through the main door.

At some point Sehun managed to sneak a pile of money bills down into Kyungsoo's back pocket. All the tips he said he would be taking himself for covering Kyungsoo's tables were there and probably even more.

But by the time Kyungsoo realized it Sehun was well out of the bar, driving away to drop Jongin at home and get back himself. Bless this kid. Kyungsoo would be a goner without him.

At the bar there are only three people left. Himself, Minseok, and Chanyeol.

While Minseok's tiring end of day job is to clean the bar, rearrange the glasses and fill in the list of what's missing for the next supply delivery, Kyungsoo took over the job of three workers and began cleaning the rest of the place himself.

He watched how carefully Minseok cleaned around Chanyeol's sleeping body on top of the bar. Instead of pushing him off and waking him up, he simply went around him and allowed him to have his nap.

No wonder he fell asleep. Kyungsoo was sure he would leave by now, but he stayed on his own and clearly got bored.

The tables got sprayed and then thoroughly wiped with the proper cleaning products, the chairs swiped away with dry cloth, the floors swiped quickly with a broom and then washed with nice smelling detergent. All excess liquids pushed out of the back door into the sewer system opening, and the trash taken out to the large bins.

It took a little longer to complete all these cleaning tasks since he had to do them alone, so eventually Minseok left as well. Greeting Kyungsoo with a warm goodbye and a teasing good luck while hinting at Chanyeol. That just means Kyungsoo will be the one to close the place tonight. Which is fine really. He ends up doing it pretty often whenever he gets night shifts. He'd rather close at the end, it's way more satisfying than opening this place in the morning.

Now with the interior lights turned off except for the automatic bar lights, no music, no people, and chairs turned over tables, the place looks asleep. What Kyungsoo wished he could be right now.

After untying his apron and hanging it in his little work locker, he changed his clothes back to the large green hoodie he arrived in, and grabbed the umbrella from the bottom of the locker. Wouldn't want to be caught outside without it. He locked the back door and then came beside Chanyeol's sleeping motionless body against the bar.

It took only a few gentle tugs for his friend to wake up. For a moment he looked disoriented, but quickly caught up and followed Kyungsoo out of the bar where he locked the main doors and placed the key in the usual hiding place at the back crack of one of the decorative flower pots at the entrance. Not a very sophisticated spot, but nobody's ever seen it being put there since at this hour the street is always empty.

Luckily, Chanyeol isn't too drunk. He can walk on his own and doesn't even wobble with his steps. Large steps. Kyungsoo was sure he'll have difficulty walking with him, but since the light rain is still very present, the two of them huddled together under Kyungsoo's umbrella on the way back.

Kyungsoo's feet hurt. He's exhausted. But even so, he kept watching over Chanyeol attentively as they walked through the cold empty streets of the night. He looks just as tired as Kyungsoo.

They didn't talk with each other on the way.

They didn't need to. Just being quiet together was bonding enough for the two of them to know their states.

And quickly enough, they arrived at the top of the staircase and into Chanyeol's apartment. Even though uninvited, Kyungsoo stepped in behind his friend, just to make sure he will be able to take care of himself and get to bed safely.

The giant dropped down on his couch lazily while Kyungsoo leaned in and ruffled his hair with encouraging affection. This is their goodbye for the night. Chanyeol already knows that Kyungsoo appreciated the fact that he came to visit him at work. Even if it was quite weird.

He turned around afterwards, planning to go back to his own place and finally finish the long day. Have his few hours to sleep in peace before another long day blinds him awake.

But before he was able to take a single step away from Chanyeol, he felt the other's large hand grab onto his wrist over the sleeve. When he turned back to look at Chanyeol, he seemed to be looking nowhere near Kyungsoo, as if it was his subconscious that sent the commands for his hand to hold Kyungsoo in place without realizing it.

Clearly, Kyungsoo was confused. What might it be that made Chanyeol uncontrollably tag to him and make him stay?

So he turned back around to face his friend, and planted himself beside him on the couch. The large palm over his wrist finally unhinged from the hold and crawled back to Chanyeol's own personal space.

"What is it?"

"I visited his fiance today at the hospital. My friend's."

Chanyeol spoke quietly.

"His condition is slowly becoming managable... But it still hurt to see him like this... Like an open wound."

Oh.

That must be the reason Chanyeol came in and looked so lost and low. Why he was sad and upset when they spoke outside in the alley. Kyungsoo hoped there wouldn't be a need for him to think of any more comforting words, but he isn't going to be selfish about this.

 

  
He appreciates the fact that Chanyeol came there, out of all places, to meet with him, out of all people.

It means Kyungsoo is just that much of an influence in Chanyeol's life that he was the first thing that must have occured in his friend's mind when finishing the hospital visit. Is Kyungsoo the only one aware of Chanyeol's great loss?

"Did you know Yixing?"

Yixing? That must be the name of his friend. How could he possibly know him?

Maybe because they've been spending quite a lot of time together Chanyeol's slightly tipsy thought process convinced him that they were connected for a longer period of time.

"No."

Kyungsoo shook his head.

"He was the best. He was so great."

Chanyeol nodded to himself, and Kyungsoo, although a little surprised from the unexpected upbringing of the subject, hummed to show that he's paying attention, since Chanyeol's tired gaze is locked on something unknown in front of him.

So now is the time he will learn about Chanyeol's loss. The true meaning behind the strong painful sobs he met him through.

"So talented too. He was a musician. Great with a guitar, keyboard, good singer too. Do you know how I met him?"

Chanyeol continued and asked. But he still didn't look at Kyungsoo.

All he can do is sit there and listen. And learn. A part of him is wondering if Chanyeol is actually intentionally talking about this, or if it's the alcohol pouring these words out of him. Kyungsoo hummed in decline to express his answer is a no.

"Years ago, he was performing in the streets in front of quite a crowd! It was great. Just him and his guitar. He sang a really sad song in chinese. I still know it... Monodrama."

Chanyeol's voice started to fill with warmth.

"I remember that day was really shitty, so I went out to get myself some treats to cheer up. That's when I saw him in the street... I left before he finished, but then I found him again in the store. After telling him I enjoyed his show he was so surprised and baffled... Hahaha. What a goof."

Kyungsoo can see the way Chanyeol's eyes glisten with fondness.

"Somehow he made me buy his recent self released album on a disc. It was really good. We met each other more often, and he'd talk about his dreams of becoming a famous solo artist in the future. You know? The innocent dream... He was so ambitious."

This is the most Kyungsoo has ever heard Chanyeol talk, and along with the general crave of knowledge to the rest of the story, Kyungsoo could feel the raw emotions flow through Chanyeol's body. They resonated within Kyungsoo's own heart.

"I must admit, I remember sitting there talking to him and being so damn jealous. Jealous that he had a choice. That he has a dream of his own at all... But then he told me about his poor family in China, and I realized I was a fucking selfish asshole for even thinking that."

Chanyeol's voice is mesmerizing. From the way he speaks Kyungsoo can hear the regret. The giant then let out a small laughter of self hatred. A dry and cold chuckle that had no joy in it.

"Then he introduced me to his boyfriend at the time, who turned into his fiance. And they were so... They were so disgustingly happy. They barely had anything except one another and still... They made me feel like I was at home, with them."

Now there was joy in his tone. Sweetness and longing.

"They worked so well together. Not their jobs, just... Their lives worked well together. Like a professional team of survival. They managed to move to a new place together just as I moved to mine, right before starting the studies and all that."

A very informative sentence. Kyungsoo's actually thankful for Chanyeol actually putting through all the effort and explain everything to him. He can't imagine how tough it must feel.

"It's stupid, but they were like my parents, just better. I spent most of my time studying of course... But they'd always have another meal ready on their table for me if I jumped by after late class."

Gratitude and appreciation. Chanyeol's heart is beating through his words.

"I'd see how Yixing kept working. Composing music until the little hours of the night... The image of his fiance sleeping against his shoulder when he played... It was a small glimpse into heaven in the middle of this hell of life."

He paused.

It was silent for a few long moments. The two of them just breathed in and out weirdly in sync.

"I remember when he came to me and said he wants to marry Baekhyun. It was absurd, they had nothing. he couldn't possibly afford a ring even if he managed to succeed a little more with his music."

Chanyeol's eyes now lowered down to his own naked ring finger. His other hand slowly covered it before he sighed.

"We sat for hours and thought of a solution... Which ended up being a proposition song in the middle of their favorite cafe place one evening. Not even a fancy place, no ring involved."

A smile grew on Chanyeol's lips, and Kyungsoo could feel the tremble of excitement he's going through in his mind. It was definitely a lovely memory, because the warmth had returned.

"Baekhyun cried, Yixing cried, I cried. It was great. We got a free meal and an extra dessert out of it, hahaha."

Chanyeol chuckled again, this time it was an honest little laughter of goodness. Kyungsoo's lips curved into a smile as well, he hummed a small laughter of his own, before Chanyeol's smile had faded away and all hints of joy scattered so far away he doubts they'll be found again.

His heartbeat is now a little quicker, their breathing pattern went out of sync.

"And they were great. Happy, so great. And then,"

 

  
His voice just stopped. It stopped having a sound even though his lips continued moving a little more. Silent words locked in his throat in order to suppress a lump of possible tears making their way up to his head.

It's okay.

Kyungsoo knows the rest now. He knows how this story ends, and can only assumed what kind of continuation it would have.

He hoped Chanyeol could telepathically hear his reassuring thoughts, telling him that it's alright. That his pain is valid, that he doesn't have to hold his feelings bottled inside about this at all, that it's okay to cry, that he's not alone, that there is still tomorrow.

Gently he raised his arm and landed his palm on top of Chanyeol's head. He began stroking over it smoothly, fingertips sliding between the locks of his hair all over his head, removing single stranded hairs away from his forehead and eyes.

"It was good, Chanyeol."

Kyungsoo said thoughtfully, softly. It really was. Chanyeol's memories of his late friend will always remain good, and that is already something to treasure. At least Kyungsoo thinks it is, he doesn't really know what true loss is.

"Yeah."

Chanyeol's choked voice whispered in return. Through the thick layer of hurt and pain and sadness. The strokes continued, Kyungsoo really wouldn't mind staying there all night and stroking Chanyeol's hair if that's what's needed for him to reassemble his soul back together after this.

He didn't cry though. Which was pretty surprising for Kyungsoo. Instead, he brought his hands to his face and rubbed them thoroughly, stretching his skin before sighing heavily.

The intense atmosphere that surrounded them by the end of Chanyeol's explanation slowly faded away together with every one of Chanyeol's exhales.

It was silent for a while, Kyungsoo's hand still not leaving the warmth and softness of his friend's hair.

"Do you want to stay over?"

Finally the dark streak was broken. The giant's head turned only a little bit, just enough for him to be able to look at Kyungsoo without resulting in him removing his hand from its position on his head.

At this point, Kyungsoo's entire body is screaming for him to stay, to stay and to move closer and to embrace Chanyeol's entire broken heart back together so tightly it'll have to heal and stop hurting so much.

It was almost more difficult for Kyungsoot not to cry than it was for Chanyeol himself.

"Can't... I have a full day shift tomorrow. Will you still be alright?"

Obviously, he is worried. He'd feel awful leaving Chanyeol alone at this state, but he can't just ignore his actual responsibilities. Something has to get him through this month, and nobody would do that for him except for himself. So ditching work is not an option.

He would honestly regret it if there's any implication something harmful might happen to Chanyeol.

"Yeah... Yeah. I have work too."

Oh.

Phew.

Kyungsoo finally inhaled some oxygen back into his lungs after this little stressful moment of self doubt, which is something he's completely inexperienced in. Questioning his own liability and priorities. Chanyeol is seriously switching things up in his heart, and it's giving his mind trouble as well.

He slowly pulled his palm back from his friend's hair. Leaving it in quite a messy state before standing up, fixing his glasses, and sliding his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. Chanyeol followed after him to the apartment's door. Once standing outside with his umbrella, Kyungsoo turned to face his friend again.

"Promise you'll be okay? For me?"

Okay, that question came out way too cheesy, even needy, what the hell is going on with him? Kyungsoo wanted to slap himself, but risking exposing his hands to the cold air is not worth it.

Chanyeol's eyes looked directly into his with odd sharpness. Or maybe it's just the exhaustion showing in a new form.

"For you?"

He asked.

"For me."

Kyungsoo confirmed, the regret of saying anything had already passed since now he has to own up to it and show Chanyeol that he really means it. Because he truly does care, he just doesn't know how to put it into proper actions.

So making this tacky embarrassing promise is the most he'll have to go on.

At least it means Chanyeol's well being will be kept safe by Chanyeol himself. Even if this agreement is being done with him. If that's what it takes to keep his friend alright, then he's up.

"Okay, promise."

Chanyeol settled it with the answer and an offered handshake that Kyungsoo accepted with a smile. A warm big hand wrapping around his own small and cold one. He could get used to it. Maybe making a few more promises wouldn't be a bad idea.

He then left, went down the stairs with the umbrella in his hand. Quickly realizing it's not even raining anymore.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

 

  
Some days have passed since Kyungsoo learned the story behind Chanyeol's grief.

He still can't physically feel any sort of grief himself, he isn't the one mourning. But is the one who's worried for mourning Chanyeol.

Yixing wasn't his friend to cry over, but Chanyeol is. And crying with him out in the rain for the first time was one of the weirdest most bonding experiences he's ever been through. Ever since that moment something in Kyungsoo's heart had shifted just a little to the side. A little crack in the cold stone shines light on everything Related to Chanyeol.

It definitely is easier for Kyungsoo now that he's aware. He was subtly worried about what will be alright to say without causing a downfall of emotions for a long time, but now it had passed and his mind automatically sails to proper paths in order to avoid sensitive painful subjects.

They're closer than they've been before. And it's pretty new.

Kyungsoo is not used to being in contact with anybody that isn't connected to the bar in one way or another. His friends are all also his coworkers, his boss is like an uncle to him, the people he's been spending nights with are all customers. He doesn't have the time nor the energy to meddle with others who will not be able to comprehend his lifestyle.

There are less than ten saved contacts on his phone.

His boss and bar owner, Sehun, Junmyeon, Jongin, Minseok, Jongdae and now Chanyeol. Oh, and the bank's number. He would have saved the phone company's number, but he's able to recognize it by now.

Sure, one could argue he's a people's person after seeing him serve at the bar, but after getting to know Kyungsoo it's clear to see that he is simply not interested in barely anybody's affairs except his own.

If to judge by the way he acts, he could easily fool anyone into thinking he's the type of guy that is constantly surrounded by others who adore him. Which is partially true, but not from the good reasons. Being surrounded by people at work is a given, and also comes with a dangerous undertone of possible harassment. He's well aware.

Living in his own small apartment, doing his own little job, cooking his own food, sleeping in his own bed at night, these are already all of Kyungsoo's wishes granted.

Somehow time passes twice as fast at work if his mind is occupied with Chanyeol.

How long has it been dark outside? When did midnight strike?

Customers are already filtering out of the bar before Kyungsoo realizes his shift had ended at all. He'll take it though. Today it's Minseok's turn to close to bar, so after untying his apron, switching back to his normal clothes and greeting his friend goodbye, Kyungsoo went outside.

Only then his body gave him the grim reminder of how exhausted and sore he really is after the quickly passing long day.

Kyungsoo really doesn't mind the cold this much, he can handle it. Wearing more layers isn't a problem at all. If anything it's pretty enjoyable for him to walk around looking like he isn't trying to impress anybody at all, and simply stay warm.

What Kyungsoo does mind, is the rain.

It's been raining almost every single day ever since the night he met Chanyeol. Kyungsoo couldn't have been more thankful to a piece of plastic in his life. His trusty umbrella became his second best friend for so many days now that it's like a third arm. Large, dry, protective arm. Kyungsoo would cook dinner for his umbrella to thank it if he could.

So inconvenient to constantly have to watch out for puddles so he wouldn't stain his pants and shoes. So unnecessary to clean up the floor of the bar thoroughly every day because rude guests can't wipe their wet dirty shoes on the rug at the entrance.

Either way, it's finally the end of another day, and Kyungsoo would love more than anything to let his body sink down into the mattress, down into dreamland beneath his pillow. He's been having pretty good dreams lately. Most times he doesn't remember then, but the rare times he does due to being woken up by his noisy alarm clock, they are pretty pleasant.

 

  
Barely four steps outside of the bar though, his old tired phone began ringing in his pocket.

Oh, it's Chanyeol. That's pretty good timing to call right after his shift ends. Did he know?

"Hello?"

There's only silence. And rain.

Strange. Strange and unsettling. What is going on? Did Chanyeol's phone ring him accidentally? It doesn't sound like there's any movement on the other side of the line though, so he isn't listening to anybody's pockets.

The sound of the rain is prominent. Think, Kyungsoo. What is this?

"Chanyeol? Are you there? Where are you?"

A sudden heavy breath breaks the silence from Chanyeol's side of the line. He's definitely outside somewhere, and it is Chanyeol himself. Kyungsoo has gotten pretty familiar with his friend's voice by now, and even if it's just a huff he could tell it belongs to Chanyeol's deep husky voice.

Rain, heavy breathing, Chanyeol, outside...

Could he have gone to Kyungsoo's place in order to visit him like Kyungsoo said he should do instead of going out to the streets and Kyungsoo disappointed him by not being home? But Chanyeol knew he was at work today.

This is becoming stressful, and Kyungsoo is really doing his best to try and identify exactly where Chanyeol is located from the sounds. But the rain around himself, the tapping on the umbrella and the splash sound of a car passing by the street at the entrance of the bar is all too loud right now.

Another exhale from Chanyeol.

"You have to tell me where you are Chanyeol."

Kyungsoo's voice came out unintentionally serious and coated with honest concern. Well, he has no time to care about how much of his emotions he is giving away right now. Chanyeol might be in danger for all he knows.

His own body is no longer in the range of his thoughts, which became benefitial, since his steps have quickened in pace as he made his way to the direction of one of the two places Chanyeol could be at.

Option one would be his own apartment complex, but from the way Chanyeol's voice hoarsed into the phone there's a chance he will be located somewhere else. The bridge.

The one place Kyungsoo truly wishes he isn't at.

"...Bridge... No..."

What? What is that supposed to mean?

Was Kyungsoo correct and Chanyeol's actually on the bridge he previously planned to jump off of and fall down right into the busy highway? Or does it mean that Chanyeol's not anywhere near the bridge?

Is this a way to reassure Kyungsoo he's alright? Or is it an announcement about proceeding his plans?

Whatever it might mean, Kyungsoo's heart is not beating correctly and his legs are sprinting faster than he thought he could run. His beloved umbrella held forward almost like a knight's shield against the raindrops and to assist with the aerodynamics of the run.

The call hung up, and this means yet another increase in Kyungsoo's heartrate and general stress levels. He must hurry.

He can't be late. There's no way anything happened to Chanyeol.

Is suicide some sort of bad omen? Well, it is bad, no question about that. But if Yixing had ended his life, and now Chanyeol wants to do the same, does it mean in case Chanyeol goes on with it... Kyungsoo will want to do it too?

It is a scary thought, to imagine himself not wanting to live anymore, especially after going through his entire life only thanks to the force that kept making him want to live in order to prove that he can.

But what's scarier at this point is the thought of Kyungsoo continuing to be alive while knowing he had the chance to keep Chanyeol alive as well, and failed.

Puddles are out of his concern at this point. He rushed so quickly through the streets towards the bridge above the highway that even both his shoes soaking wet, and splashes all over the bottom of his clean black jeans wouldn't stop him.

He made it, he's at the bridge.

The vacant, empty, cold bridge.

There's nobody here at all. Which is within itself very eerie already, even for a rainy night like this. But as he stepped over it, huffing and breathing, and looked down at the highway, everything was normal.

It doesn't look like anything had happened here. No remains of anybody jumping down and causing the traffic to stop for hours of investigation like what happened about three years ago with a random girl who did it.

Other than the tapping of the raindrops on top of his umbrella's plastic cover, and the swooshes of the cars driving at full speed beneath the bridge, he can't hear anything.

Okay, that's good. That's great.

So Chanyeol is not anywhere near the bridge. Just to make sure, Kyungsoo walked through the entire length of the path, checking behind every pillar and fence. The place is clear and there is no sign of any tall man spending any time in the area. Only when Kyungsoo began making his way back to the bar so he could turn towards his own place he saw a couple crossing the bridge together, holding their arms around each other under an umbrella smaller than his.

Gross.

Well, it's cute as fuck, but Kyungsoo can't imagine himself ever doing anything like this with another person.

 

  
So he's back around the side streets and alleys on his way back home. He tried to call Chanyeol two more times since the call hung up, but the call didn't reach the other end in both of them.

At least his heart is back to a decent beating speed and although his steps are pretty hurried still, he's able to avoid stepping into big puddles and wetting his feet any further than necessary. He'll have to send these jeans to the laundry again.

Now it's the familiar path that he walks through almost every single day for as long as he can remember. Chanyeol has to be near his apartment complex, right? That's what they've agreed. That instead of Chanyeol going out to the street to cry, he'll be at Kyungsoo's place where its dry, warm, and safe.

There were a bunch of people walking in the streets around him, some hurry to get under covers of stores, some have their own umbrellas. Dressed in working suits, or casual wears, or some fashionable jacket. Kyungsoo couldn't care less about them. It's quiet and luckily none of them smoked so he didn't even have to hold his breath when passing by them on the path.

Here it is.

The infamous corner where Kyungsoo first found Chanyeol sobbing his heart out with the rain. Of course, right now the rain is lighter and doesn't give any aggressive atmosphere of a heartbreak like it did back then.

He remembers exactly how he found him hunched against the wall, hood covering his face. His cries were something Kyungsoo knows now that he never wants to hear again in his life.

Huh, it almost looks like someone's sitting there again. But it's just the shadow of the building falling directly on that corner that makes it look like a man.

A tall... Lean... Hunched man...?

With eyebrows furrowed and a fix of his glasses, Kyungsoo squinted his eyes to focus on the shadow in the corner. He stopped walking and instead turned a step and a half closer to it. Maybe it's just a cat, maybe it's just trash bags, it could be anything. Chanyeol said he wouldn't do it again, so it can't be him. Right?

But the more slow steps he took towards the mysterious shadowy human-like figure, the more his stomach started turning with worry. He would have known it was Chanyeol if he heard the familiar cries, but there was no sound coming from whatever it might be. Just wet silence.

He's pretty close now, mere steps are separating him from whoever this hidden figure might be.

And then he saw it, a familiar curve of a nose peeking from under the hooded face of the man.

"Chanyeol?"

The man's head rose up immediately and the answer was obvious. Without a second to adjust, the man half leaped forward, falling down to his knees in front of Kyungsoo and wrapping his long arms around Kyungsoo's legs tightly. Hugging them with silent desperation.

Oh.

Oh no. Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo's heart began aching again when he realized their position. He's just standing there normally while Chanyeol is clinging to his legs like a life line. He's not crying, but trembling and breathing fast and heavy. What happened to him?

After gulping down his nervousness Kyungsoo finally let out a small sigh of relief to know that his friend is alive, and gently lowered the umbrella over his shoulder in order to pet Chanyeol's hooded head gently.

"Wait a second, let me get to you."

He carefully pushed Chanyeol's body away from his legs, the other silently agreed to let go, and held back patiently as Kyungsoo kneeled down to the ground.

But at the moment they were at the same height Chanyeol grabbed around him and pulled him into his tight hold. Squeezing Kyungsoo's body right into his soaked chest and exhaling shakingly near his ear.

Oh Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo very carefully adjusted the umbrella above the both of them and sighed warmly into his friend's chest. He must be freezing, again. Like every time he found him sitting under the rain. Chanyeol said he wouldn't do it again, and yet here he is. Kyungsoo can't bring himself to be seriously upset about this, because he can feel the unstable emotional aura emitting from Chanyeol, but he's certainly unhappy about it.

The hug did surprise him a little bit, but now when he feels the amount of desperation in the way Chanyeol's large palms tug to the back of his sweater he knows he can't bring this down into some self provided explanations.

It lasts for a while, and Chanyeol's grip starts loosening around the edges of his clothes, so Kyungsoo allows himself to straighten upwards and lean closer, wrapping his own arms around Chanyeol's head to pull the hoodie back down.

Once that's out of the way, he began trailing fingers through the wet locks of his hair, breathing as slowly and calmly as he can manage against the cold air to try and mediate Chanyeol's own stressed state.

"There we go. It's alright now."

He hummed softly after several minutes in which Chanyeol's body started untensing.

They're hugging awfully close, but it feels intimate on a mental level of comfort and stability rather than anything physical. And that's good, because Kyungsoo knows it's what Chanyeol needs right now.

He felt Chanyeol's hand stroke upwards on his back slowly before grabbing onto another piece of cloth there, pulling Kyungsoo's body heat closer against Chanyeol's way colder figure.

"I was going to the bridge,"

A hoarse claim came from near Kyungsoo's ear where Chanyeol's mouth is located. There was nothing romantic about this. Only sadness.

"But then I remembered you found me here."

This is quite surprising to hear.

Was Chanyeol waiting for him there? For how long? Was he there in order to imagine the way Kyungsoo came to help him back then when they met? Did he do it to try and help himself feel better?

Whichever reason it may be, somehow Kyungsoo always comes around at the best timing to pull Chanyeol out of the dark holes he sank into.

"I'm glad you're okay. Thank you for calling me."

He spoke slowly and gently. Calm and quiet, yet warm enough for Chanyeol to hear and understand.

Kyungsoo really is thankful that Chanyeol called him. It's a big step forward. Even if the sort of conversation led to some avoidable stress, Kyungsoo is extremely glad that Chanyeol was able to realize he's in a state of distress and call him.

Let alone the fact that out of everyone else Chanyeol could have called for help, he called Kyungsoo. Actually, he isn't sure exactly how many people associate themselves with Chanyeol in the same friendly manner as him, but it's still a big sign of trust to be called when he knows he's in trouble. Emotional danger is just as deadly as any physical danger. And if Kyungsoo provides a protective shield for Chanyeol against his own mind's torture, he's willing to do his best.

 

  
Chanyeol is so big. He's tall and wide and perfectly fit and firm. And yet, like this between Kyungsoo's arms and wrapped around him, Chanyeol is so small.

There's something terribly innocent about him. Something Kyungsoo had lost long ago. Longer than he can remember. He has such strong passion for life, and yet his pain beats him down into this small pile of wrecked shambles of sadness. Kyungsoo wants to stay like this forever. Or at least until all of the scattered pieces will fold back together and form Chanyeol's soul wholly.

A need to protect what's left of Chanyeol's fire is burning through Kyungsoo's bones. For reasons unknown. But at this point there's no point denying it anymore.

This big boy and his big heart have taken over Kyungsoo.

Do opposites really attract? Is the cliche saying actually true? Is this even attraction that he feels towards Chanyeol?

Something is there, but Kyungsoo isn't sure how to define it at all, seeing he never felt anything like this before towards anybody.

Slowly he can feel the way Chanyeol's body starts warming up against his hold. He's still wet, but at least wherever their clothed bodies are touching it's no longer cold. Soon enough Kyungsoo will try to stand them up and head home. He does have another shift tomorrow and would rather get some hours of sleep before it gets too late to even try.

It's silent for a while except for their own breathing pattern and the rain drumming against Kyungsoo's umbrella that keeps them fairly dry. But he can hear Chanyeol huff again and bury his face into Kyungsoo's shoulder.

"I went to the hospital again. Baekhyun is awake..."

If so, then why is he out here in the cold rain? Aren't these news something to celebrate and be glad about? From what Kyungsoo knows, Yixing's fiance experienced a system failure when finding him. Considering it had happened a few weeks ago, it must mean he's getting better.

"He's unresponsive."

Oh.

"I tried talking to him... He... He didn't even look at me. When I waved my hand in front of his face--- his eyes didn't even follow it."

Oh god.

"He looked like a corpse---....Ugh."

Chanyeol's arms tightened around Kyungsoo's waist once again, but loosened up just as quickly, before sliding down and off of his body. And Kyungsoo got the hint and slowly unhinged himself from around his friend as well.

Carefully sliding backwards and up to stand and offer his hand to Chanyeol.

"Let's go home."

His friend took a hold of his hand and pulled himself up. And with an arm around Chanyeol's tall wide wet shoulders, the two of them walked through the streets.

It's ironic, how just earlier Kyungsoo saw something so similar and told himself he would never agree to participate, and yet he's initiating this exact same thing right now.

Alright. Maybe he wasn't able to stop Chanyeol from going to sit out in the street under the rain, but they've gotten to the point where Chanyeol actually found the courage to call and inform Kyungsoo about his condition, in one way or another. Progress has been made.

And he was able to get Chanyeol back to his own apartment safely.

Feeling like home himself, Kyungsoo fixed them both some tea while Chanyeol showered, and when they sat down to drink it together the atmosphere was already a hundred times lighter. In all honesty, Kyungsoo would have asked to stay around for the night with Chanyeol, just to make sure he's feeling better and doing okay, but morning shifts or full day shifts are going to kick his ass for a few more days so he'll have to bear with it.

They spoke a little bit about Kyungsoo's work. He gave Chanyeol a general description of each of his friends, connecting the personality to the right face and helping Chanyeol find the courage to possibly befriend them as well.

It's only fair, right? Each of his friends has a dream they'd wish to achieve and they are positive, kind and caring people. He doesn't know much about Chanyeol's relationships, but it seems that he's pretty isolated.

Mostly likely not by his own will, but by a long process of restrains in order to keep Chanyeol tied close to his future family oriented duties of taking after his father.

Being held like this on a tight leash doesn't leave much space for freedom.

Another layer of depth has just unraveled itself in front of Kyungsoo. Yixing must have meant more than anything else, freedom, to Chanyeol. Yixing and Baekhyun's free and simple lifestyle must have been like a dream he could never reach and feel for himself. Only get short peeks into through interacting with them.

This heartbreak was as serious has the damage it had caused Chanyeol. Kyungsoo keeps learning.

 

  
Eventually Chanyeol had calmed down entirely, sipping on his tea and even sending a few tired smiles in Kyungsoo's direction as they spoke, until a yawn slipped by and Kyungsoo knew it's time to leave for the sake of both of them and their health.

With a soft grunt resulted from getting back up to his feet after sitting on the soft carpet with Chanyeol, Kyungsoo began walking towards the apartment's door, already picking his folded umbrella beside it without a reminder.

Chanyeol followed behind him and leaned against the opened door while crossing his arms.

"Hey, will you have lunch with me sometime Kyungsoo?"

This question caught him a little off guard, and he had to turn his head back all the way around to look up at Chanyeol and try to decypher the hidden meaning behind the tentative invitation.

"Oh?"

He had to remind himself and repeat in his head how he must not assume that Chanyeol is asking him out on a date, even if it's currenly one of his biggest denied wishes.

There's no way Chanyeol, who hasn't shown a single hint of interest in Kyungsoo beyond their general friendship is actually asking Kyungsoo out in a romantic manner. Either he is awful at being romantic, or Kyungsoo can kiss his hopes goodbye and settle with the pleasing enough option of a generic friendly meet out to eat.

He'll go with the latter. To save himself the burden of hope.

Since when does he even want to go out with Chanyeol this much anyway? Kyungsoo's losing track of himself lately.

"Yeah, sure. Just let me know in advance. Work and all."

He nodded with a smile, shrugging and rolling his eyes in order to relief the little tension that built in his chest from the low chanced option of a real date. Of course it helped lighten his own mood as well.

Chanyeol smiled at him with new sighted warmth.

"Alright."

And Kyungsoo had to remind himself that commitment is too much trouble, but sliding into somebody's pants isn't. So he should stop giving himself any significant interest importance.

 

  
\--

 

  
So they've made it.

Chose a nice surprisingly sunny day to meet.

Originally, Kyungsoo was supposed to be working the day shift until five in the afternoon, but since Chanyeol had asked him enough time ahead for the destined date itself, he was able to bargain the hours with his boss and get a free pass out of the bar at one.

His coworkers were shocked to learn he will be leaving work early today. Not only because he never skipped even a single minute of work all the years he's been there, but because it means something, or some-one in this case, have a great deal of importance in Kyungsoo's list of priorities.

They've teased him only about twenty three times before finally the clock struck one, trying to inquire for a reason or an explanation for his early leave.

Thankfully none of his good friends were there. If Sehun or Jongin were to pester him this much for answers he knows he would have cracked and told them.

But it's not a date. Definitely not a date.

Because Kyungsoo thinks he knows that there's no way Chanyeol would actually ask him out. The dude's probably not interested in him in this manner. Most likely not interested in men at all.

And anyway, Kyungsoo's really not ready for anything like this yet. He's never dated anybody before, never dedicated any of his time and effort to one single person like he has to Chanyeol for a while. He wouldn't be able to keep up if there's any commitment involved. It's too restricting and scary to 'belong' to somebody else.

All the romantic bullshit is not for him. He watched enough movies in his life and spent enough nights with people who showed him none of that affection and gentleness he thought he was craving, to know that even though love might be real for others, it won't be for him.

Kyungsoo can take damn good care of himself. He doesn't need anybody to waste time on him. Friends are great. There's no jailing commitment involved. He gets along well with them, he's willing to do things for them and vice versa? Good, they're now friends and everything's perfect.

So far he has been doing things for Chanyeol left and right. But somehow he doesn't feel bad about it even if he hasn't exactly received anything in return just yet. Not everything in the world is give and take it seems.

Maybe being around Chanyeol opens his heart because he's learning the joy of giving?

Oh god. Why is he being so gross all of a sudden. Yeah, sure, he enjoys spending time with Chanyeol, and today's lunch together might be exactly the chance for Chanyeol to make Kyungsoo feel like he's worth sticking with, but it's not a given.

And Kyungsoo would most likely stick with Chanyeol regardless.

They'll be meeting in one of Chanyeol's favourite places apparently. A place Kyungsoo has never been to before. It's located all the way over in the other side of the city. But that's no trouble for Kyungsoo to cross in order to get there.

He has no car and no tolerance for loaded public transportations. So at the moment he changed back to normal clothes and got out of the bar, he simply began walking. Having worked only a few hours before one in the afternoon means most of his energy and stamina are still very much present in his legs.

So walking was the chosen way of action.

It's been so long since Kyungsoo last came to see the other side of town. He's been living in his own close little world of important nearby locations for years. His work is close, the shopping center is close, Sehun and Jongin live pretty close, now Chanyeol does too. So there's really no need for him to ever walk any further than that.

With the map application on his phone directing him correctly towards his destination, Kyungsoo passed by all the places he's familiar with. Crossing some streets and roads calmly. Even being greeted by few people who passed by and recognized him from the bar. Not that he knew who they were, but keeping up the good reputation is important.

At some point however, after crossing the bridge above the main highway running through the city and cutting it in half almost, Kyungsoo was met with a whole new world.

 

  
Not really, though.

The roads are the same, the pavement doesn't look any different than on the other side of the bridge, the sky is still scattered with clouds in shades of blue and grey, streetlights are still off and the person who walked in front of him on the bridge is still exactly the same.

He moved forward, through streets he hasn't seen at all, or maybe hasn't seen for long enough to forget, following the application on his phone as closely as possible.

Eventually after some time wandering close to a few stores that sell traditional ornaments, souvenirs and decorations that caught his attention, he made it to the right address.

A surprisingly simple looking two story house in the corner of the street. Nothing posh or extravagant.

Upon entering he was hit with a wave of sweet scented warm air, and knew that this place couldn't go wrong. The host greeted him with a welcoming smile and led him into the restaurant and towards one of the tables that stand near the wall.

A table for two. As it should be.

Chanyeol hasn't said anything about ordering a spot, but it seems to be unnecessary for the place is not as crowded as he'd expect in this fine day. He actually had to tell the host he will be needing a table for two.

He's there right on time. Well, a single minute late according to his phone's clock, but that doesn't really count. And since he's there first, he knew he has the advantage of getting to know the place.

According to Chanyeol, it's a place he used to spend a lot of time in. When he was a student he'd come there with his laptop and sit for hours. Kyungsoo was curious if he might have come here with Yixing and Baekhyun in the past as well, but he didn't have the courage to ask and risk the consequences of bringing it up.

Today should be a happy pleasant day, so far it has been at least. And when Chanyeol gets here it surely will surge higher.

Kyungsoo sat back in the comfortable light wooded chair and looked around the place.

Everything is made of light shaded wood pieces. The walls are made of a vertically striped wooden pattern, the floor is like the parket of his own bar's dancing space but lighter. Tables and chairs are all sharp edged at the corners, but the calm jazz music humming from the wall mounted speakers is nice. And the way the yellow tinted lights make the place feel like the sun is shining inside it is pretty.

Even the little tablecloths holding the eating utensils on top of them are designed to match the spirit of the place. Checkered white and red like a picnic blanket.

An easy atmosphere had already taken over Kyungsoo's senses by the time the waitress arrived and handed him the menu. Placing another closed one on the placemat in Chanyeol's supposed empty seat.

For the first thirty minutes of wait, Kyungsoo didn't mind. He'll give Chanyeol the credit for choosing such a wonderful place even if he's late. He's not in a hurry or anything, no work today and only a night shift the day after. It's the perfect timing for such a meet out even if Kyungsoo had to skip a few hours of work and get paid a little less at the end of the month.

He's not a big spender so there's no harm done. Most of his recent purchases were all just the groceries and ingredients he bought in order to cook for Chanyeol.

Normally he cooks for himself as well, but not that many times a week. Most of his meals are at the bar anyway, but otherwise he either orders takeouts or eats at the simple food stands located in the night market near the main street. It saves him time and a lot of possible mess from cooking in his own tiny kitchen unit.

The next thirty minutes Kyungsoo spent playing the matching blocks game on his phone. When the waitress passed by he asked her for a glass of water with a smile, but hasn't yet opened the menu.

Eating outside in an actual restaurant is very different than eating at his own bar or in the food stands. Since he is working as a waiter himself, there's a certain feeling of respect and appreciation for the workers here. Especially his very nice waitress. He knows all of the shenanigans that go behind the scenes in such places, and hopes he could be a proper customer.

Okay, it's true that a whole hour passed since the time in which the two were supposed to meet each other here, but who knows? Maybe Kyungsoo somehow messed up the hour himself and came here too early to begin with, he can't blame anybody for his own missups.

When another half an hour passed, a total of an hour and a half from the time they've chosen, Kyungsoo finally built up the guts to call Chanyeol. But unfortunately, the call didn't even reach him.

Chanyeol is late.

Very late.

Kyungsoo waited two whole hours in the restaurant, sipping on water like a straw connecting him to reality. But he did notice the way the staff kept glancing at him whenever they passed by. He's not doing anything wrong, but the thought of them wondering if he's been shirked by his date is starting to get to him.

Has he been shirked? Did Chanyeol just mess with him? No. He shouldn't think this way about his friend. Something must have come up that's preventing him from coming.

That's life. There's nothing Kyungsoo can do about it except try his best to come out of this situation unscathed.

At the end, Kyungsoo just ordered a nice looking meal for himself and enjoyed it until the very last bite. He thanked his waitress sincerely for her patience and left a generous tip before leaving the place with a blank state of mind.

Should he go home now? Is it over? Will he ever see Chanyeol again?

Not that he'll be at a great loss if the case is so. Holding back and slowly drowning his sprouted emotional attachment to Chanyeol under the surface of reality, Kyungsoo reminds himself that he spent his entire life on his own. He has great friends who will be more than happy to welcome him at any time in any state.

So he shouldn't allow himself to be sad.

And yet, even an hour after he stepped out of the restaurant, he's still sitting down on the bench in the little garden right in front of the restaurant's entrance. And he feels his pocket buzzing.

"Kyungsoo, I'll be there in a second, m---"

Chanyeol's voice says from the other side of the line in the call he had answered. He sounded serious, intense, regretful. He's also breathing extremely heavily, and before Kyungsoo could say anything in return it seems the call ended.

Was Chanyeol's phone out of battery the whole time and it only now turned back on just for the sake of calling him?

Maybe Kyungsoo shouldn't have judged him so fast. But what else was he supposed to be thinking after long hours of an empty wait?

He slid his phone back into the hoodie's pocket and leaned back against the bench, allowing his head to rest backwards so that he looks up at the sky. Grey and cold except for the little peeks of orange sneaking once in a while between the clouds. The sun had already began setting.

Everything is fine, the time was spent wisely. If he wasn't here enjoying the food he would have worked at the bar still, and it's very clear which of these options he'd rather do.

Kyungsoo's used to spending his time alone. He's always alone even when he's hanging out with his friends, because nobody is him. Nobody else is like him either. Being surrounded by people doesn't necessarily mean there's any less loneliness in one's heart.

No, he's just being lame now. It's because he spent so many hours sitting and waiting that he feels this way. He's fine.

 

  
About five minutes from the moment their call had ended, Kyungsoo was still sitting in silence and looking up at the sky changing from yellow to orange to red. All mixed with the darkening clouds threatening to rain down on his unprotected self.

But a certain echo started filling his ears. A quick beat, something slapping against the surface, the ground perhaps.

It got closer and closer, became louder, until Kyungsoo could no longer ignore it, and fixed his sitting position on the bench while looking around, trying to find the source of the weird echo.

It almost sounds like someone is running.

Soon enough, he found what it was.

Chanyeol was running from right around the corner of the street he himself came from earlier today.

Huffing and sweating and looking like a total mess. His tie is loose around his unbuttoned collared shirt, his suit's jacket hanging in his arm and his hair sticking all over the place. It didn't take him more than a second or two to spot Kyungsoo sitting on the bench, and in quick steps made it straight towards him.

Kyungsoo stood up, surprised and at a loss of words from seeing Chanyeol in such a disheveled state. In front of him Chanyeol stopped walking and bowed down, grabbing onto his own knees with his veiny palms and breathing heavily.

"Kyungsoo---..."

He exhaled after a while of worried silence exchanged between the two of them even without making any eye contact. Shortly after he stretched back up to a normal standing position and ran a hand through his hair to pull it away from his face.

After finally locking eyes with Kyungsoo he bit on his lip. An overflowing amount of regret is surrounding them both.

"I'm so sorry, there was---"

"It's fine."

It really is fine.

"I just had to---"

"Chanyeol, it's fine."

Kyungsoo feels pretty awful for even doubting Chanyeol at all. He himself declared him to be a giant with a heart of gold, and yet when he was let down because of reasons Chanyeol wasn't even able to change, all of that goes down to trash?

He should have had more faith. And more patience. He was being unfair, judging him like this, even if it was just a subtle decision within himself, he regrets it just as much as Chanyeol must be regretting this whole event.

Chanyeol continues huffing while looking at him, eyes filled with sadness, and Kyungsoo feels his heart aching from the thought of possibly hurting him because of his own selfish mind.

How did it get to the point where Chanyeol means this much to him?

Kyungsoo stepped forward just a little, and with self conviction, smiled up at his precious friend with warmth and reassurance.

"You were right, the food here is great."

From his pocket he pulled out the extra small package of a wet wipe he received after finishing his meal. Easily he tore it open before pulling out the little cloth and gently wiped Chanyeol's sweaty face with it.

The other closed his eyes and sighed deeply into the cold sensation of the fresh cloth on his skin. In slow motions Kyungsoo cleaned his cheeks, jaw, forehead and nose. Then finished by wiping carefully underneath his eyes.

"So you ate alone?"

Chanyeol asked him airily in the process, and he replied with an approving hum in return.

"Yes, it was nice. I eat outside on my own pretty often, but never in restaurants - so it was cool. Don't worry too much."

A sigh of obvious relief came from the other, although still coated with a thick remain of guilt and regret.

Standing in front of each other like this, Kyungsoo realized that Chanyeol is really way taller than him. He always knew he was huge, but now with his collarbones peeking out of his unbuttoned shirt and the deep puffs of air leaving his mouth, Kyungsoo feels a little overwhelmed.

Chanyeol could probably wrap his body entirely around him and crush him in a hug if only he tried. With his firm arms and wide shoulders, long legs, large hands... Kyungsoo needs to calm.

To clear his head out, he simply sat down on the bench once more and gestured beside him with a small smile. When his friend sat down he gently tapped over his knee in order to comfort him truthfully.

"Are you alright?"

A grunt escaped Chanyeol's lungs when his body finally fell down on the old wood. He raised both his arms to the sides of the back rest and tried to tranquilize his breathing pattern.

Hot. Chanyeol's pretty damn hot.

His cheeks are a little pink and the tip of his ears are too. It's adorable.

"Yes... I just, ran for a while. My phone was dead and... Everything turned late. I came here as soon as the driver let me off."

Kyungsoo's attention was scattered between his words, the way the sweat drops down over his long neck, his adam's apple bobbing with every syllable, or the surprise from the fact that Chanyeol's sweat doesn't even smell bad at all.

At least he now knows he was correct with his assumptions about the phone. He wasn't messed with, not fooled, not toyed. Chanyeol was really unable to change any of what had happened that caused him to be late.

"You think you can make it back?"

He smiled at his slowly calming friend teasingly. Chanyeol turned to him and smiled back defeated. Oh, a dimple formed on his left cheek.

"Give me like five minutes and I'm good to go."

 

  
They walked back together. Sky turning from orange, to red, to purple. Streetlights are the only source of light when they get back to the middle ground between their homes.

Kyungsoo feels a certain disappointement. A lost opportunity maybe. And it seems that even though they're ready to say goodbye and call it a night in hopes for a better meeting next time, neither of them actually step away.

Standing there in silence under the streetlight located in the exact middle of their separating paths, they don't know what to say, or do, or think. At least Kyungsoo doesn't. But it's easy to assume Chanyeol's in the same boat since he keeps fidgeting with the bottom of his loose tie.

"Do you wan---"

"Do you---"

At the same time, the two turned to each other to speak, but stumbled halfway through their words when they realized how absurd and cheesy this situation is.

After staring at each other expetectantly for a while, waiting for the other to speak first, Chanyeol was the first to crack, and huffed out a bit of hot air into the cold street while gesturing at Kyungsoo to begin before him.

"Do you want to hang out for a little anyway? I mean, I might not be the best conversationalist, but it ended up okay last time."

He could see a shine spark up in Chanyeol's eyes before his lips started trembling in an attempt to hide back the smile. Chanyeol clearly doesn't know how to control his emotions, that's for sure.

The taller eventually gave in and nodded, looking towards the direction of his own place.

"The least I could do is offer you something warm to drink, right?"

Kyungsoo was relieved. Even for a short while, it'll be okay. Just to make up for the time they've lost. That's definitely the only reason he feels this pleased with the agreement to the offer. Nothing else.

"What I'm saying is... Yeah. Let's talk."

Chanyeol added, before the two made it up the stairs and into apartment number sixty one.

It doesn't feel any different than at home. To sit like this and sip on some hot tea that Chanyeol has a seemingly never ending amount of, to talk together about simple easy things that don't enter the depths of the heart.

It's comfortable. Like a routine by now.

After speaking about food for a while, and Kyungsoo praising the restaurant's menu and staff, the conversation had turned into a wider definition of food. Which shifted to Chanyeol starting to tell his tales about the different foods he ate around the world.

The world. All of these incredible unknwon places Chanyeol visited, that Kyungsoo barely even knew existed.

Chanyeol talked about the heat he experienced in Australia, how he managed to pet some kangaroos when some rich people brought him and his father on a special zoo tour. He talked about the ancient churches located all around Italy and Spain, and how much he enjoyed hearing the local residents speak the language. Sounds like a song with each sentence spoken.

He praised the way the japanese crowd knows how to behave out in the bustling streets of Tokyo, the different colors and fashions and lights. He said how jealous he was when he visited Africa once and got to meet a naturally preserved tribe and watch some of its old traditions. How colorful and bright their outfits were, their songs and dances, their connection with nature.

Then when sipping on his tea again he was reminded of England and France. Failing miserably at imitating their language's accents, which made Kyungsoo laugh in amusement.

They sat for hours like this, Kyungsoo hearing his stories with fascination, while Chanyeol goes on and on about the unique landscapes, the structural differences in the way their buildings are built, the major switch on the culinary aspect and so on.

By the time Kyungsoo made it back to his own home, he began wondering if maybe he's been missing out on features in life that he wasn't aware of.

But came to the conclusion that he really doesn't need any of this excitement in order to have a good time. Hanging out with his friends, knowing that working hard everyday will grant him a meal everyday and a bed to sleep in, is good enough.

He can take comfort from the fact that he managed to make Chanyeol feel better.

 

  
\--

 

  
Almost ironically, just a few days after the two of them sat down and talked about the world, Chanyeol brought Kyungsoo the news about him having to leave Korea for three days to follow his father at work again.

It's chill. Kyungsoo didn't really have any specific feelings towards that fact.

Supposedly, it shouldn't change anything in the way they interact anyway. Since most of their communication transfers through texts. Pictures, just general simple conversations. They talk every single day.

And Chanyeol being the son of an airline company definitely has some expensive deals for connectivity even outside of Korea. Internet for sure, but also international cellular data for calls. Kyungsoo's not worried about that.

What Kyungsoo's worried about is the fact that his own cellphone broke just an hour after the last text from Chanyeol saying he's boarding the flight.

Great. Perfect. What is he supposed to do now?

He will be able to handle work hours since he already knows his shift times, but how is he supposed to contact Chanyeol and be available for him in case anything bad happens? What if he will feel sad again and try to do anything? What if talking to Kyungsoo would be the only thing stopping him, but Kyungsoo won't be able to be there?

Chanyeol will only be gone for three days. Kyungsoo needs to calm down.

Last time anything like this happened Chanyeol himself was the one to stop it. Calling Kyungsoo, and then staying out in the street to imitate the way Kyungsoo came and helped him on the first night.

It was great progress, and Kyungsoo needs to give him some more credit for it even though he knows he's just a giant walking heart controlled by emotions.

Although it was terribly frustrating to have his phone broken on the first day of Chanyeol being away, Kyungsoo survived it. Work was hard.

To make up for the hours he had passed on in order to go out with Chanyeol for the missed lunch, Kyungsoo took three full day shifts in a row upon himself. Not only to ease out the work for the rest of the employees, but also in order to catch up with the monthly costs of life.

Conveniently, he placed these three days exactly on Chanyeol's absence. Which is perfect.

Chanyeol's arrival back to South Korea would be around an hour before Kyungsoo's last shift ends. Idealy, at that moment Chanyeol would have called Kyungsoo to announce he's made it back safely, but with Kyungsoo's phone down he can just hope that his friend wouldn't take it personally.

By no means is it Kyungsoo's intention to stay away from Chanyeol. After all these weeks, almost month that they've known each other, there's a great attachment involved already. At least from Kyungsoo's side that is, but he's sure the case is the same for Chanyeol. There's still a lot he doesn't yet know about Chanyeol's social life, but from the way they communicate, the frequency of it and from slowly learning bit by bit about him, Kyungsoo can only assume an active social status or any closeness to people doesn't play a part in his activities.

He's already leaned that Chanyeol's main and most likely only link to normal society was through Yixing and Baekhyun. But one is... Gone. And the other is mentally gone for almost an entire month.

Ugh, alright, Kyungsoo sure does miss Chanyeol, but there's no need to make his heart ache this bad by thinking of all these sad occurances. Life continues on even when certain people choose to stop walking their paths. Sometimes some paths are just too painful.

It's not anybody's fault, and Kyungsoo now knows that Chanyeol trusts him when he explains it to him.

They haven't had many of these deeper conversations except for the moments in which Chanyeol had shown too many signs of getting dangerously close to an edge he won't return from. An emotional barrier that Kyungsoo knows if crossed, the consequences would be too great.

 

  
So the first day was bad. His phone broke, he had to liven up the dance floor at night since Jongin wasn't around, and was stepped on at least seven times by pointy heels or dirty soles. Which forced him to wake up even earlier the next day in order to clean his shoes.

That same day he learned that one of the waitresses' brother just discovered he has cancer, and she will be working twice as much in order to help pay for his treatment even though she herself suffers from various medical issues.

The first day without Chanyeol around was cruel.

The second day however, welcomed Kyungsoo with a splash of gathered dirty road water right on his clean jeans and shoes outside the bar's main entrance. He just had to walk past the main road today, even though he always enters from the back door, huh.

When he finally cleaned himself and dressed up for work inside he discovered a customer has been sending Minseok terrifying death threats simply because he refused to serve him any more drinks when he was already dangerously drunk.

So much for literally saving that customer's life from alcohol poisoning or worse.

Minseok of course said it was fine and apparently had already taken the legal actions against the offender. It's not like there's a lot Kyungsoo could do in such a situation, but if he knew who that customer was, he'd make sure to 'accidentally' spill many drink leftovers on him.

That day Sehun had told him that Junmyeon's been down with a cold and is resting at home under their neighbour's watchful care.

It's almost like the world is laughing at the face of everybody who's a good person around Kyungsoo.

The third day though, was a whole new record.

Kyungsoo's mind was a little more at ease in the morning, knowing that Chanyeol was supposed to be back that very same evening, or night, and there wouldn't be a need for his mind to half this constant looming unexplainable fear.

But nothing else was at ease.

Work that day was absolutely awful. From the moment he stepped into the bar. The customers during the day were nasty and cheap, making a mess with their noisy children and giving a tip that stands worlds under the bare minimum, or no tip at all. They were rude and kept shouting at Kyungsoo for making mistakes although none were made.

During his break there was a power outage because of the rain, which made working and serving customers twice as difficult when it came to the technicality of things. Somehow the kitchen managed to succeed, but since there were no machines available for the orders and payments, all hands were called for duty.

So he got no break, and had to calculate orders and prices by himself and hand back the right amount of change to each individual customer. Receiving plenty of profanity in return although the entire block was down.

Things only got worse when the electricity came back and the evening population started streaming into the bar. As if to play a naughty card right in his face, there was an outstanding amount of impatient couples around that night.

Normally couples are actually the customers he has the least trouble serving. But not today.

Today they were all too awful for him to begin to describe. It's bad behaviour, he knows, to judge the customers who pay for his salary at the end of the month. But what other fun do servers like him have in this sort of job?

They were disgusting, one little step before stripping each other and literally doing it right there and then in their seats. Laughing loudly, saying various types of negative slurs directed to innocent groups of people who have done nothing wrong, degrading their own partners to achieve sympathy from other disturbed customers.

Along with this increase, Kyungsoo's most hated group of guys entered the bar fairly early on in the night. About two years ago he slept with the one considered their leader, but avoided contacting him again since because it was simply terrible and painful.

He hates them, but they keep coming and bothering him at work anyway. Giving him disgusting suggestive expressions and gestures, whistling when he passes by with a tray full of drinks, and even just tonight, attempting to touch him inappropriately.

It got a little better when the dancing began, but now instead of keeping an eye out only for himself, Kyungsoo had to watch over all of the other customers in the range of these awful people. More often than not he wonders why they are still allowed to enter this place at all even after his consistant complaints about their behaviour to his boss.

In the end, it's not his choice. It's shit, but he has no say in the matter and therefore the best he can do is survive it and stay safe.

To top it all, as the hours passed by he became gradually more stressed about Chanyeol and his inability to communicate with him.

 

  
Stupid phone.

Stupid harassing customers.

Stupid couples that somehow manage to disgust Kyungsoo but also make him feel jealous at the same time.

He's pissed.

Why does seeing these annoying obnoxious perverted couples in the make make him feel abnormally jealous? Why does seeing them interact make him imagine them as himself and Chanyeol?

Chanyeol is not his to claim as entertainment to dissolve his loneliness in any way, they are friends. Not more. Then why does he feel this weird energy pulling his heart in all directions whenever he thinks about him?

Is it more than just his physical desire to hop on Chanyeol's party and get him all up inside of his own body? Could it be more than just the fact that Kyungsoo's convinced Chanyeol's big feet could only mean Kyungsoo will be satisfied?

It could be just the distance, but Kyungsoo is not that childish. He's an adult now, and he knows that people have various responsibilities that they are not able to forfeit.

Such a frustrating feeling it is to know that he's being so immature and allowing his emotions to run over him and his mind like this. He's simply not used to it. Unfamiliar with the feeling of actually deeply and honestly caring about someone on levels beyond a simple friendship like he has with Jongin and Sehun.

He never experienced anything like this before. This weird emptiness, the loneliness seeping into his heart from what? Three shitty days of exhausting hard work?

Kyungsoo just needs a break. He's too tired and it's starting to get to him.

His shift ended with a blow. The straw that broke the camel's back. Kyungsoo was steps away from the exit, free of the duty to close the place tonight at least, when one of the customers he hates that belongs to the dangerous group of guys, simply wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo's body from behind and held him back.

Gross. He feels like he's about to throw up.

Not only is a customer touching him like this, but while he's wearing his own clothes? The smell and dirt will transfer onto them as well, this is sickening.

Without a second of hesitation Kyungsoo elbowed the man's ribs sharply and sent his foot backwards straight onto the harasser's crotch. The guy let out a shout that got swallowed by the music, and curled backwards in pain. Once the arms were loose enough around him Kyungsoo dashed out of the bar and started running, fixing his glasses lightly before speeding up even more in case he'll be followed.

Fuck this shit. Everything is just so wrong in the last few days.

Kyungsoo truly isn't the one to become so emotionally unbalanced by events happening around him, but this time the constant connectivity to the personal worry about Chanyeol was like an opening for everything else negative to build up on his back and turn into a heavy burden of frustration.

All he wants right now is to know that Chanyeol has made it back safely, and to sleep. He lost all apetite for any sort of ordinary dinner. And tomorrow's yet another day of work he will have to bear through.

Now that he's free at least for a few hours, Kyungsoo began debating whether or not he should go and check if Chanyeol is back. On one hand he knows he'll continue having a terrible mood from the uncertaincy, but on the other hand he's convinced delaying his sleeping would cost him a much more difficult pain to handle later on.

Sometimes it's more important to be resourceful and take care of one's self than it is to continue being paranoid about others.

Would it be better to handle Chanyeol's situation tomorrow? Or should he check if his friend is back?

With a sigh he decided to leave the decision to the very last second. Right now he should just appreciate the cold air clearing his lungs from the sickly scent of alcohol and bad behaviour.

The streets he passes through are empty. Just like every time he walks back home from the bar at night. For a mere moment the thought of getting himself a drink to wind down crosses his mind, but the very next moment the memory of the alcohol's effects flash in his vision and crosses the option off entirely.

There's no way he'll submit himself under the influence of such a sneaky addicting drug. Kyungsoo has seen enough of its damage for one day. He's not a hater, if a friend invited him to drink he wouldn't have declined. Just... Not today. Not when he's this worn out.

At least there's no rain tonight. For once the weather forecast was correct.

The closer he approaches home, the stronger his need to see or hear from Chanyeol grows. What is this stressful turmoil spiraling inside his stomach? It's upsetting, derailing. Never in his life did Kyungsoo feel this much pressure ragarding any other human being.

Is this a state of panic he's experiencing? Is he being paranoid? Too lame for feeling this attached to someone else? Is this attachment even mutual?

Kyungsoo's breathing pattern started losing its stability, although his quick steps remained fairly paced, it became harder to fill his lungs. The back of his head started to tingle with not exactly pain, but a sort of internal burn that went all the way down to his chest and stomach.

He has to get home. He has to see Chanyeol.

 

  
Chanyeol's place it is. Even if it'll take several hours for his friend to arrive. Even if his hands will freeze from the cold temperature prickling icy needles under his skin, he can't do anything else.

The phone is not an option for him to check, so that's the only solution.

Kyungsoo's steps echoed on the pavement until they came to a cease. Silence so loud in his ears that he thought they would explode.

A taxi just parked in front of Chanyeol's building. The engine is still on, so are the lights, beaming at the light fog that's blowing through the streets with the cold wind. He heard a crackle of wetness dripping from some metalic pipe near the building's stairs, and then the taxi's door opened.

Kyungsoo could finally breathe.

Chanyeol's ears poked out from under his beanie above his scarf, he even smiled when thanking the driver who went outside to pull his luggage out of the car's trunk.

Without even realizing, Kyungsoo's legs carried him across the street and right towards his friend. He wasn't even aware he's getting closer to him until the other paid the driver and turned to look at Kyungsoo while waving goodbye at the leaving vehicle.

His legs stopped when he was standing directly in front of Chanyeol on the pavement. The two of them stared at each other in shared surprise. The taller was the first to crack a smile. He looked tired after the long travel, but Kyungsoo really couldn't care less.

"You're back."

His voice came out unintentionally desparate.

"I'm back. Didn't you get my message?"

Chanyeol spoke in a soft deep tone. Oh. Kyungsoo really missed his voice. He's breathing.

It took several seconds for Kyungsoo's mind to register that he was asked a question at all, which was hinted by Chanyeol's curious face. But once he did, he gently fixed the glasses resting on his nose and looked down with subtle guilt.

He knows it's not his fault that his device decided to retire, but it's not about the phone at all. It's about the fact that he wasn't able to be there for Chanyeol even after stating that he would. One thing Kyungsoo cannot stand is meaningless words and promises. He gave Chanyeol his word to be there when needed, but couldn't hold up to it.

He's terrible.

"No. My phone broke."

He couldn't look at the other for a while, but when he did, he noticed Chanyeol was simply staring at him with a really gentle smile. One that gives off the impression that he realized he wasn't being let down by Kyungsoo, but by technology itself.

Or maybe Kyungsoo gets this feeling because he wishes that's what it means.

"I know, Jongin told me."

Huh? So Kyungsoo's been losing his mind all these days while Jongin was the one to stay updated with Chanyeol? He knows they have each other's numbers. He saw the exchange at the bar when Chanyeol came to visit. But still.

He wants to either punch or hug Jongin at this moment. Punch for not saying a word about it, although there was a chance he simply didn't realize it was necessary. And hug him because the fact that Chanyeol had anyone to communicate with is already good enough to relieve Kyungsoo of this bulk of stress stuck in his throat.

"Well, I got you something. Wanna come over for a little bit?"

Chanyeol offered, the lack of sleep very apparent in the way he grabbed onto his luggage's handle, but also from the way his voice slides out. Almost like a yawn.

It doesn't matter. Everything is fine now. Seeing Chanyeol in the flesh in front of him. It's all good. He doesn't need anything more. Whatever he got for Kyungsoo can wait for when the two of them aren't missing at least twenty hours of sleep each.

Chanyeol is alright. Chanyeol is there and alive and breathing and that's all that matters. Kyungsoo can already feel his initial stress deflating away.

"I uh... I have work tomorrow. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Admittedly, his voice came out quite shakier than he had intended. Is he making this too obvious? How lame. Cold hearted Kyungsoo losing his shit and a half over not being able to talk with some dude.

Well, not some dude. With Chanyeol. But the point remains the same. He's embarrassed himself enough, he's had a long tiring day and from the bags under Chanyeol's eyes it's clear has had it too.

It's fine. Everything is fine.

Kyungsoo averted his eyes from his friend and turned over in order to leave and head back home. Other than his own heart beating faster than usual, he can hear his bed singing lullabies already.

But now he's stopped. Chanyeol's large hand grabbed a hold onto his arm, preventing his body from advancing in any direction. The hold is gentle, cautious, but determined. He's still not able to turn to look back at his friend from this boiling embarrassment of hidden emotional overflow.

"Kyungsoo, what's wrong?"

How the hell is he supposed to answer that? Just explain that hey, he's been having terrible days and the thought of Chanyeol possibly being not okay kept him up at night and drove him crazy?

Thank you but no thank you. Kyungsoo's had his fair share of humiliation for one day. So he stayed silent.

"Come, we can fix some tea and relax. You seem upset."

How ridiculous. Chanyeol didn't even need to say more than one word for Kyungsoo to be convinced and give in. He's still completely unaware of what great influece he has over Kyungsoo, and frankly, Kyungsoo is still unaware of what great influece Chanyeol has over him as well.

He started realizing though, when he turned around and began following Chanyeol his the stairs to his apartment, that there has to be something else that causes all of these new feelings inside him.

Helping would have been nice of him to offer to Chanyeol who's carrying his luggage up the stairs, but Kyungsoo knows that his body would most likely collapse if he has to carry anything that weighs more than his own wallet, keys, and broken phone.

But Chanyeol is not struggling at all. He carried it up effortlessly. Is the bag extremely light? Or is Chanyeol just freaking strong? Because the grunts the taxi driver made when pulling it out of the car, and the thud it made when Chanyeol dropped it down on his apartment's floor, made it sound a lot heavier.

 

  
At the moment the tea is in his hands, Kyungsoo already feels a hundred times better. Sitting calmly on the soft carpet while leaning against the bottom of the couch, he can actually relax. Chanyeol's back in the tiny kitchen is a sight he's a lot happier to see than he imagined.

He can see the way his friend's muscles move in order to pick up his own mug carefully, and sit down beside him. But eye contact is still a little difficult for Kyungsoo at the moment, so instead he flexed his toes a few times and stared at the way his socks stretched while sipping on his tea in today's old mug from New Zealand apparently.

They spent a while just talking. A small chat about Chanyeol's experience these days. Which was mostly just him spending time in boring meetings, and then wandering around during the nights to soak in the view, the air and any local foods he stumbled upon.

Bless Jongin again for updating Chanyeol about Kyungsoo's broken phone. Otherwise this conversation could have turned sour really quickly. It would have been too troublesome to explain to sad disappointed Chanyeol why he wasn't able to contact him before.

"Anyway, it's good that you broke your phone."

Chanyeol suddenly said, a subject they haven't even spoken about. Can he read Kyungsoo's mind or something?

A little startled, Kyungsoo placed his nearly empty mug down on the coffee table and sighed.

"No, it isn't. I hate dealing with the phone company..."

Carelessly he pulled out his malfunctioning device and pouted at it with disappointment. At least it made Chanyeol laugh a little. He sighed again while resting it face down on the table as well, and followed Chanyeol with his eyes.

His friend stood up and headed towards his still closed and packed luggage. After sitting it down he unzipped it open and began rummaging through its contents.

After some time his posture became victorious as he took out a small box covered with many layers of bubble wrap all over it. Then he sat back down beside Kyungsoo and handed it to him.

Suspiciously Kyungsoo agreed to take the little package. While sending Chanyeol obvious questioning looks and receiving only small expectant smiles in return, Kyungsoo discarded the bubble wraps which Chanyeol picked up and began popping and playing with like a child, and freed the box.

Now with the last layer of actual classic silver wrapping paper, Kyungsoo was a little more careful and gently unhinged the corners of the sellotape so the silvery shine wouldn't gat harmed.

The box left in his hands, naked of all wraps, is a brand new phone.

Shocked, Kyungsoo turned to Chanyeol.

"What...?"

The giant dropped messing with the bubbles and smiled back at Kyungsoo warmly.

"You're joking, right?"

"Nope. It's for you."

Kyungsoo began turning the box in his hands in disbelief, trying to search for a price tag, or anything that'll show a sign that this thing cannot be his, but there was none. It was brand new, still in the nylon.

A chuckle from his friends and a few moments of still shock later, Chanyeol pulled his own device out of his pocket and placed it on the coffee table in front of Kyungsoo.

"I got the same one for myself when I first got there."

Finally Kyungsoo began opening the box. It's simple and black and shiny. Without saying much, he took out the memory card from his old device and slid it into the new one, then turned it on.

With Chanyeol's little awed noises beside him, he applied the screen protector skillfully for both his and Chanyeol's phones, and when waiting for his gift to update he looked at Chanyeol.

His eyes were shining with satisfaction and joy from seeing Kyungsoo enjoy his gift this much.

"...Thank you. Chanyeol. I can't believe you got this for me..."

Kyungsoo finally spoke, nodding his head in a small grateful bow at his friend sincerely. This is going to save him so much time, trouble, and money.

Honestly it would have been good enough to just have Chanyeol back and inform him of the reason they couldn't communicate, but this? This is surely a good sign. He feels overwhelmed from the kindness.

Most of the people surrounding Kyungsoo in his life don't even know when his birthday is. He's the last person to care about materiliastic objects, and yet. Chanyeol really hit the bull's eye with this.

"After I got mine I remembered you had some issues with yours as well, so don't mention it."

 

  
Kyungsoo was still shocked for quite a while, but after everything loaded properly in his new phone, he tugged gently to Chanyeol's sleeve for the rest of the night. When the two of them went through the new settings and options on the device and appropriated it for his use and comfort.

Chanyeol's really great at these things, and the amount of gratitude in Kyungsoo's heart is dripping all over and around him. It's a combination of relief from seeing Chanyeol, happiness from the new phone and the general positive energy flowing between them after missing each other for these few days. Not that Kyungsoo's willing to admit it out loud, but deep down it's okay to say he missed Chanyeol.

Only when everything was set did Kyungsoo realize his arm was wrapped in Chanyeol's the entire time, and he quickly pulled himself up to his feet and prepared to leave with his heart thumping in his chest.

"You're crazy... But thank you, Chanyeol. Really."

He said with a smile, looking up at his friend at the door of the apartment. Chanyeol's hand somehow made its way over to Kyungsoo's head, and he gently rubbed through his hair with an even warmer smile.

"Good night Kyungsoo. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Yeah. We will."

And so Kyungsoo left the place and got back home.

At the moment he hit the sheets after the long well deserved hot shower, his new phone beeped with a new sound to announce a new message.

It came from Chanyeol.

Tapping on the message opened up a picture the other had sent him. In the picture, Chanyeol's smiling at the camera while holding the box of Kyungsoo's new phone, filled with the details, charger, cables and so on that came with it.

How come Kyungsoo always forgets something in Chanyeol's place when he visits?

But tonight it's alright.

Tonight he just laughed at the goofy smile his friend made in the picture, and fell asleep with his new device still held in his hands.

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

(NSFW warning.)

 

 

Exactly three days before the mark of the one month passing since the two of them met, they decide to do something special together. Not necessarily to celebrate that, but just because they want to.

The last invite outside didn't work out as planned, and Chanyeol's been a little more cautious about making any plans when he's unsure about how his work will go.

So it was mostly up to Kyungsoo to decide and think of what they will be doing. Clearly, Chanyeol has never truly gotten the chance to experience a proper youth. Burdened by the heavy load of his father's expectations and standards, even having friends was a difficult task to maintain.

Let alone keeping connections, but going outside. Doing really anything that he actually wished he'd do at the time was impossible, from what Kyungsoo had learned about him. So Kyungsoo wants to allow Chanyeol the freedom he never had.

What better way to be free than to go out for a proper party night?

Well, according to Kyungsoo, the best way to be free is to rest at home with a book or a movie. But these options seem to have been the only things Chanyeol was able to do in his life, ever. So Kyungsoo wants to let him taste a little bit of the sweet sweet nectar of the nightlife.

And in order for that to happen, they both made sure they'll be free for the night and the morning afterwards. Along with a few other arrangements on the side that Chanyeol didn't really need to know of just yet.

Chanyeol was the first one to get ready, and came to Kyungsoo's little apartment to wait for him to be prepared as well.

It was late in the evening already.

Luckily, he arrived right after Kyungsoo finished his shower, so there was no need for him to wait outside in the cold for long. Only long enough so that Kyungsoo will pull up his jeans and hug the towel around himself to open the door for him with at least a little modesty.

Chanyeol stood at the door and stared at him half naked with the towel being the only cover of his upper body, for a long time. Eyes slightly wider than normal. Well, Kyungsoo's flattered from his obvious shock from Kyungsoo beauty, but the cold wind blowing right at his topless skin is not pleasant.

As he closed the door behind Chanyeol and went back into his own room to change, he debated whether or not it was his lack of clear vision because he had no glasses on that made him imagine Chanyeol's cheeks were painted pink.

Wearing his loved wine red oversized sweater that he tucked neatly to the high waisted band of his jeans, and with his glasses on, he went back to the living room. Spotting Chanyeol sitting quietly on the couch with a small cloud of nervous anticipation surrounding him. There were no remains of any pink on his cheeks, so he might have been imagining it before.

After picking up another layer of a black coat to top the sweater above his skin, the two of them went on their way to the special location.

It was an especially cold night, but the sky was clear and no remnants of any rain could be seen in the horizon. Neither of them spoke, so the only thing that Kyungsoo could hear was their hot breaths hitting the freezing air, the echo of their shoes on the pavement, and the ever so light movement of the fabrics of their clothes in the friction of walking.

Although subtly, Kyungsoo did manage to glance at Chanyeol a few times in their path. He's dressed nicely, maybe even too nice. Every piece comes from a high named brand or another. Frayed black jeans with a couple of intentional holes, simple grey shirt with a print of some fashionable design, and a flashy jacket in the colors of black and neon blue. Even his hair is pulled back in the shape of a comma with a little bit of gel.

It's cute. How much effort he put into this one outing.

But at the same time it's dangerously hot. He looks so freaking good and Kyungsoo has to force himself to look away from his friend more often than not so he wouldn't get caught.

He does feel a little lame, wearing simple high waisted jeans folded at the ankles and his sweater. But not enough to feel disencouraged. Kyungsoo knows he looks damn fine wearing this combination of clothes even if they are cheap and unbranded. Plus the best part about them is that he'll be comfortable enough to dance in them too.

 

  
What a surprise. They stood in front of Kyungsoo's working bar.

The neon lights outside the bar are flickering playfully above the entrance, announcing the chaos that is to come when entering. Muffled music from the inside is already slowly getting to Kyungsoo's head and easing him into the usual mood.

He's not working now, he came as any other customer to spend some time at this bar with his friend. It makes things a lot easier with his privileges as a loved worker by the entire staff of course. He already took care of that as well.

But today he's here to show Chanyeol a new feature he might have missed about life. He came to visit the bar before, but with a heavy heart and a negative aura. Now with their moods being relatively positive and the buzzing anticipation Kyungsoo can sense is coming from Chanyeol, it's definitely going to be a lot better.

With an exchange of small smiles between the two of them they stepped into the bar together. It was filled to the brim as per usual, even a little more crowded than that for a weekday actually, but neither of them were bothered.

Kyungsoo took both of their coats into safekeeping in one of the back rooms for employees and returned shortly after. Fairly easily they paved a path to one of the empty tables at the corner close to the bar, and once spotted by Minseok, he and Kyungsoo waved at each other cheerfully.

"Right, so we're here. I've actually talked with everyone earlier and let them know that I'll be coming. So feel free to load up whichever drinks you want."

He explained to his friend reassuringly, and Chanyeol chuckled and leaned back in his seat while looking around at the bar and the slowly gathering mass of people at the center in order to dance.

"So much for an authentic night out."

"Hey, it's easier this way. Not that you've got trouble paying, I know, but it saves time."

Kyungsoo added about his remark and gently pet his arm a few times before one of the waitresses came to their table with a pleasant smile.

For a while, the two of them just sat there and drank up slowly. Chanyeol was struggling with the variety of drinking choices, so Kyungsoo ordered for them both what he thought would be right. Even though he knew Minseok would make his own changes to fit it perfectly.

They kept looking at the place, at the people, the lights and the staff walking around confidently.

Actually today was a great decision to come here, because as the night matures, it seems that none of Kyungsoo's hated customers made it to the bar. Which means he wont be met with suspicious expressions or possible upsetting encounters.

The two of them didn't even notice when Jongin snuck up to their table and stood in front of their view with a wide grin and a tray in his hand.

"Like what you see?"

Chanyeol chuckled lightly when Jongin brought the tray closer to their table and unloaded their drinks onto it before picking their empty glasses.

"Actually, yeah. None of the jerks aren't here today."

Kyungsoo hummed with satisfaction and Jongin gave him a thumb up with a wink.

"Yup! Say, would you want me to start the dancing soon? People are willing."

Jongin exclaimed cheerfully, turning his body half towards the wobbling crowd in the dancing space. His T-shirt's short sleeves pulled up above his shoulder in order to expose more of his flawless biceps.

Kyungsoo could see how Chanyeol's staring at them with a weird combination of awe and jealousy. Or maybe with arrogance? He wouldn't be surprised if under his blue jacket and shirt lie muscles for days with his tall and wide figure. If to judge by Sehun's features that is.

Actually, all of Kyungsoo's closest friends except Minseok and Junmyeon are tall, wide, and muscular. Is this some sort of torture from the doubted powers above sent to him in the form of his friends fitting right into his favourite type? Or maybe that's the reason they became his friends to begin with.

Before getting too disgusted with himself, Kyungsoo nodded at Jongin with a small encouraging smile.

"Bring it up dude. I feel like moving today, and I feel like a pal of ours could use some beats."

He said with a sneaky tone and glanced over at Chanyeol who seemed to be clueless about what they're even talking about for a little while.

Jongin ran a hand through his hair confidently before hurrying to the kitchen. A moment later the music turned twice as loud, the lights twice as dark, and the colorful party lights started swirling around the center zone of the bar.

A few people even cheered with excitement for the beginning of the actual meat of the night.

Still sitting at their table, Kyungsoo kept his eyes on his guest. At first he just curiously looked around at the people who started dancing a little more passionately than the lame swaying of before, but rather than beeing intrigued, his eyebrows tightened together as if he's giving the whole situation some serious examination.

Why is he taking this so seriously? This is finally the time for Chanyeol to let loose of his constant restrictions and prohibitions.

Kyungsoo just rolled his eyes and stood up from their table, grabbing his tall drink glass in one hand and placing himself in front of Chanyeol.

"I don't know what about you, but this music makes me wanna dance."

He said directly to him, trying to urge him to cooperate with the process of unchaining his soul from the grey decaying of responsibilities. For once, after all the pain Chanyeol's been through in the last month, Kyungsoo truly wishes he could ease up.

 

  
Without really waiting for a reaction from his friend, Kyungsoo turned around and stepped closer to the dancing area. Jongin was already there too, right at the middle of all the people, dancing powerfully with his precise and perfect control of every part of his body.

The way he swings with the beat, closes his eyes, allows the rhythm to simply flow through the tips of his fingers and through his whole body is seriously mesmerizing. Another final sip from his drink, and another sway of the hips, and Kyungsoo managed the slither his way into the dancing circle as well.

With the flashing colorful lights, the loud music drumming in his ears and the need to express out his tensions and frustrations Kyungsoo really allowed himself to float around with the rest. Just like Jongin, with his eyes closed, he let the music lead his movements.

Losing the sensation of time passing is a given.

The soft buzz of alcohol keeps his self concious thoughts far enough for Kyungsoo to not care about anything anymore.

He danced with Jongin for a little while, right in the middle, the guests cheering and joining the two of them with awe and excitement before the atmosphere was loose enough to spread over the entire bar.

Kyungsoo let go of Jongin's hand with a smile and went over to Minseok, who handed him another glass of a watered down sweet concoction. He fixed his glasses gently while resting back against the counter and staring at the rest of the guests. Unsurprised to find that Chanyeol is still sitting at their table.

Is he being self conscious? Was the alcohol not enough to help him wind down?

"Hey, are you alright?"

Kyungsoo popped back to check on his friend. Chanyeol looked at him a little startled before fixing a few strands of hair around his sideburns and sighing.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just... Don't worry, you looked happy dancing."

Okay, so he's definitely struggling to battle against his own continuously drilled proper high society mannerisms. This is not how it should go. Kyungsoo wanted the two of them to go out like this, in the safe environment he knows, where they'll be safe and watched over by his friends, exactly for the sake of helping Chanyeol release all these stressed back urges.

This simply won't do. More alcohol probably won't change much, he doesn't want to make the guy sick. Maybe a little push would help though.

Kyungsoo scanned the dancing floor through his glasses for a while, lightly tucking his sweater tighter into the high band of his jeans to keep his style intact. Aha. That could work.

"Of course I'm happy dancing, it's fun. Listen, here nobody cares how good you are. Jongin is no example. He's literally studying to become a dancing teacher."

Kyungsoo explained as a matter of fact and tapped Chanyeol's shoulder.

"How about these girls over there? I think I saw them giving you some eyes for a while."

He suggested instead, pointing his friend's vision towards the pair of girls who are dressed quite provotactively but seem to be swaying shyly to the music together. When they notice Kyungsoo and Chanyeol's attention on them they began giggling and huddling closer together.

If that's not a sign of approval than Kyungsoo doesn't know what is.

But when he turned to look back at Chanyeol, he looked nervous. Aww, is he shy? Could it be that Chanyeol never experienced what's it like to spend time closely with other people? Well, Kyungsoo knows he's never really been active in clubs or bars before, but has he never got intimate with anyone before?

A part of Kyungsoo wants to tease him for it just to pull out some more emabrrassing expressions of him. But he's not cruel enough. Instead he tapped his friend's shoulder again and started heading back to the dancing floor.

"I won't force you, but you should give it a chance, you know?"

A moment later, his mind went blank again, beaming with colors and rhythms and beats that flow through him with the music. A short fiesty lady wearing a tight vest and sneakers started giving him some looks before approaching him. With great pleasure Kyungsoo agreed to dance with her.

Not what he expected, but good enough. The two of them just kept swinging in front of each other to the music, doing the robot or just jumping with their arms up, it was fun. No touching involved, a friendly experience.

The second person to eye Kyungsoo was quite an older looking man, wearing what seems to be his work clothes with a suit and tie, but boy was he drunk. It was hilarious actually, because the man took the center of the floor beside Kyungsoo and Jongin, and made everyone laugh with his heart gestures and flawless shoulder shimmies.

Touching wasn't involved either, except for the random bumps of their hips together between laughters.

The third one however was a little more interesting. A foreign man dressed with what looks like branded clothes approached him, and somehow managed to grab a new drink from a passing waitress before handing it to Kyungsoo with a smile.

He said something into Kyungsoo's ear in a language he couldn't understand, but after a short pause of confusion the beat had changed, and Kyungsoo downed down the drink before sliding in to dance some more.

It was pretty easy paced, nothing too exciting or tiring just yet. The night is only halfway through and Kyungsoo knew he's saving the majority of his energy to eventually pull Chanyeol to dance as well.

 

  
Except, by the time he was done with the foreigner and looked at the table they had before, he saw a different pair of people sitting there instead. With a huff, a step sideways towards the bar and a fix of his glasses, he looked around again.

Jongin returned to waitering a few of the more rowdy tables, Sehun was elsewhere speeding through the easier bunch, Minseok busy behind the bar, but where was Chanyeol?

It took him a minute, but he spotted the giant's ears sticking out from the other side of the dancing zone. His head lightly bopping to the music.

Quite easily he crossed some people and stood right beside him with a small smile. There was a fair distance between the row where they stand with a few other swaying people and the middle crazy dancing visitors.

"Hey, nice of you to come here. What's up? Not dancing?"

Kyungsoo stretched up and stood on the tip of his toes, gently pressing his hands on Chanyeol's shoulders to hold himself higher so he could hear him. Chanyeol cracked a sad half of smile and shook his head.

"What happened with the girls?"

Chanyeol simply leaned slightly lower and pointed his finger in front of Kyungsoo's face to direct his attention to one of the bar's more manned corners, where he spotted the two of them making out pretty shamelessly against a filled cheering table.

It's not that shocking, Kyungsoo just laughed from the hilarity of the situation before turning to look back up at his friend.

"Nobody invited you to dance yet?"

Another shake of the head, and Chanyeol leaned down to talk and be heard above the music.

"Nah. When you're tall like me nobody asks you to dance."

Oh? Is he speaking from experience? Kyungsoo wouldn't have guessed. The most experience Chanyeol must have gotten that's somewhat close to this club-like environment was his prom dance party at the end of highschool.

For some reason the event of younger lanky Chanyeol awkwardly slow dancing with his random girl date at prom night is way too vivid in Kyungsoo's imagination, so he quickly pushed it aside.

A few seconds of realization later, Kyungsoo turned to look directly in Chanyeol's curious eyes. He smiled gently and offered his hand out.

"Would you dance with me, then?"

Chanyeol looked at him truly surprised for a moment, but then his eyes shrunk down into happy crescents of a smile that seemed very obviously shy. He let out an awkward high pitched laughter before placing his much larger hand in Kyungsoo's smaller one. Kyungsoo didn't waste a moment, and pulled him with a grin right to the center of the dancers.

Naturally it was a little wonky at first, Chanyeol was too nervous and under the stress mismatched which hand should go where and which leg should move to what beat. It was funny and adorable how he hunched himself down and avoided looking around him while trying his best.

But Kyungsoo hasn't let go of his hand even for a moment, and with his own jumpy and happy dancing, slowly the flow started reaching Chanyeol's limbs as well.

Finally, it turned into fun. Pure unfiltered fun.

The two of them with their hands linked together just kept dancing and jumping around with wide smiles and excess energy. Chanyeol's grip on Kyungsoo's palm remained just as strong even when it was obvious he was finally letting loose of the barriers.

His hips began moving, a little stiff from the general lack of dancing experience, but hell, Kyungsoo really didn't care. Chanyeol was having fun, he was laughing and smiling at Kyungsoo with almost childish excitement, glimpses of his toothy grin kept shining through all the colorful flashes of lights.

Somehow, it felt like time really stood by for the entire world except for the two of them. There was no stress, no burden, no chains of reality holding either of them down to the hard cold ground. They were floating, soaring along with the bass of the music that kept beating through their hearts in unison.

The longer they stayed there, dancing between all of the people, their bodies shoved close together as the excitement rises, the hotter their temperature rose as well.

The hotter they got, the more sweat gathered on their foreheads and backs.

The more sweaty they became, the dirtier their dancing style has become.

 

  
It got to the point where Kyungsoo didn't even care that the back side of his sweater was swaying out his tucked jeans, where Chanyeol's jacket was unzipped all the way open and down to his shoulders.

Turning from fun into some seriously close skinship.

Kyungsoo isn't even sure when he began grinding against Chanyeol's groin so confidently, or when his friend's hands made their way to his hips while slowly thrusting against him.

It's like he couldn't get enough, his hold on Kyungsoo was tight and firm, needy, demanding, and Kyungsoo seriously couldn't complain. When he was younger he used to dance this intimately more often, but he hasn't done it in several years now. Until now. Until Chanyeol's touch feels like point blank fire against his skin.

He was sliding himself closer and closer at his friend's body, straightening his back and rubbing againt his chest while swaying his hips from side to side directly over his crotch. An arm up in the air and his eyes nearly shut with the heated huffs of effort.

Filled with confidence and determination were his movements, but at the same time he was losing his shit whenever he glanced up at Chanyeol and saw the way his neck stretched above him. The way the sweat slides down the sharp corners of his jaw, the way his veins pop out and pump with the music.

The intense serious expression on his face, his furrowed eyebrows, his parted heavy breathing lips and slicing gaze back down at him.

Chanyeol's having a great time, there's strength and joy in his eyes. There's even more strength in his arms, and in the way he tightens them around Kyungsoo's body from behind and squeezes against his back, causing the two of them to slide together while breathing deeply and heavily right over Kyungsoo's ear.

Kyungsoo bit down on his lower lip and stretched his arms back, wrapping them over Chanyeol's neck and pushing his butt even further against his dance partner's hips. Even beyond the loud bass based music he could hear the deep groan escape from his mouth due to their close position.

It was hot. So hot and sweaty, and yet Kyungsoo could feel Chanyeol's long curious fingers slowly sliding over the sweater down his stomach, and sneaking their way under the waist line of Kyungsoo's jeans at the front.

Fuck. His bare fingers simply touched the lower part of Kyungsoo's stomach, but the shiver that sprung right up his spine was so sharp that he was sure a zap of electricity sparked between them when it happened.

He isn't sure how, but somehow they're turned now, in a daze Chanyeol grabbed onto his arm a little roughly and pulled him towards the toilets. One plus to this place, the toilets are pretty massive, and there's never a long queue to enter.

Today, there was no need to wait in line at all.

Chanyeol's large steps were fast, and Kyungsoo's feet were almost dragged over the floor behind him from the speed.

The giant shoved the two of them into the last corner cell and locked the door. Not a second later he wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo's body again and pulled him closely against his body. The muffled yet loud music in the background was enough to mask their breaths until they calmed down a little.

Slowly, the arms around Kyungsoo's body loosened, and when finally freed, he looked up at his friend.

This is both adorable and hilarious. Kyungsoo was convinced Chanyeol would jump on the opportunity to make something sweet out of the situation, but instead he's just standing there, all hot and bothered, and staring at Kyungsoo with helpless shyness.

That's good enough for Kyungsoo. He's been curious for as long as he remembers about whether or not the rumour about people with big feet is true.

Specifically, if the rumour is true about Chanyeol. A quick glance down to his crotch could be a hint to the answer, but Kyungsoo wouldn't let any clothes stay in the way of his very important research.

 

  
He's been waiting to get into Chanyeol's pants for a while, and now with the rush and the buzz of alcohol and music in his ears is his chance.

Slowly he eyed Chanyeol's entire body from head to toe. Then he took off his glasses and folded them carefully before sliding them into the pocket of Chanyeol's jacket.

"Have you ever done it before?"

He asked in a suggestive tone, pressing against Chanyeol's body in order to sit him down on the top of the toilet seat inside the cell. Knowing hands started sliding over his friend's thighs and crotch, rubbing with utmost attention.

Chanyeol let out a huff of defeat and allowed himself to sit down, legs lightly spread into the classic man-sit while leaning back against the toilet tank attached to the wall.

Kyungsoo lowered himself down on the knees and started to unbutton the jeans with held back enthusiasm. Oh boy. He's pretty excited to taste Chanyeol. From the very beginning he couldn't ignore the fact that the man fits right into his fairly small list of attractive attributes.

"My last ex... She was pretty good at it."

With half an ear out to hear Chanyeol's response, he raised his eyes to glance at him, while at the same time sliding his cheek and chin against the massive package hidden under Chanyeol's red boxers.

"Oh? Is that a challenge?"

He hummed with an even more suggestive undertone, watching how Chanyeol's eyes start sharpening down at him the longer he spends teasing the groin with his face.

"Take it as you may... Take it all."

Chanyeol grinned, and Kyungsoo's heart skipped a beat when his eyes automatically averted from the cause. So now he's getting all cocky, huh? Literally.

With both hands Kyungsoo pulled down the rubber sticking Chanyeol's boxers to his skin. A pleasant surprise popped right out of the tight space and stood large and tall right in front of Kyungsoo's very satisfied face.

Incredible. The rumour is true.

Almost hungrily he grabbed tightly onto the base of Chanyeol's shaft and began jerking slowly, his mouth already tightening around the head and licking enthusiastically. Amazing, it tastes of cleaniness and laundry detergent. Slightly bitter, maybe a little salty, but Kyungsoo has no problem with the flavor.

For a while he worked his way into containing more of the length into his mouth, bobbing his head up and down while covering his friend with more hot saliva and fulfilled desires. He breathed through his nose and didn't allow even a tad of cold air to hit any piece of exposed skin. It's big, it's hot, it's everything Kyungsoo imagined it'd be and more, and although he feels the tip pushing lightly against the spot that activates his gag reflex everytime he pushes down, it doesn't stop him.

Several minutes passed and Kyungsoo's hunger only grew when he felt the way Chanyeol's dick hardened in his mouth with every slow lick of the slit and bob of his head, so much so that he almost forgot to check whether his friend is even enjoying the show at all.

He raised his face just a little, lips still wrapped tight around the tip and tongue still licking slow wet circles around the head. Some leftover saliva is sticking to the corners of his mouth, some of it dripping slowly down to his chin, and it's so dirty and so freaking hot.

Even with his very slightly blurred vision without the glasses, he could see the deep red flush on Chanyeol's cheeks and ears, the way his chest keeps rising up and down with the heavy breaths, the way he grips tightly to the toilet cover below him, and the way his eyes shine from the pleasure.

With a wet pop sound Kyungsoo finally opened his mouth and allowed the wet load of saliva mixed with precum covered dick fall up against Chanyeol's lower stomach. Even if his shirt is only very lightly raised up, he can see the chisled muscles and the pumping of his veins around the hipbones.

Fuck. Chanyeol's hot. Chanyeol is hot and his dick is huge and Kyungsoo wants to gobble him up like the feast he truly is.

With a hot breath and a lick of his own plump lips, Kyungsoo lowered back down and now grabbed onto his friend's length with both palms. And it was still not enough to cover it all. Okay, Kyungsoo's hands are pretty small, but hot damn.

The moment he slid his mouth back around the girth of his friend together with his palms, he could finally hear a reaction. A small gasp. Right. So that's the way to go. He wants to make this the best experience Chanyeol has had in his life. He wants to make him feel good.

He knows he can win this challenge against a stupid ex.

 

  
Kyungsoo allowed his mouth to gather even more saliva before diving deeper and nearly choking with each descend on his friend. He heard a whimper come from above, and felt Chanyeol's hesitating palm gently touch the back of his head.

Finally, he's doing it right. He can feel it. He can feel the trembles of pleasure reaching from the dick in his mouth and to every corner of Chanyeol's body. Fuck, he feels so powerful having such control of a giant like Chanyeol.

"Fuck, Kyungsoo--- Goddamnit---..."

Oh yes, some curses are definitely the result of a successful blowjob. Little does Chanyeol know, it's not over just yet.

In quick paced movements, Kyungsoo rose higher on his knees, gripped his hands tighter around Chanyeol's base, and began bobbing his head up and down twice as fast, along with twisting and jerking his palms in the same motion.

"Guh--!!"

Chanyeol's sudden grunt was hoarse and raspy, so damn satisfying. Kyungsoo started humming soft quiet moans and breathing some hot air against Chanyeol's dick in his mouth along with the double speed of activity.

Causing the other to buck his hips forward into his throat uncontrollably. Kyungsoo winced and coughed wetly over the heat in his mouth from the unexpected push into his throat, but knew this won't be the end if to judge by the tight grip Chanyeol gave the back of his head.

He took a large breath in before pushing his head as low as possible, suppressing his reflexes while swirling his tongue around.

A louder groan from Chanyeol echoed in his ears before he felt his big hand push and pull on his head, while at the same time having Chanyeol's hips thrust into his mouth as well. Oh god, this is seriously the best mouth fuck he's ever experienced. He let's Chanyeol take over for a little bit like this, more saliva and other bodily liquids keep flying from the corners of his plump lips over his cheeks and chin.

Until he feels the giant trembling in his mouth and ready for release.

He pushes Chanyeol's hips back down forcefully and pulls his head back against Chanyeol's hand, only to wrap both his hands around the girth and start jerking extremely fast and hard. Wet enough from all the previous work, he isn't worried about friction.

"H-Holy shit---... Gh--- Fuck, yes!"

Chanyeol announces in such a deep voice that Kyungsoo feels his own heart dropping with it. He looks up at his friend huffing furiously and shaking above him while biting on his own lip tightly.

"Mmmyeah..."

Kyungsoo replies slowly while sticking his lips around Chanyeol's reddned head. That's it, the moment of truth.

He squeezes stronger than before onto the jerks of his friend's dick, and continuously licks over the slit until the moment he feels the hot liquid squirt all over the inside of his mouth and tongue.

It lasts several seconds in which Kyungsoo jerks Chanyeol extremely hard and sucks on the head, almost slurping and sucking it all out of him until the very last drop.

Now it's quieter.

Kyungsoo shut his filled mouth tightly and allowed Chanyeol's slowly limping dick to fall back down on his lower belly. When he looked up at him, the guy looked dazed. Eyes closed and breathing pattern faster than Kyungsoo's own heartbeat. A success is what he calls it.

He isn't particularly fond of the mixture of flavors in his mouth, so without much of a hasstle he tore a few pieces of toilet paper from the holder and spat everthing out into it before folding it and throwing in the bin. Then he plucked a few more and cleaned his cheeks, chin and lips up as well. A little bit still remained in his mouth, so there isn't anything else to do other than let it naturally slide down his throat.

With two hands holding onto Chanyeol's thighs, Kyungsoo lifted himself up to his feet, wiped his knees clean even though the toilet's floor is always fairly treated. He then carefully dressed Chanyeol's crotch back to normal, and didn't even notice the way he was being watched until the very last button was done with.

 

  
There's no shame in being sexually active with people after all. Kyungsoo isn't shy about it. He always makes sure it's done on the safe side of things. Intimate interactions like these are the closest he has ever gotten to people in his life.

He never once was worried about declining those who'd suggest to harm him in the process. But he trusts Chanyeol. A goodie shoes like him wouldn't even imagine causing any harm to anybody.

Kyungsoo hates commitment, but blowing someone doesn't mean they're going to get married. He holds no responsibility for anything.

He hoped that this would be a pretty good addition to the whole 'wild and free' night of action he wanted to let Chanyeol experience.

What he defintiely didn't expect was the hungry look in Chanyeol's eyes when he stood up from the toilet and wrapped himself around Kyungsoo's body again. Huh? Was it not enough? Not only does this surprise Kyungsoo, since he didn't expect Chanyeol to have such high libido, but also because it means he will have to decline doing more.

He's got nothing personal against Chanyeol, of course, but he's not going to have penetrative sex with someone who hasn't been checked for STDs. Or at least if he doesn't know whether he's clean or not.

"Chanyeol... I'm glad you liked it but---"

Kyungsoo's voice lost its essence when he felt Chanyeol's large palm rub pretty hard between his legs.

"Have you ever done it before?"

Chanyeol asked airily with his deep husky voice right into Kyungsoo's ear. Tingles started spreading all through his body at this point.

His back got pushed against the back side of the cell's door, and Chanyeol's lips started trailing a slow path of heat going down from Kyungsoo's ear and onto the corner of his jaw. Then lower down his neck and his peeking collarbones.

Chanyeol really wasn't holding back, his one big palm already unbuttoned and unzipped Kyungsoo's jeans open and down, before teasingly trailing the tips of his fingers over his underwear covered length. His other hand pulled the jeans a little lower and cupped around Kyungsoo's entire ass cheek effortlessly.

Everything about Chanyeol is just so impossibly big. His height, width, feet, dick, palms... Heart... Impulse.

He's filled with a boost of confidence and leftover arousal.

Kyungsoo suddenly felt oddly shy.

"I... Actually haven't."

It's true. Kyungsoo's never gotten a handjob before. And there's no chance he's going to pass on the opportunity to get one from Chanyeol's massive grabbers.

Other than that, Kyungsoo isn't sure if it's the excitement from what's to come getting to him or if his heart is beating this unnaturally fast from a different reason. Is he anticipating the action? Or is he anticipating the man who'll be giving it to him?

Right after answering, he could hear Chanyeol's light snicker beside his ear, and without a second to waste, Chanyeol pressed harder against him, pushing at the locked cell door and cornering Kyungsoo into a mess of heated limbs under his friend's closeness.

Hot breaths kept hitting against his neck when Chanyeol's hand pulled his underwear down and his fingers started shamelessly fiddle with the most sensitive spots over his dick's head. One finger sliding slowly over his slit while the other two are rubbing the connection of the head to the rest of the length, causing an almost automatic raise in arousal spreading all over Kyungsoo's body.

"Oh shit--.."

He mumbled into Chanyeol's shoulder before hot lips started pecking all over his neck, sneaky tongue sometimes leaving a lick or two over the kissed spot. That together with his asscheek getting massaged, Chanyeol's leg between his thighs, and his big hand slowly wrapping around Kyungsoo's girth, enabled a moan to leave his throat.

Kyungsoo shut his eyes and allowed his body to be the only sense he feels. Other than hearing the muffled music and Chanyeol's wet lips pampering his ears, neck and jaw with quick yet warm little kisses.

It feels good. It only just began and it already feels so damn good. Kyungsoo knows he had already been turned on himself from giving Chanyeol the suck of his life, but holy shit does it feel good to be given this much heat and affection.

He never knew it can feel this good, he never knew Chanyeol could make his knees weak with such gentle touches. Nothing is forceful, nothing is harsh. The way his fingers and lips slide over Kyungsoo's skin feels soft and fond.

 

  
As this proceeded, Kyungsoo kept humming out soft moans of pure pleasure against Chanyeol's cheeks and neck. He felt everything.

He felt how in slow movements Chanyeol's finger massaged his asshole to the point of being able to slide in and push on all the strings that trigger Kyungsoo's nerve edges. He felt like he's getting closer and closer to heaven with every thrust of Chanyeol's big hot hand over his dick, already wet and dripping precum on the floor beneath them, he was huffing out on his friend.

Immersed in the sensation of all of these feelings combined together, Kyungsoo's hands tightened around Chanyeol's back even more to signal the final stage.

"Mmmh.. You like that don't you...?"

Chanyeol said in a low suggestive deep tone right against his neck, making Kyungsoo's entire body shudder before pushing his long thick and wet finger further up Kyungsoo's ass.

"...Fuck---...Yes..."

Kyungsoo moaned back, desperate for the final relief of this impossibly arousing build up that leaves his knees shaking and his toes curled inside his shoes.

Chanyeol raised his head lightly from Kyungsoo's neck, and agonizingly slow leaned closer again, pecking over Kyungsoo's hot lips once, twice, five times, before licking them open and pushing an intense passionate kiss right into his mouth. He bit on Kyungsoo's lips while pumping his finger into him and jerking his dick hard and hot.

Kyungsoo's lungs felt like they're about to explode when he had to turn his face away from his makeout with Chanyeol just in order to whimper helplessly, shudder and curl into Chanyeol's hold while splurting his load all over the floor of the toilet and over Chanyeol's hand.

But Chanyeol was merciless. He attached his mouth to Kyungsoo's again and shut his noisy orgasming moans down with a passionate sloppy kiss that lasted for much longer than the time it took for Kyungsoo to finish releasing what's left.

Although he was already done Chanyeol continued pumping him for a little longer, pushing his long finger just a tad deeper to hit the spot that set Kyungsoo's body into a state of a limping noodle from the intensity of the pleasuring sensation running from his core and to the tips of his fingers and toes.

After the heavy shake of sensual gratification and a damn good orgasm, Kyungsoo wrapped his arms over Chanyeol's neck and head, keeping him close and tight as their makeout session continued for longer than he was able to measure.

He remembers messing the back of Chanyeol's hair, he remembers feeling both of Chanyeol's arms hug around his body in a tight and protective way that made him feel like the world might not be such a terrible place.

He remembers getting outside of the bar and being hit with the cold fierce air. He remembers very vaguely entering his apartment.

But if anyone would ask him for details, he can't recall much.

Kyungsoo doesn't know how he made it back home, but when he woke up the next morning he was tucked in bed all proper and warm. Even dressed in his own pajama clothes. His glasses resting on the bedside cabinet just like every normal morning.

And when he checked his phone with a light headache of a hangover, there were several messages from a few of his friends.

[ From: Sehun  
He's literally the nicest one you've gotten so far.  
Will it be the same as always after? ]

Huh? Is he talking about Chanyeol? Does he know what they did at all?

[ From: Jongin  
Dude  
I'm impressed  
He's your type as well  
What a catch ]

Jongin too? What else? His boss as well? What exactly did his dazed mind miss after Chanyeol got him off in the stall?

[ From: Sad Chanyeol  
Thank you Kyungsoo  
I've had fun  
I'll see you soon. ]

A single thump of his heart from the image of Chanyeol's piercing eyes gazing at him last night was enough to set his memory back in motion, and his pulse into double speed.

Shit.

They've really done these things last night. And then Chanyeol helped him all the way back home and put him to bed. This man's heart is really bigger than his own sense of survival.

Kyungsoo could feel his cheeks heating up when he rolled over to the other side of the bed nervously. He's screwed.

 

  
\--

 

  
"I... Uhm. I like you Kyungsoo."

Well, yeah, of course Chanyeol likes him. They wouldn't be friends otherwise, right? It only makes sense. Kyungsoo clearly likes Chanyeol just as much.

They've known for each other for an entire month now.

A very long, emotionally draining month. Chanyeol's definitely been through a lot. Little droplets of sadness from his great loss are still trickling out in his aura whenever he thinks Kyungsoo isn't looking at him.

Although this could be considered a short time to determine the nature of a connection between two people, it seems for them things have naturally fallen into place already. Their conversations about literally any subject are flowing without burden.

At times it would be Kyungsoo bringing up something, usually related to food or music, and other times it'd be Chanyeol bringing up another subject, usually games or traveling. And it works. They're just fine. Texting each other on daily basis and meeting at each other's places pretty often for some tea and comfortable warmth.

"Yeah, I do too Chanyeol."

Chanyeol slid his hand into his own pocket and fiddled for a little bit before pulling out a small object hidden behind his large fingers.

He looks a little uneasy, maybe nervous or even shy, when bringing his palm closer to Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo, with a raised eyebrow of suspicion, held out both his hands open to allow Chanyeol to drop whatever object might be between his fingers on them. His friend took a long breath before finally releasing his fingers and letting it fall down.

It was a small apartment key.

Huh? Is that an extra key to Chanyeol's apartment? Wow, Kyungsoo wouldn't have thought that they are already at this stage. Are they close enough for Chanyeol to trust him enough and give him a key to his home? Or maybe it's Chanyeol's way to make Kyungsoo feel more reassured about taking care of him himself? After all that's happened since they met.

"No I... I really like you Kyungsoo."

Oh.

Okay.

That puts things into a whole other perspective.

Kyungsoo raised his face to look up at his friend, the two of them are sitting in Kyungsoo's apartment. It's a pretty calm afternoon. Extremely cold outside, but Kyungsoo's apartment is always a lot warmer than the outer world thanks to the old lady that lives beneath him who keeps her heating system on at all times during the winter.

So in his hand rests a key to Chanyeol's apartment. But also the key to Chanyeol's heart, it seems.

Has he just... Been confessed to?

It's a little difficult for him to comprehend considering he has never been told he was actually liked by anyone in his life before, not with such earnesty.

But eventually it registered. Chanyeol likes him. He LIKES likes him.

Could it be because of the intimacy they've exchanged in the bar's bathroom stall? Or because of the amount of time they've spent together in the past month? Has Chanyeol become more attached to Kyungsoo than he realized?

He finds it hard to believe that someone could actually like him this much after just a month of knowing him. In fact, Chanyeol barely knows him at all. Or does he? Chanyeol knows where he lives, how he lives, where he works, kind of why he works there, he knows his friends, he knows what makes Kyungsoo laugh, he knows how he sounds when he moans and how big his dick is.

Actually, that's quite a-freaking-lot for a single month. But is everything he's seen Kyungsoo's true self? Because chances are that Chanyeol's getting fooled just because of his odd attachment and sense of responsibility towards him.

If they would have met under any other circumstance, would Kyungsoo still be this fussed up over everything Chanyeol does? And on that aspect, does he even know Chanyeol well enough to determine whether or not the liking is mutual?

He knows where he lives right now, how he lives, he knows what foods he likes and which video games he's looking forward to. He knows some bits of his past, and the nature of his relationship with his father. He knows that his dick is dangerous and that he looks hot with his hair styled, but he's never been told anything about Chanyeol's work actual whereabouts. Maybe it's classified. Can he trust Chanyeol as much as Chanyeol trusts him?

Kyungsoo curled his fingers back on the key in his palm and brought it closer to his face, examining it behind the glasses for a second before slowly placing it on the coffee table beside his phone. All while avoiding eye contact with Chanyeol.

He could sense the anticipation and nervous trembles of Chanyeol's body after the confession. Kyungsoo is being so horrible and cruel right now. Taking his slow time to even exhale any air out of his lungs after the realization of Chanyeol's feelings towards him.

 

  
No, it can't be right.

No one can fall in love in a month.

Kyungsoo lived his life and will continue living his life with the hope that love is real, but one month is not long enough to fall just yet.

What a hypocrite is he being. Saying that Chanyeol's feelings couldn't be real just because he is too afraid to aknowledge the fact that his heart is beating at the same notion. A part of him knows. A part of him realized that his odd feeling of being responsibile for Chanyeol's well being sprouted from that exact same feeling he was just told Chanyeol has for him.

But he's not convinced. There's no way. It's too fast, and Kyungsoo's not ready to give himself to anybody.

Chanyeol isn't lacking at all. Actually he stands up to every single one of Kyungsoo's expectations regarding every aspect of life at this point, but it can't be this simple. This easy. It just doesn't feel right.

His friend is everything that can be considered his type on the physical level, and everything that can be considered attractive even on the personal level of personality traits and features. A heart made of gold packaged in a body made of Kyungsoo's wettest dreams, and yet Kyungsoo cannot believe it is real.

The only reason he can think of for Chanyeol to imagine that he has feelings for Kyungsoo is because of the manner in which they met.

Kyungsoo was his savior, showed him the light, gave him hope and kept him safe. His heart must be connecting this thrill to Kyungsoo automatically, and therefore ignoring all of Kyungsoo's flaws and imperfections that made him unapproachable to others.

Now he feels a little confused actually, a little out of balance.

Has he actually shown his honest true heart to Chanyeol? Or is his cold heart still hidden behind the many barriers of self protection that make him act the way he does to exactly everybody else other than Chanyeol?

Which is his true self?

For now, Kyungsoo will have to stick with what he knows. He cannot be swayed this easily.

"I am sorry, Chanyeol. But I can't. Uh... I can't right now."

Is that alright? Was he gentle enough? The last thing he wants is to hurt Chanyeol's bare heart after being so brave and coming out with his emotions like this.

Warily he raised his face just a little to his friend, to see what kind of reaction he would have to being turned down. He could see something very small and distant crumble down in Chanyeol's eyes, but right behind that fallen tower of pain stands a new shine of hope.

That... Went surprisingly smooth.

Chanyeol's aura hasn't changed, if anything it only grew a tad more powerful than a moment ago. Okay, so he succeeded in turning Chanyeol down without hurting him. That's already great relief.

Not now doesn't mean never.

It just means that Kyungsoo is not prepared for this sort of commitment. It's true that if he would have thought about anybody to be close with it'd be Chanyeol, even before their outing in the bar, even when they were still new in the connection and spoke way less with each other, but not now.

He's not ready.

Chanyeol seems to have understood that sort of vibe really well, which saved the both of them a lot of pain and emotional burden.

"Thank you though, Chanyeol."

Kyungsoo added quietly after, gently placing his hand on his friend's knee in a comforting manner and smiling at him apologetically, but with warmth.

And Chanyeol was fine. He looked back directly in Kyungsoo's eyes and nodded with courage and barevery. Accepting the answer and probably thinking how he would have to prove himself to Kyungsoo before being let in his heart.

Which is understable. But Kyungsoo didn't set this decline as a challenge, for now he'd rather have them just be them. Just grow on each other so the feeling will come to him naturally as well. If it will.

Deep down he knows it already has, but he's too scared to show weakness. To be exploited and used. He has to be careful with something as fragile as his heart made of ice, if dropped it will shatter.

 

  
After a few minutes of an atmosphere filled with a mix of awkwardness and relief, everything turned back to normal. Their conversation continued without a bump and the shrimp flavoured snack they were chewing on was just as delicious.

A while later when the sky began reddening with the sunset it was time for them to separate. Chanyeol remained in his house while Kyungsoo changed and got ready for work, then walked out to the main street to see him off before the two waved goodbye at each other and went their own ways. Kyungsoo to work, and Chanyeol back to his own home.

He was sure he would have felt a lot more burdened after what happened before with Chanyeol, but Kyungsoo was able to focus at work without any emotional restraints or anxiety regarding Chanyeol's state.

Something about the hopeful way Chanyeol reacted to the whole situation was really reassuring.

Through his shift he exchanged a few texts with Chanyeol as well, which was another source of relief to help him ease through the rest of the hard work at the bustling bar.

When back home that night, Kyungsoo packed Chanyeol's apartment key in an envelope and placed it in his underwear's drawer. He'll remember it's there. For now it just doesn't feel right to have this sort of advantage on his friend. It's unfair for Chanyeol that he'll be able to enter whenever he wants while Chanyeol will be restricted to only hours that Kyungsoo spends at home.

Now they are equals. Back at square one. Or so he made himself believe.

 

  
\--

 

  
Life continues on.

Everything was exactly the same as it always has been for a few days.

The weekend is here, and even though it means absolutely nothing regarding Kyungsoo's job schedule, there's still this feeling of relief knowing that another tiring week had passed and time keeps moving on.

Actually, Kyungsoo often prefers working full shifts during the weekends for the higher pay rate during these days. But this weekend he decided to give his spot to the waitress whose brother is in need for more funds for the treatment against cancer. It's only the right thing to do.

Although it means his coworker friend would be tired during the weekend, she will work and get more money for the work she already does anyway. He doesn't mind that much. It's been really long since he actually had a whole weekend free for himself. It's a simple friday, but it feels like he won some sort of prize to enable his freedom.

He spoke about it with Chanyeol at the moment he decided to switch his shift with his colleage during his lunchbreak.

Chanyeol sounded happy yet distant, distracted. He was in a car, probably hurrying to do some more work, because Kyungsoo could easily sense the subtle stress in his voice. So he didn't pry much. Instead, the two threw out in the air that maybe they'll meet again tonight in Chanyeol's place because he has a lot of leftovers he doesn't want to throw away.

So now at the end of Kyungsoo's shift, he thought it'd be best to go over to Chanyeol's place and help him out. Oh, he's sacrificing so much in order to eat the good food located in his friend's bridge. Kyungsoo joked to himself while pulling his phone out to announce his arrival.

[ To: Chanyeol  
Omw to your place  
That ok? ]

He tapped and sent out, sliding his brand new perfectly functioning phone into the pocket and keeping his hand there as well. It's cold, very cold. Kyungsoo had to leave his house with a puffy coat and a thick scarf in the morning in order to not freeze on his way there. At least it doesn't rain that much anymore.

The clouds are too heavy and dark even when the sky above is fairly bright, sneaking a few peeks of orange between the cracks of grey. Right. Kyungsoo's day shifts usually end with the sunset during the winter.

It takes about twenty minutes for Kyungsoo to walk from his apartment to the bar, which means it took him about twenty three minutes to get to Chanyeol's building from the bar. That's a pretty long time to not get an answer from Chanyeol to his text. Is it still okay for Kyungsoo to come over even without being given the affirmation?

Usually Chanyeol answers anything he sends within fifteen minutes or less, same goes vice versa, but today it seems like Chanyeol hasn't even read the text yet. But he has a new device that surely works, the text was sent, he was supposed to be available and free from any work related responsibilities at this hour already.

Maybe he just fell asleep or something. Kyungsoo feels just a tiny little bit of regret for not connecting Chanyeol's apartment key to his own.

While climbing up the stairs towards studio number sixty one Kyungsoo wondered if he'll have to awkwardly wait in front of the door again. Just like he did back then when getting groceries with Sehun in order to cook for Chanyeol and make sure he eats even through the painful mourning period.

Well, whatever. Surely Chanyeol must have just fallen asleep or placed the phone far from him to not hear the message was sent.

Except, when Kyungsoo finally reached the top of the staircase and stood in front of the door, he noticed something was a little off. It looks almost like something was dragged towards the door and into the house.

Maybe Chanyeol went to shop himself? He would have leaned his ear to listen if anything's going on inside, but that would be a little too creepy.

Kyungsoo turned his hand into a fist and pressed it against the door in order to knock, but at the moment he touched the door it swayed back a little. The door was unlocked... Unlocked and actually open. What? In this cold? There's no way this is intentional.

He tied his eyebrows together and in silent slow steps made it into the little corridor at the entrance of the place. Maybe he should have pressed his ear to the door and listened, because now without the loud blow of the wind he can hear Chanyeol's muffled voice combined with a shower stream coming from behind the closed toilet door.

It sounds almost like Chanyeol is talking to a child. Or a baby. Or maybe a small animal of some sort.

 

  
Kyungsoo shut the main door behind him so the cold air would stop seeping in and very quietly opened the toilet's door instead. Hot air and steam hit his face right away, but when that faded from his vision, he saw something he truly would have never expected.

Chanyeol was nearly naked, wearing only a pair of black underwear, and sitting on a low plastic stool in front of the bathtub. Inside the filled bath sat another man. Bubbles and soap float on the surface of the water and on top of his head. While one of Chanyeol's hands are holding the shower head and carefully adjusting it over the back of the person sitting in the tub, his other hand his gently scrubbing the dude's chest with some more soap.

He speaks softly and with a gentle tone, even though Kyungsoo can see from his profile that his expression is filled with nothing but effort and sadness. Maybe even pain.

For a long while Kyungsoo couldn't really process any of this. All he did was watch the scene roll in front of his wide eyes in confusion. But a few moments later it seems some of the apartment's inner colder air started filling the toilet room as well, because Chanyeol suddenly turned his head to the door and noticed him.

There was a pause, Chanyeol's entire body froze motionless. As motionless as the dude sitting in the tub and staring at the wall in front of him.

"Hey-- Uh, your door was open. I'll wait here."

Kyungsoo hurried to break the silence, bowing his head lightly to his friend.

The giant looked at him surprised for a little while, but after hearing Kyungsoo's words he simply nodded and turned back around, back to the serious expression he had. Before closing the door he could see Chanyeol gently cupping the man's chin and raising his head up while washing the remains of shampoo from his hair.

What on earth is going on?

There isn't even a way to describe the way Kyungsoo's feeling right now. His head is filled with so many questions that he can't even point where the question marks should be placed.

He spent a minute dazed in front of the bathroom's door, but quickly made it to the living space instead. Where he found a pile of Chanyeol's large clothes on the floor, and another pile of smaller looking clothes beside it, a little more ordered.

From first glance it looks like normal clothes, but after staring at it for a little while Kyungsoo realized the smaller pile doesn't contain clothes, its made of a hospital gown, socks, and one of Chanyeol's pajama sweaters.

A hospital gown...?

Still trying to piece everything together, Kyungsoo went into action. He folded the piles properly on the sofa and turned on the heater attached to the wall. It would be a pretty drastic and unhealthy temperature jump if Chanyeol and the mysterious man will leave the toilet after the near-sauna state it's at.

Then he took off his own coat and scarf and placed them aside. His mind still can't exactly wrap around what he just saw, but now he heard that the stream of water had stopped and Chanyeol's soft way of speaking continued to echo out of the toilet. He can't do much except wait.

His guts are slowly twisting, but it's not jealousy he's feeling. He doesn't mind it that much. If Chanyeol decides to go with other people it's none of his personal concern since mere days ago he turned him down, and it's not like there's anything serious going between the two of them for him to feel like he's being betrayed. It must just be the hunger. He did come to Chanyeol's place for the two of them to share a meal together after all. That was the plan, at least.

 

  
The bathroom door opened a while later, and into the living room came the guy, wrapped in a large white blanket. Followed by Chanyeol who's holding onto his shoulders in order to guide him where to walk and when to stop.

At the moment the guy stood still Chanyeol nearly leaped towards the heater, but sighed with relief and gave Kyungsoo a short glance as if to thank him for turning it on for them.

Kyungsoo moved his eyes to the stranger then.

He looks not much taller than Kyungsoo himself, but there are no more similarities between them other than that.

The man is extremely pale, his skin has a light shade of yellowy-grey, almost like a corpse. His entire body looks as thin as a skeleton and his bones are sticking out at every edge. Wet hair that looks like has been bleached a month or so ago but unattended since then covers his forehead and barely leaves gaps for his small vacant eyes to see through. Even his face looks like a skull covered in skin, cheeks sinking into his mouth from the inside.

And he's silent. Looking at nothing in front of himself, a dried out empty shell of a puppet. The towel covering him goes above his head and shoulders and drops down to his thighs. Both his arms are just fallen beside his body loosely. Kyungsoo easily noticed the blue and purple bruised marks of blood gathering near the inner side of his elbows.

This is a lot to take in. Kyungsoo feels his stomach twisting in aching agony from the sight, but his body refuses to move. What would he do if he moved, actually?

Chanyeol, still wearing only his black underwear, quickly walked back towards the man with a new pile of clean clothes in his arms. Gently, he took the guy's hands and guided him to sit down on the blanket he already spread on the floor behind him.

He hummed small gentle words of encouragements towards the guy while very carefully and slowly dressing him up, and even more carefully drying his hair with the towel when the dressing process was done.

"It's alright now... Are you warm enough...?"

He asked the man while wrapping the blanket around his body and helping him back up, only enough to make him sit beside Kyungsoo on the sofa.

There was no reaction. The man barely even blinks. He simply... Exists. Breathes in silence and stares at the void in front of his face as if nothing is there.

Kyungsoo might have misheard, but he thought he heard Chanyeol whisper something to himself before hurrying back into his own room.

'Why did you have to leave...'

Is what he thought he heard. Was Chanyeol talking to Yixing...?

Finally Chanyeol returned, dressed warm enough himself, and without a second of rest already began boiling some water. Shortly after he handed Kyungsoo tea, and then very carefully raised and turned the stranger's hands around so that he would hold a mug of tea as well. With the third mug, Chanyeol allowed himself to fall down on the carpet into a sitting position in front of Kyungsoo and the man sitting beside him.

Kyungsoo felt useless. And lost. And confused. His conscious tells him there has to be something he can do to help, but his brain fights back with the logical explanation of knowing there's nothing to be done at this moment.

He wanted to open his mouth to speak, to ask, to offer his help, to say something, anything really, but no voice came out.

Is it better to look at Chanyeol's dark circles under the eyes, or at the stranger's boney fingers holding the warm mug of tea motionlessly?

He was convinced more answers would arrive at the moment Chanyeol left the toilet with the man, but his mind is filled with twice as many questions as before and even less of an idea about the situation.

 

  
Chanyeol kept looking at the dude though. With sad anticipation, almost like he's waiting for him to do or say something, but the man didn't even bring the mug up to his chapped lips to take a single sip it. Like a statue.

Chanyeol sighed heavily and ran a hand through his own hair before finally turning to Kyungsoo.

"This is Baekhyun."

Oh.

Pieces of the full picture are slowly starting to match up together in Kyungsoo's head about this. Baekhyun, Yixing's fiance, the one who Chanyeol visited at the hospital. The one Chanyeol apparently also brought home from the hospital earlier today.

Kyungsoo felt a sort of electric tingle spark at the tips of his fingers when realizing who's sitting beside him, and without hesitating, scooted closer to the guy and began to gently rub his back, even if looking directly at him in this state is pretty difficult for him to contain.

He decided to look at Chanyeol instead. Tired, pained Chanyeol.

His friend sipped on the tea in silence, but the gulps were loud. Clearly Chanyeol himself has been under the deprivasion of proper nourishment and hydration today. If it's this hard for Kyungsoo to keep an unaffected facade, it must be ten times as hard for Chanyeol. Baekhyun was his friend, his close best friend together with Yixing, and now there is nothing but his mortal existence left after the tragedy.

Kyungsoo's heart aches are slowly becoming more prominent.

"He uhm. He lost himself... The system failure he experienced after seeing Yixing kind of wiped him out."

Chanyeol spoke quietly.

"The doctors say he's still in there, just... You know."

Kyungsoo nodded silently.

"His mentality is like a child now, sort of, from the emotional trauma. Like he's been shut off."

Chanyeol rubbed the back of his head as his eyes dived down into the tea filling his own mug. There is so much to say, but at the same time there is nothing else to say at all. There is no need for any more words at this point.

"I hate that I have to talk about him in third person--- When he's right freaking here."

His voice was thick, choked, hoarse. There was just so much sadness with every breath Chanyeol took and Kyungsoo felt himself losing air as well.

The giant sighed shakingly and took another large sip of the hot tea, inhaling and exhaling slowly for a while after.

"His aunt can't take him in yet for another week or so and I... Couldn't leave him in the grey ugly hospital any longer. So I convinced the doctors I'll take care of him."

He swallowed a lump that built in his throat.

"She already knows, she almost begged me to help. I would have done it anyway but--- When I got back I realized that uhm. I... Never mind."

Kyungsoo's aching heart has now taken his entire attention. Chanyeol's kindness really knows no ends. He took this responsibility upon himself even with all the rest of the dreadful things he has to deal with.

He's deeply touched, to say the least, and after wiping the wetness that gathered in his eyes, Kyungsoo scooted even closer to Baekhyun. Hugging around his back and gently raising his hands so that the mug would rest against his lips.

Carefully he made sure Baekhyun sipped and swallowed it down properly, before stroking the back of his head in slow dragging motions between the locks of damp hair.

"Hi, Baekhyun. It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Kyungsoo and I am Chanyeol's friend. Would you be my friend as well?"

He asked warmly, his free hand helped Baekhyun rest the mug on the coffee table before slowly sliding between his fingers and holding his palm tightly. It was a little warmer now after holding the mug for a while, but Baekhyun's general temperature was pretty low.

There was no response. He didn't really expect any, but it only made this worry feel ten times more real. As small as Chanyeol looked in his arms when he was grieving, Baekhyun looks like an actual child. So thin and fragile, almost like if you only as far as touch him wrongly he will break apart.

Kyungsoo's entire heart came out to him. To both Baekhyun and Chanyeol. Life is so damn cruel and unfair. Neither of the deserve any of this, and yet here they are. There has to be something he can do.

"Chanyeol, I don't have any shifts this weekend, as you know. Will it be okay if I come here to spend time with Baekhyun?"

Chanyeol's eyes widened at the question, slowly building a wet shine on the lower lid before he finally nodded. Is he going to cry? Kyungsoo's heart seriously won't be able to handle it if so. His arms are already filled with Baekhyun's body, he won't be able to comfort Chanyeol with more than words.

"You can cry if you want but... I only have two hands, so."

He added with a small smile, receiving a half chuckle turned into a sniff in return. Chanyeol lowered his head and attempted to breathe slowly for a while, which seems to have worked, because he raised his face shortly after and smiled in a more stable manner before wiping his eyes clean.

There is so much broken. So much nothing in the middle of what used to be everything. Like a puzzle where half of the pieces went missing, and it will never be complete again. There is so much gone and so little there.

 

  
It was quiet for a long time after that. Chanyeol turned around and leaned against the sofa between Kyungsoo and Baekhyun's legs, and turned the television on. It was warm and cosy in the apartment even with the sadness involved.

"Hey, do you know how this character is called?"

Kyungsoo asked Baekhyun at some point, gesturing for him to look at the television screen where a colorful happy looking animated series started rolling.

No reaction, Baekhyun stared in the television's direction but it was easy to see that his eyes weren't translating what he's seeing into his head. That's okay. It's alright, because even if he doesn't watch the show directly, hearing the voices and having the colors flash around could be good as a source of stimulation.

After spending a month in a single boring hospital room his reflexes and reactions must have turned numb and muffled.

"So what is your favorite food, Baekhyun? Do you like pizza? I bet you do. You look like the type of guy that likes pizza."

Kyungsoo spoke again a few minutes later, in a teasing normal tones. As if speaking to a friend he's slowly getting to know.

Even though he knew he wouldn't get any reaction.

"I saw you in the bath before, to be honest I'm a little jealous. I haven't had a bubble bath even once in my life. Can you imagine? Do you think Chanyeol would throw one for me as well?"

He continued talking anyway. Talking and asking questions, speaking gently, humming, stroking his back and head, gently massaging his fingers and palms while talking about the weather and the rain.

Chanyeol on the carpet beneath them was silent, but Kyungsoo could see the way he jumps a little and then exhales back down into calmness whenever he begins talking again. There might have been a small smile creeping up on his face, because he thought he saw Chanyeol's cheeks move a little bit higher.

"I can see in your eyes that you are a dog person. You can't hide it from me Baekhyun. Hmmm... Do you like Shibas? Corgis? Perhaps pugs? I think poodles are pretty cute. Golden retrievers too. Even when they're older and bigger."

He went on.

And on.

For who knows how many hours all they did was sit quietly as Kyungsoo continued trying to spark up conversations with Baekhyun all the while holding him closely.

But it started getting late. He noticed how Chanyeol began yawning and trying to hide it under his sleeves each time, but it didn't work. The contagious phenomenon spread to him as well, and it became more difficult to hold back his own yawns once they've taken over.

Neither of them noticed the passage of time, but at the moment Chanyeol checked the clock he turned around to face Kyungsoo and Baekhyun again.

In all honesty, Kyungsoo himself didn't realize that Baekhyun's head had fallen against his shoulder and his eyes closed. How long has Baekhyun been sleeping in Kyungsoo's gentle embrace? But it was a great sign apparently, because Chanyeol's eyes sparked with warmth when he saw them like this.

The shine turned dark a moment later as his face turned into a combination of sadness and stress. An unintended frown.

"Kyungsoo I---... Shit."

He slammed his own hand against his face with frustration and it startled Kyungsoo a little, but not enough to move and possible disturb Baekhyun's peaceful nap.

"What is it?"

"I said I'd take care of him but when I came back I realized I---... I have to leave Korea again... For a whole week. Tomorrow night."

Oh.

This is definitely bad news.

"I don't know what to do--- I can't just leave him in the hands of a random stranger I don't know and---"

"I'll do it."

Chanyeol's eyes widened up at him, Kyungsoo could see the way his entire body tensed up. But it didn't change the amount of determination he feels towards keeping Baekhyun safe.

"Kyungsoo, I can't let you do this. It's going to be hard and you're busy yourself as well---"

"I said I'll do it."

He insisted again. With a little more assersion inserted under the still soft speaking tone to not bother Baekhyun.

 

  
For a few minutes the two of them kept juggling this hot potato of a responsibility between them. Kyungsoo kept insisting he will take this upon himself, and Chanyeol tried to lay him off the idea with the reasoning of it being an extremely difficult task for someone who's as busy as him.

In the end, Kyungsoo won. Reassuring Chanyeol that even though he doesn't have as many funds as Chanyeol he can still take a damn good care of himself. So spending some of it on another person for a week wouldn't be the end of the world.

Plus, Baekhyun is really cute. And he knows that it'll be better to fill his tummy with healthy food and not with reheated leftovers.

Chanyeol did suggest to consult with the doctors and hire someone who'd do it in a professional manner, but Kyungsoo managed to convince him that from what he heard about Baekhyun's life and personality, he wouldn't have wanted Chanyeol to go to such extremes just because he's like this. And that sealed the deal.

After helping Chanyeol lay sleeping Baekhyun in bed, Kyungsoo leaned down and planted a warm affectionate soft kiss on his forehead. Greeting him with a small 'Good night' before leaving the bedroom.

He then finished wearing his coat and scarf and hugged around his friend gently. Patting his back and allowing him to bathe in a little bit of active human warmth. Chanyeol's head fell down and his face got buried into Kyungsoo's shoulder.

"You've worked hard, Chanyeol. You're going to work hard from now on too, so it's okay. Let me do what I can as well, yeah?"

A tight squeeze and a heavy exhale later, Kyungsoo was at the door. He was given Baekhyun's aunt number so that the two of them could contact each other and settle the way she will be taking Baekhyun home with her at the end of this week, a day before Chanyeol's return.

When looking back before the door closed behind him, Kyungsoo could see how his friend is preparing the living room's couch as a new bed.

How could such a giant fit into such a small sofa?

No, there's nothing Kyungsoo can do about this at the moment. Tonight his friend will have to curl on the sofa and hopefully snatch a few hours of sleep. From tomorrow it'll be Kyungsoo's job to fix it up for himself.

And indeed, the next day Kyungsoo returned fairly early to apartment number sixty one.

The dark circles under Chanyeol's eyes grew larger and a little more grey, but his spirit was a little less monochrome.

When he arrived in the morning Baekhyun was seated comfortably on the carpet wrapped in another blanket. His hair was a little messy from the bed, and there was a little bit of toothpaste sticking to the corner of his mouth that Kyungsoo wiped away with his thumb along with a chuckle.

Chanyeol was actually successfully cooking the three of them some eggs and toasts, and while gobbling in his food, Kyungsoo let him have a small break by guiding Baekhyun's hands and making him eat by himself. It was more like being a puppeteer controlling him with touches instead of strings, but Baekhyun chewed and swallowed on his own, so that was already good.

Kyungsoo stayed there for the rest of the day, sitting in front of Baekhyun on the sofa and trying to spark his interest with music, videos, conversation, jokes, gentle strokes and even failed children's hand games. All while Chanyeol was busy packing up luggage for his week long journey away from him.

At the end of the day when the sky turned from red to purple and the moon peeked beyond the passing clouds, Kyungsoo covered Baekhyun up with the extra coat he brought in the morning, and they made the slow careful cold path down the stairs of Chanyeol's building, out to the street, and right into Kyungsoo's apartment. Walking with their arms crossed together all warm and huddled against the wind.

Honestly, it was way easier taking care of Baekhyun in his own home than he had anticipated. He didn't care about the mess left in the bathroom or the living room or even the kitchen as long as he knew Baekhyun was sleeping soundly in bed.

He really is like a doll. Like some very obedient zombie that never really growls, and definitely isn't hungry for brains.

Once he knew his guest is asleep Kyungsoo cleaned up properly and turned his own living room's couch into a luxurious bed. Well, he simply spread a sheet on top and added an extra pillow. But unlike Chanyeol, the size wasn't anything he had to worry about struggling with.

The first two days, which were still during Kyungsoo's free weekend, were pretty tiring, but successful. He even managed to talk with Baekhyun's aunt for a little while and update her on his situation.

Baekhyun didn't show any specific signs of improvement, but the color returned to his skin and his sunken cheeks started filling in from the constant nibbles Kyungsoo helps him consume.

Kyungsoo hasn't lost hope.

  



	6. Chapter 6

(NSFW warning.)

 

 

The weekend spent solely with Baekhyun has come to an end.

An odd feeling of comfort from having him around is keeping Kyungsoo's chest warm and firm even through the tough tasks of having to physically direct and guide Baekhyun's body into doing, well, anything.

Showering Baekhyun was tough without having an actual bathtub in the bathroom, but he managed to succeed by simply showering together with him. Dressing him up was a careful job, not to pull too harshly or squeeze too tight. He brushed Baekhyun's hair every night before bed, hoping that the massage on his scalp would help the blood flow and possibly spring some life into him.

Kyungsoo didn't want to rush anything. He didn't want to push and pressure Baekhyun, still lifeless looking Baekhyun, into activity. He didn't go as far as feeding him like a baby, but he knew the boy wouldn't eat without Kyungsoo bringing his fork holding hand up to his mouth. It's better to get used to the movement slowly, right?

There were some good times too. When they were watching the television together and Kyungsoo continued speaking to him, there were moments when Kyungsoo could see Baekhyun's eyes actually focusing on what's in front of him. Little by little processing the world around him.

At the last day of the weekend he even took a fairly good selfie with Baekhyun and sent it to Chanyeol, who replied enthusiastically about how much more alive his friend looks.

If it was up to Kyungsoo, he would have stayed at home with his guest for the entire week. But while he's taking care of Baekhyun, who would take care of him?

So when a new morning of a work day arrived, he knew he had to be brave.

Luckily, thanks to Chanyeol's previous handling of the situation, he made sure Baekhyun had all of his clothes from back home. So Kyungsoo didn't have to deal with the question of which clothing items he'll be willing to lend to Baekhyun.

Well, clearly, the answer is all of them. But it still saves him some mental effort.

He woke up whole two hours ahead of his usual waking time to prepare for this day. He cooked the two of them breakfast, helped Baekhyun eat, cleaned after they finished, dressed Baekhyun up, dressed himself up, covered them both in enough warm layers to fight the cold weather, and finally made sure Baekhyun's sporty shoes were tied flawlessly so there wouldn't even be a chance for him to stumble on top of his own shoelaces.

His arm was wrapped tightly around Baekhyun's back and waist as they slowly but surely made their way to the bar. No birds chirp in this part of the city, but the sun painted the sky in a beautiful clear blue.

Baekhyun was walking well on his own, so rather than carrying him, Kyungsoo kept his arm around just to make sure he doesn't lose balance and fall.

They got to the bar a little early. Which is perfect, because Kyungsoo could take Baekhyun's coat off with ease and sit him down in the most isolated table, right next to the bar itself. Not only was it quite separated from the rest of the sitting area, but it was almost like a little observatory on the rest of the place.

The seat of this specific table is made of a leather covered couch, an upgrade that helps support Baekhyun's fragile body from the rough regular chairs.

But the best advantage of this spot is the fact that it's in the constant field of view of the bartender. And Kyungsoo knows that whether if it'll be Minseok or his cool replacing lady that's nearly as tall as Jongin, he can trust them to keep half an eye out for Baekhyun's safety.

 

  
It was the tall lady instead of Minseok for this day shift. She was a little confused at first from hearing Kyungsoo's request, but after spotting Baekhyun sitting motionless in the seat Kyungsoo could practically see her heart reach out to him.

She agreed with confidence and through Kyungsoo's entire waitering hours, whenever he made eye contact with her, she gave him a thumb up after a quick glance at the boy.

Kyungsoo was extremely grateful, and after taking Baekhyun to the toilet and helping him eat during his own lunchbreak he suggested taking over her role at the bar so that she could have a break as well. It meant no rest for Kyungsoo, but he was fine with it. He was thankful for her cooperation.

By the time his shift ended he was drained, but it wasn't yet his sign to let loose of his responsibilities.

With soft encouragement he helped Baekhyun stand up and get to the door, where he closed the coat around him and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Thank you for being so patient with me, Baekhyun."

He said warmly, looking directly into Baekhyun's unfocused eyes. But there was a certain movement on his friend's face. His eyebrows tied together very lightly and his eyes sparked with a small shine.

Kyungsoo simply laughed and took his hand, intertwining their fingers together when they stepped outside back to the cold weather and the orange sky of the sunset.

The walk back home was the same as how they've arrived. Except holding hands was enough to keep Baekhyun balanced, and not the whole arm around the body ordeal. Already great improvement.

Kyungsoo didn't forget to let Baekhyun know how proud he is of the progress when they got back home.

He didn't forget to brush his hair and massage his scalp gently while humming a calming tune for him before bed either. That night when he kissed Baekhyun's forehead before leaving the bedroom he noticed that same shine in his eyes before they shut under the heavy tiredness. The couch is a little less comfortable.

The rest of the work days during that week rolled on the same schedule.

Except each day Kyungsoo felt his exhaustion weighing him down a little more. Every day the couch was harder and harder to sleep on. Every day waking up and knowing that he has to exist and have enough power to maintain two people instead of one was more difficult.

But totally worth it.

Because although the task was rough and hard to handle during his every waking hour, he saw the way Baekhyun slowly woke back to life.

At first the signs were simple. Baekhyun would actually look at what's in front of him and track moving objects with his eyes. Be it Kyungsoo's hand gently waving in front of his face, or the colorful characters moving around on the television screen. He even started examining the bar's surrounding when Kyungsoo had no choice but to bring him along to work.

The next development was when Kyungsoo gently stroked the side of Baekhyun's head when they were relaxing together on the bed, and Baekhyun actively turned his head and shifted his position in the bed by himself. He was able to then successfully drink and eat on his own, and place his attention on specific people who caught his interest in the bar as well.

As tired as Kyungsoo was from all the work both at the bar and at home, he felt better. His mood was lifted whenever Baekhyun was showing signs of activity. Plus it warmed his heart to know that Minseok, Jongin and Sehun are doing their best to help him out as well.

Sehun often stopped at his table with refills of little munchy snacks, Jongin would sit beside him and try to play some childish hand games with him. Minseok went as far as stepping out from behind the bar in order to bring Baekhyun a glass of water when he noticed the boy was looking at him.

Kyungsoo knows he is very lucky to have such a wonderful bunch in his life.

The next stage was already a big jump. It seems that something about the constant stimulation and attempts to communicate with Baekhyun worked like magic.

He looked directly at Kyungsoo whenever he spoke, he even mumbled Kyungsoo's name quietly a few times and cracked a small smile with each stroke of the cheek or hair. He nodded and reacted to questions, was able to dress and undress by himself, use the toilet on his own, even shower with only a little bit of help.

 

  
Such improvement in just a week was astonishing.

Kyungsoo couldn't help but only wash over Baekhyun with more and more affection. Forehead kisses became a regular morning and night routine, last night Baekhyun was the one to brush through Kyungsoo's hair. And tonight, Baekhyun's last night in Kyungsoo's place before his aunt comes to pick him up and bring him home, they even fell asleep together in bed with Baekhyun's arms wrapped gently around Kyungsoo's head against his chest, as if holding a teddy bear.

For their last day together Kyungsoo cleared his working schedule, and made sure he will be there with Baekhyun entirely. Both in body and mind.

He didn't allow Baekhyun to help with the breakfast cooking, but seeing him walk around the little apartment on his own, humming, feeling comfortable and calm, was already such a giant win.

It made Kyungsoo truly, unreasonably, happy.

"So it was pizza! I knew it! I knew it'd be pizza!"

He exclaimed before laughing wholeheartedly together with Baekhyun. The two of them sitting with their legs crossed in front of each other on the couch.

"And you like...?"

Baekhyun asked, honest curiousity in his eyes although his voice is still pretty weak.

"I like everything really. Except for a few herbs like parsley. I'm not a big fan of spicy food too, actually."

Kyungsoo elaborated in return after thinking for a few seconds, but turned to look back at Baekhyun when he felt his thin fingers tightening around his palm. Baekhyun leaned in just a little, looking like he's about to begin talking , but his mouth wouldn't open. Almost like his mind hasn't yet registered his intentions.

With a small smile Kyungsoo stroked the side of his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't know how happy I was to have you here this week. I had a lot of fun, even at the bar, haha."

His beloved guest exhaled lightly and then let go of his hands, only so that he could pull himself on his knees and lean closer to Kyungsoo. His arms wrapped around Kyungsoo's shoulders and his head fell at the nook of his neck with a breath.

"Kyungsoo... Sorry for the burden..."

Quite surprised from Baekhyun's sudden hug, Kyungsoo started stroking his back in a comforting manner, up and down slowly to create enough friction for warmth. His heart was already warm. Baekhyun was just so precious.

He smiled and let his head rest against Baekhyun's gently, half hugging him as well.

"You are not a burden, Baekhyun. You are great. I felt like I was living with a brother I never had for a week. You are my brother, right?"

Kyungsoo spoke softly, not too loud when his mouth is located near Baekhyun's ear.

"Right. We're brothers."

"Exactly, and since we are family you will never be a burden."

He reassured Baekhyun with confidence, feeling all soft and mushy inside, before the two of them parted from the hug and he was able to stand up to begin preparing Baekhyun's departure bag with all his clothes for his aunt to take.

"Will you help me pack your bag?"

With an offered hand he smiled at Baekhyun, who took hold of the hand and brought himself up to his feet as well, but pouted childishly.

"It's my bag, so you're the one helping me pack it."

Chanyeol would have laughed so hard if he saw this. This is so great. Everything is fantastic and Kyungsoo knows that this bond he made with Baekhyun would last forever. Something about him just puts his body at ease.

Wordlessly he grabbed onto Baekhyun's bag and brought it to the middle of the living room. Most of it is already packed, the only things left to fold and shove inside are the pair of pajamas his guest used during his stay and some underwear Kyungsoo washed for him.

"Right. Your bag. Go on then."

He teased Baekhyun with half of a smile and handed him the pile of clothes waiting to be folded. It actually surprised him that Baekhyun was able to fold and place everything in the bag properly. A pleasant surprise.

A short while later, Baekhyun's aunt was waiting under the apartment complex, and the two of them hugged their tight goodbyes. Kyungsoo of course didn't let Baekhyun leave without another kiss on the forehead, and Baekhyun in return squeezed tightly on his hand until the moment the car's door closed between them and the distance between them grew with the car's movement.

Kyungsoo's apartment is awfully empty now.

At least Baekhyun's aunt seemed nice and friendly, she welcomed him with open arms and pampered him with kisses for a long minute when they finally got together. He will be fine.

After updating Chanyeol with the news about Baekhyun's adventure to his new home, he found solace in his renewed freedom, even if the pure silence was suddenly a little unsettling.

 

  
A day following Chanyeol's arrival back to South Korea, he came to pick Kyungsoo up from work with one of his father's company cars and the two of them drove for two hours to get to Baekhyun.

The car was oddly spacious and luxurious. Not that Kyungsoo has a lot of other cars to compare it to except for Sehun and Junmyeon's old one that somehow remained in perfect condition after many years of usage. This one actually smells good though. Like cleaning products, jasmine, and Chanyeol's familiar perfume.

It wasn't boring even for a moment.

Maybe it was Kyungsoo's undetected longing for Chanyeol's presence, maybe he missed him, or maybe a night of well deserved sleep in his own bed restored all of the energy he lacked. But Kyungsoo just couldn't stop talking.

He told Chanyeol about work, about how he took care of Baekhyun throughout the week in his place. How slowly but surely Baekhyun's spirit came back to life, how the entire bar staff kept watching over him everytime he was unfortunately brought over. He spoke about the weather and the recent annoying customers at the bar and,

Chanyeol listened.

Chanyeol was there and he listened and understood and hummed at all the right placed, laughed at the right timing and kept glancing at Kyungsoo with a peaceful smile whenever the road ahead was consistant enough for him to not need to pay attention for a few seconds even at the high speed they were driving.

And when Kyungsoo was done there was no awkwardness, because Chanyeol himself began talking about his week.

About his father's fake smiles and strong facade hiding a lonely widowed greying man. About the good food he got to try every night on his wandering adventure when work was done. About work itself, about the new gifts he brought for both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. About forgetting to bring Kyungsoo's but it's too late to turn around now.

It was fun. It was natural, it was comfortable.

Kyungsoo didn't realize just how quickly he had adjusted to the avilability of his friend as a source of stability and reassurance.

Staring up at the profile of Chanyeol's perfectly shaped face bouncing the reddening sunlight off of the edges of his smooth skin, Kyungsoo came to the conclusion that maybe being like this is not bad.

Maybe just, being, is okay. As long as Chanyeol's there with him.

They played some music when the silence after their conversation turned a little too loud. Although the sun just began sinking behind the horizon the nearly full moon is already up in the sky. Combining that with the beautiful suburban landscape surrounding them from both sides of the highway creates a living painting as a view.

Things are okay.

When they finally parked the car in front of the simple yet fairly large house of Baekhyun's aunt, it was already dark outside. An unexpected blow of freezing wind hit against Kyungsoo's cheeks when he stepped out of the car.

Moments later, before either of the visitors could make it to the house itself, the door opened with a loud creak. A bright happy Baekhyun stood at the entrance with a wide excited smile and at least two layers of sweaters hugging around his still slightly malnourished figure.

"Kyungsoo! Chanyeol!"

He cheered energetically and almost started hopping in his spot while waiting for them to finally enter the house.

A stroke of pleasant heat wrapped around Kyungsoo when they made it in and got pulled into a tight group hug shared between the three of them. With Baekhyun's arm over his shoulder from one side and Chanyeol's arm tight around his back and waist from the other, Kyungsoo realized what's the meaning of this unfamiliar bubbly sensation in his stomach.

Family.

It's family.

 

  
Together with Baekhyun and his wonderful aunt which turned out to be an excellent cookie baker, they sat in the spacious living room in front of the burning fireplace and talked.

Yixing's name was brought up a few times, and a second of tension spiked up Kyungsoo's spine each time, but there was nothing but fondness and maybe a hint of sadness in the words that came after these mentions. So there was no need for him to be so alert.

This time Kyungsoo didn't feel an inner pressure to speak. He let Baekhyun and Chanyeol catch up with each other and speak freely. It didn't surprise him when Baekhyun's hand made its way on his own. Not when his head fell against his shoulder either.

Even if it's barely been two days, he had to admit that he did miss Baekhyun. Maybe just a little, but it's there. This connectivity and ease of these little physical contact points.

Either Baekhyun is extremely touchy in nature, or Kyungsoo made the best decision to encourage touches between them while the boy was recovering in his apartment.

It came so naturally that he didn't even notice he began stroking Baekhyun's hair until Chanyeol's eyes softened down to a gush of warmth together with a helplessly pleased smile. His eyes were sparkling so brightly from the fire's reflection that for a moment he forgot that this fire actually exists outside of Chanyeol's eyes.

Kyungsoo didn't mind it one bit. Just like during their week together, Baekhyun's presence keeps his mind afloat.

His feelings towards Baekhyun are entirely different from the ones he has towards Chanyeol, but nonetheless meaningful and strong.

They spent a couple of hours there before announcing their leave.

This time, it was Baekhyun who bid Kyungsoo farewell with a kiss to the forehead. Which sent him into a fit of happy giggles all the while heading and entering the car to leave. He didn't stop waving at Baekhyun's direction even when he turned into a small bouncy dot of colors sticking out of the greyness of the night.

"Kyungsoo,"

Chanyeol began speaking about an hour into their journey back home.

"I want to thank you again for taking care of Baekhyun and bringing his soul back like this. You're incredible. I don't think I would have been able to do it... Even if I had all the time in the world."

A hint of pain came to the surface of Chanyeol's tone and it left a stinging feeling even though what he intended to say came out of positive emotions.

"You're giving me too much credit, and too little for yourself. Baekhyun got better on his own, I was just there. I bet the only reason you could fail is if you had to take him to work with you. He wouldn't have anything to do while waiting in your boring meetings."

Kyungsoo shrugged. Unafraid to say what's on his mind the way it is. No sugarcoating. He knows they both think the same way about Chanyeol's work. To Kyungsoo it sounds like a pain in the ass to sit and listen to rich men speak all day.

There won't be any music, or colors, or excitement. Just tiring seriousness and greediness of men who already have enough power but seek more.

"I mean, you can cook just fine, and you were as kind to him as you are to me, so I'm sure you would have made it."

Came the conclusion, and finally Kyungsoo glanced up towards his friend to see what he was thinking about said words. Surprisingly, Chanyeol's expression remained serious and focused on the road, but there was an obvious pink hue to the tips of his ears.

Cute.

Chanyeol is so cute he makes Kyungsoo want to peck his cheek, or hold his hand, or do some other cheesy shit that Kyungsoo would have never thought of doing with any other person ever.

 

  
The rest of the ride was pleasant and quiet with nothing but the music and the low rumble of the car's engine in the background. Until they finally reached the little parking space located between their two buildings.

With belts already unbuckled the two of them sat in the car in silence. Neither of them moved. They didn't even look at each other for almost a whole minute straight, until Chanyeol broke the weird tension in the air and turned towards Kyungsoo.

He leaned in closer, their eyes locked in a gaze, and only got closer and closer. What was he doing exactly? Why did he suddenly come so close to Kyungsoo's personal space like this? Is this an invitation?

Kyungsoo could clearly see that Chanyeol's arm was actually reaching to the back seat in order to grab Kyungsoo's coat for him, but at this point it didn't even matter, because Kyungsoo's heart already urged him into an action he knows he wouldn't be able to undo.

Quickly but gently both of his hands grabbed on Chanyeol's cheeks and while pushing himself slightly forward he shut his eyes and kissed him softly. Their lips barely touched, only rested against one another and exchanged some heat while Kyungsoo's thumbs slowly stroked over his friend's jawline.

So small, so modest. Even though there was barely any connection, Kyungsoo felt his heart starting to race in his chest already.

But there was no reaction to this initiated action at all.

Did he cross the line? Was this the wrong thing to do at a moment like this? Did Chanyeol already change his mind about the way he felt towards Kyungsoo after his confession was postponed without an expiration date?

A chance lost? An opportunity wasted? Is that what's happening now? Kyungsoo's entire being is invested into this barely kiss and yet Chanyeol is unresponsive, a motionless statue. That must be how it feels to make a mistake. Of course Kyungsoo had made mistakes before, but none have ever sprouted such anxiety at the back of his head.

His confidence began deteriorating and he paused his thumbs from moving, and then started leaning his body backwards, preparing to separate the two of them fully and drowning in his own mixture of regret and disappointment.

But right before their lips detached entirely he felt Chanyeol's large palm being placed on his own jaw. Another big hand landed on the side of Kyungsoo's body, right on his long shirt under the opened zipper sweater he had opened during the ride because of the warmth. Not only that, but he felt Chanyeol's fingers slowly stroking his body on top of the fabric.

He was forced back a little, back to the middle between the seats because Chanyeol himself leaned towards him and started kissing him back. A kiss soft and dry and gentle just like the one Kyungsoo has given him. But he could feel the greediness behind it.

For a moment Kyungsoo thought he would be the bad guy taking advantage of Chanyeol's admitted feelings to him from before, but right now he isn't so sure who's the one taking advantage of the situation.

Their kiss was slow, careful. Just two pairs of lips rubbing against each other in a sort of gentle ryhthm.

That won't do. Kyungsoo's wish to be cheesy hasn't been fulfilled yet.

He decided to be courageous and bit lightly onto Chanyeol's lower lip. He felt the other's hitched breath on his own lips as a result. It still smells like the sugary cookies they've eaten back at Baekhyun's aunt place.

Somehow, mutually, almost in sync, the two of them pulled apart from each other and discontinued the kiss. Only to end up staring at each other's eyes with fierceness that could pierce through diamonds. That was all the affirmation Kyungsoo needed to know neither of them is going to back down now.

 

  
Once the spark between them lit up Kyungsoo just lashed himself on Chanyeol. He wrapped both arms around his shoulders and climbed onto his lap, a thigh at each side of Chanyeol's hips. Straddled him so that their bodies are hinged tightly together.

Making himself comfortable up there was easy, Chanyeol's body is large between his legs and between his arms and beneath the layers of clothes separating their crotches from colliding.

Kyungsoo licked his own lips and then leaned in, resting his head against the side of Chanyeol's head while he started grinding on him. Rubbing their groins together relatively slow at first in order for them both to get used to this new position. It felt good. Chanyeol's hands firmly held on both sides of his waist and massaged lightly right above the hipbones as well, which was pleasant.

Until the point where Chanyeol began participating in the action as well and thrusted right back at every one of Kyungsoo's grinds in unison. It was slow and sensual at first, and Kyungsoo could feel the heat radiating from Chanyeol's face even without seeing it. He also felt how Chanyeol's thrusts between his legs right where he could feel the buldge building, became a little more eager after a while.

Slowly the temperature rises with the electricity exchanging between their every movement, so Kyungsoo sat himself right on top of Chanyeol's firm buldge on purpose, locked sharp eyes with him and leaned back while pulling off his already opened zipper sweater and allowing it to drop down on Chanyeol's knees that pop behind him.

A lot more sexy than necessary, but that was the entire point. Seeing with his own eyes how Chanyeol gulped on his own saliva and ran his gaze over Kyungsoo's entire body with both shyness and lack of patience.

His long shirt was made of a pretty thin fabric, and even without looking down he knew that his nipples are probably perked out and stick through the cloth in an obvious manner.

It was easy to conclude at least from the length of time Chanyeol's eyes paused to look at his chest once the sweater was out of the way.

When the shameless excessive posing came to an end, Kyungsoo placed both his hands on his friend's chest and torso and leaned back in, attaching his lips to the side of Chanyeol's neck repeatedly in the form of slow paced pecks and licks. Payback from the time they spent back in the bar's toilet stall.

He didn't waste the opportunity to rub the tips of his fingers over Chanyeol's body though, trying to make out the curves of the front of his body. It happened to be an easy task due to how strong and hard the surface was. Not only giving Kyungsoo a very enticing surprise, but also making the experience a lot of fun. Sliding his palms over Chanyeol's packed stomach and formed chest was great.

Especially because Chanyeol's hands stroking up and down on his back so affectionately, allowing Kyungsoo to feel in which direction each of his long fingers goes above the thin fabric only empowered the fire already burning in him.

It's not enough, he's not yet satisfied.

 

  
Kyungsoo while their crotches are still grinding together, leaned in closer to Chanyeol's body and trailed his tongue up his neck and to the ear. At that point he realized he was most likely missing on a lot of fun.

So without further due he kissed Chanyeol's earlobe, then bit on it lightly before licking over the pointed outwards long edge all through and then back to the center again. Breathing into his ear at the same time.

Indeed, this was a lot of fun.

He felt Chanyeol's groin press even more against his jeans and his entire body shuddered sharply. Chanyeol grunted once with a deep voice, and a second time with a higher pitched airy voice.

Bingo. Kyungsoo just hit the jackpot.

Or so he thought until he realized both of Chanyeol's hands slid down under his pants and underswear, and groped a handful of his ass right at the meat. At the skin. Which evidently, is Kyungsoo's entire ass, considering the size of Chanyeol's hands.

No holding back today. Kyungsoo let his voice come out naturally, and hummed a moan right into Chanyeol's ear from the light tingly sensation that ran down his spine from having his whole ass held, massaged and squeezed the way Chanyeol did it.

He was struck with arousal from how dangerously close to his hole his friend's fingers began sliding, teasing and rubbing with determination.

But he was not patient enough to wait for the whole process to take place, his jeans are pressing annoyingly tight around his groin, and his natural self preservant instinct still didn't allow him to think of doing any sort of penetrative activity with Chanyeol just yet.

So without wasting time he let his forehead fall down on Chanyeol's shoulder and looked down at their joint bottom grip. His fingers went straight to work, skillfully undoing both their pants and freeing the pressure before shamelessly tugging down the underwear and letting their very much erect dicks free.

Oh shit.

This view is damn hot.

Since Chanyeol's hands were busy teasing around his hole and setting the butterflies in his stomach in chaos, Kyungsoo aligned the way he sits on his friend's lap so that their skins were rubbing together.

"Ah, fuck. This is so hot..."

Kyungsoo mumbled in a gruffy voice from the view.

Then with a surge in arousal yet again, he brought his hand down and attempted to grab them together, but his fingers didn't even close fully around the combined width of their hardening dicks. He began rubbing them together in his hold anyway, slowly. Skin to skin. And it's unbearably erotic to look at.

His attention was so centered at the front that he barely noticed that Chanyeol's hands let go of his ass. One of his hands returned to Kyungsoo's jaw and stroked gently to raise his face up, only so he could lick against his lips and pull him into a wet kiss. Chanyeol's other hand grabbed over Kyungsoo's hand which held them together.

A zap of reignited excited electricity ran to every edge of Kyungsoo's body from the anticipation of feeling Chanyeol's big hand touch him again. It felt so damn good last time after all.

Chanyeol wouldn't ever disappoint him, would he?

Right when the desire for Chanyeol's hand to work them out registered in Kyungsoo's eager brain, the giant pressed his hand tightly around Kyungsoo's hand over their dicks, gripping their combined girths together and squeezing. It sent similar sensations to the both of them it seems, because they groaned in unison.

"Ugh--- I love your hands so much, ahh."

Kyungsoo admitted absentmindedly, but loud enough so Chanyeol could hear him. He was met with a huff and a kiss on the side of his lowered head in return.

"I already know that... Should I refresh your memory?"

He spoke deep and low directly into Kyungsoo's ear and gave it a lick right after, sending a soft pleasant shiver through his upper body.

Kyungsoo turned speechless for a moment, he's certain his cheeks and ears are as red as he knows Chanyeol's are. He's not shy like Chanyeol, but whenever that deep voice echoes into his brain he feels himself turn into goop.

"Yeah. Yes, make me come with your hand againnnnhh..."

He replied, pulling his own hand away from the slightly sticky situation beneath them and getting stuck in a groan at the end of his sentence because Chanyeol's fingertip slid right over their slits.

 

  
At this point there's really no more holding back.

Kyungsoo wrapped both arms around Chanyeol's shoulders again, holding onto the back of his head and stroking fingers through his hair while leaning closer in and kissing into his mouth all wet and noisy. A sloppy moan decorated kiss where they were mixing flavours from one mouth to another and dripping the excess down to their chins.

Similar to the precum that added a new wet and sticky sound to the heavy breathes, heartbeats, pleasured hums and already moist feel of their hefty lips battle that filled their brains in the car.

Chanyeol's hand was jerking them hard and fast together while his other hand travelled over Kyungsoo's skin under the thin shirt all over his back. Tingles of warm fingertips sliding on his bare skin set his entire body in flames.

The heated make out with Chanyeol's flavours and heavy breathing, the constant effortful stimulation from the front, combined with the gentle tease of his skin at the back brought him to a new edge of arousal and pleasure.

With his eyes closed like this, the only sources he could depend on were his sound, and touch senses.  
  
"So good, Chanyeol--- Good. Yes, god."

But even he couldn't predict what a well timed squeeze would do to him.

All of a sudden Kyungsoo's entire body stiffened, shuddered sharply, pushed all air out of his lungs, and sent the sharpest buzz up his spine and through his entire nervous system, causing his toes to curl inside the shoes and his fingers grip tightly on Chanyeol's hair.

He gasped for air before the overwhelming orgasm spread over his entire body.

His hips bucked forward into Chanyeol's hand hard as he winced and began whimpering loudly practically into Chanyeol's mouth inside the wet airy kiss while being unable to control the fact that he was spraying his sperm on top both their dicks and over Chanyeol's hand.

With his entire body tensing at once from the crowding sensation washing over him all at once, he was sure it'll come to an end eventually. But even though he began heaving into his kiss with Chanyeol and his thighs were trembling helplessly on top of his friend's lap, even though his dick was still extra sensitive from the unexpectedly long orgasm, Chanyeol showed him no mercy and continued jerking them relentlessly.

"S-Shit--- I can't, oh god---"

So dazed from the intensity, Kyungsoo couldn't hold his voice back at all and started moaning non stop, filling the car with his powerless cries of pleasure that pushed him through his own known limits.

"So hot Kyungsoo, your voice--- Gh."

With his own moans, Chanyeol's heavy deep huffs, and the damn nasty sound of Chanyeol's hand pumping them with all the wetness of Kyungsoo's release, he lost the ability to control not only his voice but his muscles too.

He kept trembling and curling into Chanyeol from the repeated jerk of his sensitive spots, which made his loaded wet tongue slide sideways from his friend's mouth all over his cheek and ended at the center of Chanyeol's ear, which Kyungsoo then moaned into.

Once again he was surprised by Chanyeol.

The giant's body was the one tensing now, he felt zaps and sparks flying between them while huffing heavily against his friend's neck. Then Chanyeol's breathing stuttered and hitched before thick lust laced grunts and moans left his mouth through the lips quivering on Kyungsoo's cheek.

He could feel the grip tighten around their dicks again, and with a few more hard sensitive pumps Chanyeol finally entered the twilight zone and released his load in the same fashion as Kyungsoo.

The loud wetness of the whole situation was taking every bit of attention Kyungsoo had in him. He had to bite on his lip to hold back the grunt he wanted to release from seeing the white liquid dribble down their lengths and onto Chanyeol's palm.

 

  
His body was still trembling lightly until the moment Chanyeol ceased the slow rubs on their shafts and removed his hand from the concoction of body fluids. Kyungsoo could see the clear strings of sticky sperm coating the face of his palm and keeping it connected to the source with white lines.

It's so nasty. So nasty and erotic.

Solely for distraction, Kyungsoo rolled his hands forward and took a hold of Chanyeol's jaw and cheeks. He closed his eyes and leaned into another slow and sensual kiss this time. A kiss of recovery and satisfaction.

When he opened his eyes and examined his friend's face from up close he could see the dark hue of his blush, but also the shine of passion in his half shut yet sharp eyes.

"That was fucking amazing."

Kyungsoo mumbled against Chanyeol's lips before smiling into another kiss, stroking circles into his cheeks with his thumbs, and licking one last bit of sweetness from his kiss swollen plump lips.

Before pulling back he planted a few more pecks on Chanyeol's neck and ear, and once the task was complete and made stable solid eye contact with the giant for a long time. Just breathing, just soaking in each other's heat and scents.

They were both drained of energy, so even Chanyeol's initial shyness was gone. Kyungsoo was so busy melting from every contact of skin that he only now realized just how fast was the pace of his pulse.  
Kyungsoo knew it's late, he knew he should be getting home, but he didn't want to let go.

When his heart beat wasn't too loud in his ears he gently placed his hands on Chanyeol's shoulders yet again, and pecked his lips. His nose, his forehead. He trailed little kisses back to his jawline, neck and ears just to hear him breathe for a little while longer.

To memorize his scent and his heat and the texture of his skin.

His body jerked a little in surprise when both of Chanyeol's arms suddenly slided on both sides of his waist, but a short moment later when he looked down he realized Chanyeol just picked out some tissues to clean his hand.

With a snicker he planted the real last kiss on his lips, and then grabbed a few tissues as well. He wiped their crotches clean, although he knew for the both of them that some of these stains will need to be more thoroughly washed to get rid of.

But he finished with them both exceptionally well and quick. Who knew wiping tables at the bar everyday would be so beneficial?

Chanyeol still struggled to remove the leftovers from his own palm, that by the time he finally managed to do it well, Kyungsoo already finished pulling back their underwear and even zip back their jeans properly.

It looked like he wanted to say something to Kyungsoo, but when they made eye contact no voice came out.

Instead, Kyungsoo just smiled at him again and dismounted himself from the giant's lap carefully. Without any more words he wore and zipped up the sweater he removed before, then pulled his coat from the back seat and wrapped up properly.

"Good night, Chanyeol."

Was all he said before exiting the car and pacing towards his home, battling the cold winds.

Is he doomed? Or is he doomed?

 

  
\--

 

  
Days later the two of them still haven't spoken about it.

Well, what is there to say? What excuse does Kyungsoo have to give to cover up for himself after initiating whatever magical thing they've done in Chanyeol's car?

Sure, yeah, of course he can just go ahead and say that yes, Chanyeol's lips looked soft, and he liked the way the light bounced off his skin, and felt like he wanted to hold his hand or run fingers through his hair.

Not.

Kyungsoo always knew he's a sucker for Chanyeol-like types. At least general appearance wise that is. Tall, wide, well built. He's already come to the conclusion that chances are he's such good friends with Sehun and Jongin exactly because they apply to this criteria.

But then again, he's close with Minseok, Junmyeon, Jongdae and now Baekhyun too. So maybe he isn't that shallow after all.

Normally all he wants to do with people, if not to be left alone by them, is to get down to the point and separate ways again. Just simple meaningless hookups that he wouldn't have to care or worry about at the moment they're done.

Being gay did make this physical drive a little more difficult or maybe even slightly thrilling to achieve. Because turning up on another man's interests happens less often, it's almost rare. He was still able to remain picky about it though. Working at the bar has advantages.

He's done it with countless older married men who wore wrist watches more expensive than a half year's worth of his salary, did it with some more shady faces who brought him to a motel or even their places, too. But Kyungsoo never stayed the full night. There was no need to.

At the moment he was done he grabbed his things and left.

There were some more unfortunate cases where he fell on an unsympathetic guy that'd be selfish enough to just use him like a toy before dropping him. Or a dude that'd be a little too forceful, a little too hasty, a little too painful.

But no matter what he never stayed, because these people were nothing but an exchange of body heat and some relief.

That's how Kyungsoo used to operate until about a year ago when he realized even the sex wasn't such a necessity in his life and turned his lifestyle into a sex-free one.

He's not ashamed in any way about his actions. Kyungsoo always knows what he's doing, and in any situation there's always an available escape plan in case things go wrong. Otherwise he would not allow himself to even participate.

There's nothing wrong with being sexually active when you keep it safe, especially for a person like him who simply doesn't seek any sort of frame or responsibility towards anybody.

Kyungsoo doesn't lack anything when it comes to attraction on the physical realm. He knows he looks good, sounds good, and moves good when he wants to. What he lacks is the emotional content and connectivity behind the bodily interactions. He simply doesn't have the capacity to contain another person's interests in his mind.

That was until Chanyeol dropped into his life and washed over him like the heavy rain during their first meeting.

And now even though he doesn't know how to define what he's feeling, and Chanyeol had already provided him with the proof that there's no gender based barrier between them, even went as far as clearly stating he has the desire for the two of them to come together, he just can't.

He can't admit to himself that the way his heart beats when he thinks of Chanyeol or imagines him nearby has a meaning. Because it doesn't make any sense.

He can't let his logical mind agree with the way his subconscious makes him crave this closeness. Both in the physical way and the friendship or maybe relationship, way.

Whenever Chanyeol's around it feels like there's an alarm going off somewhere in the back of his head, telling him that he has to grasp onto this man, hold on tight, and never let go. Well, he's already aware of how much of a devastating effect it had on him to simply not interact for three days.

How is he supposed to define this new volcano of feelings inside him that keeps erupting from anything Chanyeol related? When his heart is burning with the need for affection but his mind keeps scaring him away from falling into the serious ties?

Maybe these two sides conflicting within him are the result of his fucked up upbringing. Who knows. But either way, he's the only victim of this cacophony of unknown differentiating pulls on his mind. So he will have to handle it until the moment a conclusion arises.

 

  
They've fallen into a pattern, Chanyeol a him. In which everytime Kyungsoo has a night shift, even if it's right after a day shift, he will let Chanyeol know. That way if Chanyeol's done with his own work at a fitting hour he could head over to the bar.

He's become an honorary guest at the bar at this point. Greeted with a bright smile by every one of Kyungsoo's closer friendly co-workers. Minseok's or his cool lady counterpart behind the bar itself always fix him up with some special drink right away, and at the first possible moment Kyungsoo spots him they exchange a knowledgable nod.

Then Kyungsoo always manages to set himself a small break and they slip outside through the back door to hang out.

It's fun. And Kyungsoo's very thankful for the little breather he gets to have thanks to the visit.

Usually since at that time of the night Kyungsoo has already lost most of his energy, he spends the time in the cool air outside leaning against the brick wall and relaxing while listening to Chanyeol.

Sitting in this weird position on top of his own feet is not very comfortable, but Chanyeol's deep voice is. He really could listen to his friend speak forever. The way his tone changes to add more emphasys over each syllable, the way he imitates the funny dumb voices of his own coworkers and the little husk hoarse moments at the start and end of each sentence he says are great.

Everything about having Chanyeol stand there and speak to Kyungsoo freely is great.

More often than not Kyungsoo catches himself stare up at his friend in a sort of light daze. He noticed that Chanyeol's lips perk out a little when he speaks about things that make him upset, or when he complains about something stupid that happened to him at work.

But when he talks about his creative ideas, his thoughts, opinions, or things he's more enthusiastic and confident about, his lips remain small and tight, giving him a much more musculine vibe of seriousness and maturity.

Honestly, Kyungsoo isn't sure which of these two types of Chanyeol he prefers more. Chanyeol is so adorable, light and dorky, but he's also so deep, ambitious and hot. And everything in between, too.

Whenever he listens to Chanyeol on these wonderful little breaks they share he can sense the way his friend's mind spreads out and touches many different directions and fields at once. He has a sharp thinking process when he's able to focus, and Kyungsoo already learned that he has the capability to excell in every subject he'll set as his goal.

It's an ability Kyungsoo sometimes wishes he had, or at least known how it feels to be aware of the fact that one is this good at something. But then he reminds himself that he doesn't need any of that elevated high class way of thinking at all. He's a simple man that focuses on the present rather than one that keeps an eye out for the future the same way Chanyeol's father had embodied into his lifestyle.

At least it's not anywhere near the level of extreme that some crazy greedy fanatics have with money and power. Chanyeol is still a simplified version of his father's wishes. He enjoys the little things. He's humble and practical and so incredibly humane.

Kyungsoo finds that endearing. It makes him happy knowing that Chanyeol is able to juggle between his exquisite elite financial situation of work and the grounded day to day life of the regular people, without too much collision.

So hearing the way he talks with slang terms and earthly language about such high people is pretty refreshing and almost amusing at times.

 

  
Today though, their subject of conversation is different than usual. Well, Kyungsoo's got good reasoning for it, but unless Chanyeol will be curious enough to ask why it was brought up he wouldn't have to admit.

Okay, fine, geez.

It might have been the people at the bar. Those who are dancing. Specifically, those who are couples, and dancing. And maybe grinding against each other.

Because maybe it reminded Kyungsoo of that one night of their wild adventure there. Sweating and swinging their hips to the beat. And later swinging their hips against one another in the corner stall of the restroom.

One said thing stuck to Kyungsoo's mind ever since that night, beyond the physical and mental chaos of heat arousal and adrenaline.

Chanyeol's ex. Chanyeol's ex that already gave him a blow job at some point in the past.

Kyungsoo has already been aknowledged as the winner of the challenge, doing way better than whoever she was. Not that it was an actual challenge or anything, but Kyungsoo still rather enjoyed succeeding.

Luckily their conversation was already sort of on the right track to turn into a discussion of this sort. Kyungsoo was talking about the different types of wines and which kinds of meals go along with them. An easy enough opening to connect to his intended question.

Somehow he managed to turn it into a weird question about whether or not Chanyeol has been out on proper dates before. Without mentioning the word ex of course, otherwise it'll blow the fact that he's trying to hide just how curious he is.

"Oh, yeah, I've been on a few dates. Not sure what you mean by 'proper' though."

Chanyeol bagan.

"My ex girlfriend and I used to go out on dates I guess. Mostly to a little gaming arcade located near the school grounds."

Bingo.

Wait... What? School grounds? When exactly did Chanyeol have a girlfriend that gavehim a blow job at that age?

Kyungsoo's curiousity only grew along with the genuine concern. Not that he has anything to say to his own defense on that subject though. He's not off the radar when it comes to activities of this sort being done at questionable conditions.

Chanyeol continued on and explained even more about it.

Apparently they met at the end of middle school because they were casted to be the two funny side characters in the school's play. Then they met again in highschool and became friends when they realized they're getting along really well. Not long after, she asked him out.

Chanyeol thought she was really cool. She didn't give a damn about what anybody else thought of her, always being true to herself and doing what she wanted. They used to pull funny mostly harmless pranks on their friends at school, and he was so close with her parents that they felt like his own.

So when they were seniors their relationship advanced as they took the first step together into the adult world of sexuality. They explored their bodily limitations beyong just hand holding and hugs.

With a neutral yet conflicted expression he described how unsure he was about the whole thing. She felt too much like a friend to him, and too little like a lover most of the time. He was trying to convince himself at the time that it must just be stress. Because he simply wasn't attracted to her in That way.

He wasn't in love, due to his strict upbringing his mind back then didn't yet register that there are other options to love than just the normal straight couples that were the only representation of romance.

"But well,"

He said with a dry smile.

"It's sex. It was a big thing at that age. It did feel good."

Kyungsoo had to hold back a snicker from how emotionlessly Chanyeol shrugged and sighed after saying these words. Surely that ends the story of Chanyeol's adventures with his ex. Frankly, that part was all Kyungsoo actually wanted to know.

But Chanyeol took a breath and spoke again.

Saying that he broke up with her right after prom ended. But it was on good terms, and they remained friends even when he had to leave South Korea for several weeks, already starting to learn how to follow up after his father. So they've dated through highschool years. That's actually pretty cute.

When he returned his classmates informed him of her death.

Chanyeol paused shortly, his exhales creating little clouds of steam in front of his mouth, and Kyungsoo felt like a little bit of a dick for caring so much about a trivial thing like sex. There was no reason for him to feel this competetive about the blowjob he gave Chanyeol in their toilet stall adventure.

Chanyeol then said that she was in an accident one day. Her and both her parents had died on impact so it wasn't a painful departure.

His gaze lowered to the ground when he explained how he felt a little bit responsible for it deep down. Because maybe if he hasn't broken up with her, maybe if he would have put the effort into talking with her even when being away, things would have turned out differently.

But he knew it wasn't his fault. It's just the bitter truth. Since that moment he began preparing for his business study for a year. Which was when he met Yixing and moved in to his own apartment to start his life as an adult.

 

  
Quite a long period of time filled with silence later, Kyungsoo placed his palms on the wall behind him, and pulled his body upwards back to a normal standing position while leaning against it.

"Not to sound disrespectful or anything... But... Uhm. Since you've had sex before... Have you been tested for STDs?"

Chanyeol seemed to be surprised from the question. It was a little awkward, but he was sure the heavy subject they've spoken about already faded away in the cold wind during their shared silence.

"I mean, you're clear, right?"

He attempted to fix his question and make it clearer, but Chanyeol just stared right at him blankly before turning his face to the alley in front of them, looking lost in thought.

Oh. Did he... Mess up?

"Ah,"

Chanyeol then exclaimed and turned to Kyungsoo again, looking like he had just remembered something.

"Yes, I actually had to go through this weird medical evaluation a while back because of all the flying. I'm clear."

Now his expression was intrigued, questioning, wondering, it was clear he was very curious to know why Kyungsoo would want to know such a thing. Obviously.

But he was quick enough to avert his own gaze away from his friend before having any visible reaction to the sudden speed increase of his heart beat. Kyungsoo could only hope his cheeks won't betray him with a blush, but in this cold weather it's harder to detect whether the flushing is a natural reaction of the body, or due to some strong feelings. So he's safe.

"Oh, okay. Good to know. Keep it safe and all."

He ran his eyes over the imperfect pattern of bricks decorating the wall of the neighbouring building to the bar's. It was quiet again. He'd do anything to avoid eye contact at this point.

"I am clear too, uh. Just so you know."

Ridiculous. Why did he have to go on and say this. Has he not embarrassed himself enough?

"Fantastic."

To anyone else it would sound like Chanyeol was speaking in a completely nautral tone, but even without looking at him, Kyungsoo could tell he was doing his utmost best to try and contain his shyness.

"Yup."

Well, Kyungsoo just wanted to know. Just to make sure. No special meaning behind it at all. He doesn't have any intentions behind knowing such details. Not one bit. It's definitely not because he really wants to fuck himself on Chanyeol's dick until he cries, or maybe until Chanyeol cries, who knows, surely not him.

"I've also... Never been in a relationship before so. No ex's here."

Great, today must be 'Kyungsoo can't shut his mouth around Chanyeol day' or something. His friend looked at him with renewed shock.

"Oh wow, really?"

Kyungsoo was too embarrassed to utter a word, so he just nodded in defeat.

"Damn. People don't know what they're missing then."

He was expecting laughter, or a tease, or some clever remark about it since Chanyeol's got the experience about loyalty and all that bullshit Kyungsoo doesn't care about. So hearing such an answer was unexpected.

"...What?"

All of a sudden Chanyeol's whole 'cool' vibe evaporated into the air, and from under the disappearing facade came his true nature. His cheeks flushed as red as his ears, his eyebrows turned nervously and his lips started quivering with shyness.

"I mean, because you're so---... Good. Uh. At anything really. You're a good person and I like y--- That."

Now it was Kyungsoo's own turn to give Chanyeol that inquiring expression of surprise and curiousity. The butterflies in his stomach started to soar up and bump into the inside of his body before a smile cracked across his lips.

A smile that turned into a chuckle that grew into a short yet wholehearted laughter with the thought of how cute Chanyeol is in his head.

"Thanks, Chanyeol."

Maybe it's just Kyungsoo, but he was convinced that on their way back from the bar Chanyeol was walking closer to his body than usual. It felt like their shoulders were in constant physical connection the entire time.

It wasn't bad. Having Chanyeol invade his personal space like this. He's always welcome.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

  
Kyungsoo started getting soft lately. Ever since Chanyeol entered his life it feels like his cold stone heart is slowly melting down, the still rough matter starts to crack and crumble while beneath it shines the true warmth that was in a state of slumber for years.

This silly giant with his silly ears and silly dumb beautiful toothy smile, and his silly dimple, and the silly tiny mole on his nose, and the silly way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, and his ridiculous deep voice that penetrates Kyungsoo's brain with each mouthed word, his silly lips that look and taste and feel like heaven, his warm worn palms and his scent and hair and neck and---

Yes. Okay.

Chanyeol has taken over him. When they're together Kyungsoo's body is screaming for contact and heat. When they're apart his brain is screaming for reconnection and interaction.

It reached a certain extent he never thought would be crossed when he woke one morning and felt heavy regret about declining Chanyeol's confession from a while back.

Is this what it feels like to be ready for an actual relationship? Real commitment? Loyalty? What benefits are there to being an official couple anyway? Other than Kyungsoo knowing that he will have more opportunities to make his body and brain shut up from the constant Chanyeol crave.

Actually, that is a pretty convincing feature he'll be achieving by stepping up to that level.

But how is he supposed to do it? Especially when his brain still refuses to aknowledge that he is a human being that has actual feelings as well. Kyungsoo was simply never given the chance to experience anything close to love and affection, so his brain still translates everything of that manner to something dangerous.

So along with the struggle of containing his internal chaos, he has to find a course of action that'll help the cause.

Magically, once again it was destiny's hand flipping the cards in his favour, because one free evening he spent at Chanyeol's place when the other was busy filling out papers or something for work, the two of them saw that the weather forecast suggests a beautiful sunny yet cold morning on the weekend.

After that and until the end of their hang out Kyungsoo kept fighting within himself about whether or not he should ask Chanyeol to do something on the weekend since they will both be free.

By the time he was already out of Chanyeol's apartment door he thought the opportunity will blow away like every single time he wanted to say something to Chanyeol but wasn't able to from some stupid reason like being nervous.

But Chanyeol had more courage than him apparently, because before saying goodbye he patted Kyungsoo's head and smiled at him with a hint of shyness.

"So uh... I don't want to be pushy about this. But we saw the weekend is gonna be pretty nice and I was wondering if... Uhm."

Okay, he had the courage to start, but not enough bravery to go through it in one smooth slide. But that's fine. Even if he's stuttering a little or speaking too quick or looking all shy and cute with his pink hued ears and shaky smile, Kyungsoo doesn't mind.

He inhaled for a second and collected his groundings before finally making eye contact with Kyungsoo, who had to readjust his glasses just a little bit on his nose.

"We don't have to go steady or anything, but, would you give me a chance and go on a date with me?"

The wait was worth it. Kyungsoo gave up on holding back his smile when he realized where this question was going, and indeed his smile was as big as it can get with his lips shut. A weird mix of them rising up in a curve and yet going back down at the corners.

A genuine smile not many actually get to see him perform. But it's fine because Chanyeol can see it. He wants him to. He wants to go on a date with him.

"Yeah. We'll go."

Hearing Chanyeol's question was supposed to satisfy him enough, but after answering he felt overwhelmed by the amount of joy radiating from his friend.

The giant's eyes went wide with excitement and a brand new shine of hope. Kyungsoo could even hear his little gasp at the realization. His whole body was getting giddy from the thrill and he pet Kyungsoo's head once again.

This time it felt a little different, a little less friendly and a lot more affectionate, warm.

Kyungsoo could get used to this.

 

  
Time flew faster than a speeding bullet and the bright weekend came knocking Kyungsoo out of bed with nothing but anticipation and optimism.

He's acting strange. Unlike himself, but maybe that's exactly the way the depths of his heart shine out on his behaviour. His mind is in a happy place. He even hummed some songs to himself while showering and getting dressed.

Since it is a little more than just an occasional meeting with Chanyeol, he allowed himselg to go with an attire more eye catching than the norm. A thin tight white turtleneck that he hasn't even worn before yet, a navy blue cardigan that he worn too many times, light blue jeans folded at the ankles, cute plaid socks in red and yellow, his glasses and of course his trusty marshmellow-like black coat on top of it all.

The two of them decided they'd meet outside the restaurant's entrance. This time it wasn't anything fancy at all. A place Kyungsoo has actually been to before. But really their location doesn't even matter.

A date's point is not to do things, but to be together while doing things. At least that's what Junmyeon told him when he asked him about the contents of a date. This will be a good opportunity to learn. No doubt that it'll be just fine.

They get along so well that he doubts even a bad environment could ruin their time together.

After a small fix of his hair in front of the mirror Kyungsoo was out the door, feeling great even though the sun is lying when it comes to the temperature. Any exposure to the sun is still good after so many weeks covered in clouds, though.

To make it convenient for them both to arrive easily, Chanyeol suggested they'd go to the known homey restaurant located on the curb of the main street's intersection in the middle of the city. Close enough to make the journey by foot. It feels almost formal even though there is not a single thing formal about this simple quite spontaneous date suggestion.

Within several minutes Kyungsoo made it to the main street. It's unsurprisingly crowded in every corner. Many people missed the sun a lot it seems.

Even so, the cold dry wind kniving his skin with every step he takes is less than fun.

All that's left is to cross the road and he'll be right in front of the restaurant. He remembers eating there with Minseok and Jongin once, they managed to bring Kyungsoo along to visit and support their good friend Jongdae, who works there in the management.

While standing at the front of the crowd and waiting for the light to turn green, Kyungsoo looked at his destination, finding that Chanyeol is already standing in front of him across the road with a wide grin and hands in the pockets of his long light brown trench coat. His entire neck is covered by a fluffy looking scarf, and just like Kyungsoo, his hair isn't styled at all.

It's casual and beautiful. His long figure looks even more powerful with this sort of coat, and Kyungsoo already feels the butterflies in his stomach urging him to reach his friend and stroke through his soft looking hair.

At the moment the light turned green Kyungsoo was the first to get on the road, in quick steps of joy he made his way towards the other side.

Except for some reason it felt like time was suddenly going really slowly. Really, really, slowly.

In front of him, mere steps away, Chanyeol's smile started fading away from his face. Its place took wide eyes, stressed brows and an opening mouth saying something in slowmotion, Kyungsoo wasn't really able to hear it, nor see it too properly.

Because his view started shifting sideways, slowly, everything was just so incredibly slow. Is he falling down? Why is his vision tilting so much?

There was no shine in Chanyeol's eyes anymore, only terror. His face turned pale and the soft pink blush on his cheeks vanished as if never existed. Kyungsoo's eyes turned to find the source of his balance change.

He heard the loud squeeking sound of car wheels and---

 

  
".....o, he just left?..."

Huh?

".....eah. About an hour ago, right when we entered..."

What are these voices? Although muffled, they sound awfully familiar.

"...Hey, look at this."

Kyungsoo's eyes felt incredibly heavy for some reason. But after rolling his eyes under his eyelids for a while he finally separated them open only to begin wincing at the bright light hitting right at his pupils.

His body then uncontrollably gasped for air, and it took him several more moments of utter confusion to come back to his senses. Slowly he stabilized his breathing pattern, then worked on opening his eyes properly, then while his mind focused on becoming conscious again, he started regaining sensation around his body.

"Kyungsoo? How are you feeling?"

A soft voice spoke from beside him.

With a wince and a grunt he managed to turn his head towards the owner of the voice, blinking his eyes at the blurry vision. He saw two hands approach his face and mount something on them.

A few blinks later he realized he can see a lot clearer. Ah, he must have been given his glasses.

Beside him sat two people. A concerned yet smiling Junmyeon, and a curious worried Jongin. Why are they here? Did they come to the restaurant as well?

He was about to open his mouth to respond with a calm normal 'I'm okay.' but at that moment his mind finally realized in what position he is, and where. He's half lying down in a goddamn hospital bed. Only half lying because his upper body is actually resting against hightened pillows. Quick to analyze his surrounding he noticed he's wearing his own clothes, still has his shoes on, and no blanket.

The air in the room felt humid and warm and Kyungsoo wanted to reach his arm out to grab the glass of water located on the cabinet beside his bed, but something is wrong. His arm doesn't follow his brain's orders.

Wait, no, it does, but it's restricted, and so numb that he can barely feel that he has an arm at all.

"Kyungsoo, it's fine. You're all fixed up."

A short examination down at where his arm is, he found that it is held against his body with a neatly wrapping white cloth. With some focus he was able to move his fingers and even the wrist a little bit. Phew. At least it's still functional.

"I'm okay, but... What...? Why am I in a hospital?"

Finally he turned to look at his friends again. Jongin sighed in relief and leaned back in the uncomfortable looking chair, while Junmyeon gently pet his shoulder and smiled still. Looking a lot more at ease now after Kyungsoo spoke.

"You were in an accident."

Huh?

He stared at the two in confusion. Jongin huffed out and leaned back towards his bed.

"Some crazy dude ran you over in a red light. You were out for a couple of hours and he was already taken by the police. Since you don't have insurance I'm pretty sure they'll need to talk to you as well to get it all covered."

Jongin explained calmly, making every word clear. Kyungsoo always likes it when Jongin speaks in such an educated manner. So even though the subject mentioned wasn't exactly anything positive, he smiled at his friend to express praise.

Both Junmyeon and Jongin probably didn't expect him to smile, so they burst into soft laughter together at the sight before Junmyeon pet his head again.

"If my glasses survived and are still intact... Did my phone survive as well?"

It did. Junmyeon grabbed it out of the pocket of Kyungsoo's own black coat resting folded on another cabinet and handed it to him, still in top condition without a single scartch. The coat must have protected it from harm. With his free arm Kyungsoo drank the water, and the three of them continued talking for a while.

Jongin explained that Chanyeol was the one who called the ambulance and rode it with Kyungsoo to the hospital. He called Jongin on the way there and told him what happened, asking him to take care of Kyungsoo before hanging up.

Apparently he waited beside him for an hour, until Junmyeon heard the news and took Sehun's car to drive both Jongin and himself to the hospital from the bar. And then when he saw them he bowed down deeply and left in a rush.

Oh, right.

Kyungsoo was supposed to be in a date with Chanyeol right now. His first date.

This will definitely be a memory to look back and laugh at in the future. What kind of hilarious first date gone wrong example would it be.

Hey, at least he's fine, his phone and glasses are fine, and none of his clothes even got dirty. It was a really light hit probably. Except for his arm which is not broken, but just a little weakened due to the impact, and the fact that he passed out for a while, he's completely fine. He reassured his friends of that.

A little while later a friendly looking police officer lady entered the room and questioned Kyungsoo about the event. He recalled anything he could remember, which wasn't a lot, but she seemed content with the given details and informed him that she just checked at the reception, and his hospital bill has been fully paid.

Oh wow, that driver must feel really sorry for what he'd done then. Or so he thought until he was told that the driver was arrested for not only this accident but also other various crimes. If not him, then who---

Chanyeol.

It can only be him. But if so then why would he just leave? A date in the hospital is still a date. Kyungsoo wouldn't mind it, honestly.

 

  
Not too long after that a doctor entered and gave Kyungsoo a final short check. Only his pulse, breathing, and whether or not he's able to move his wrist and fingers. Like the champion he is, Kyungsoo easily completed the task and was officially released from the dreadful place.

Junmyeon gladly drove him back home. Both him and Jongin even stayed with him in the apartment. Making sure he's comfortable, warm and hydrated while attempting their best at cooking him something nutritious to eat from whatever they could find in the little kitchen.

While the two of them were busy trying to figure out how to even use some of Kyungsoo's steaming tools, he made the best out of the situation and let his body relax on the couch. Wrapped up in his beloved living room fluffy blanket and rested against the comfortable pillows, he simply watched over his friends. He wouldn't want another disaster to happen.

But his mind kept tracing back to Chanyeol.

He felt bad for ruining their date, but at the same time he really didn't because it's not like he chose to be hit by a damn car. He wanted to confirm whether or not Chanyeol was really the one who paid the ambulance and hospital fees, he wanted to know why Chanyeol wasn't there with him when he woke up.

So with the amusing banter of his two good friends in the background, he called Chanyeol. The phone rang and rang for well over a minute and there was no answer.

He was alright. Even in a pretty good mood, looking at the bright side of the situation as a whole rather than the little less fun details. The fact that Jongin knows about it means he probably informed the rest of the bar staff, so Kyungsoo for sure will be excused from his upcoming shift the next day at the very least.

It's not like he's being selfish just because it happened to him. But really, his arm's going to take a few days to recover, and being run over is not a very common reason to skip on work. So it's only logical he will take advantage of it even a little bit. Just for a day.

He was lucky enough to have Chanyeol pay for the expenses of this event, because it means he really didn't lose anything. If the solution was for him to pay his mood would have not been as good as it was.

But how long can his good mood last while having no clue about Chanyeol's whereabouts?

From the last time Chanyeol was away and unreachable Kyungsoo knows nothing good lasts long when his mind's not at ease about the giant.

Maybe he's just busy. Maybe he returned to work, maybe there was an emergency with his family. Maybe something good happened. If only Chanyeol would have picked up his phone Kyungsoo would be able to stop speculating and putting his mind in stress.

It's frustrating that every single thing Chanyeol does can either rocket him up into bliss, or shove him down with worry and anxiety.

The more he thinks about Chanyeol the more nervous he gets. The more nervous he gets, the less apetite he has.

For a while he tried to distract himself by focusing on his friends who are working hard for him. He really appreciates their efforts. When he's healthy again he will have to think of something to do for them as well.

But it didn't last long. He directed his attention to the television, but it didn't work at all considering he had a hard time hearing any of it with Junmyeon and Jongdae bickering and laughing at each other while messing up his kitchen.

 

  
Eventually he grew tired of the noise and after sincerely thanking the pair for doing their best to help him out, he explained he just isn't hungry. They agree to leave only after reminding him that he has to stay at home and rest for the day. It's only the early evening and there are only a few hours left until his real tiredness will kick in.

Plus, he technically slept for a few hours at the hospital. Sort of.

The silence of his apartment was comforting until the moment he was faced with his own disasterous kitchen.

No, he's just exaggerating. They were actually doing a pretty good job uh, washing the vegetables and boiling water for rice. How on earth did the two of them make so much noise and so little progress?

Either way it's better like this. It was easier to simply pack everything back into the fridge and cabinets instead of doing any actual cleaning. They are such clowns, his friends. Kyungsoo can imagine how Junmyeon survives with Sehun. Sehun's really good at doing anything he puts his mind into.

But Jongin. The dude must be missing on some home cooked meals for years. Maybe once his arm gets better he could treat them for a proper Kyungsoo style meal. Handmade and prepared with a lot of love and gratitude for their kindness.

Wait, Jongin. He knew about the accident from Chanyeol. Does that mean he knows the reason the two of them planned to meet up at that restaurant as well? Chances are that he doesn't, because if he did he would have said something about it or teased Kyungsoo for it. Jongin is one of the only two people who actually know that Kyungsoo has a thing for tall guys.

Sehun doesn't really care about it, while Jongin knows that he's everybody's type, so he doesn't consider Kyungsoo's preference anything special.

Chanyeol, though.

After Chanyeol's arrival Kyungsoo's heart had already decided that rather than having a general type Kyungsoo gets attracted to, Chanyeol is it. Chanyeol IS the tall guys type. He is everything.

Everything always boils down to Chanyeol in the end.

How did it turn to this?

A heavy sigh left Kyungsoo's lips as he rubbed over his face with his free palm, and then ran it over his hair to pull it back. He feels filthy and stressed. Maybe a shower would help until his mind is cleared.

The idea sounded pleasant so he decide to act on it. Taking his clothes off was quite a challenge while using only one hand and trying to not move the other at all. The sleeves were the biggest obstacle, but once he was done with them everything else turned easier. Under the white cloth that held his wounded arm in place he saw only a few bruises and noticed the slight swolleness of the area.

Staying under the hot water actually did help him quite a lot. He made sure to stay there for as long as humanly possible. Allowing the stream to massage the top of his back while simply breathing in the humid heated air and exhaling all of his paranoid thoughts.

Many hours have already passed since the accident, but only now does his arm actually begin hurting. It's still a very muffled sort of pain, restrained by the leftover numbing effect of whatever treatment he received when he was unconcious. It's not a fun pain, but it's bearable.

Dressing up in his simple pajama joggers and large shirt was easier than undressing. He even managed to slide on his warm grey hoodie before wrapping the cloth around his arm in the same neat way it was tied against his body before.

He felt good for a little while. All warm and bundled in the clean feeling one gets right after a warm shower and fresh pajamas.

But it didn't last long. Because sitting in front of his television all alone only made him think of Chanyeol's presence more. Who knew he will ever feel any sort of longing for any human being in his life. He's so used to being alone that dealing with such emotions takes a pretty heavy toll on his mood.

Another failed attempt to contact Chanyeol turned the sadness of being alone into light frustration and determination.

What's gotten into him? Since when is he so helpless and self pitying? He is Kyungsoo after all. He's survived his entire life so far by being him. Nobody would have taken care of him if it wasn't for himself, so he should have more confidence.

He knew that Chanyeol is supposed to be free this entire day, so there's a high chance he will be able to meet him by simply going over and knocking on his door.

 

  
With new found courage Kyungsoo rose back to his feet, slid his socked feet into his simple house slippers, grabbed his keys and left the place. Still in the rush of the moment he made it to his neighbouring apartment complex and climbed up the stairs up to apartment number sixty one.

When stepping on the very last stair, the realization of his actions hit him. The extremely cold dry air also hit him right in the face, and palms, and every bit of exposed skin he shows to the world.

Is he an idiot? What if Chanyeol really is busy with something important and he'll disturb him? What if Chanyeol really isn't home and he's made a fool out of himself for going out dressed so poorly against the freezing temperature? What if Chanyeol doesn't want him there? Nah. That's actually the most unrealistic possibility out of all of them.

Well, if his friend is gone then he will just hurry back home and call it a day. But if he's home then surely Kyungsoo will be let in right away, so even though in these short moments of contemplation he feels the chill crawl under his skin, Chanyeol's place is always warm. More than his own.

He made it to the little staircase platform right in front of Chanyeol's apartment door and sighed. Feeling more exhausted than usual. And he isn't sure if it's because of the crazy day he's had or his condition, or maybe just the cold air prickling the inside of his lungs with icy needles from the effort of climbing up the stairs he's so used to passing over.

For a moment he just stood there to stabilize his breathing pattern, but while doing so he noticed the light coming from the tiny window located near the corner between the kitchen unit and the living room in the apartment is on. Which means his friend is definitely home. He felt relieved immediately and regained his wavering confidence.

A few knocks on the door are enough. Kyungsoo stood in front of the door and waited.

It's really cold. He felt that his jaw began locking itself and his knees shaking. Going inside to get warmer is his biggest wish at this moment. Getting dressed with anything warmer like a coat or meddling with proper shoes would be too painful for his arm.

But Chanyeol doesn't answer.

He knocked again, a little louder this time to make sure the sound came through. Still no answer, but Kyungsoo could hear that there is something going on inside. Movement, or maybe the television, the lights are on as well. He must be there.

"Chanyeol? What the fuck? Open up already, I'm freezing!"

Kyungsoo attempted to exclaim loudly at the door. At least in his own apartment if someone as so walks near his door he can hear it. So it can't be any different with this identically built building.

But then why did his friend not open the door yet? What is going on? Kyungsoo started regretting the whole idea of being confident and brave and trying to interact with Chanyeol at all. He also regrets not grabbing the apartment's extra key he was given before.

Nothing happens.

No answer from his friend not at the door and not at the phone and not anywhere. While Kyungsoo's bones are starting to freeze and the cold spreads to the back side of his brain, he feels like a total moron.

This is not right. This is actually infuriating. Leaving his side before he even woke up earlier in the hospital is one thing. Not answering the phone is still understandable to some extent, but ignoring him while being right there at home? This is just pure disrespect. There is no way Chanyeol didn't hear his shout.

The giant knows him by now. He knows he wouldn't be shouting outside like this if he didn't sincerely mean what he says. Then why? Why does he choose to leave Kyungsoo out in the cold like this?

Anger easily started boiling deep in his stomach and spread through his body. But it was cold anger. Nagging irritation of being the victim of a humiliating act. Kyungsoo came here with good intentions and this is what he gets?

No point getting this annoyed over the situation. Over anything, really. Kyungsoo knows better than to allow his feelings to control anything about his life. Whatever. He can deal with the giant on another time.

A sigh and a gentle frozen rub of his finger tip over his eyes later, Kyungsoo made his mind to return home and let this dreadful day end.

 

  
But right when he turned his body back towards the staircase in order to leave, he heard the clickling of a lock and the quiet metalic creak of Chanyeol's door handle being held down. The door opened behind him and lit the cement platform he's standing on, leaving the shadow of his own body to spread over the rest of the stairs.

He turned back and saw Chanyeol standing there. Holding the door open for him. But he made no eye contact. His eyes were puffy, his nose red along with the tips of his ears, a hint of a frown across his lips, and a massive feel of exhaustion from the whole expression.

"Finally."

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and approached the entrance, any sort of warmth will be better than spending even ten more seconds outside. Maybe he just misunderstood Chanyeol and got upset over nothing at all. A pretty rare occurance, but with the way Chanyeol succeeds in squeezing every sort of emotion out of his heart, he isn't too surprised.

His slipper's soles dragged lightly against the ground as he stepped into the apartment. He passed beside Chanyeol, and was observant enough to notice how Chanyeol curved his body away from him when he entered. As if trying to not to touch him at all. What is that supposed to mean?

The door was closed and Kyungsoo felt immediate relief, being engulfed by the pleasant, cosy temperature of Chanyeol's apartment.

No need for formalities. He walked over to the living room and let his body fall down on the couch, groaning with the tiny wave of pain that washed over his arm when his elbow accidentally hit against the back of the couch lightly. But sitting down certainly does ease the quick reduction of his energy.

Chaneyol is silent.

Kyungsoo followed him with his eyes, but it was obvious he was avoiding looking back as he stood in front of the couch and sat himself down on the carpet to watch the television. His back towards Kyungsoo as well.

"Chanyeol? What's up with you? You look like shit... Anything happened?"

What is going on? Why is Chanyeol behaving so weirdly? Something must have happened after Kyungsoo's accident that made him this closed off and low.

He remained silent without responding.

"Hey, don't ignore me. I'm right here---"

"You shouldn't be."

His voice was cold and harsh. Hoarse and dripping spite. Kyungsoo took a few seconds of shock to recollect himself. He shouldn't be here at Chanyeol's place? If there is one thing Kyungsoo was actually confident about, it is the fact that he knows for sure that Chanyeol would always want him there.

Was he wrong? Did he have too much faith? Was he putting too much weight of burden on Chanyeol by thinking that?

In his head to told himself to calm down and relax, there must be some sort of misunderstanding going on. Chanyeol wouldn't just dissmiss their closeness like this.

"What? Why? I wanted to see how you're doing. Must have been scary to see me... Uh, get flung around like that earlier today."

Kyungsoo would have also entered a state of shock if he saw one of his friends in danger, but he would probably stay by his friend's side until they're safe again. Just like he stayed with Chanyeol in the rain back when they met.

He can't see Chanyeol's face from the angle they're sitting at, but he does spot his palm tightening into a fist so strong it turns his knuckles white from the effort. He huffed out some heated breaths, which means he probably plans to talk now.

There's tension in the air.

"You want to know if anything happened? Well, something did happen. YOU happened. I'm sorry, but goddamnit Kyungsoo. I saw you get fucking run over and you expect me to be calm about it?!"

When he began talking his tone was fairly neutral, but until he reached the end of the sentence there was so much anger and frustration in his voice that Kyungsoo's whole body turned stiff.

Chanyeol slammed his clenched fist against the carpet a moment later and curled his back forward, lowering himself towards his own knees while huffing with such intense emotions. His face was even less visible than before, but Kyungsoo could see that he's probably gritting his teeth together. His eyes shut tight.

He wasn't able to say a word to react. He wasn't able to move either. All Kyungsoo's body registered from the action commands coming from his brain was the feeling of the ground shaking from the high potency of negativity in the air.

The apartment was warm, but Kyungsoo felt cold. So cold he nearly shivered.

"You should stay the fuck away from me."

Chanyeol spoke airily now, rough and choked. He was hunched down into his own body, gripping tight onto his knee with one hand and covering his face with the other.

How the hell is Kyungsoo supposed to stay away from him when he's like this? Kyungsoo is scared, but not from Chanyeol himself. Only from how violently his feelings are torturing him from the inside. Anything good makes Chanyeol high on happiness, and anything bad can ignite a ticking bomb that if not defused, explodes into exactly this.

 

  
He's in so much agony because of his own mind and heart playing tricks on him, and Kyungsoo simply can't leave him like this.

"Chanyeol---"

"No, okay. No."

The giant then huffed with immense internal effort and pushed himself up to his feet with strength filled movements. Almost like he hoped that he'll mess up and hurt himself somehow.

His head remained low, bangs covering his eyes, but not the way his muscles are under so much pressure due to the anger flowing through him. This anger isn't turned towards Kyungsoo, he knows that much. But he's afraid he'll touch the bomb's fuse and trigger a sequence of events that could not be traced back.

Hands still tightened into fists of regret, self hatred and frustration, body twitching lightly from just how strongly the muscles over his body are all flexed.

Kyungsoo lifted himself off the couch, he wants to see Chanyeol, see his face, he wants to stroke his cheek and ruffle his hair and tell him that there's nothing to worry about because he's right there.

But Chanyeol's back is so large, so wide and so tense at the moment, that even though he wanted to gently turn him around, it feels like there's an invisible wall made of sharp spikes that'll prick his skin if only he tried to move any closer.

His friend inhaled shakingly, shoulders rising up and down with the effort of possibly holding back inner urges. And then huffed heavily.

"Get out."

He suddenly said in an assertive cold tone again.

"...What?"

Is Chanyeol really going to banish him? Kick him out? Is he going to be exiled from coming back?

"Get out. Get out of my house. I don't want you here. If you get any closer to me you'll end up fucking dead Kyungsoo."

Oh.

He's serious. Cold, harsh, pained.

It hurts so bad to hear Chanyeol say such words in such a fierce manner. For a moment he almost believed it, until he saw the way Chanyeol's whole body suddenly jerked and his head lowered even more.

Still standing behind him, Kyungsoo envisioned the sharp spikes are slowly moving closer and closer to him. With the charged energy in the air he is already feeling like millions of little sharp edges are pressing against his skin.

There's so much static in the distance between them.

But Kyungsoo knows that it all comes from Chanyeol's battle within himself. It wasn't Kyungsoo who triggered this bomb, it was what happened to him that lit these explosive thoughts on fire.

Chanyeol's got a delicate soul. He's selfless and the reason behind all this rage must lie in something he blames himself for.

"Don't be ridiculous. I came here because I wanted to see you."

The giant in front of him let out a creepy sounding snicker as his shoulders twitched with the noise. He began turning around to finally face Kyungsoo.

"Yeah, you crossed the road because you want to see me too. Look where that got you."

When he finished turning around, their eyes finally locked. Kyungsoo was expecting to see a snarky smile, maybe an expression like he's laughing at him.

But all he saw was wetness gathering on Chanyeol's bottom eyelids, and pain. His lips were curved in a sort of twisted smile, but there was no joy behind it. Only agony. He's in such great pain right now and Kyungsoo feels powerless against it. The sadness is overwhelming.

Chanyeol's dry half smile began fading quickly, his head lowered towards the ground again with his eyes covered with the tips of his hair. Kyungsoo can't leave. Even though he's filled with a very subtle fear that Chanyeol might crack and do something unexpected, he's still gravitated towards him.

His friend's large hand raised up slowly towards his own face, he smacked himself in the face and began rubbing all over.

"I'm fucking cursed Kyungsoo. Anything and anyone that gets too close to me ends up dead."

He sounded defeated, broken down, beaten. But at least Kyungsoo knew this was the confirmation that the reason for Chanyeol's chaotic state of mind was revolved around his own feelings of grief, guilt, regret and the deep sorrow.

 

  
This could be the moment he was waiting for, there are no spikes pressing against his skin, maybe this short period of honest vulnerability is what Kyungsoo needed in order to penetrate through Chanyeol's thick shield of selflessness turned into self hatred.

He took a step forward towards his hurting friend slowly, and gathered all the positivity he had left in him in order to give Chanyeol a small smile warm enough that it'd convince him things are okay.

"What are you talking about, I'm perfectly fine. My arm's not even broken. It's not your fault. It was the mad driver."

He spoke gently. There was no reaction.

"It's NOT your fault. Your old girlfriend, Yixing too, they were not your faul---"

"Shut up."

Chanyeol cut right through his words coldheartedly.

"Just shut up and leave this place. I won't be able to handle it if anything happens to you again because of me! Fucking leave!"

He raised his voice into an alarming high volume, voice strained by choked emotions combined with dryness.

His face raised back up and he looked down at Kyungsoo. Although his eyes were still slightly damp from held back tears, there was no emotional shine in them. Now it was just pure rage. Now it was Chanyeol's anger taking over him and leaving no space for his mind.

All the while speaking, he made wild stiff hand gestures suggesting for Kyungsoo to understand him. His arm was held towards his apartment door's direction at the end. Stretched and flexed.

Kyungsoo could see the blood running in his friend's eyes, the way his breathing turned into heavy agitated huffs.

He was taken aback by the massive amount of darkness being emitted from Chanyeol's core, he gave off a threatening vibe, but just for a little while. Kyungsoo has had a long enough day, and if Chanyeol isn't able to deal with the situation like the mature adult that he is, Kyungsoo will have to show him that he isn't giving up.

It's ridiculous anyway, to fight like this over something that Chanyeol clearly made up in his head. But it's hurting him. And from that, it's hurting Kyungsoo as well.

Kyungsoo assured a stable standing stance in front of Chanyeol, and when his lungs were filled with air he straightened his back and invaded his personal space.

"It's not because of you, you freaking fool. It's not your fault, shit happens! Get this stupid idea out of your head! Some drivers are fucking horrific and it has nothing to do with you!"

His voice also raised in volume, he felt the strain on his throat to speak this loudly, but he knew he has to stick with it. Without any fear he shoved his healthy hand against Chanyeol's chest and pushed him back lightly.

It wasn't in order to show any strength, because he clearly is the loser if it comes down to a physical fight. He just wanted to prove his point.

"I'm not going."

Kyungsoo claimed definitively right after, his usable hand lowered down to grip against his own hip and assume another confident position in front of Chanyeol.

The giant stared at him unfazed. Still with the same hostile darkness in his eyes, same furrowed brows, same clenched jaw and same deep heartache. Kyungsoo stared right back at him with conviction, earnestness and valor.

"If you want anyone to leave you'll have to do it yourself."

He added boldly.

But deep down he started wondering what will he do in Chanyeol just plucks him right off the ground then and there, and throws him out of the apartment. He'll be in trouble. But there's no way Chanyeol will take this so literally.

Their gaze remained as assertive as possible towards both participants, until Chanyeol's silence was broken.

"Fine."

Was all he said before shutting his lips tightly, passing by Kyungsoo like he was not even there, grabbing his coat, and leaving.

When he opened the door to exit, Kyungsoo was hit with an invasive wave of cold air, the sound of strong wind echoed from just this opening at the end of the hallway. It must be really bad outside, and yet Chanyeol stepped out there and shut the door behind him with only his coat for protection.

Well, whatever.

Now Kyungsoo's here on his own.

 

  
He spent the first few minutes just standing in the vacant apartment by himself. The only sounds he could hear were the heater roaring, the low volume of the television, and his own sped up heart beat slowly calming down. Very slowly.

A frown and a few huffs later, Kyungsoo realized that all of his muscles are very tense. So he shut his eyes and paid attention to his breathing. Inhale through the nose, and exhale through the mouth. Like this, the stress steamed out of his body and affectively decreased the light pain he felt in his arm from the quickened blood flow.

Feeling at home in Chanyeol's apartment after his extremely frequent visits here, he got himself some water in the mug he knows Chanyeol loves the most. Because he wanted to. And nobody here is to tell him no.

With the mug in his hand he walked back to the living room and flopped on the couch, this time being careful not to hit his wrapped arm on anything.

He stared at the television blankly while sipping on his water, but his eyes didn't even translate anything he saw to his brain. It was just shapes moving and making weird bubbly sounds on the screen.

A few minutes like this, and he found himself with his head leaning backwards, stretching his neck while staring at the ceiling.

Chanyeol is a fucking idiot.

Minutes passed slowly, but turned into hours. And many hours together are a pretty long period of time to spend alone in someone else's house.

Kyungsoo already raided Chanyeol's snack cabinet and ended up finishing a japanese takoyaki flavoured snack without noticing. He was hungry, alright? He hasn't eaten anything all day. His apetite was satisfied with the snack though, so the raid wasn't much of a raid after all.

He started getting sleepy.

At some point he even found himself starting to fall asleep, but although his body was relaxed his mind was churning through worries and paranoia regarding Chanyeol's safety outside. His anxiety was getting out of control when the mark of three hours passing came to his attention.

Even though he really wanted to stand his ground to prove Chanyeol that he won't leave this apartment, because it's a stupid ego game that he simply cannot lose, he just can't help it.

Trying to call Chanyeol would be too embarrassing, so the best chance he has is to go outside and hope he'll be able to find him.

The conclusion he came to was that he has to do it. Chanyeol's well being is way more important than a silly game of childish pride. Kyungsoo went into Chanyeol's bedroom and grabbed the first warm looking piece of clothing he could find. Which was the very long trench coat his friend was wearing this morning for their date.

The feeling of wearing it was bittersweet. Esepcially when he knew that the length of the coat reached Chanyeol's knees, but when he wears it the bottom of the coat reaches his ankles.

Curiousity was very strong, repeating in his mind that he should just stay and explore the dark depths of Chanyeol's secret room staches. Who knows what he'll be finiding hidden under the magazines lying in the cabinet right next to his bed.

But his heart was beating louder than his impolite need to tour every nook in the room.

Right before leaving the room he noticed a small frame hanging on the wall right beside the closet. He fixed his glasses properly and gave it a closer look. A simple white frame smaller than the size of his own palm, and inside it sits a single white guitar pick with the letters 'ZYX' scribbled on it with black marker.

Did this... Belong to Yixing?

Kyungsoo stared at it for quite a while before the image of his first meeting with Chanyeol popped back in his mind. Followed by an imaginative picture of Chanyeol possibly standing on the ledge of the bridge above the highway and letting his body fall down to his doom.

With resurfaced panic he shook the awful idea of this event actually happening out of his head and made it right to the apartment's door in quick steps. Shit, if he leaves and closes the door behind him he wouldn't be able to enter again without taking the spare key out of his own apartment.

Well, fuck it, Chanyeol is the priority right now.

He frantically placed his hand on the door's handle and---

 

  
Before he could push the handle down in order to open the door, he felt it go down on it's own without him putting any force into the action. Huh...?

Then the door got pulled and Kyungsoo quickly let go of the handle. Wincing at the freezing air hitting him right in the face before his eyes are met with Chanyeol's bewildered expression. Except for the loud wind blowing through the opening of Chanyeol's apartment there's silence.

The two of them just stare at each other with mutual surprise.

Kyungsoo only so as huffed out the air that he forgot to exhale for the past shocked seconds, and Chanyeol's face took a turn for the worse. His cheeks, eyes, nose and ears are bright and red, his lips chapped and it's clear that he has been crying out there wherever he stayed all these hours.

"Kyungsoo... I'm sorry. Kyungsoo---..."

The giant began mumbling. Eyes flushed with a new wave of wetness, and an honest sorrowful frown filled with so much remorse and misery. His anger is entirely gone as if never existed and there is not a drop of threat about the way his shoulders drape downwards in surrender.

He's here.

Kyungsoo broke their eye contact, stepping backwards into the house and allowing Chanyeol to enter before shutting the door after him and sighing out with a mixture of relief and the need to keep up the serious facade to make sure Chanyeol understands he's being scolded.

He then walked back to the living room, followed by Chanyeol like a shadow, he easily slid the trenchcoat on the side of the couch and sat down.

The silence was broken only when Chanyeol lowered himself down to his knees on the carpet right in front of Kyungsoo's spot on the sofa and sniffled. Eyes looking down at the floor in shame while shining with newly formed tears. It's such an obedient apologetic position, Kyungsoo started feeling a little bad about the whole deal of trying to stay serious.

"Chanyeol... Come here."

Kyungsoo gave in and leaned forward to him, wrapping his healthy arm around Chanyeol's head and resting his head on top of the other's slightly damp hair that smelled like his shampoo and the cold.

Large arms then slide over his sides and beind his back, caging his waist in a hold while Chanyeol pulled up and buried himself into Kyungsoo's hold. Still on his knees. He was just breathing against Kyungsoo's chest, quicker than usual and a little uneven because of his struggle to hold back his tears. He's cold, the outside of his coat is cold and Kyungsoo gently trails the fingers of his tied hand over the back of Chanyeol's head.

"Next time please don't let your brain play you like this, fool..."

He said in a calm soft tone. Having Chanyeol in his arms like this made his heart feel like it's complete again. Chanyeol's so, so big. But everytime Kyungsoo's arms are around him he becomes the smallest. Small and fragile.

The arms wrapped around his waist tightened their grip on his body before slight trembling began running over Chanyeol's body.

"I don't want to lose you---..."

Kyungsoo's heart jumped a little hearing these words. The two of them do talk a lot, and often, but hearing such a bold statement of actual attachment still is new and fresh for Kyungsoo's emotions to handle.

It must be Chanyeol's bottled fear after the terrifying experiences he went through. Losing one important person after another, not long ago at all either. So Kyungsoo shouldn't let this statement fill him with too much thrill and hope.

At times like these when Kyungsoo has to partake as Chanyeol's little safe space, he shouldn't allow his own heart to take over.

"Good. So don't shoo me out of your house again."

Kyungsoo replied in a little bit of a cheeky manner, but it came out as barely anything engaging due to his body's sudden state of exhaustion and soothe after hours of constant unconscious worry and stress.

 

  
He could feel Chanyeol huff some air out against his chest and assumed it's his way to express laughter at the moment. The two of them are seriously drained right now. It's late, and although Kyungsoo doesn't have any plans for tomorrow, his body starts betraying his commands.

Slowly he feels how his limbs go weaker and his body curls down around Chanyeol loosely from being physically unable to keep his back straight. A yawn managed to escape from his lips right above his friend's head. It wouldn't be so bad to fall asleep like this, with the pleasant warmth emitting from Chanyeol's way bigger body all of a sudden.

Kyungsoo really doesn't want to make the two minutes walk back to his own place. He doesn't know if he's able to with how low on fuel he is.

"Deal."

Chanyeol muffled into his clothes, and somehow slid his arms around Kyungsoo so that without a warning, and surprisingly effortlessly, he was able to lift Kyungsoo's body up in the air. A hold meant for some fairytale princess that Kyungsoo really doesn't aspire to be.

But hey, it saved him the energy or walking the whole seven steps from the couch to Chanyeol's bed.

Another yawn left him when he felt the way Chanyeol ever so gently lowered him down on the bed and hurried to pull off his slippers. Lying in a horizontal position already raised his sleepy meter at least three scales higher.

With his eyes closed, he felt Chanyeol's long fingers caress his cheeks and pull off his glasses before stroking through his hair slowly. And oh wow, he really does not want this sensation to stop. It's warm, and Kyungsoo could definitely use a heater during the night.

But when he managed to crack open his eyes a little, he noticed Chanyeol's large figure of a body turn around to leave. With no hesitation he reached his healthy hand out and grabbed a hold of his friend's wrist.

"Where are you going...?"

"I'll take the couch."

What a waste of perfectly good natural source of comfort would it be if Chanyeol actually slept all the way behind the wall on the couch that's clearly not fitting his size for a proper night's sleep?

Kyungsoo couldn't let that happen. He puckered his lips in a sleepy pout and shut his heavy eyes again while attempting to pull Chanyeol towards him by the grip on his hand.

"No."

He could hear Chanyeol sigh with what sounded like contentment. Then a few rumbles of fabrics shifting, wooden closet doors opening and closing and steps on the floor later, weight finally joined him on the bed.

"Just don't squeeze me too much..."

Kyungsoo mumbled out a requirement. A rule maybe.

He would have moved towards Chanyeol if his body was able to do so, but in this case he didn't need to. Because his friend adjusted their position closer together on his own.

Deep soft breaths repeated in a slow pattern above his ear, and Chanyeol's entire body was wrapped around him from behind like an extra layer of a blanket. Legs pressing Kyungsoo's own into a comfortable curled position, one arm folded on his waist and the other, with caution Kyungsoo could actually feel, over his wounded arm gently.

"Please sleep well."

Chanyeol's husky whisper blew and tickled his ear lightly. He's being sincere.

"Good night, Chanyeol."

Are these Chanyeol's lips he feels pressed against the back of his head?

Because he'd really love it if so.

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

 

  
What a treat. Sort of.

The morning after their closely huddled sleep together, Kyungsoo woke up with low but obvious pain in the arm. He made sure not to give it away, because he knew his friend and right now also tight, warm and cosy cuddler would begin fussing about it. Lying like this with Chanyeol's body wrapped around him from behind is one of the best things he's ever experienced.

The treat was that when they both woke up properly, Kyungsoo got to boss Chanyeol around the little kitchen of his own apartment to make breakfast. It was pretty hilarious, how clueless he swayed towards the cabinets.

Clearly, he was doing it in a comical manner just to lift up their moods. Because Kyungsoo already knew he was a great cook himself and there was no need for his instructions.

It felt more like a sort of silly game that they both enjoyed.

The final product of breakfast was also thoroughly enjoyed until the very last bite. And Kyungsoo spent the few hours Chanyeol had before work, togehter with him in the warm apartment.

There weren't any remnants of the emotional storm that's been wilding in this place just the previous night. This is the quiet after the storm. Their time to heal from the mess they've borne through. Yesterday Chanyeol's state was as bare as an open wound, but now it feels like his internal battles have subsided.

The way his shoulders were loose and relaxed, the way he moved his body in a calm almost smooth way instead of his usual slightly rigid sorts of movements. He spoke with ease as well, smiled and even laughed a little bit whenever there was a chance.

It was a pleasant half of a day until Chanyeol had to head out to work and Kyungsoo transferred himself back home and spent the hours resting and drinking almost twice the amount of tea he usually does in order to try and battle the hurting numb sensation in his arm.

According to what he was told, in about three more days he will be able to let his arm free again and start using it. Which was great.

It was great until he realized he will have to go to work with only one arm functioning the next day.

In any way, Jongin has been extremely helpful about it. When Kyungsoo came to work, arm all tied, his performance at work depending on how long his painkillers will last, he found out that Jongin actually changed all of his shifts for the week to sync up with Kyungsoo's so that he could be around in case he needs any assistance.

Kyungsoo's heart melted from the kind thoughtful gesture, and continued melting down even further every time Jongin came around and asked how he felt, helpd him balance a tray, dealt with the irritating customers and generally kept an eye out on him.

Minseok too, was going out of his way to help Kyungsoo in every way he could. And Kyungsoo realized that his colleagues, his good precious friends were really like a small community. A family even.

Each staff member working at the bar has their own back story that's often filled with more pain than the average person, but together they were always able to bring each other up when they were low. Most of the staff spent years working together in this place. The newest worker is the lady that takes over Minseok's job and she's already been around for almost an entire year.

Even Baekhyun, who Kyungsoo has kept in contact with at the moment he knew his number, was there for him every day through happy messages of silly jokes, his aunt's cooked goods and constant updates about their new adorable corgi puppy.

Kyungsoo might have set one of the pup's pictures as the background of his phone's screen.

Baekhyun suggested coming to visit him one day so they could spend some time together, but Kyungsoo had fully returned to his usual work routine, which leaves too few hours each day for Baekhyun to be worth the travel all the way to his place.

The only thing that didn't go back to normal was Chanyeol.

 

  
After the incident it felt like Chanyeol was being distant again. Did he not understand anything of what Kyungsoo had told him about staying away from him? Was cuddling all night not good enough?

They met only once for the past two weeks because Kyungsoo came over for a surprise visit at the apartment, and everything seemed normal really. But before that visit and right when it ended there was nothing else.

They barely even text each other anymore. Kyungsoo is always the one to start a conversation, the one to text first, to try.

It could just be Chanyeol's work schedule squeezing the soul out of him and turning him into a muted log, because he has been extra busy lately. Or at least Kyungsoo wants to believe so, in order to give himself an unharmful excuse as to why his friend feels so far away that he can't reach him at all.

Where there was warmth between the two of them, and soft mutual excitement to stay in contact and talk often, now there's only distant echoing silence. Chanyeol's become cold.

Kyungsoo's the first to text, to call, to initiate any sort of communication. And it's tiring. Not only because it generally is tough to be social at all times, but because it's Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo who doesn't care about people or their feelings. Kyungsoo who can't stay commited and would rather spend his time all on his own than with any other living creature.

Chanyeol changed that, but now it became even more of a problem, because Kyungsoo actually feels lonely. Spending some time with his friends sure does help a lot, they've been his everything for years. But at the end of the day when he lies in bed and scrolls through his phone it feels utterly miserable to see no new messages from Chanyeol. No sweet goodnights, no silly emojis spams, nothing. Sometimes Chanyeol doesn't even read his messages.

And it hurts.

Because Kyungsoo would have expected a person who asked him out and confessed his love to him, a person who he literally went on a date with, to actually be more persistant. Well, the date went horribly wrong, but it wasn't their fault. They've already gotten over that.

So why? Why would Chanyeol suddenly give him such a cold shoulder? Did he lose interest because it was just not convenient enough? Too much trouble?

Actually, that would make a lot of sense. Chanyeol's the son of a freaking airline company owner. He could scarily easily grab whoever he wants and end up with them. Because let's be real, who would be able to refuse him?

Kyungsoo could. But now he surely can't. Because he's selfish. And after Chanyeol has invaded such an enormous space in his heart and his whole being, he can't just turn around and walk away. It doesn't work like this.

How on earth did it get to the point where Kyungsoo's the one whose mind is revolving around the giant while Kyungsoo was the one who got confessed to and not the other way around.

This is the worst.

It starts affecting him at work. Days ago he had a reason to be slow, he had only one functioning arm. But now, when all pieces of his body are working properly, he's still just as unproductive at work because of his mind.

Last time he had this much trouble going through every single day was because he couldn't communicate with Chanyeol due to technical reasons, and he was agonized with worry.

This time waking up became a dreadful chore within itself, and every day is longer and two times as tiring because he can't communicate with Chanyeol due to... What reasons actually?

Oh right, because he's being heartlessly ignored by the man who claimed his love for him.

Maybe he missed his chance for real this time. He had already thought it happened before, but now there isn't a more obvious sign getting no response from him.

At moments like these Kyungsoo is yet again reminded just how valuable are his relationships with his friends. Because when he didn't pay attention and broke a glass it was Jongin who took the blame, and when he tripped over and spilled the food on the floor his lady friends helped him clean it all up.

When he messed up the drink order and caused a customer to have a nasty allergic reaction Minseok was the one to take care of the situation under his responsibility, and now, in this end of a frustrating day shift he worked with Sehun, he was invited over to his place for a cup of coffee.

Lies, both of them prefer hot chocolate over coffee.

 

  
But he went anyway. Something in the way Sehun gave him the offer was filled with more caution than his usual laid back way of inviting him.

Sehun drove them there. Kyungsoo is always impressed all over again whenever he gets rides from Sehun. Because wow, he has his life all figured out and lives comfortably while Kyungsoo's surviving on the bare minimum.

It isn't jealousy, because Kyungsoo truly doesn't want anything more than what he already has. Just pure awe and pride.

He loves Sehun and Junmyeon's place. A proper serious living apartment in an actual building with a parking spot, an intercome and even elevator. It was a fairly new building too, and with a cleaning crew that comes once a week to wash the floors, swipe the door handles and shine the mirror in the elevator, it looks almost luxurious.

The building is nice and all, but their apartment is a whole other story. The two of them are known to be pretty messy and lazy when it comes to keeping things tidy, and yet it somehow still stays clean.

It's so spacious, there are large windows right above the couches in the living room, and a whole room dedicated to the kitchen and dining table. They have the master bedroom occupied, but also a small office room and another spare bedroom as well.

Kyungsoo spent a few nights there before. Especially when they were celebrating something like a birthday and alcohol was involved. He's not yet certain what type of drunk he is, but according to his friends' report he is the 'undetectable drunk' until he starts doing random little things with utmost attention and seriousness. That's when he'd be placed in the bed and pass out within seconds.

So they're out of the elevator on the correct floor and Sehun's keys are dangling noisly from how many different keys and keychains are hanging onto it. But before he can even insert the key in the hole the door opens with Junmyeon standing and smiling on the other side.

After a warmly exchanged hug between Kyungsoo and him, Sehun planted an affectionate short peck to Junmyeon's lips while stroking the back of his head, and they entered.

Kyungsoo adores the way this place smells.

They took off their coats and shoes and settled calmly in the living room while Junmyeon prepared tea for the three of them. Then after the three's thrist was quenched, Sehun placed his mug down and began rubbing the back of his head.

"So uhm. Kyungsoo. Junmyeon and I have been talking... I mean. I saw you were having trouble at work and we talked about it for a while,"

Sehun spoke, his eyes moving from one random spot to another as if he's too nervous to make eye contact with Kyungsoo for some reason. But Kyungsoo was touched. Very deeply touched. Because Sehun has been watching him, and noticed the way his sanity was deteriorating, and was worried enough to talk with Junmyeon about it.

Really, what did Kyungsoo ever do to deserve such wonderful people as his friends? Sehun didn't even say what he meant and yet Kyungsoo's emotions were already pretty strong.

"We just wanted to talk with you, you know? It looks like something is really bothering you... You look tired and keep being distracted. I'm worried. We are worried."

He continued, despite of being the youngest in their group of friends, Sehun's maturity is probably one of the highest on the scale. He's sensitive, calculated, deep and kind. Everything in just the right amount.

And after him Junmyeon. Who nodded with concerned eyes raised at Kyungsoo through Sehun's words. Hard working, cautious, loving, and smart. They are the best pair for each other, and the best pair for everyone else around them, together.

Kyungsoo wasn't sure what to do with his body, he was comfortable, but started getting giddy from the weird feeling of true warmth wrapping around him solely from just how much energy and care they are giving him right now.

His old self would have brushed it off and said he was just fine. He would have pushed it aside until his heart would forget it had any reason to feel anything at all.

But present Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo whose chunk of the heart is missing, taken by one tall man with large ears, needs to remind himself to stay in focus so he wouldn't let his emotions burst at any point.

"Kyungsoo, you've been through a lot lately, it's okay. We know you don't really want any sort of material aid. But it makes us sad seeing you like this. So please, if it's fine with you, please talk to us? Both Sehun and I are here for you."

Junmyeon continued from where Sehun stopped, reaching his arm out and stroking over Kyungsoo's back slowly to try and comfort him. Other than Sehun's obviously relieved face from not having to struggle finding the right words to explain what Junmyeon just said, which brought a small smile to Kyungsoo's lips, it worked.

 

  
Kyungsoo breathed slowly for a while, searching for the right words to thank his couple of marvelous friends. And after making sure they know just how much he appreciates their concern and good intentions and general care and affection, he began explaining everything.

He told them about the way he met Chanyeol in the rain, about Baekhyun, about how their relationship has been one hell of a trip so far. He complained about being the one that keeps on giving so much of himself to Chanyeol but barely getting anything back in the past weeks.

Then he came to the more confusing questions he wasn't sure he asked them or himself. Like why is he even bothered by at all? Why do his emotions run wild like this just because of distance? Why does he feel so attached to him to begin with? It's not like Chanyeol owes him anything for his good intentions, right?

Kyungsoo was the one who helped him at first, he brought this upon himself, and yet after Chanyeol had expressed the way he feels towards him he can't seem to be able to push it down and go on with his life like he would have in any other case. He's been confessed to before. Many times by drunk customers, a little fewer times by people who were serious about wanting to build something with him.

But none of these times ever made him feel so lonely, and desperate, and sad. So very sad.

He misses Chanyeol so much, but it just hurts.

There's always this subtle worry at the back of his mind as well, that at any moment if he will mess up and say the wrong words or possibly hurt Chanyeol, he will be gone. Forever. Not just too far to meet, too far underground in a coffin. And it's driving him insane. Is it just him being paranoid? Or is it because of the nature of the way they met? Or maybe it's just his brain's weird way of translating his feelings into fears because he doesn't know how to deal with actual longing?

Sehun and Junmyeon both listened to him attentively. Promoted more questions and provided more reassuring hums and proper reactions to more shocking facts.

It was weird. It felt strange for Kyungsoo to suddenly talk about this all, he's known for being the tough nut to open up when it comes to his heart and emotions, but now it's probably gotten to the point of no return.

Where it wasn't anything postive that penetrated this icy layer of distance, but fear and pain. Or maybe it was love. He cannot tell.

Neither could they.

When he was done Junmyeon pulled him into a gentle hug and praised him. He received a nod from Sehun too. And then they spoke a little about their own experiences with cases that could be considered similar. It was useful, just to hear what happened to other people and what they did.

Junmyeon went on with a few advices about self care and how to make sure Kyungsoo stays ahead of himself in this dangerous game of feelings and inner depth.

Sehun on the other hand, came with a few suggestions for actions he could take in order to change the current situation.

The first easily crossed option was to give up. To let go of the guy and give him up so that Kyungsoo will stop hurting.

The second was to push through this barrier of feelings within himself, find out what it really is that lures him to Chanyeol and then go and talk to him about it and explain his position. Which sounded like the best plan.

The third was that Sehun will recruit Jongin and Minseok and the three of them together will go and teach Chanyeol a lesson.

Kyungsoo laughed pretty hard at this option, especially because Sehun slamming his own fist into his other palm with such a childish pout was really hilarious. But it lifted off the heavy mood, and his head was set a little straighter in the direction of the solution. Still gay, though.

What would he do without these two. They are almost like parents for him. Not that he has any idea what parents are supposed to be like. But whatever it may be, Sehun and Junmyeon definitely fit into this wonderful category.

He thanked them sincerely for their existence and the arms they've reached out for him in order to grab onto and pull himself back up.

Giving each of them a tight meaningful hug on their turn. He also promised he'd gladly be in charge of picking the groomsmen's outfits for their wedding. Startling them into shyness before Sehun suggested driving him back home.

"Sehun, how did you know you were in love with Junmyeon at first?"

Kyungsoo asked while looking outside the window on their ride back to his apartment complex.

"I wanted to hold his hand. And have him in my sight all the time."

He answered honestly, without shyness or trouble. It was Kyungsoo who's having trouble now. Because these are the exact two main things he feels towards Chanyeol. Since when, he can't tell. But it certainly is there.

Quietly he leaned his elbow against the armstead and let his chin rest on his palm was staring at the electricity poles and streetlights passing by them on the main street.

"Whatever happens Kyungsoo... Junmyeon, Jongin, Minseok, me... We're here always. So don't be too afraid, okay?"

Sehun added when slowing the car to a cease right at the spot closest to the stairs of Kyungsoo's apartment complex.

"I know,"

Kyungsoo smiled to himself while opening the door and stepping out into the cold.

"Thank you."

And Sehun drove away.

It's time for Kyungsoo to do some digging into his own core.

 

  
\--

 

  
Exactly two days after his short consultation with Junmyeon and Sehun, Kyungsoo was yet again standing in front of apartment number sixty one.

Most of the day was spent at work, as per usual. And then after he returned home it took him two whole hours to convince himself he should head over and sort things out with Chanyeol. He has to, it cannot continue like this any longer because clearly neither of them are enjoying this sort of atmosphere between them.

He will just have to stay true to Sehun's words, to his heart, rather than allow his logical thinking process to scare him back into his familiar and safe loneliness he's so used to.

It hurts way more to stay away like this than to deal with his own developed protection mechanisms that grew from his experience over the years. But Chanyeol is not anything like all of these people in his past who caused this weird instinct to appear.

He didn't even announce to Chanyeol that he'll be coming, and there was a chance there was nobody home at all. He couldn't see whether the light in the living room was on because the window was shut with a curtain behind the glass.

But he knocked anyway, and luckily not too long after the door was opened by a confused Chanyeol dressed in homey clothes.

It was awkward. Awkward and annoying.

The way Chanyeol gestured for him to enter but stepped aside to avoid standing close. His fake smile, the way his eyes wandered around the room to avoid meeting Kyungsoo's, his rigid movements that somehow managed to seem even more clumsy than usual.

Kyungsoo simply couldn't understand what would be the cause for this odd change in behaviour towards him, again. There's always something that creates these messes between them. When will Chanyeol understand that talking about what bothers him and solving the problem when it's early will save them a lot of trouble in the long run?

If he's done anything wrong why won't Chanyeol just say it out loud and blame him? Any way would be good really, he's just so tired of not knowing the reason behind everything that made Chanyeol choose to act like this.

This is just wrong.

Especially since until now whenever such a drastic change happened it all came down to be something Chanyeol made up in his own mind and began freaking about until it blew out of proportions and exploded in the manner of creating a mess with Kyungsoo.

He's not blaming Chanyeol for this, of course not. Chanyeol is very sensitive, and Kyungsoo had already come to terms with it. He's willing to be dealing with it no matter what.

But it's impossible to deal with any of this when he doesn't even know what IT is.

Chanyeol offered to make them tea, and Kyungsoo had to hold himself back from smacking his arm for being this oblivious to the incredibly awful tension burning between them.

Instead, he sighed heavily, unclenched his fist, and fixed his glasses up his nose.

"I don't like the way we are now. Chanyeol."

He started, eyes focused up on his friend who's still doing his best not to return the gaze with a decreasing half smile.

"It's not fun, not healthy, it's not how any of this is supposed to be."

Kyungsoo continued with a little more assertion before huffing out some air from his internal conflict and allowing his body to fall back down on the couch. Surprisingly, Chanyeol actually walked back to him and settled down on the couch beside him.

After rubbing under his glasses and fixing them again, Kyungsoo turned to look at his friend with his whole body. Changing the direction of his pisition to face him. And Chanyeol already looked at the floor with shame and sadness, lips shut tightly.

Obviously. Kyungsoo knew that this situation wasn't good for either of them. So it's understandable his friend who's causing this uncalled distance would start feeling uncomfortable when faced with the consequences of his choice of action.

But Kyungsoo didn't come here to scold him. So he reached out to the giant by his side and gently stroked over his hair. Sliding his fingers through the locks in a reassuring and comforting manner. Even if he couldn't master a smile at this moment, Chanyeol surely does understand that he's coming with good intentions, right?

He didn't flinch away from the touch or anything.

 

  
Now it's up for Kyungsoo to explain it all. To open up and speak about what's deep inside. Just like what Sehun said, he sat down with himself and thought thoroughly about what it is exactly that he feels to Chanyeol.

What does Chanyeol mean to him? What is it that he seeks about Chanyeol?

"Listen... It's not like I mind it that much. Uhm. You don't owe me anything... I guess it sounds really stupid. I don't know why I'm being so gross and needy but--- Chanyeol... I keep giving and giving all the time. To you. Things. My time. Attention... It's a lot for me."

Alright, Kyungsoo's doing it. He's carefully thinking about his feelings and searching for the right words to express them. It's a little cranky, but it's somehow going. Although he knows danger's near because of the way the blood pumps in his veins a little faster.

And his heart just did an extra beat out of rhythm, and his palms are getting sweaty. He tries to look in Chanyeol's general direction, but it gets a little harder. Maybe it's better if Chanyeol doesn't look back at him just yet.

"I guess it's kind of just natural to feel like I want to be given something too? Dunno. Maybe I'm just being selfish. I'm not saying you did anything wrong, you just... Didn't do anything rignt either. I mean, I'm thankful for what you've given me like the phone and the hospital bills and such but like, I'm talking about the personal level. You get what I'm saying?"

Oh no, he's starting to get side tracked by the different sensations forming in his body. His stomch feels like it's clenching on itself, his eyes are bouncing in their sockets, and his hands are now either moving around and gesturing unrelated movements as he speaks, or fiddling with one another.

He keeps changing between looking at Chanyeol and looking down at his own knees. And it's twice as hard now because Chanyeol actually did turn his head to make eye contact. He looks attentive, and worried, and there's still sadness.

No, Kyungsoo's not trying to make him feel like he's disappointing him, so why does he make this sort of expression?

"E-Especially after you confessed your feelings to me I was sure you'd, uh... You know. Be more dedicated to convincing me or something. You didn't let me down--- I'm not disappointed, I'm just. Confused."

Did he just stutter, oh god.

At least there's less fear on Chanyeol's expression now. So he should continue and get this over with.

"Maybe I'm just really bad with people, I mean, I know I am. It's stupid but I guess I imagined such things actually happening like in movies or something. I didn't want our friendship to end, you know."

Kyungsoo had to repeat in his head to stay in focus and return to the subject, the main point of this whole rant, otherwise he will lose track of his own thoughts and also lose Chanyeol's interest and attention.

"I just... I just want your attention. I guess. I think."

All of a sudden Kyungsoo's bravery flew out the window, and all that was left in him was the shell in the shape of his false confidence. His body stiffened and his gaze shifted away from his friend, who by now was already looking at him with utmost curiousity.

He was... Embarrassed. Kyungsoo just admitted something he never thought his mouth would ever express out loud where others could hear. Where Chanyeol could hear.

That's right. He wants Chanyeol's attention. He wants Chanyeol. All to himself. That's what he realized when he sat and thought for days.

The thought of having Chanyeol far away, the image of him possibly treating anybody else with the same tenderness he does Kyungsoo just drove him mad. It's ugly, raw jealousy. Probably. Posessivness. Kyungsoo never in his life felt these sorts of emotions towards anyone before. So even if it really isn't that bad, his mind automatically translates it into the worst possible case.

"Wow that, uh, sounded a lot less disgusting in my head."

He quickly excused, eyes locked down on his knees. Everything was going faster around him and he could feel his cheeks were hot, his heart beating against his eardrums and this terrible feeling of exposure and vulnerability.

That's it. It's done. It's over. He said it all. This is the most he will probably ever be able to express towards another person.

Whatever happens, he recalls in his mind, Sehun and the rest of his friends will be there for him.

And now is the moment of truth. Either he will be understood and things will heal between them, or he will be rejected and leave with shame and a broken heart. Now is the time for him to face up and deal with the eye contact he'll have to do with Chanyeol in order to grasp when he truly feels.

Whatever happens, he will be fine. It will definitely hurt a lot in case things go bad, a sort of pain that Kyungsoo isn't sure he would be able to deal with on his own, but he won't be alone. So it will be fine.

Usually Kyungsoo wouldn't trust anybody but himself about literally anything in this entire universe, but being as clueless as he is about the whole human contact subject due to having no experience with any of it at all, made it impossible for him to solve on his own. He put his faith in his friends' honest words, and in Chanyeol.

Alright. He has to do this.

 

  
A deep breath, a gulp, and he raised his eyes to his friend.

The whole time until this moment Chanyeol looked serious, sad, worried, remorseful, lost. But now, now his wide eyes are looking directly at Kyungsoo with so much hope that it throws Kyungsoo off balance even though he's already sitting.

His mouth is slightly agape from the surprise, theres certain wetness hanging on his lower lids, and it looks like he isn't even breathing for a few seconds. What does it mean? What did Kyungsoo do?

Chanyeol then with hurried quick movements grabbed Kyungsoo's hand between his own two huge palms. Pressing and holding it warmly like the interior layer of a sandwich. So much affection was involved in this hold, even if it passes solely through that touch, Kyungsoo could feel it blow over his entire body like the gentle heat of a fire.

"Kyungsoo---... Holy shit."

He said in a shaking voice, raising Kyungsoo's held hand towards his face, and resting his forehead against it with his eyes shut. It almost looked like he was praying internally for mere seconds before lowering it back down and leaning closer to Kyungsoo's personal space.

His spark of life had returned, so did the gentle blush on his cheeks.

"I've been trying to hold myself back all this time... I didn't want to go over the line--- I thought you wanted space, that I wasn't good..."

He spoke quickly but had to pause for a split of a second in the middle because his mouth couldn't keep up with the speed of his thoughts. Did... Did Kyungsoo succeed? Was there anything to succeed in?

It felt like the tension had already evaporated away from this apartment at the moment he saw Chanyeol's wide eyes staring at him, but now it became more obvious. From the way Chanyeol's body keeps getting closer and closer somehow.

Most likely out of his control.

But Kyungsoo isn't mad. Chanyeol entering his personal space and looking so deeply and hopefully into his eyes doesn't feel foreign. If anything, it belongs there. This close. Right there and all over Kyungsoo's being.

"Was I just being stupid...?"

There was another hint of regret in his voice when he asked this question. But he let go of Kyungsoo's hand and raised his own a little higher, a little closer, right to the side of Kyungsoo's head. And began stroking his hair, his cheek, and jaw.

It sent soft and entirely new tingles over Kyungsoo's entire body. From the touched spot, the heat travelled down to the very edges of his fingertips and left him stunned at the unfamiliar sensation.

Chanyeol touched him before. He touched him in far more sensitive spaces around his body, and yet now with his face being this up close and this whole lot of light radiating from him, Kyungsoo feels overwhelmed. He can sense the way Chanyeol's heart beats in his chest, he can hear the rhythm.

Or maybe it's his own heart. Maybe both their hearts together.

"Yeah, you were."

An idiot. He was a whole entire idiot. Assuming things are a certain way because of his own insecure thoughts and then blaming himself for being the problem.

Chanyeol has so much love in his heart, love he spreads wherever he goes and with every action he takes. And yet deep down he misses a giant piece of love for himself. Not about his talents, abilities, appearance... But about his being. Maybe they are more similar than Kyungsoo realized.

This giant is so used to pleasing everyone around him, being good enough for them to not find him lacking, not tracing behind and out of pace, that he forgot his own worth. Does he really think he has no value unless he is needed in one way or another?

In this case, maybe Kyungsoo's longing for him isn't helpful, because he does need Chanyeol. But, he doesn't need anything FROM Chanyeol. He just, wants him for him.

As all of this has been exposed, does it mean they will now be able to start working on a remedy? Think of a plan to change their ways in order to be happier and healthier for each other, but most importantly, for themselves? Were Kyungsoo's words enough to make Chanyeol understand the true meaning behind them?

"May I give you my attention then, Kyungsoo?"

From the emotional pleasant smile spreading wide on Chanyeol's face right now, Kyungsoo thinks he does. He knows that giving Kyungsoo attention doesn't end just there.

Kyungsoo looked in his eyes and was unable to speak. So he nodded, unsure of what plan goes through Chanyeol's mind right now. But whatever it is, will be good.

"Alright."

Kyungsoo whispered. Chanyeol then sighed deeply with relief before moving forward right into Kyungsoo's space and pulling him into a tight embrace.

Long limbs wrapped all over Kyungsoo's body and are now keeping him secure and warm right where it will be the safest. Right between Chanyeol's arms. He exhaled what air was left in his lungs before allowing his head to rest against the nook of his friend's neck and chest, breathing in his homey scent and slowly sliding his own arms to hold him as well.

They'll hold each other together from now on. He needs to get used to it properly. What better chance will he have than this.

"Thank you..."

Chanyeol's voice was unexpectedly hoarse near his ear.

"For letting me do this... For telling me how you feel. I'm so happy. And I'm sorry."

Another huff escaped Kyungsoo's lungs as Chanyeol's squeeze around his body tightened, so he snickered gently and planted a kiss at the first spot his lips were able to reach, a spot on a lower part of Chanyeol's neck.

It's not cold at all. Who would have guessed the wind is tapping against the window wildly and the trees in the street sound like they're in chaos.

"You're hopeless."

Kyungsoo responded before shutting his eyes and leaning further into the comfortable hold.

Chanyeol laughed with a cracked emotional voice into his neck, before burying his face into Kyungsoo entirely. The two of them remained like this for a while. Soaking each other in as if it's the first time they've ever been this close.

Well, physically close they've been. But their hearts were now beating together and it felt like the most amazing occurance in the world. It's refreshing. Kyungsoo never wanted to hug anyone before. He never wanted to stay by anybody's side like this before. He never wanted to be commited to anything, but this.

And while everything else always feels just a little bit off, a tiny bit incorrect.

This whole Chanyeol thing. Chanyeol, feels just right.

 

  
At first nothing much changed between them. They were back at the good state of the friendship, but there weren't many signs showing there was anything more than that going on. Except for maybe Chanyeol's increased amount of heart emojis being sent his way when they text.

But at least their mental state was back up in the range of decent and even positive.

When Kyungsoo updated Sehun about the development and the fix of their connection he was a little surprised from the amount of happiness that suddenly sparked along with Sehun's smile at him. He loves it when Sehun smiles with such genuinity, so instead of getting flustered he chuckled and pulled them towards each other for a hug.

Although he wasn't sure whether or not Jongin and Minseok are aware of the chaos that he has been through, he made sure to express his gratitude for their patience all these days he was in a state of total mess at work and caused him trouble.

It was definitely a relief to return to his usual lifestyle without the heavy burden of constant fear and worry about Chanyeol's well being. Now they've both got something to look forward to and hold on to, so there is a much lesser chance for any unfortunate occurances to run over them.

One thing Kyungsoo noticed a lot more prominently now that they are spending a whole lot more time together, is that Chanyeol is horrible at expressing his feelings.

But it's not because he has trouble saying what feels, rather because Kyungsoo realized that Chanyeol is filled with so much fear of possibly hurting Kyungsoo or making him unhappy that he'd rather keep his words bottled deep within and not risk putting any sort of inconveniece on him.

On one hand Kyungsoo feels like it's another one of those effects that came along with the way Chanyeol was brought up, to be perfect all around even though perfection doesn't exist. It can also come from the act of selflessness, when he cares so much about others that he isn't willing to impose his own personal matters on them.

But on the other hand it is not good. It's really not good. Because Chanyeol is an adult who already suffers and handles and survives through a bunch of difficulties in his life that prevent his mental state from being in a stable condition.

He learned that it's extremely difficult for those who deal with the fear of disappointing, of being abandoned or dismissed, to express how they truly feel. What they really think, what is actually going on with them.

Chanyeol is pretty talkative, more than Kyungsoo. He doesn't lack any self pride or confidence regarding his outer shell and behaviour towards the outside world. He was just never allowed to bring his internal self out to the open.

If Chanyeol has a problem, chances are Kyungsoo wouldn't even hear about it until the next time Chanyeol gathered so many emotional little irritations that it'll all explode out at once and create the same aftermath like the distance they've just fixed between them.

Kyungsoo himself isn't really the type to talk a lot and express what's on his mind, but that's because he generally doesn't let many things actually enter his mind at all. While Chanyeol is like a sponge that soaks in every little shift in the atmosphere and changes his own mood to fit in automatically without even controlling it, Kyungsoo is the type to stick in his own little space like a bunker and not allow any of the emotional barrage to get to him.

The only emotions that ever hit against his massive thick mental shield were Chanyeol's. Somehow.

He had woken up a sense of protectivity in Kyungsoo's depths that just wouldn't unhook. Kyungsoo doesn't ever want to see him look as small and miserable as he did when they first met. It's too much pain to carry, when a man as large as Chanyeol gives off a vibe of a beaten puppy.

Even when they text or meet up and hang out in one of their places Chanyeol barely ever mentions anything that touches him personally. He easily talked lengthily about his day at work, what he did, complains about the workers, about the boredom and the complexity of everything that's so bitter up in the higher ranks of society.

But he never really talks about more than that. Kyungsoo started wondering if he was ever able to talk to anybody in his whole life about what resides under the surface of his sunshine-like personality.

Kyungsoo wants to be there for him. Kyungsoo wants to be that person for him. He wants to allow Chanyeol the freedom to speak without fear, without pretending to be someone else, without faking smiles.

 

  
So that is exactly what he's doing. Trying his best to do, at least.

He knows Chanyeol wouldn't let out any sort of emotional weight without being specifically and clearly given the opportunity to.

Kyungsoo simply began asking Chanyeol a whole lot more questions in order to awaken the link between his facade and his true self and bring him out from hiding.

He would ask him what he wants, what he feels, what he thinks. He'd praise him everytime he shared something a little more deep, he'd praise him when he decides what to do for himself. Slowly but surely, and without a lot of caution, Kyungsoo would encourage him to explain and express what he feels.

With how much Kyungsoo already learned about Chanyeol and the way his mind is working, he still remained a mystery.

There are times he would be a little distant and distracted from what's in front of him, sometimes because of work related stress, sometimes because of things Kyungsoo wasn't able to extract out of him.

There are times he would be extremely clingy and needy, too. Where he would glue himself to Kyungsoo's body, walk and fret around him like a shadow from every corner of his vision. Kyungsoo really didn't mind the idea of this that much, what was problematic about it is the fact that it came with a looming energy of unnecessary fear and concern.

There are times he would be very serious and intense. Focused and sharp on whatever it is that he's doing and barely paying attention to anything other than his own set little goals to achieve for the day. Usually that also was affected from work.

Then he could also be very shy and sensitive. Where if Kyungsoo would make a sound out of place he would start worrying. Where if Kyungsoo would touch him, even something as simple as stroking his shoulder, he would get tense and nervous.

Kyungsoo is slowly learning how to handle each one of these aspects that belong to Chanyeol's personality.

And he knows for a fact that Chanyeol is doing is utmost best to make it worthwhile. To do the same for him and learn how to accept and be himself around the different aspects of Kyungsoo's personality.

There are less of those, since Kyungsoo mostly switches between being his normal laid back quiet self, to being a little more playful, needy and maybe even suggestive at times. When the mood is right.

But there's always a definitive motive with every single one of Chanyeol's actions, he treasures Kyungsoo. He wants him around. He feels safe around Kyungsoo even if he never really said it out loud. Kyungsoo doesn't doubt that.

They live their lives together now. Apart, but together.

Kyungsoo hasn't received any selfies of Chanyeol holding items he has forgotten at his place after each visit, because everything is scattered between their apartments somehow.

He'd find a pair of socks, a coat, a hoodie, a toothbrush, shoes, sometimes even a phone charger and underwear in his apartment that belong to Chanyeol more often than not.

The two of them switch it up all the time.

It could get bothersome when items are missing or misplaced, but most of the time it just adds another layer of warmth in Kyungsoo's heart when he realizes that they are just this comfortable with each other that no matter where they are, they feel like home together. Chanyeol has become his home. No matter the location.

Such a strange phenomenon.

It's a weird feeling for Kyungsoo to be in a relationship at all, let alone such an open one. Until not long ago he was used to one night stands with random nobodies just for the sex, he would never stay. He would never interact with them.

Now with Chanyeol, the two of them haven't even had any sex yet other than occasional handjobs and blowjobs. It came to the point where Kyungsoo would rather sit down and eat dinner with Chanyeol, hear about his day and play with his long fingers while they watch TV than to try and get sexual.

It's new. This personal attachment on such a deep level to another human.

 

  
Along with their reltionship and connectivity to each other, the two of them slowly started combining their sides into one.

They visited Baekhyun several more times. Each time he looked even better than the last. Kyungsoo admired just how insanely strong he is considering his general situation. One time they sat together and spoke about their lives. He learned that Baekhyun was also a waiter. At a restaurant and not a bar like his, but it already opened a whole new line of subjects the two of them could relate to.

On another time while they were sitting and talking about how the weather is slowly getting a little warmer with the rapidly approaching spring on the way, Kyungsoo was actually busy helping Baekhyun's adorable dog up the couch, when Baekhyun surprised him with a question directed to Chanyeol.

"Why do you always look at Kyungsoo like that, Chanyeol?"

It caught the two of them a little off guard, but when Kyungsoo finally turned to look at his giant friend, boyfriend? Is he Kyungsoo's boyfriend? All he saw was a sheepish shy smile turned elsewhere in the room, and the tips of his ears turning red.

Cute. Chanyeol is so cute that Kyungsoo wanted to kiss his cheeks over and over right there and then.

The thought of him missing all the times Chanyeol is looking at him because he is looking away suddenly hit him really hard right in the heart and he wanted to never miss another one of Chanyeol's glances.

It must have been so obvious if even Baekhyun could catch up on the gaze. What kind of expression does he have? Does he have the warm shine of affection in his eyes like when they cuddle together? Does he smile? Do his ears turn pink? Could Baekhyun tell if his heart was beating faster?

Kyungsoo was so curious to know, but before he could open his mouth and tease Chanyeol about it, the giant placed his palm on the back of Kyungsoo's head and turned his shyness into confidence in a split of a second.

"Because I love him."

And Kyungsoo's intentions of having a party celebrating Chanyeol's adorable blush were spoiled, fell right down the drain, turning him into the subject of bashful pink cheeks and a restrained yet childish pout of dissatisfaction from his own embarrassment.

Chanyeol is the worst. The best worst.

Baekhyun's eyes lit up with so much excitement along with a shocked wide mouth to express his dramatic surprise, but once the smile spread across his lips he looked like he was sparkling. So much light was emitting from him that Kyungsoo couldn't help but feel the affection behind it.

This happiness was so pure, and definitely earned Baekhyun a double amount of time in their goodbye hug.

Back at their regular daily lives, Kyungsoo had already added both Chanyeol and Baekhyun into his group chat with the rest of his close friends.

So now they are a giant circle of eight people. The ninth person's spirit was flowing over everyone through the addition of the two of them though. It was wonderful, really. How well especially Minseok and Jongdae managed to befriend Baekhyun so quickly. While Chanyeol was already friends with most of them by now.

A bunch of boys who were treated unfairly by life are there to help each other survive further through. It's more than Kyungsoo had ever imagined he'd be able to be a part of.

The daily banter has become a common part of everybody's routines, meeting up with one another randomly whenever an opportunity rises, sharing pictures and jokes and pulling through the tougher struggles when they become too hard to handle alone.

How did Kyungsoo's heart turn from a block of stoned ice into a weightless pleasant flame of sweetness and joy?

 

  
Nights spent at Chanyeol's place led Kyungsoo to realize just how much more time he has free than his partner.

Even in days where Kyungsoo has two shifts in a row he still has enough time to sleep, wake up, make his bed, take care of himself and somehow make it fresh enough for the day after.

But Chanyeol's schedule is so unpredictable that there are days he spends more than sixteen hours at work, or days where his work begins at night and it messes up his entire sleeping schedule. Let alone the few hours a week he works out to get rid of excess energy.

Very unhealthy, he knows. But it's part of his responsibilities and he can't just not do it.

Kyungsoo watched day after day how Chanyeol doesn't usually make his bed unless he knows he has the time. And he saw how sometimes when the giant is in a rush he would leave his used clothes on the floor to remind himself to take care of it on another time. And how rather than taking any healthy food with him to snack on when he's hungry at work hours without a break, he takes silly things like fake energy bars or little packs of crackers.

No wonder his mental health can't stay stable properly. With this sort of lifestyle it will only keep getting worse.

Chanyeol can't be considered a messy person, he might be a little chaotic, but his mess has an order that Kyungsoo is starting to get used to.

And even so, dirty clothes, an unmade bed and snacks as food are a big no on Kyungsoo's book.

Kyungsoo makes his bed for him whenever he isn't able to do it himself. Kyungsoo does his laundry for him as well. It doesn't bother him at all, since he's doing his own as well anyway. It's a natural part of Kyungsoo's organized personality traits that he's actually happy about. Taking care of these little things for Chanyeol actually makes him happy because of his own satisfaction of knowing another piece of this filthy planet is clean.

Kyungsoo also started cooking extra dishes with each meal they eat at Chanyeol's place. That way he's able to pack it ahead of time, and leave it for Chanyeol to take in the morning to work. Always with a small note wishing him a successful day.

And every morning he finds the note resting right on the cabinet on his side of the Chanyeol's bed with a scribbled little drawing. A heart, a flower, a little dog, a smiley.

It's the best.

These things really don't bother Kyungsoo at all. And yet whenever Chanyeol returns and sees everything he's done, it amuses him each time again how grateful his giant is. He wouldn't call it dependency, but it's just nice to feel appreciated.

He knows that Chanyeol doesn't take him for granted, and every little action has a meaning and deserves recognition. Just like Kyungsoo praises Chanyeol and helps him around, Chanyeol's able to be this pillar of strength and energy when he needs him.

Maybe Kyungsoo is just very easy to please when it comes to this, since he's never been in any relationships before, but even if so, he is happy. He loves things the way they are. If he had to imagine a healthy beautiful relationship between two people before, he would have given an example from a movie he'd seen.

But now the ultimate perfect formation of partnership is exactly what he has with Chanyeol.

They have quarrels they solve with patience and understanding, they became better towards their own selves in order to keep them both afloat above the void of their busy daily lives.

Chanyeol does have the tendency to go overboard sometimes though. Especially when it comes to giving Kyungsoo things. He would come back from work carrying a shopping bag with some new expensive sweater for Kyungsoo to wear, or a really exquisite pastry box from a fancy bakery, or shoes, or a kitchen applicant.

Kyungsoo is very thankful of course, even if it can get a little too much, he appreciates it. And it still didn't cross the line in which he will feel like he owes Chanyeol anything physical in return. So he accepts every gift with happiness and humility and reminds Chanyeol that he should stop. He never does.

 

  
One early morning, little noises around Chanyeol's room woke him up. Because of course he would stay over to spend the night in the warmth of his partner's body than actively choose to stay alone.

When he opened his eyes he saw Chanyeol sitting right beside him on the edge of the bed while sliding socks over his feet. His vision was a little blurry both because he just woke up and because his glasses were too far to reach. Well, they were right on the bedside cabinet, but that's too far.

The thing is, that the socks Chanyeol pulled over were extremely colorful with crazy patterns. They weren't even matching. One was in the shades of purple and green, while the other had a plaid looking patterns in red and yellows. What is he doing with these mismatching socks? Wouldn't it be scolded if anyone at his high work saw them?

"Chanyeol... Your socks..."

He mumbled out sleepily, thinking maybe Chanyeol is too distracted to pay attention to what he's covering himself with.

But Chanyeol turned his upper body towards him with a smile and leaned down, pecking his head softly with reassurance and affection that already sprung a new wave of calming heat through Kyungsoo's body under the blanket.

"Shhh, don't tell anyone. Sometimes I wear such socks to work because it's like I'm having a secret party under the boring suit."

The giant then straightened his finger over his own lips and looked in Kyungsoo's direction while hissing another quiet 'shh'. A goofy wide grin spread across his lips and his dimple was making an appearance, greeting Kyungsoo good morning.

Only the best mornings come with Chanyeol's smiles, so Kyungsoo will take it.

But instead of laughing, Kyungsoo scrunched up his face into a sleepy pout and puckered out his lips like a child.

"It's ridiculous."

He announced in his tired voice, and loosened the pout into a tiny smile while shutting his eyes again.

"I love it."

Kyungsoo added right after.

He could feel the way the bed was shaking lightly because of Chanyeol's laughter. Then the weight shifted closer to his body, and his giant's lips traced multiple kisses all over his face. A large hand was stroking the side of his head that wasn't buried in the pillow.

"Sleep some more. I'll catch you later."

Chanyeol's voice was so soothing. So deep and low, it vibrated straight into Kyungsoo's brain and sent a singular tingle down his spine that unflexed whatever muscles in his body that might have woken up.

With his eyes closed, another warm kiss was placed on his head. So Kyungsoo hummed in a tone of agreement, and with the scent of Chanyeol's perfume mixed with his pajamas, drifted back to sleep.

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

(NSFW warning.)

 

 

Chanyeol has been away for a couple of days now. Again.

Somewhere in South America where it's way warmer than the beginning of transition between winter and spring in South Korea. Their timezones are so different now that it feels like they are living a whole day apart. But not entirely.

Because Chanyeol keeps Kyungsoo updated with pictures about everythinjg he does. Cute dogs he sees, beautiful colors and markets, a whole other set of people who occupy the streets, the view of the sunset and dawn from his hotel room located in some rich district. And of course, a generous bunch of selfies wearing hats that push his ears even further outwards cutely.

Kyungsoo loves those.

Kyungsoo also misses Chanyeol a lot.

The spare key Chanyeol had given him before was long out of the drawer, and used frequently ever since their bond has strengthened. So he could roam freely between their apartments in case something he owns was located in the other place.

It's not the first time Chanyeol was away due to work since they've gotten closer. So Kyungsoo is not affected by his temporary abesence while at the bar either.

He still wakes up on time, gets dressed, and goes to work. It comes in handy actually, because when Chanyeol isn't around Kyungsoo doesn't feel like he's missing anything when pulling a full day shift and a night shift right after.

Not that he's complaining in any way, but it does save him quite a lot of time in the morning. The fact that he doesn't wake up earlier in order to pack the food for Chanyeol to take with him. It turned back to the life he used to have before meeting Chanyeol, except for the pleasant emotional addition of becoming happy whenever a text arrives.

He'd definitely rather sleep a while less in order to prepare the food for his partner than not do it, though.

Work for Kyungsoo has been going fairly well.

Hard to determine whether it's because the customers have gotten less malicious, less bothersome and less disturbing, or if it's because Kyungsoo's general state of mind simply doesn't allow their behaviour to get to him like it did before.

He simply doesn't even care about them or what they do anymore. Of course it's a problem if it causes a mess for the bar, that he will have to handle somehow, but generally his insterest in whatever they might be doing decreased a whole lot. Of course chatting about the particulary terrible ones is still just as fun in the break room. Especially with his female coworkers who go on extensive research about each of the violators in order to expose their dark secrets to the staff.

Just to keep the upper hand against whoever that person might be in case things go wrong.

Recently Kyungsoo had learned that one of the customers who has been bothering Sehun lately, is actually a really rich businessman connected to the gadgets industry. He always appears wearing suits and expensive wrist watches. A short full guy whose hair starts greying.

His friends had already warned Sehun about it, but now it was Kyungsoo's turn to hear it as well. It seems that one of his coworker's friends works in a shop that sells products of his company, and according to her, he comes there often just to try and persuade young children to make their parents buy items for them. Using subtle but creepy inappropirate gestures in order to touch them more.

Disgusting. It sent shivers all over Kyungsoo's body from all sorts of horrific reasons.

So for the rest of the nightshift after being told about this information regarding the man, Kyungsoo kept his attention on Sehun the entire time. Whenever he had a spare second to breathe he'd make sure the man is as far away from his friend as possible in the crowded place.

At some point of the night though, the man reached a certain degree of drunkness that cannot be tolerated. He acted out on his urges and reached out for Sehun, dragging his feet across the floor and wobbling in his direction with a darkened smile.

Kyungsoo spotted this event rolling right away, and rushed to stand behind his clueless friend's back, shoving his empty tray against the customer's hands which were stretched out in order to grab onto Sehun's body who knows where. The customer looked puzzled for a while, seeing his fingers have met a plastic surface and not a warm body, then he gave Kyungsoo a creepy look with that crazy blackness in his eyes.

Sehun had turned around and noticed the situation. Surprised, he headed towards the entrance of the bar, only to return mere seconds later with the guard who easily swooped the man off his feet and threw him out.

Sadly, it wasn't an uncommon experience for Kyungsoo. Who often has to deal with such actions targetting both himself and the rest of the workers.

Not exactly safe, not what Kyungsoo would have chosen to do, if only he had a choice. But he never had. And at this point it is too late for him to create a change that'll benefit him further than his current job. He's there, he's going to stay there for a long time to come. He doesn't know anything else.

It can get exhausting sometimes, but Kyungsoo's got enough experience far worse than tonight's and if he can use it to his advantage and keep everyone else from suffering the same fate he will do whatever's in his ability to stop it from happening.

 

  
Sehun's shift had ended and after thanking Kyungsoo with a warm hug, he left the place and headed back home to Junmyeon. Leaving Minseok and Kyungsoo as the two who have to deal with the last couple of customers and close the place up for the night.

It didn't take long for the last visitors to leave, and once that was done and over with, Kyungsoo hurried the cleaning process. Wiping all tables quickly, flipping the chairs on top in a way that wouldn't make his muscles sore, washing the floor, he finished fast.

And once done, he went to the bar itself and let himself fall to sit down on one of the stools with a heady sigh. Minseok, who was cleaning some wine glasses with a towel, turned to look at him with a raised brow. The bar was silent now with the music off, dimmer with no colorful lights, and smelled like the cleaning detergent Kyungsoo just washed the floor with.

Right. Other than the bad news he heard about the customer that wouldn't be allowed in this bar anymore, Kyungsoo heard some good news today.

More like, saw good news.

In the groupchat of Chanyeol and Kyungsoo's combined friends, Jongdae, Minseok and Baekhyun were very active during the day. Kyungsoo couldn't check on it too often since he was indeed at work, but when he did he read that the three of them have met the previous day.

It warmed his heart, really. Minseok and Jongdae are such a good pair of people, and knowing that their positive energy has been spread as far as reaching Baekhyun's heart to make him excited to be their friend is such a great feeling.

"Minseok, how have you been lately? I saw that you and Jongdae went to visit Baekhyun? How was it?"

Kyungsoo asked, offering his friend a small smile.

"It was great. His dog is adorable and he talked a lot about starting to study music. He said something about having to do one last thing for someone, but I'm not sure what he meant."

Oh.

Kyungsoo knew what it meant right away. Baekhyun plans on studying music so he could finish Yixing's last work. It has to be the cause. Baekhyun spoke a lot about it before as well. Kyungsoo felt a small sting in his chest from thinking about it, but remained calm and collected.

"Anyway, I'm good. Just tired. The building next to my place has constructions going on... It's very loud."

Minseok continued and sighed lightly, turning the glass graciously between his fingers to look for stains. He found none, and placed the glass aside while picking another and huffing some hot air against a corner that Kyungsoo would have never guessed was dirty.

"Oh right, you told me about it starting before... It sucks. But hey, you're always welcome to my place if you'd like. You know it's always clean, too."

Yes, that'd be nice. Having Minseok in his place is a safe bet to causing it no harm. Minseok's cleanly trait is even more prominent and intense in him than in Kyungsoo. Both of them treasure friendly silences, even though with the two of them together there's often a lot more talking than expected.

Kyungsoo always felt close to Minseok due to their similarity in personalities, and there's a mutual sense of respect between them that he always feels proud and happy about.

Minseok would be a great roommate if it ever comes down to it.

But his friend looked at him with slight surprise, then laughed with amusement.

"Thank you Kyungsoo, but no. I'd feel too weird being around with how you and your boyfriend are."

Boyfriend?

He has a boyfriend?

Is Chanyeol his boyfriend?

Are they boyfriends?

"...Boyfriend?"

His mind turned into a giant question mark.

"Well, duh. You guys kiss and cuddle and shit. You basically almost live together. It's pretty neat in my opinion."

Of course Minseok would use cleaning related terms to describe anything positive. Kyungsoo was amused for a bit, but the question ran right over his brain again and he started sinking into thoughts.

 

  
According to Kyungsoo who is completely and utterly unaware of what an actual relationship is supposed to be like, what he has with Chanyeol is all he knows. And is the closest connection he had ever had with another person in his life. So technically even by his own standards the two of them really are together.

Have they been this obvious about it? Have they ever kissed in public? That can't be, because they've never even went out together in public.

Only at the beginning of their friendship when Chanyeol came to the bar sometimes. But they didn't kiss back then. All they had was some fun in the toilet together. But who could possibly know?

Maybe Minseok has a really sharp eye for these things and he didn't realize. Or maybe it was Baekhyun who told him about it just yesterday when they met.

Yeah, that makes sense.

It was most likely Baekhyun being the carrier of the news. But how would Minseok know they are kissing and cuddling? How much did Baekhyun tell him? The boy didn't even see them kiss once. But oh well.

Actually, Sehun and Junmyeon as well are already aware of that fact. Wow, Kyungsoo really has been out of the loop for a while if he thought the others didn't know about it yet. He's been to distracted with his mew lifestyle to realize it.

His eyes slowly sunk down towards the shiny bar surface.

"Oh... So we really are in a relationship. Aren't people supposed to date first?"

"You haven't gone on a date yet?"

Minseok turned to face him again, with yet more confusion coming from his raised brow.

"We wanted to, and I got hit by a car."

Kyungsoo responded nonchalantly. As if it's the most natural and normal thing in the world to get hit by cars while going to a date.

Minseok already knew about it though. Not about the date, but about the accident he's been in. He was great help at the times of need and Kyungsoo will always give him credit for the assistance and genuine kindness that he received from Minseok after it happened.

"Oh..."

His friend's mouth created the 'O' shape and he had a bit of worry on his expression.

"Yup."

It was quiet for several moments. Kyungsoo watched how his friend moved on from wine glasses to wiping smaller glasses in the shape of little cones. His favourite type of glass to deliver on the tray, since they're short and have less chance of tipping over even in moments of unbalanced movements.

He fixed his glasses and ran a hand through his hair, pulling it backwards only for it to slide back down like silk.

"Does it bother you though? You two are already beyond all the dating bullshit."

Minseok spoke again, gesturing with his towel covered palm to emphasize just how childish he thinks the socially built construct of dating is. Kyungsoo could very much relate.

But now that he thinks about it, isn't it a little unfair of him to judge a concept so widespread like this without even trying it out once? He definitely dislikes commitment and such, but dating is just having fun. Right?

Kyungsoo placed his elbow on the wooden surface and allowed his chin to rest against his raised palm. His lips perked out in an unintentional lazy pout.

"Yeah... But I've never been on a date before. I'm curious."

He could sense the way Minseok was basically cooing at him. With that small sneaky smile yet knowledge filled eyes.

His friend chuckled out heartily once more before patting Kyungsoo's shoulder with reassurance.

"You should tell him. I'm pretty sure the chances to get hit by a car right before your date begins are positively low. Let alone twice, in two dates. Damn."

Kyungsoo's pouty lips cracked to a smile, which turned into pleasant laughter. As always, Minseok is right. Of course having friends around the same age is important, but Kyungsoo is often reminded just how thankful he is that Minseok has a few years of experience with life on him.

Like an older reliable brother he never feels the need to hide something from. And the best part is that Minseok also feels this sort of freedom. It's nice.

He stretched over the stool and stood up, smiling at his friend before sliding over in order to help cleaning up the final touches behind the bar.

There is nothing to fear anymore. It doesn't have to be anything big. Actually, Kyungsoo doesn't know anything at all about how dates should really go, so other than imagining classic dating scenes from movies he's grown to love, he's clueless.

If Chanyeol and him really are beyond the stage of dating, it means a date should be a piece of cake, right? Maybe when Chanyeol returns Kyungsoo could ask him out on a date. He will have to do his research about it beforehand though. To understand what people do and what even happens on dates.

 

  
Kyungsoo got off work after the morning shift today, because it was the day of Chanyeol's return to South Korea.

He grabbed the sandwich he knows Chanyeol and him like the most from the bar's menu and went over to his place with the spare key. These days without Chanyeol by his side passed fairly quickly. They were physically apart, but it didn't really feel like there's any distance between them at all.

After making himself comfortable on the couch, without any blankets this time since spring has arrived and the temperature isn't as bone chilling as it used to be, he started building up the courage and intention to ask Chanyeol out on a date.

He's done his research until now. Mostly by asking Junmyeon about it a whole lot, but also from the glorious internet.

Dates are technically exactly the same as going out with friends, except it's with a person who makes your heart tremble. According to his research, that is. People go to movies, to eat, to amusement parks, to hang out on the riverbank and sometimes to one's place. Very underwhelming compared to what Kyungsoo had expected it to be like in the movies.

Maybe it's the bright and romantic background music, specially edited lighting and carefully caltulated shots that make it seem so magical.

Because if to go by what he's learned, it means Chanyeol and him have been dating for quite a while before actually getting further with their closeness. Well, only inside, but it still counts. Since the other times were pretty much a failure.

Noises of a key entering the lock on the door cut through Kyungsoo's thinking process, and spread the excitement he's been suppressing about Chanyeol's return all over his body. He hurried up to his feet and opened the door for Chanyeol before the other could even twist the key.

For a moment the two of them just looked at each other, taking the sight in. Chanyeol's entire body looks fresh and tan, and Kyungsoo immediately felt how another part of his body got pretty excited from the view.

The next moment Chanyeol grinned blissfully and stepped forward, pulling Kyungsoo into his arms and embracing tightly, fingers already browsing through the back of his hair. And Kyungsoo was clouded by happiness. He hugged around his partner just as tight.

"Mmmhh. Welcome back."

Kyungsoo hummed, and Chanyeol huffed out with relief, familiarity, and lowered his face. He began planting kisses all over Kyungsoo's forehead, down to his cheeks and then left a few hints of mint over his lips with soft pecks.

Whatever Kyungsoo was thinking about before has vanished. Dates or not dates, asking or not asking, it's gone with the wind and replaced with the pure happiness of Chanyeol's return.

Chanyeol and his beautiful eyes and nose and lips. Chanyeol and his fluffy hair, Chanyeol that smells like Kyungsoo's favourite perfume.

"I didn't expect to see you here... You left work early for me? Thank you."

The giant spoke softly and Kyungsoo had to stretch up his neck to kiss him again. He can't ever have enough.

With the luggage already inside and mostly unpacked due to Kyungsoo's encouragements, they've sat down and ate their destined sandwich. Then Chanyeol brought out his presents for Kyungsoo. Not that he cares that much about any of it. Kyungsoo was fine until now without whatever it is Chanyeol brought him.

He always has a hard time understanding the logic behind giving physical gifts to people, because items and objects, unless extremely meaningful and good, aren't often needed.

It was an expensive bottle of wine made by a local resident where he visited, and a packet of uncommon fancy coffee powder that contains gold. Okay, these are actually fairly acceptable since they can be used for something the two of them could enjoy together.

They sat and spoke for a while longer, Kyungsoo simply updated Chanyeol about anything particular that happend when he was gone. And due to Chanyeol's exhaustion from the long travel, they called it an early night.

Except when Chanyeol stepped out of the shower looking like a million dollars with his stunning figure and beautiful tanned skin, Kyungsoo couldn't resist it and made sure he felt all over his body with his hands that night. Examining every curve and change in the shade with admiration.

 

  
The next day, at the moment Kyungsoo got to work he saw Minseok. Which reminded him about the whole going on a date with Chanyeol issue. He had completely forgotten about it once the giant finally got home.

That whole entire day he spent constantly repeating and encouraging himself to act on his wish once he gets back. With such concentration that he nearly forgot to hug and greet Jongin goodbye once his shift was over.

As he walked out of the back door he could hear the way Minseok and Sehun are discussing his serious expression. But it doesn't matter, today he will ask Chanyeol on a date no matter what. No cars will stop him, no work emergencies, no lateness, nothing.

Without hesitation at all, he headed straight to Chanyeol's place, knowing that he's home for a day off after the travel journey.

With his spare key in the lock's hole the door had already opened in front of him with a bed-headed cosy looking Chanyeol stood in front of him with a shine of anticipation in his eyes.

"Oh--- Chanyeol, hey."

An automatic smile spread across his lips as he stepped in and dived right into his partner's welcoming arms and beloved scent. There's always a new layer of warmth and delight when he comes back to a home that isn't empty.

Especially when Chanyeol's this eager to see him as well. Usually there's just a tad less enthusiasm in his welcome because he's busy working himself.

"Kyungsoo, let's go on a date. I mean, I already prepared everything, so all we need to do is be there."

Huh?

Kyungsoo felt his body freeze a little, he went on the tip of his toes and glanced over behind Chanyeol's wide hugging shoulder and noticed the laptop opened on the living room's coffee table. How did he know? How could he have known that Kyungsoo wanted to go on a date? Asking right before Kyungsoo could even say anything?

His first suspicion went to Minseok, since he was the first to know about his wish for a date. But it could also be Junmyeon who he has spoken to about dates in general. Or maybe Jongin? Since Minseok and him probably spoke about it as well. But if so, then it must mean Jongdae and Baekhyun know too. Or do they?

The confusion was too great so Kyungsoo shut these thoughts aside for now and focused on giving his own partner a face to express his wonders about this coincidence. But Chanyeol just smiled down at him.

"Just to have a proper one. You know, after the last times we tried..."

He raised one arm and began rubbing the back of his head with a mixture of awkwardness, guilt, sadness, but a lot of hilarity. At least there was still half of a smile stuck on his lips so Kyungsoo was able to accept his sincerity.

"Would you believe me if I told you I wanted to ask you out on a date myself before even coming back home?"

He amused with a calm tone, and very easily noticed the pink that spreaded over Chanyeol's corners of the ears once the sentence had registered.

"Actually, yes. But I planned something nice for us, so I hope you'll look forward to it."

A few more affection filled soft kisses later Kyungsoo agreed. But now since he had no idea what their date will be like, anticipation and excitement kept building in his stomach the more days that pass until the destined time.

Just in case, he did ask Minseok whether or not it was him exposing Kyungsoo's wish to Chanyeol. He said he didn't, and Kyungsoo doesn't doubt his friend's words, but by asking him that question he just revealed that Chanyeol actually did ask him on a date.

And that alone already sparked delightful chuckles from Minseok in between his hands movements to prepare a drink at the bar.

Junmyone was up next in confrontation about the subject, but after realizing Kyungsoo's just digging his own grave of shyness from talking about it, let alone asking such a question, he decided it's safer to simply let it go and allow himself to be joyous about the fact both him and Chanyeol want to get on a date with each other.

From an objective point of view, if he was a simple bystander with access to seeing the way Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are with each other, he would have felt sick and disgusted by how much love, cheesiness and cuteness there is between them. In each of their actions for one another.

How could a person like Kyungsoo who used to treasure his loneliness religiously, open up his entire heart for a man holding one twice as big and twice as sensitive. Chanyeol is the only exception. Always.

 

  
Today is the day.

Kyungsoo was able to keep himself fairly calm at work despite the constant nagging anticipation towards the end of his shift. His feet were nimble and he felt himself how he gave the customers at the bar very genuine smiles rather than his usual fake ones.

The customers were very appreciative of the gestures unconsciously it seemed, because he received double the sum of tips he normally gets per day shift.

He was able to keep himself relaxed until lunch break where Chanyeol informed him that when he gets back home to prepare for their date, he should dress properly.

Properly?

Does Chanyeol even know who he's talking to? Kyungsoo's entire wardrobe doesn't contain a single tie. It's not an easy task to get a suit when his monthly salary barely covers his basic daily expenses. The most expensive dressing items Kyungsoo owns were given to him by Chanyeol.

So for the second half of his day shift Kyungsoo's mood had changed from cheerful and excited to a more distracted one. He was still receiving just as many generous tips for his kind service, but his mind was somewhere else trying to imagine what sorts of outfits he'll be able to combine into looking remotely formal enough for what Chanyeol might be planning.

He was confused, but mostly curious.

So when he got back home he managed to pull out the fanciest clothes he owns. A simple white buttoned shirt, black jeans, the blazer that looks almost like a suit jacket, and a tie he borrowed from Jongin. That'll have to do. Even if it's not a matched set it still looked good on him when he checked in front of the mirror.

There were all sorts of thoughts crossing through his mind when he did a few lengthy breathing exercises in front of his own apartment's door from the inside.

He did learn about what a date is supposed to be like when it comes to the technical level, yes. But he didn't learn anything about what happens after. In some of the movies the characters end up the date with spending the night together in bed. In others it's a kiss, in a few it's just a goodbye.

One thing that kept repeating through these awful romantic comedies he watched through his life, is that the female protagonist's friends always repeat and say how sex is something that must not happen on the first date.

Which, to Kyungsoo, is frankly quite disappointing. Considering the fact that he does feel obvious sexual attraction to Chanyeol and vice versa, he hoped maybe a date would be the perfect opportunity to step up to the next level.

They did have sex before, oral, that is. Blowjobs, handjobs, general touches and a lot of contact. One time Chanyeol even ate his ass for a while. It was great. But Kyungsoo's wish to ride Chanyeol into oblivion still rests strong.

Anyway, Kyungsoo shouldn't be thinking about such things right before going on a formal date with Chanyeol. Who knows what it'll lead to?

To clear his head he ran a hand through his hair and pulled it back, only to feel his soft washed and dried bangs fall back down on his forehead, and stepped outside. The weather is far better now with the temperature being cold enough for a sweater but not too cold for a coat. So his blazer does the trick.

He might regret it later if any chilly winds decide to blow, but for now it'll do. They are probably not supposed to spend enough time outside to worry about it to begin with.

His intention was to head over to Chanyeol's apartment and go from there, but as he went down the stairs and out to the street he noticed Chanyeol was actually waiting for him right in front of his building. Sitting in a black shiny expensive car brand with the window down. Was he trying to be cool?

Kyungsoo found the act very funny, startling Chanyeol by leaning down to his opened window and scaring him with a small 'Boo'. But when he entered and Chanyeol began driving he was able to observe his friend's attire.

Dressed in a dark grey matching suit and a red tie, a gold wrist watch that continued shining from bouncing all the street lights hitting against it, and Chanyeol's large coat was resting in the back seat like always.

He's hot. Chanyeol is so damn hot. Is it super gay of him to think that concentrated Chanyeol is this sexy? Especially when driving, but really it applies whenever he's focusing on something fully.

Wherever they are going must be really something insane if Chanyeol chose to dress this stylishly.

So Chanyeol drove.

For like five minutes. And then parked the car near the entrance to the pedestrian mall.

Kyungsoo was pretty surprised from the short period of time it took to get there compared to the amount of trouble Chanyeol must have gone through just to get the car and play out this trick of fanciness.

It only made him laugh harder when they stepped outside. Chanyeol also took it well and grinned at him with his sneaky goofy smile where the tip of his tongue sticks between his teeth. Ahh, so cute. Kyungsoo's whole body feels the joy, he felt lucky.

 

  
The walkway wasn't too crowded. There were a few parents walking around with their kids, some teenagers chattering away near benches, old people admiring the bloom of trees and flowers decorating the street. It was nice. Kyungsoo's not used to going outside at such hours especially after work days.

He visited this area before a couple of times, but he doesn't remember any of the restaurants spreaded across this long street. All he knows is that his and Chanyeol's favourite takoyaki stand is somewhere nearby, and if they'll pass by it he would definitely mention it and be gross and corny.

Without any idea where they might be going, Kyungsoo simply walked beside Chanyeol's lead. It was a pleasant walk at first, but the further they've continued the slower Chanyeol's steps became.

And when Kyungsoo finally turned to look at his partner and see what is up with the speed, aren't they a hurry to reach the place on time? He noticed that there's a very thick cover of anxiety around him.

Chanyeol was getting gradually more and more nervous. As if he feels uneasy, stressed, maybe even scared. And Kyungsoo was left puzzled about how to be of any help. His steps were slow and heavy, his eyes shaking towards every direction in their sockets, and any movement of another person near him made him curve away.

Maybe it was a good idea of him to take the coat along in his other arm. It expands his personal space and people are less likely to bump into him that way.

It went on for quite a while.

Kyungsoo hoped that staying closer by his side would help, or asking him how he's doing, but his partner simply brushed it off with an obvious burdened smile and pushed himself to continue.

That is wrong. This is not how a date should go.

Kyungsoo would rather not go on a date at all if it means Chanyeol will be so unhappy about it. He's not the type to enjoy anything high class-y either. And if that's the reason Chanyeol's getting this nervous then he has no problem dropping the formalities.

It is already known that Chanyeol often has trouble talking about what's bothering him, but Kyungsoo doesn't want to force him to go through an experience that'll make him uncomfortable and tired.

Whatever it is, they can go back to something they both know well instead.

Kyungsoo exhaled some air and took an extra step forward, stopping right in front of Chanyeol and having him nearly bump into his body, but he grabbed his partner's hand with both of his own and pulled him down so they could speak without raising their voice.

"Chanyeol, we don't have to go there. Alright? I know you've worked hard to make it happen, I appreciate it."

He spoke in a warm tone right into Chanyeol's ear, who then turned to look at Kyungsoo with an expression so emotional it nearly made him chuckle.

Cute. Chanyeol is so adorable. He's so worried about this being perfect, about not messing up, that he only keeps himself from enjoying it as well. His selflessness really shines in moments like this, and honestly Kyungsoo would be just as satisfied from anything else.

"I want to take you there s---"

Chanyeol started speaking, but Kyungsoo shut him with a finger on top of his lips and smiled softly, looking into his eyes with fondness. He is so fond of Chanyeol. This man is just so great.

"Let's just get something else, something simple instead. Okay? I feel like having some takoyaki anyway."

This is the best option. Their beloved known and familiar takoyaki stand ran by a friendly old man that laughs at all of Chanyeol's silly jokes is the perfect place for Chanyeol to relax and allow his stress to fade.

Really, the point of a date is to have fun and enjoy each other's company, so what was the point of planning something so out of his comfort zone just for that?

The giant's really trying his best to give Kyungsoo new experiences and memories. A first date at their usual stand is just as memorable as a way too costly meal somewhere unknown.

 

  
Chanyeol smiled at him with gratitude and aqueezed his hand. Kyungsoo could tell that he'd lean in and kiss him right there if it wasn't for the fact that there are so many people around them who are already giving them questioning glances.

But now with renewed energy and a far better atmoephere, Chanyeol kept their hands held together when leading them both to the stand. A simple wooden built stand with an entrance covered by a red half length curtain to give the customers a bit of privacy.

The stand has barely four stools to sit on, right in front of the serving surface for the visitors. But they don't need anything else. They settled themselves on the stools and ordered as much food as they wanted. No matter how much they'll spend right now, it would surely be less than whatever the expenses of the restaurant would have been. And twice as satisfying too.

So they entered that little space and ordered themselves some beers. It's ridiculous really. Seeing the two of them dressed so well but sitting at a simple street takoyaki stand in the middle of the pedestrian mall.

It was actually fun.

Amazing, really.

The two of them were drinking and eating happily, chatting away about Chanyeol's adventure in South America and entertaining the nice old cook along with themselves into hearty laughters.

There were a few slightly awkward moments when other customers suddenly came to order some food from the stand, but none stayed to sit on the empty two chairs. So their privacy was barely breached.

Maybe it wasn't exactly a conventional date, but Kyungsoo had a great time, and from the way the corners of Chanyeol's eyes crinkle when he smiles, and how his dimple kept appearing, he could easily determine he was happy. And that is all that matters. Kyungsoo was happy, Chanyeol was happy, and that is enough to be deemed a success.

Even the old man was immersed in their connection, and at some point they were able to urge him into talking about himself and his life. How he started the stand, about his family and wife, about his love for the dish and other interesting tales of a lengthy life.

It was in no way a long date.

They spent a total of maybe two hours outside, but they did spend that time with joy. Having fun with each other and enjoying the company, the food, the drinks, and even the old man.

Kyungsoo was very happy that things came down to this, instead of pushing Chanyeol into doing something they both could easily give up on.

When they left the stand, happy and full hearted with drinks and takoyaki, a cold breeze of air hit directly against Kyungsoo's face, making him squint and huff out in a result of the shudder. Okay, yes, he regrets not bringing his own coat very much.

But before they advanced on their way back, Chanyeol covered him with his own coat. Leaving it on top of his body like a blanket rather than sliding his arms inside, because that coat is already long enough that it reaches near Kyungsoo's ankles. No need to hide his hands as well.

The coat was warm and smelled just like Chanyeol's perfume. A high quality branded coat really does make a difference it seems. But more than that, Chanyeol's arm over his covered shoulders was the best source of heat.

It seemed that Chanyeol felt very relieved and calm after their nice sucessful time out in the date. He kept switching between watching their path that's filled with a population of more adults than minors now, and glancing down at Kyungsoo himself. They talked some more about how different the air and the temperatures are in other countries than South Korea. It was pleasant.

Then at some point Kyungsoo felt how Chanyeol's arm from around his shoulders has been pulled back, only to be sliding underneath the cover of the coat. The large hand gently rubbed over his back until it lowered down and held onto Kyungsoo's asscheek over his jeans.

Before he could react, Chanyeol's mouth came dangerously close to his ear and huffed out some hot air in his direction.

"I think I might still be hungry... And you look so damn cute and sweet."

He certainly didn't expect this. Just these words were enough to sen tingles all over Kyungsoo's already expectant body. But he isn't one to be beaten when it comes to flirtatious games like these.

Chanyeol's very weak in those, and Kyungsoo will come out victorious for sure.

He turned to look up at Chanyeol for just a moment before stepping closer and shutting the gap between them. Shamelessly he then brought his own arm over Chanyeol's back and grabbed a hold of one of his asscheeks as well. An eye for an eye.

"Oh, really? Like a dessert?"

An easy win for Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol flushed deeply right away, his lips quivered from the surprise even though he tried his best to hide it. How cute. Chanyeol is the softest man he's ever met and he'd love to engulf himself within that softness for eternity.

He's so shy and precious. There's no doubt that their hearts belong together.

Kyungsoo just laughed softly and tapped his ass a few times before wrapping his palm around Chanyeol's waist instead, keeping them close and warm. He didn't want to ignore the way his partner's hand continued rubbing his ass. But what can they do in the middle of the street?

Chanyeol drove them back with utter focus. Kyungsoo wouldn't mind being his dessert.

 

  
They haven't exchanged a single word from the moment they left the car and until they made it up the stairs and into Chanyeol's apartment. But it wasn't because of any negative occurance. Rather from the underlying silent sexual tension in the air.

At the moment their shoes were off and the door behind them closed the cold wind of the night outside, Kyungsoo tugged to Chanyeol's tie and pulled him down to a kiss. He caught the giant off guard, with his suit's jacket locking his arms behind his back in the middle of taking it off.

He wants Chanyeol. He missed Chanyeol. His Chanyeol.

They focused on the kiss which was surprisingly passionate even though gentle, while at the same time pulling off each other's clothes hastily. Chanyeol had already gotten rid of Kyungsoo's tie since he has a fair amount of experience dealing with those over Kyungsoo. But Kyungsoo instead just loosened it around Chanyeol's neck.

Their jackets were off, and Chanyeol's fingers began meticulously unbuttoning his own shirt. It's taking too long, the few top buttons would do.

Kyungsoo parted the kiss, leaving them both with a missing breath before pushing against Chanyeol's chest and causing him to walk backwards cluelessly, clumsily, until the back of his legs hit the couch's seat and he fell down on it into a lazy looking sitting position.

"W-Wow, Kyungsoo--- Mmh..."

Without a moment to waste Kyungsoo undid his pants and let them drop to the carpet, watching how Chanyeol's eyes widen with surprise and instant arousal. Hell yes. Kyungsoo knows Chanyeol loves these bare legs so much.

The thick thighs and the curvy shape and the way his head gets crushed between them when he's doing something perfectly right with his mouth.

Left wearing only a nearly opened white shirt held around him by a single button and his black boxers, Kyungsoo took his glasses aside and climbed on Chanyeol's lap. Stradling him over the lap closely.

"What is it? You said you wanted a dessert."

He mumbled against Chanyeol's lips before giving them some more love passionately. Licking into them and sucking on his partner's lower lip.

Kyungsoo's hands were busy stroking gently over Chanyeol's neck and jaw, massaging his ears and rubbing them with the tips of his fingers affectionately. Knowing that they're getting hotter and redder from the tease.

While he was busy doing that, Chanyeol's hands were the ones getting their bottoms naked. He opened his own pants first, but left them at that. Untouched, just free from the constant press his the belt and zipper. Kyungsoo wondered how long these pants were holding down a possible boner, but his thoughts flew about when Chanyeol's big hands slid down under his underwear's line and began rubbing his skin.

It started from his ass, rough palms squeezing and stroking the roundness, and continued on to the sides of his thighs. What a smooth move. Kyungsoo was pretty impressed when Chanyeol managed to slide his underwear down in that manner, rubbing his hands down on the sides of his thighs.

"Mh, I love those."

Chanyeol mumbled while his lower lip was receiving a hot lick. The underwear were located somewhere near Kyungsoo's knees, still locking his legs together. But it didn't stop Chanyeol from pressing his palms onto the thighs again and stroking more thoroughly.

"So smooth,"

He squeezed his thumb right at the center of the inner thigh and made Kyungsoo smile into their kiss. Being adored like this makes him feel so damn good. Being told by Chanyeol just how much he wants Kyungsoo is the greatest feeling ever.

"I want to eat them."

The giant finished his sentence and bit on Kyungsoo's lip.

Kyungsoo on the other hand just parted them lightly and laughed softly, enjoying the way Chanyeol's eyes reflect only the image of himself while stroking his thumbs over Chanyeol's jawline.

With a mind that started to cloud with desire, he jumped back off of his partner's lap, wiggled his hips a little to allow the underwear to fall to the floor and then stepped out of them while returning to the body heat he's planning to take over, right on top of Chanyeol's crotch.

"I have better plans for tonight... Something I've wanted to do for a while."

He admitted with a low speaking tone and pressed a bit of a rougher kiss against Chanyeol's mouth before parting again. Locking their eyes together from up close.

"Will you help me out?"

The giant was eager to nod, eager to please, as always. This terribly sweet trait of his.

Wordlessly, Kyungsoo guided Chanyeol's hands to his own ass again, presing them against it, and even directing his middle finger right onto the crack between the cheeks. All that while their eyes were still in a gaze at each other. Kyungsoo knows what he wants this time. And he's going to get it.

Fuck the no sex on first date rule.

At the moment he saw the spark of realization in Chanyeol's eyes, Kyungsoo grabbed on his tie and pulled them into yet another heated kiss, all the while the fingers on his ass were put to work.

Chanyeol squeezed and rubbed and stroked all while sliding his index and middle finger over Kyungsoo's hole. Teasing it and pressing just strong enough to create the heat, but not yet in. Somehow this multi talented giant managed to reach his other arm out to the cabinet beside the couch, fiddled with it for a while and pulled out a small bottle of unused lube.

In an unexpectedly skilled way, Chanyeol tore off the plastic wrap around the lid and opened the bottle. Kyungsoo couldn't see it then, since it all happened behind his back. But could hear the liquid pouring out and land on the surface of Chanyeol's hand. And a moment later, the wetness reached right over his hole.

 

  
Large lubed finger started sliding into him unbothered, and Kyungsoo bit on his lip. It's happening. It's finally happening. Chanyeol's fingers have entered him before, but never for a goal as such. The lube makes everything feel so much more smooth.

Almost immediately, the finger started thrusting in and out. Painless, pleasant. And before Kyungsoo could show any sort of reaction, a second finger has already joined the party. He hummed into their slow kiss with approval, relaxing his muscles and letting himself enjoy this sensitive care.

A third finger made its way inside and Kyungsoo's body shuddered with heat. His insides feel like a mush from how wonderfully Chanyeol's stretching him. How much care and tenderness, how much arousal he can feel emitting from his giant.

It was sweet, it was romantic almost.

"God... Chanyeol. I wanna fuck so bad..."

Kyungsoo finally spoke again. He basically nearly moaned these words, looking into his partner's eyes from up close. His gaze must have been filled with arousal, because Chanyeol suddenly turned all shy. Or maybe it was the way he phrased it.

Adorable. Chanyeol is just so cute that Kyungsoo wants to gobble him up. And have sex with him until he cries from pleasure. Or at least until one of them does.

That's what boyfriends do. Right? So they really are boyfriends already, right? The thoughts processed in his head, and only increased the amount of determination he had towards his current goal.

Which is an easy target to detect right there under the gigantic buldge of pressed fabrics on Chanyeol's lap.

He giggled softly at the shy reaction of his boyfriend and leaned in to peck his lips once.

"You're so cute."

Kyungsoo made sure his boyfriend knew his opinion. Only turning him even more bashful while pulling down his pants and underwear to the knees. Sitting on Chanyeol's bare thighs feels ten times better than sitting on the pants' fabric.

Without any special thoughts he grabbed Chanyeol's already hardened dick and began pumping him with his hands for a while. Teasing the head with his fingertips and tubbing his thumb against the base, while his eyes are focused on the way Chanyeol's pink shade is turning darker and the bite on his own lip tighter.

The bottle already in his hands, Kyungsoo held it above their business and let it pour the long way down to Chanyeol's dick. He let the liquid slide down on the length and helped it spread with the teasing touched of the tips of his fingers.

"So eager... I knew you'd love that."

He teased Chanyeol even more for the way his dick was twitching needily, and raised higher on his knees. Just as eagerly as Chanyeol's exposed desires, he moved himself forward and positioned his hole right above the subject of his dreams.

"I'm going like this, Chanyeol, is that okay?"

It's important to make sure that every step of the way is approved. Just like Kyungsoo wouldn't have liked going to a fancy restaurant with an unhappy Chanyeol, he wouldn't want to fuck a disapproving or dissatisfied Chanyeol.

Let alone, If he is okay with the fact that Kyungsoo is about to do it without any protection. According to their latest checks the two of them are healthy and safe for this occasion, but it's up for the participants to decide whether or not they are comfortable with it. Normally Kyungsoo would have never agreed to do it like this himself.

But this time and in all upcoming times it's Chanyeol. His Chanyeol. And he wants every bit of him.

He watched his boyfriend's face, seeing Chanyeol's inability to form a single word due to shyness, but instead nodding and shutting his lips tightly.

So after exhaling the air out of his lungs and relaxing his body as much as possible, Kyungsoo lowered down on the dick slowly. It entered without a problem, so he let it fill up him painlessly through the length until it was about two thirds in. He could feel it pressing very deeply inside him.

Maybe he underestimated just how much more length there is for him to take. Not that he has to, Kyungsoo will be in as much control over this as Chanyeol. It's a joint effort. Unlike his previous partners who he could barely count as approving of.

Regardless, it felt good. It was hot and firm inside him. There was not a hint of any negative pressure.

"Oh, shit, Chanyeol, your dick is so big---..."

He hummed with excitement.

Chanyeol was breathing with his mouth open the entire slow process. Deep and big breathes through his mouth that made them sound a little raspy. It was hot.

They're ready. At least Kyungsoo thinks they are, because he surely is. His wish is finally about to come true and as much as he's anticipating the moment it'll begin, even just sitting on him like this already feels pretty fulfilling. Or maybe just filling.

 

  
Now that Kyungsoo has settled in the straddling position on top of his boyfriend, he started moving his body up and down. Riding Chanyeol's dick slowly, feeling how the motion helps him stretch even more for what will possibly come later.

He watched how Chanyeol didn't know how to handle himself at all. He's flushed red all over his face, ears and down to the neck. Couldn't even make eye contact with him. So instead he kept either looking at Kyungsoo's hardening shaft trembling with each time he slides down and his dick reaches a certain depth inside him, or away at anything other than Kyungsoo's face.

Both his hands were gripping tightly on the couch by the sides of Kyungsoo's legs.

He was trembling lightly himself, and letting out shaky huffs or little grunting noises from time to time. It was pretty quiet for a while, the two were just breathing through it without too much excitement.

Until Kyungsoo started speeding up, which turned him a little more noisy himself. He placed both hands on Chanyeol's chest for support and closed his eyes, allowing his sensations to guide him into the faster process of fucking himself sensually on Chanyeol's dick.

"Ahhh, so fucking good."

Slippery sounds of the smoothened friction of their skins harmonized with his soft moans.

"Your dick feels so much bigger inside me than I thought---... Mmh, do you like that?"

He tried to speak through slightly faster breathing of effort, his hips working their way fast and easy.

It was a lot harder for Chanyeol to contain his reactions than it was for Kyungsoo. He started moaning repeatedly, only getting stopped by his own huffs.

"I take that as a yes--- Agh---... I wanted to do this for so long, shit, so hot."

Kyungsoo admitted. His boyfriend's voice cracked in the next moan and he nearly choked on his own breath. Is it because of what Kyungsoo's saying? Is it good that he's talking or does it make him feel weird about it?

It couldn't possible be bad, because Kyungsoo can feel the way he keeps growing and twitching in his ass. Physically, he definitely is enjoying this.

Oh. Oh wow, Chanyeol's eyes are shining so much. The giant actually started tearing up.

"I can't believe this--- Don't cry, it feels so good for me so..."

Kyungsoo continued fucking himself in a decent pace, feeling the way Chanyeol's chest keeps in and out with each breath he takes. If he would have tried to focus, he could probably feel just how fast his heart is beating. But he doesn't need to feel it to know.

"It's just---,"

He finally spoke, his eyes shutting tightly with shyness and embarrassment. The tips of his ears are pepper red, but in general the two of them must be just as flushed at the moment. Kyungsoo from the growing effort and Chanyeol from being in the process of constant build in arousal.

His eyes peeked a wince out as he stopped a moan mid way and twitched a little.

"It's just so fucking good, fuck, your ass is so hot, you're so gorgeous, god! I can't handle this---"

Chanyeol blurted out quickly in a hoarse voice and raised up a hand to cover his eyes with his forearm. Grunting a stuttered moan right at the end of his sentence.

It was a little surprising for Kyungsoo to hear. Not because he has a suspicion he might not look good, but because of the way Chanyeol said it. It was rushed, but it was honest, and while his boyfriend's embarrassment from the situation began fading away, it only gave Kyungsoo more confidence.

So he sped up even more and leaned further down, pushing the boundaries of the length that's already inside him to a new level, and moaning louder and closer to Chanyeol's face.

Amazing. It feels so incredible. His body welcomes this new addition as if a part of itself.

Kyungsoo felt like he's got this. He can do it. He needs to push a little further more and they'll both reach the magical oblivion of pleasure he's dreamed of for so long with Chanyeol. It'll be great, he can feel the way each of his pushes down on Chanyeol's dick are making him shake with excitement.

Chanyeol started twitching a little, his arm was removed from his face, and Kyungsoo saw between the moans and hot breaths how his eyebrows furrow above the eyes that focus on the way Kyungsoo's dick is bouncing up and down from the movement.

There wasn't even a hint of shyness left in the way Chanyeol's mouth opened almost like under a spell, and his hands found their way to Kyungsoo's thighs again.

 

  
The hands kept stroking his outer thighs warmly. It was a sincere and meaningful touch even though Kyungsoo couldn't exactly understand why or how in this situation. But they raised higher and higher up to his waist and gripped firmly. Then with a huff, Chanyeol began helping him raise his body up and down to keep up the pace.

He also finally made eye contact with Kyungsoo again. A gaze he didn't break even for a second.

"You're so beautiful, Kyungsoo. Holy shit."

Chanyeol began moaning low and deep, looking extremely aroused, lustful, hungry. And his dick was heaven. It reached the exact right spots and places inside Kyungsoo that send his heart ablaze. He came to the conclusion that riding his boyfriend was the best deicion he's made. It was also the best wish he could get granted.

The only problem was that after a while of keeping up this quick pace, Kyungsoo started getting tired. He slowed down to a cease in order to breathe and continue on a little later.

But instead of getting a short break, Chanyeol tightened the grip on his hips to lock him in place. Without a warning, he began thrusting upwards into him.

Kyungsoo's eyes opened wide with a lightning strike of sensation in his body, and he felt a shiver run all the way down his spine from the sudden movement. His boyfriend didn't stop at that either, one thrust isn't enough. He repeated it several times before settling into a certain rhythm that kept increasing.

All the air Kyungsoo managed to gather escaped his lungs and his entire body curled forward towards Chanyeol's chest. Together with the air, warm moans came out as well, and the direct movement combined with Chanyeol's hands pushing him down made them hard to control.

"O-Ohh shit--- Fuck. Chaneyol... Oh god--- Fuck yes...!"

His body was heated by Chanyeol, whose eyes turned so fierce, and movements turned far more intense that Kyungsoo started feeling a little shy himself under the sharp gaze and hot huffs.

It felt good. It felt so damn good. Almost like Chanyeol knows his body better than Kyungsoo himself. And honestly, if that's how well he's doing to give the two of them pleasure, Kyungsoo's not complaining at all.

If giving Chanyeol the control means he will continue making Kyungsoo's body feel like a boiled noodle from the inside, then Kyungsoo wouldn't hesitate for a second. It is difficult to hold himself sitting up when each of the hits into him are sending signs of arousal right into his brain, but he's trying his best.

Eventually even his best had an end, and his upper body started to lose the balance. His legs felt weak and his thighs couldn't keep him up straight.

Right before he thought he'd end up falling forward, Chanyeol's both arms let go of his hips and instead wrapped all around his body to pull him into a tight embrace. He huffed warmly against Kyungsoo's ear due to his head fitting right in the nook of his neck, and pressed him close.

A moment of half a breath later, Kyungsoo gasped when Chanyeol started thrusting the full length into him. Even the little bit of oxygen left on him was released into the shaky moan that escaped him uncontrollably.

"Holy. Damn--- Kyungsoo. Ahh, I love your voice..."

The giant whispered hotly into his ear, while Kyungsoo was struggling to keep his body from spazzing because of the bolts each thrust is sending through his body.

It was as if his subconscious suddenly took over, and he moaned out with even more sincerity right behind Chanyeol's ear before realizing where his face is located and actually licking over it while breathing heavily.

He felt the giant's body twitch again, and while muttering a silent curse under his breath he lifted Kyungsoo just a little higher up and turned them both around on top of the couch so that Kyungsoo is the one lying on the couch, and Chanyeol has a grip with the ground with his feet on the carpet below.

The couch was warm from the remnants of Chanyeol's spot that was just freed, and for a silent moment the two of them simply stared at each other with dewy eyes of way too many intense emotions at once.

Chaos began at the moment Chanyeol started moving again. He was steadily fucking into Kyungsoo while towering above him. A thin layer of sweat was shining on his skin around the neck and the peeking bit of his chest hidden under the still half buttoned shirt. Kyungsoo couldn't tear his eyes off the way his jaw looked so sharp and prominent due to the effort and muscles he's flexing in order to fuck him further into the couch.

While lying down like this, the formation of the couch's pillows and ends created a sort of enchanted hearing spot. And so while Chanyeol was thrusting in and spreading his legs wide apart, Kyungsoo could hear it all.

He could hear his own heart beating, his own moans loud and dripping with pleasure and lust, the increasingly fastening slippery soaked sound of their skins slapping wetly against one another and Chanyeol's deep and husky arousal coated voice nearly growling out from how sensual and intense this whole thing is.

Kyungsoo could see stars. In this new position Chanyeol was able to get even deeper into his body with every advance.

 

  
Chanyeol was dicking him hard and good. Everything about this was perfect, more than perfect. Kyungsoo was falling and breaking apart from the inside, but it was painless. Only pleasure was involved when it came to the feelings.

His one arm is holding Kyungsoo's thigh sideways to keep him wide open, and his other hand came down to treat Kyungsoo to a similar sensation as himself. Because he started jerking him off pretty vigurously, drooling and allowing the saliva to drip down on Kyungsoo's length to rub him even better. All while his hips seek no rest from the thrusting motions.

There was something so wild and yet so intimate about this.

It was wild because the two of them could not hold anything back. Their bodies kept tangling them together into a knot of limbs and constant wet penetration. And intimate because beyond the lust and hunger for the flesh, love was thriving. Every one of their movements were filled with so much love, affection, caution.

Kyungsoo started losing his mind from the combined heat of having Chanyeol's large hand pump his dick together with Chanyeol's own dick pumping into him. He's not used to being treated as more than an object to the people he's been doing it with in the past.

This is the best.

They kept talking with each other too, well, if one can call needy moans and swallowed words talking. Chanyeol asked several times whether Kyungsoo's alright, and Kyungsoo from his side kept praising Chanyeol for the incredible magic he's doing in his body.

Although still wearing a shirt, Kyungsoo kept seeing glimpses of Chanyeol's skin from underneath. Skin that he would very much love to see and feel properly at this moment.

"Chanyeol--- Aahh, I want to see you..."

Was all he needed to say for his boyfriend to understand and pull off the tie from around his neck. He even leaned closer down to Kyungsoo's body and face to make it easier for him to continue from there.

And indeed, Kyungsoo did just that. In shaky hands due to the constant pounding into his ass, he unbuttoned Chanyeol's shirt and spread it open. Trailing his eyes down over his chest and abs, he watched how his muscles are tensing up from the effort. How his hipbones are sticking out so beautifully to give his body the perfect figure.

With pure awe and an added sense of arousal Kyungsoo couldn't help but stroke his body. Starting from the chest and lowering down to the stomach with affection. Letting his fingers press softer or harder over some flexing spots to feel the heat.

Amazing. This is everything Kyungsoo has wanted to get out of this and more.

It seems that these little touches were actually having an effect on the person who's dicking him into the couch, because Chanyeol suddenly grunted and turned his face up to the ceiling for a few seconds.

"God--- Fuck, you feel so good I don't want this to end---..."

Kyungsoo was a little surprised, but felt that his might be the point of no return, his insides are decorated with strings of lube and precum, and his own dick is already dripping over Chanyeol's hot fingers.

He couldn't agree with Chanyeol's words more. So when his face finally returned to look at him, Kyungsoo spread his arms out towards his lover as if seeking the closeness of their bodies again.

Chanyeol complied without hesitation and leaned down, curving his back and wrapping his now free arm around Kyungsoo's waist. The other hand is still busy giving Kyungsoo's own dick some attention.

"Chanyeol, make love to me... Fuck me hard, all inside--- Give it to me..."

Kyungsoo replied with an airy half moan while breathing heavily, since they've paused for a short while to recollect. His legs wrapped around Chanyeol's hips, and he raised his arms and caged Chanyeol's back in his hold, digging nailless fingers into his skin to encourage him.

"You're doing so good, please don't stop... I like it so much."

He added quietly before Chanyeol locked their mouths in a sloppy kiss.

So many emotions have transferred to him through this kiss. Gratitude, excitement, lust, affection, and also something that felt almost like an apology. His mind was filled with too much adrenaline to form a proper thought, but maybe he should ask if everything is okay.

 

  
Except before he was able to even send the command for his body to follow, Chanyeol started drilling into him at an insane speed. There's no friction at all going on down there and it pushed so hard into him that he thought he could see the tiniest bump form on his own belly from the inside.

Yet again he was left speechless and breathless from the intensity, and along with the shocked gasp and the moan, his palms automatically grabbed onto Chanyeol's hair and pulled pretty tightly, causing his boyfriend to wince, groan and bite right on Kyungsoo's lower lip strongly.

Almost like a trigger that just fired a gun, everything from that moment was twice as intense. Chanyeol was humping into him very eagerly, desperately, so fast and hard that Kyungsoo had to pull even harsher on his hair so he could force his mouth away from the kiss to breathe. But the only thing that came from breaking the kiss were his loud whimpers. He's entirely overwhelmed.

Once his fingers finally let go of Chanyeol's hair he went straight into Kyungsoo's neck to kissd and lick around while murmuring Kyungsoo's name repeatedly and vibrating over his skin.

At the moment Chanyeol's teeth bit onto the neck, Kyungsoo's entire body was aflame. He could feel every end of nerve and his vision turned to a rolling rainbow and sparks of fireworks.

He came right there and then. Stuck in an orgasm so strong he couldn't even breathe back in all the air he lost while a single moan took him around a whole minute to complete. White splurts flew over his own belly, bits of his shirt, and quite a lot into Chanyeol's palm that kept squeezing every drop of it out of him.

In the daze of the peak of his pleasure, Kyungsoo could only watch and continue moaning as Chanyeol bucked into his body a few last times, before pulling out of him quickly and releasing his own white strings of sperm on top of Kyungsoo's own.

His hearing was a little muffled after the intense utilization of every sense of his body, but he still heard his lover's voice groaning, grunting, and moaning loudly with his ejaculation.

For a while Kyungsoo had no idea what was happening in the reality he's a part of, but when he came back to his senses, he realized he was looking directly into Chanyeol's eyes.

The two of them were panting, sweaty and drained of energy.

But then Chanyeol smiled at him with a new sort of softness he hasn't seen yet. His eyebrows were no longer furrowed, he was gentle and almost angelic. Is this the way he looks at Kyungsoo whenever Kyungsoo doesn't notice?

The giant leaned down again and planted such a slow loving kiss on his lips that when he pulled back up Kyungsoo found himself with tears in his eyes.

He's loved. He is so loved and his heart is bursting at the seams and all around Chanyeol.

While laughing at the way Chanyeol started panicking from the appearance of his unexpected tears, Kyungsoo realized that this is the first time he actually wants to stay the night over after sex.

Kyungsoo also realized that he is fully, undoubtedly, in love with Chanyeol.

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

 

  
The announcement came in a late morning.

It was a day off for Chanyeol, and a night shift for Kyungsoo. So the two of them were resting together in bed in comfortable silence.

Kyungsoo was watching a movie on his tablet with one earplug in, rested against the raised pillows at the back of the bed while the other was for Chanyeol. The giant was drifting in and out of light sleep while wrapped around Kyungsoo's body, listening to his heartbeat in one ear and the movie in the other.

This was definitely Kyungsoo's favourite way to pass the time. Chanyeol is normally seeks a little more active interests, but it never collides.

At times it would be his choice and they'd end up going to play billiard or bowling together, or even just go out for a walk on the paths on both sides of the river. It was actually helpful because in order to do so, they had to cross the bridge above the main road. Which softened the spot's bad connotations a whole lot.

Kyungsoo had woken up feeling a little uneasy that day, so the natural response is to relax as much as possible in the morning before preparing for the rest of the day's surprises.

He had a feeling something would go bad. He just didn't know how bad.

Almost at the end of his movie Chanyeol's phone began ringing. So the giant didn't even open his eyes to search for it. He lazily raised the found phone in front of his face and squinted at the contact. Kyungsoo didn't see who it was, but it didn't really matter.

Because at the moment the phone was answered Chanyeol's entire body stiffened. His eyes opened wide and his eyebrows drew tight together, Kyungsoo, startled from the reaction quickly placed the tablet away and tried to study his boyfriend's face. Which only got darker. This expression of shock and serious is something he's never seen Chanyeol show before.

A deep hoarse hum and a beep of a shutting call later, Chanyeol was still stuck staring at nothing in particular over their shared blanket.

"M-..My..."

His voice came as barely a whisper, a choked back tone. What is going on? Kyungsoo's distress alarms were blaring in his ears and his entire attention locked on his partner.

Slowly, Chanyeol's eyes turned to look back at Kyungsoo's, and after he inhaled some air they suddenly filled with so many tears that by the time he blinked once, there was already a stream going down his cheeks.

Why? Why is he crying? Kyungsoo's heart skipped a beat when he grabbed to the sides of Chanyeol's jaw softly.

"Chanyeol... What happened?"

The giant seemed to not have realized the tears have become so intense they were dripping down from the edge of his chin and down to the blanket covers.

"My father, he's... Gone."

Kyungsoo's immediate reaction was to pull his boyfriend's head right into his chest and hug him protectively. An intense ache started hitting against the inside of his chest with every breath he took after that.

He can't understand what it feels like, he's never been in a state of loss, but Chanyeol's body was falling apart in his arms. Small again. Oh so small and fragile and powerless against the world. It took a while for him to think of what is the proper way to respond. Because really, what is he supposed to do?

"I'm so sorry Chanyeol..."

Was all he could mumble quietly, feeling the way the large hands are gripping at the seams of his sweater, the way Chanyeol's body began trembling before he burst out into an agonizing cry.

It hurt. If the pain is this intense to hurt Kyungsoo's heart, he can't even imagine how much more horrendous it is for the boy who just lost his father. This sort of intense pained energy brought him back to the moment the two of them met.

The same sobs, the same shaking body, the same torment.

Kyungsoo tried his best to act like the sponge to contain all of Chanyeol's dripping agony, grief and sorrow, he tried to stay calm and strong to keep Chanyeol afloat, but who was he kidding? After learning another important person in Chanyeol's life is gone, how is he supposed to remain at ease?

That morning even Kyungsoo shed tears for the loss.

Hours after the revalation Chanyeol, with a lot of help from Kyungsoo, was dressed and taken by a few agents of police, law, and his father's company to his father's house. Kyungsoo cancelled his shifts for the next two days and stayed home to take care of everything he knew Chanyeol wouldn't be able to.

It's terrifying. How easily life can be taken away.

 

  
Chanyeol returned that same evening looking ten times more exhausted than any other day. Eyes swollen, nose red, and whole mood a mess.

Kyungsoo cooked them some healthy food for dinner and forced him to finish it all. After shower and in bed, Chanyeol continued crying. It was quiet at first, just sniffles and tears here and there, but when they were trying to fall asleep the sobs have taken over him and weakened his existence back to extreme vulnerability.

He told Kyungsoo that even though he wasn't too fond of his father and the way he chose to raise Chanyeol up, it still hurts. He's still sad. Still devastated from the loss and the meaning of it.

The first few days were harsh. But as Kyungsoo was supposed to continue working, he changed his shifts so that all of them will be during the day. He can't simply stop working because of it, even though the scale of this loss is much larger than he knew it'd reach. The story hit the country's news, online articles popped raising a lot of questions about the future of the airline company, and even more questions about who the successor will become.

Chanyeol's name turned from a simple mention of a bloodline into a pretty big deal all around, his phone wouldn't stop ringing and he wouldn't be able to stop answering either. Because amongs all the numbers calling him from various reasons could be something important.

It was really tough to power through, but Kyungsoo gave his everything to make sure Chanyeol's in a good physical state regardless of the mental misery.

By coming back every afternoon and spending the night with Chanyeol, Kyungsoo was able to keep him safe during the nights. Keep him close in his arms and stroke his hair and ears and sides to soothe him enough to relax. It was a taxing task, but it must be at least a hundred times harder for Chanyeol himself.

Being as selfless as he is, Kyungsoo knew that even though he's submerged in his own grief, a part of him is still blaming it on himself. A part of him still thinks he's being selfish for making Kyungsoo do so much for him.

If there's anything Kyungsoo would want to do, is to get rid of that little voice in Chanyeol's head that's torturing him for being stuck in unconventional sad situations. People's minds can be so cruel to them sometimes.

A few times during the week Chanyeol went outside for lonely walks near the river.

Luckily, all the media haunting the subject of his father's death and the company's future were never informed of Chanyeol's own private little apartment. So neither of them are getting harrassed by any heartless scoop writers or photographers.

The ones taking the burden of becoming the grieving faces are the people who worked close with his father instead. Older men and women who actively chose to keep Chanyeol's whereabouts hidden so that he could heal and return to the company as their new leader. Kyungsoo learned from these actions that although Chanyeol's father was strict and definitive, Chanyeol himself was adored by the heads in works.

It was a little bit of positive within all the negative.

Fear was still present in Kyungsoo's heart whenever he came back home from work to find the place empty. But with patience and faith, Chanyeol would eventually return every time unharmed.

Their little wonderful group of friends have also been pretty helpful. Distracting Chanyeol constantly from the mess by being bright and cheerful enough to even make him smile at a few rare moments.

Let alone the fact that Minseok, Jongin and Sehun are yet again helping Kyungsoo remain above water at work.

 

  
Today was an especially easy day, everything was calm and quiet at the bar. No children misbehaved, no customers were rude, the tips were fair and and the general atmosphere remained decent even during lunch time's rush hour.

Kyungsoo's mind was also in a peaceful state, knowing that Chanyeol had stayed up late the previous night. Which means by the time his shift ends chances are his boyfriend hasn't even woken up yet. That'd be great. Chanyeol needs all the sleep he can get. He just hoped that nobody rang him awake at some earlier hour of the day when he was already at work.

During his break, Kyungsoo spoke with Jongin and Sehun about the whole situation at home. They were both sincerely concerned about Chanyeol's well being as well, and offered their comfort and assistance.

Really, he's so lucky to be surrounded by such incredible people.

On his way back home from the shift he wondered if it'll be better to bring Chanyeol a snack just because, or if he should get back quickly so that they could be together and he'll see in what state his boyfriend is at.

At least no more coats are needed to walk outside. A simple sweater would do the trick against the temperature, and together with the more frequent visits of the sun between the thin clouds, came the greenery. The streets are filled with life wherever he turns. Trees are covered in healthy leaves, little sprouts are slowly growing in corners of pavements and the decorative plants are having a blast.

Maybe it's a time for a change. The beginning of something new. A whole fresh cycle of life is starting.

Kyungsoo decided to bring Chanyeol a snack anyway. Just a small one. It'd definitely bring him even a little bit of joy and that's good enough. A quick visit to the seven eleven store located near their famous street corner on the way back was all he needed.

Now with a small yet delicious chocolate bar for Chanyeol in his bag, Kyungsoo finally made it to Chanyeol's apartment. Also known as, home.

Up the stairs he unlocked the door and entered quietly, hoping he'll be finding Chanyeol still in bed. But right after closing behind himself, he heard Chanyeol talking quietly and lifelessly from the living room.

Oh. So he's awake. Hopefully he hasn't been for too long.

After removing his shoes and sweater, he grabbed the snack out of his bag and stepped through the hallway. Chanyeol was sitting on the soft carpet, legs stretched under the coffee table, while leaning back at the bottom of the couch behind him. His hair was still very much a mess from the bed and his clothes were still pajamas.

His voice also sounded sleep laced. He must have no been awake for longer than about twenty minutes or so. That's good.

Quietly, Kyungsoo placed the chocolate bar on the table in front of his boyfriend, and proceeded by stroking his head softly while he passed beside him to enter the bedroom. Where he made the bed and folded some clothes back in order into the closet.

When he stepped back out he saw Chanyeol's tired eyes were following his movement, but he was still focusing on the phone call. It must be important, so Kyungsoo took his time to put the rest of the apartment in order. He washed the dishes and renewed their supply of toilet paper, put the dirty towels in their laundry basket and even placed Chanyeol's toothbrush back in its holder.

Normally these tasks would have been done by Chanyeol himself if he was home during the day, but Kyungsoo knows why they were not cleared, and he would very much gladly do them himself if it means Chanyeol's burdens decrease.

He considers himself domesticated, so it's not like he's suffering or complaining. It's almost theraputic for him to do all of these mandane works to keep his own mind off of subjects he'd really not want to think about.

But the phonecall continues, and Kyungsoo missed Chanyeol in these hours he's been gone.

 

  
Back in the living room once again, Kyungsoo lowered down and sat himself beside Chanyeol on the carpet. He spread his arm around his boyfriend's shoulder and began rubbing his back while nuzzling his head against the long neck.

"Hey."

He whispered, since Chanyeol's still on the phone, but also because he wanted to make sure Chanyeol knows he is there.

At first there wasn't any reaction coming back, only silence. It lasted for a while. Chanyeol must have been focuing on whatever it is he'd beind told on the phone. But then he turned towards Kyungsoo and wrapped his own free arm around him in order to pull him closer.

Kyungsoo didn't hesitate and scooted in right away, going on his knees and climbing on his boyfriend's lap, he buried himself into Chanyeol's body. Arms wrapped comfortably around his waist, and face hidden in the nook of his neck.

The giant's hand kept rubbing up and down Kyungsoo's back slowly, and he curled them both even closer, drawing his face in Kyungsoo's neck and breathing him in like air. Kyungsoo let him. Of course he would. Anything that he wants, Kyungsoo knows he will be able to provide. And evidently, he enjoys this quite a lot himself. As long as the circumstances aren't brought up, that is.

Chanyeol raised his face from the warmth of Kyungsoo's neck and huffed out, resting his chin there instead.

"I'm bringing someone there with me."

He spoke to the phone. Kyungsoo isn't sure, but there's a faint voice of an old man talking back from the device. It must be one of his father's helpers.

"Yeah, I know. So the driver will be here by six? Thank you."

Chanyeol continued after a short pause, and then hung up, placed the phone on the table beside the snack, and wrapped both his arms around Kyungsoo's body. He pulled him closer into his lap and held him tight, breathing slow and deep into his neck yet again.

It was quiet except for a few birds chirping outside from the green trees and the sound of their nextdoor neighbour's washing machine muffled banging from effort.

Kyungsoo planted a soft peck onto Chanyeol's neck.

"Hey."

Chanyeol whispered back into the warmth, and Kyungsoo couldn't help himself. He tightened the hold around his boyfriend with one arm, while his other hand raised up and along with his slightly distanced upper body, he gently stroked Chanyeol's cheek.

They looked into each other's eyes for a while. Evidence that Chanyeol might have cried a little earlier would be the slight redness and dampness of his lower lids. He looks tired, but calm. Today is an important day when it comes to the dreaded subject, because it's been a week since the death of his father.

"How are you doing?"

Kyungsoo asked him gently while softly tracing fingers over Chanyeol's little grown stubble and mustach. It's strange seeing these on his face, but it doesn't look bad at all. He's been mourning, it's only natural to allow these to grow during that period of time.

"Will you come to the funeral with me? I can't... Stand there alone."

His voice was hoarse and Kyungsoo regretted buying a stupid snack and not some of those candies that help the throat get better instead while he was out.

But it doesn't matter. Chanyeol needs him now, and there is no way he will be letting him down at such crucial times. He's never been to a funeral before. Just like most of the things in his life, Kyungsoo knows very little about what's actually happening in them other than his limited view into it through movies.

So on one hand he knows fullheartedly that he would join since Chanyeol asked, but on the other hand there's still a little bit of awkwardness about the subject in his mind. Or maybe it's just the fear of possibly doing something wrong and disrespecting any part of the ceremony and its participants.

If asked by Chanyeol after speaking on the phone, it means this event will be something pretty public and serious that involves high class people who were a part of his father's life work. Either from the company, or other sponsors, family members he's never heard about.

The media would most likely be there too, but how is he supposed to present himself?

Kyungsoo leaned backwards and made eye contact with his boyfriend from up close.

"Yes, I'll join. I don't have anything formal to wear... But my wardrobe's main color is black. Is that okay?"

There was a little bit of caution in his tone with he spoke. Because really, he's just being honest, but it could still be something important and risky to dress with anything other than an expensive suit to an event filled with such important influential people.

Would it be acceptable? He would have borrowed something from Chanyeol, but clearly that isn't an option when he's at least four sizes bigger. It would look even more ridiculous.

"Yes. It's okay. Thank you..."

Chanyeol let his head fall and bury into Kyungsoo's neck and shoulder yet again. So in return Kyungsoo sighed in relief and wrapped around it in order to stroke his hair gently. His body is aching together with his soul. Kyungsoo can feel it.

Even after the announcement, the intensity of his pain wasn't as great as when he first met Chanyeol in the rain. It's obvious, since Yixing was a source of happiness in Chanyeol's life, while his father was a source of ensurance and responsibility. They weren't personally close according to Chanyeol's words, but it's still his very own father.

He exhaled lenghtily into Kyungsoo's neck, obviously trying to clear his mind a little from the upcoming event. And it seems to be working, because Kyungsoo noticed how his muscles are slowly unflexing their tense hold.

"How was your day at work? I saw Minseok had a lot of free time... He kept talking with Baekhyun in the chat."

The giant brought up the subject of distraction, and Kyungsoo's heart felt warm from the fact that even with all the gloom surrounding him, Chanyeol was still able to put himself aside and ask about Kyungsoo's well being.

He was touched, and praised Chanyeol by tightening around him with a small smile and planting repeated kisses to Chanyeol's head all around. His ear and neck and jaw, then the side of his head and as close to the top as he could reach through the drabbled hair.

"Yeah. Day shifts are pretty much a playground for him. Today was quiet."

Kyungsoo replied and slowly pulled back, standing himself up and reaching his arm down for his partner to grab on to.

"Come on. Let's get something, I'm starving. You could eat what I brought when we're done, deal?"

Chanyeol watched him for several seconds with a mix of sadness, admiration and hope, then grabbed onto his palm and hummed in agreement.

 

  
Kyungsoo was right.

The funeral was public and big. Every one of the invited people in crowd was some sort of strong public personality involved with large sums of money. The media was standing outside the venue and capturing everything they could about it.

Luckily, the car Chanyeol and him took was allowed to enter the venue through the gates, so their arrival was fairly secretive and the chances of any media platform catching any glimpse of them together are extremely low.

In the end, Kyungsoo dressed with a simple black turtle neck, a black jacket above it, black jeans, shoes, socks. He felt out of place. Everyone else were wearing suits that cost more than Kyungsoo's entire life expenses. But he remained by Chanyeol's side. Well, behind him, sort of. Because he had to stand there for nearly an hour to be greeted by every single one of the people who came.

The funeral was respectful and quiet. Different from the movies, obviously.

Chanyeol cried again during the event itself, and it took every nerve of restraint contained in his body to not push through the people and pull Chanyeol into a tight protective hug in front of all the attendees standing there.

And once again his tears were rolling when they were back in bed that night. But this time they didn't last long because Kyungsoo wouldn't have let go until they're over.

The time to mourn had passed, and Chanyeol was more or less mentally prepared to get back to work. Now as the official owner of the entire airline. Mostly less.

It's one hell of a heavy responsibility to carry though, and whatever preparations he might have done in order to resist the stress that'll come along with the new burden were almost nonexistent at this point. His very first day back at the office lasted nearly twenty hours, and when he finally returned he was too exhausted to do more than peck Kyungsoo's head and fall asleep.

He started sinking down in more work even at home. The first few days were spent mostly at the office, but he explained that once everything will be taken care of, he will have more time since he could work from home more often. Not now though, now he's stuck in an endless loop of work both out and in the house.

Kyungsoo could only do his best to help.

He continued taking only the day shifts at the bar except for a few whole day shifts during the weekends.

Cooking and making sure Chanyeol would eat was the basic, but he also had to force him off of his laptop when it got too late. The giant was so sleepy and tired for so many days in a row that for Kyungsoo to dry his hair with a towel after the shower became a routine.

Otherwise he would have fallen asleep with his hair wet, and Kyungsoo wouldn't allow him to get sick while he's already in such a stressful state.

The beginning was extremely difficult for them both. Chanyeol's mental mood was switching between bad to very bad every day, all the aspects mixed together and attacked him down into negativity all at once.

Kyungsoo on the other hand was doing his very best to stay calm and collected. Even when Chanyeol was on the phone for hours, while tapping away at charts and files and emails for work, he approached the giant very carefully. So that none of his actions would harm him more than he's already damaged.

One time he started talking about how he still thinks he is cursed, because there is no way a normal person would have to deal with such great losses so soon one after another. And because he is too bad and difficult to handle and never does what he needs to do properly and---

Kyungsoo had to quickly stop it from getting out of control like last time. It was a little cruel, because he had to stop him in the middle of his words and tell him harshly how he simply doesn't have the time to waste on silly talks like these.

It worked though, because Chanyeol snapped out of it immediately, surprised from himself. He sighed heavily when he realized his own state, and thanked Kyungsoo sincerely for shutting him up.

Kyungsoo had to swallow in his need to hold Chanyeol in his arms and just protect him from the whole entire world and its terrifying ways of tearing people down.

It's not easy, but Kyungsoo is fine.

His naturally cold and laid back heart is good against these things, especially when he has a little control over Chanyeol's physical state at least.

He isn't stressed nor sad, not even worried either. Because as tough as it is, Chanyeol is not an idiot. He may have this weakness of wanting to please everyone, but even he has his limits and there are times Kyungsoo feels very proud to see that his boyfriend is taking a break on his own. This period will pass.

 

  
It's been a while, but slowly things are starting to ease down. Chanyeol is actually up for more conversations, and never fails to show his gratitude to Kyungsoo for all of the effort he puts into helping him remain sane.

Today is one of these days where the evening is finally quiet from all activities, and they are able to just sit and talk.

The giant began talking about the company and his progress as its new head. He talked about how even though he is now the owner and his father's previous helpers are nice and really assist him a lot, treat him with respect and considertation;

He's still worrying about possibly making mistakes and ruining everything. The responsibility really is crashing down on him.

"What if I'll invest in the wrong stocks and lose all the money...? How will I take care of you then? How will I give you what you want...?"

Huh? Kyungsoo shifted his position on the sofa to face Chanyeol, who's sitting by his side and hugging around his own knee, staring blankly at the television in front of them.

Does he really think that Kyungsoo cares at all about anything related to money? It's not only Chanyeol's job to take care of the two of them. Does he take Kyungsoo's hard work at the bar as a joke? What is he, some sort of housewife to laze around while Chanyeol's holding the two of them financially?

Is it because Chanyeol kept giving him expensive gifts? No, there's no way he's shallow enough to actually think all that.

Chanyeol's heart is too good and too large to sink down to that level. It must just be his protective instinct over Kyungsoo just because they are in a relationship. He's too selfless, and knows Kyungsoo well enough. He knows that Kyungsoo isn't into these materialistic items.

"Do you think all I want is your money?"

Kyungsoo sighed lightly.

"No, but---"

"I don't care about money Chanyeol. Whatever the fuck it is you're worrying about really doesn't matter."

He stated to finalize his words, seeing how Chanyeol's eyes are gazing at him before turning back to the nothingness in the front with underlying bitterness on his expression.

Was it a bad choice of words?

"You don't understand..."

The giant then said after a short silence and raised a hand to rub his head a few times, clicking his tongue with subtle frustration.

"Maybe. I don't really know about such things."

Kyungsoo decided to take a softer approach about it this time, he knows Chanyeol has no bad intentions, and in no way is he trying to brag about his financial state over Kyungsoo's lame one. So he should just allow him to vent it out.

It isn't directed at him, after all.

"I've got to carry my father's name and everything that he was all on my shoulders. I can't let his life's work fall to the ground because of me."

His tone started getting a little more emotional now, his face lowered towards his knee with obvious sadness and stress, pushed further down by the hand that's still resting on his head.

Oh no, he shouldn't go into one of these loops again. He's been through enough of those by now.

"Chanyeol, you have to calm down... Work is hard. I know, I see it. Even if you had a shitty day I'll be with you when it's over. My heart is yours with your money and without it."

Kyungsoo felt like he needed to cringe after saying such corny words to his boyfriend, but he held it back and pet the other's hair softly. He knows that these concerns are way bigger than the fact that their relationship exists.

Chanyeol's mind concentrates all these fears into the subject of their connection because it's the thing most important in his heart, which is flattering, but Kyungsoo knows that the bigger picture of this anxiety is the general failure of the company and the consequences it'll send upon the thousands of people who work in it.

"I don't think I'll be able to face myself if I lose all of this..."

He mumbled lowly, but his fear is slowly transforming into other negative emotions as well. Kyungsoo shouldn't let it spread.

"You won't lose anything. I know."

Kyungsoo claimed before Chanyeol's aura suddenly shifted into something distant. He's too late. His boyfriend then snickered darkly with his face still turned down.

"How the fuck do you know...?"

Chanyeol's voice was cold.

Kyungsoo has to stay confident. He won't be affected by these changes anymore, it's just another one of those swings that Chanyeol's mental breakdown is still not over with. He removed his hand gently from his boyfriend's head.

"Because I know. You just gotta---"

"You don't know. You don't know what it's like to lose something that meant the world to you..."

His voice feels like spikes are pricking into Kyungsoo's ears, and he can't utter a word in reply to that statement.

"You don't know what it's like to lose at all."

Now it was really a definitive claim. Regardless of the fact that it's incorrect, Kyungsoo really doesn't want to get into a confrontation right now. After so many days of constant pain and exhaustion.

Can't they just spend some time out of their own heads?

 

  
He started feeling uncomfortable with Chanyeol's vibe. He surely is entering another one of his panic modes where everything bad is running through his head and he has little to no control over his emotions.

"Hey, Chanyeol, clam dow---"

"You don't know!!"

Chanyeol suddenly sprung up to stand on his feet and shouted, back tense and shoulders locked rigidly in their position. His fingers were spreaded but shaking as he turned around towards Kyungsoo with anger.

The way he looked down at him was filled with an overload of conflicting emotions. He knows, he knows all of this bad energy isn't directed at him, but it's still not a pleasant position to be in.

"You don't know how it feels to lose someone so dear!!"

More than anything, Kyungsoo was surprised. Because he won't ever get used to the way Chanyeol's intense fierce eyes spear through him like a burning knife. It doesn't happen often, and he hoped it never will again.

It's scary, knowing that chanyeol could easily crash him if he'd like. Knowing the amount of power he holds over every breath he takes. Both physically and mentally.

But Kyungsoo is not going to back down from this. Chanyeol needs to be stopped right now otherwise it'll start another flame the both of them will be further hurt from than this already problematic situation.

He doesn't understand why it came to these high volumes, but he does understand that Chanyeol's filled with anger that sources back to his own guilt, stress and sense of injustice.

And yet, it doesn't justify any of this.

Kyungsoo's body raised up to his feet once the element of shock was gone, and he felt how his muscles are tensing up just as much as his boyfriend's if not more. His palms formed fists that clenched tightly by the sides of his body, and the blood ran up to his brain with the heat of the moment.

He felt choked back for a while. Little tiny tears gathered on the edge of his bottom lids, and his mind kept switching between telling him to stay quiet to take it in, and pushing back against Chanyeol's insensitive accusations.

But it was like a balloon getting filled with more and more hot air, soon enough he will explode from the inside himself, and it's not going to end well.

"That's right!! I don't know what it's like!! I never had a family!! I didn't even have any friends for most of my life!!"

His voice burst out, up at his boyfriend as a shout covered in forgotten pain.

"I didn't have anybody to lose, Chanyeol."

He finished and huffed out the rest of the hot air locking his throat. His eyes turned down to the carpet beneath their feet, and he wondered if at this point he should feel ashamed. Not only for the act of admitting these facts, but for having living through them to begin with.

But he isn't ashamed. Because he's in a different place and a different state of life, and he shouldn't feel embarrassed about what he's experienced in his life.

"Will you please stop this? Haven't you had enough? I know you're upset--- But please."

Kyungsoo knows Chanyeol's life story basically from birth, and yet he was never able to actually say anything about his own. Not because he worried Chanyeol wouldn't be interested, he knows that it's a side of him Chanyeol's really looking forward to knowing. But because he dislikes it so much.

But shouting back like this felt fair, and now the balloon of hot air is deflating out the stress, and there's no need for him to keep the volume high.

"Now we have our friends, and you. I don't plan on losing you. I'm doing my best, really I am. But I can't understand this feeling you're going through, so tell me what else I can do."

He started again, his knuckles no longer pressed in a tight hold and his arms not flexed with tension anymore.

"Chanyeol... Talk to me. Tell me what you're feeling."

Kyungsoo's voice turned even lower in volume, now becoming soft and careful. Immediate regret started filling his chest when he realized he isn't able to turn his face back up and look at his boyfriend's expression.

He didn't mean to get angry. Chanyeol clearly didn't mean it either, but this pain is really affecting them both and he's starting to be infested with sadness.

So he stepped closer in an attempt to make amends, and wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's sides, hugging him tightly and burying his face into the giant's large chest that's noticeably expanding with every breath he takes.

"Please don't get angry... Things are tough. You're hurting. I'm hurting for you as well... We can do it. We did it before, so please..."

Pleads like these feel the worst to express, but it's his honest heart speaking, and if this couldn't penetrate through Chanyeol's thick shield of defensive thinking process he really has no idea what else will.

Somehow their lives combined together is a known recipe for disaster, and it never surprised Kyungsoo once when challenges keep getting thrown at them by fate's tests. But they survive it. They push through and help each other remain strong together. And really, he wouldn't have it any other way.

Silence filled the air for several long moments. But then a sniffle was heard from above his head.

"I-... I'm sorry, Kyungsoo. I love you... I am just so scared... And so fucking sad... You don't deserve any of this bullshit I keep giving you---..."

Finally, the stern block of contained tension loosened between his arms, and Kyungsoo could hug him properly and stroke his back while leaning even closer in.

Long arms covered Kyungsoo's upper body and squeezed him closer into an exceptionally tight embrace. It was almost desperate.

"I've lost so much... I'm tired of losing. I just---... I don't want to lose you too."

Chanyeol's voice was weak and rough, choked with held back tears and self hatred. Kyungsoo hoped that he could telepathically hear him repeat over and over again that he knows. That he is sorry as well. That everything is just so unfair and that he loves Chanyeol.

"You won't. I'm here to stay."

He reassured him instead, because the way his body was trembling from the mass of intense constant work and burden was the worst feeling ever. It's the same weakness, fragility, vulenrability that came out of him when they first met.

Kyungsoo wanted that Chanyeol will never get back to such a state again, but it seems life was able to throw them strong enough against the hard ground to crack it back open.

 

  
After a while of silently standing hugged tight and just breathing, Kyungsoo gathered the courage and rasied his face to look at his lover. Red eyes, shiny drips of tears slowly sliding down his cheeks. He looks miserable and beaten in spirit.

Kyungsoo's heart came out to him, and after tightening his own lips together to fight back the urge to shed some tears himself, he stretched up and began kissing Chanyeol's chin, jaw and neck softly. Simply allowing his lips to touch and vibrate against his skin. It always works like magic, and luckily so did this time.

He huffed out air that was stuck in his lungs for a while and started to slowly relax into Kyungsoo's hold. Breathing slowly, deeply, and pushing out the stress with each exhale.

"You're doing great Chanyeol. I am proud of you... You're so much stronger than you think."

Kyungsoo hummed out warmly before pulling away from the hug. Chanyeol's hands held him by the hips, and with a gentle smile his own hands snaked up to stroke Chanyeol's cheeks and ears. He wiped away a few streams of tears with his thumb while turning his boyfriend's face down lower so he wouldn't have to stretch out that much.

The distance between their faces closed, along with their eyes, and their foreheads touched.

Although there was nothing else happening between them, just standing and breathing like this felt incredibly intimate. Almost sacred.

Maybe instead of their bodies touching, their souls were out to comfort one another through this point of connection.

So maybe Kyungsoo doesn't know how it feels to lose a person that took an important role in his life, but through Chanyeol's struggle he could only watch and learn, and be there to soak it in and accept it the way it is.

Grief comes differently to each person, and while Chanyeol's intense and destructive, uncontrollable and obious, Kyungsoo's own way of expressing the sorrow of the loss comes with a cool head and reasonable precautions.

Losing two people who had such great impact in Chanyeol's life in such a short period of time like this... It's so tough.

But they'll do it. Together.

 

  
\--

 

  
With hard work, determination, compassion and patience, everything can be achieved.

Chanyeol has proven it to be true.

After his last breakdown he had completely turned the tables around and changed his behaviour. While still grieving his loss, he was able to advance further than ever before. Not only on the personal matters with Kyungsoo at home, but at work as well.

He tried to keep his sleeping hours as consistant as possible, took his time to prepare for every work day, made sure to sit down and relax with Kyungsoo whenever it was possible so they could talk and just generally be together, he improved what and how he eats, started working out again to let out steam and even spent some free evenings hanging out with Jongin and a few other friends outside.

Whenever he'd be home, if Kyungsoo returned from work he'd stop whatever he's doing and pamper Kyungsoo up with kisses and attention. And if he knew Kyungsoo had a long day himself he'd get them some sweets to enjoy after dinner.

It was wonderful, really. Kyungsoo's mind was so peaceful and calm.

There weren't any barriers left between the two of them anymore. No physical ones either, since they've been hitting it up together more often than ever. Although only when Kyungsoo doesn't have a day shift the next morning otherwise it'd be a mess.

From the constant updates Kyungsoo is receiving from Chanyeol about his work and how he fits into his position, he learned that the transition in the company's head was actually flawless.

They had a tiny little ceremony at work for the formality, and the entire crew that worked with his father adored him and gladly helped him through the beginning of the scary process. Apparently his father's closest helper was there before Chanyeol was even born. Which sort of helps him stay balanced with a figure to look up to even after the loss.

He explained how the first few days were the hardest because Chanyeol was suddenly exposed to so much more information than he was aware exists when it comes to operating and controlling such a big establishment. But he studied it all thoroughly hard, so dealing with the system was less of a pain.

Changes were made to the company too, some basic rights have been improved for the workers of the lower ranks, and Chanyeol being his own boss and owning this entire organization under his name, erased his monthly salary in order to focus on upgrading what lacks.

He made some clever investments in other airline related businesses, factories, food supplies and other several mechanical companies; Causing his own to skyrocket with income and positive public response to the articles and reviews that spreaded around the media since he had to fit into some really big shoes, and surpassed them.

For a while he'd be talking to Kyungsoo about houses and apartments, giving obvious clues about his wish to move somewhere better together. There was no doubt about the together. But Kyungsoo didn't allow him to execute this plan on his own.

So after about two months of discussion and decision making, the two moved out of their little studios and into a larger fresh apartment located just a single street away in one of the new buildings that recently finished a complete reconstruction.

Kyungsoo insisted on paying a share of the total sum, and there were no longer any spare keys or door knocks. Both of them had their own key to their own home.

Celebrating the new place was a lot of fun. They invited all of their friends for a little party with way too much booze and way too few seats. Even Baekhyun came to join them with some baked goods from his aunt.

Everything was slowly falling into place. Puzzle pieces chaining together into a path of life Kyungsoo never knew he could walk through.

These financial upgrades really don't matter to him, he's done just fine before they were added in his life, and he knows he will do just fine if they will ever be gone. But the sense of connection with people around him, with a certain person beside him have woken up his own humanity.

 

  
Chanyeol has been out and away a few times since the big change in their lives. Strengthening the business ties with his partners world wide and securing the future of his company successfully. These short travels bore no harm on the connection between Kyungsoo and him.

They were short and work focused, so he sometimes didn't even have the time to bring back any special gifts. Not that Kyungsoo needed any of those. He did however come back with a new mug each time. Their wall cabinet in the kitchen is flooded with the ever growing colorful mugs collection already.

Although the basic conditions of Kyungsoo's life have changed to those some consider are almost high class, he hasn't changed at all.

He still works almost every single day at the bar and still insists to pay his own share of the taxes every month. Having a convenient life doesn't mean he is allowed to be lazy and take it for granted. Nothing comes for free.

In all honesty, Kyungsoo does consider himself lazy. But in private. He's lazy when he knows he's allowed to be. When he has free time and no other responsibilities to attend to, he'd easily be seen as lazy from the way he spends that time nearly motionlessly.

It is now the middle of spring and Kyungsoo is more than happy about the change in the weather. At least until summer returns with the hot rains, he is free of umbrellas. And it feels great to walk around without having to carry a giant coat for extra protection.

Chanyeol came back from work hungrier than ever, and when they sat down to eat Kyungsoo's trusty cooked dishes, he proposed that Kyungsoo would join him for his short business trip to Japan the following week.

Kyungsoo was surprised from the offer, but he is a closeted weeaboo and even though he never even thought of such an opportunity to arise into something within his abilities to execute, he couldn't decline.

Happily Chanyeol took care of all the preparations and before Kyungsoo knew it, they have already landed in Japan.

The travel to the airport, through it, the flight itself, and the arrival were all strange new experiences for Kyungsoo. He did his best to not show outwards just how much curiousity was being contained under his neutral expression. Chanyeol didn't seem to notice it at least, so that's a tiny victory for him.

When they stepped outside carrying their own luggage, a black expensive branded car was already waiting for them right near the exit. The driver stood against the car's side patiently, and when he noticed them he immediately bowed and helped Kyungsoo place his suitcase in the trunk. He would have helped Chanyeol, but he giant did it on his own.

From there they were driven to Shinagawa.

Kyungsoo's eyes were glued out of the window the entire ride, while Chanyeol's one hand held onto his, and the other was busy tapping away on his phone to announce his arrival to the right people.

Their stay in Japan will last mere two and a half days. And even so, Kyungsoo's internal excitement about standing on a ground so far away from his own hometown that he's barely ever left other than the few visits to Baekhyun's place, was very much present.

He knows Chanyeol is there for business and therefore will most likely be absent from joined activities during that time, but he was definitely right. Even the air feels different.

The sun was shining although the weather was really a little chilly. And Kyungsoo was speechless when their car passed by the main street right under the cherry blossom trees that are in the beginning of their blooming process.

Was this trip actually planned? But there's no way, he knows Chanyeol would be busy. He hoped that at least they will be able to pass by these beautiful almost pink flower petals drifting under the treetops again on their way back.

The streets were bustling with locals and tourists who enjoy the day and the rare bloom of these trees.

Their driver stopped in front of the hotel.

When Kyungsoo looked out of the window and up at the building they're going to enter, he would have never thought such a generic looking building from the outside could even be a hotel. At least, not from his grand knowledge about hotels through movies and TV shows. It looked like any other offices tower that are spread all across his own hometown.

After the two of them bowed to the man who drove them there, they proceeded right to the automatic glass doors at the entrance.

At the moment these doors opened, Kyungsoo was shocked to find out he was the exact opposite of correct by assuming anything about the place. The door closed behind them as they started walking in the large hall with hightened ceiling towards the reception.

Everything looked extremely clean and shiny. The black quartz floor tiles were almost like a mirror, white walls with black and silver unique uneven patterns were just as sparkly. Pictures of beautiful floral scenery were the only thing giving this entire space some color except for the few green plants decorations located at each of the hall's corners.

It was a lot to take in. Even the waiting area was all designed with the same monochromatic tones. This place was simply out of this world.

 

  
The elevator had a matching design to the main entrance space, so did the hallways leading to the rooms.

But at the moment Chanyeol passed the room's key card against the lock and the mechanism opened the door for them, it was yet another visual surprise for Kyungsoo's inexperienced eyes.

Their room wasn't even just a room. This place was larger than Kyungsoo's whole old studio apartment. Chanyeol's too. Everything looked extremely cosy and homey. Different tones of cream, wood and green were the main colors influencing the place's design.

When entering the room they are met with a living room space combined with a small kitchen and even a little bar right beside it. A large television screen, two cream leather couches standing in front of it, a coffee table made of glass and even a dining table fit for at least six people were all a part of this room.

The large windows at the other end were actually a door leading to a not entirely open balcony that Kyungsoo soon found out was in the perfect location to view the entire main street with its blooming beautiful trees and greenery.

A single other door led to the bedroom containing a large closet for utilities such as extra blankets, pillows and even a safe, a bed almost twice the size of their own already gigantic one, another television, and a small mini fridge containing mainly beers. From that room was a passage to the toilet that made Kyungsoo feel dirty by simply standing inside it. A large mirror, bathtub with jacuzzi and bubbly shower soaps. All in the same cream themed colors.

It was beautiful. The most luxurious place Kyungsoo has ever got the honor to stay at so far in his life.

Except for maybe that one time he was brought over to this one rich man's house, which was a pretty big deal for him back then, but compared to this? His old hookup from five years ago was nothing.

Kyungsoo's short self-tour in their room was all the time he could spend with Chanyeol there, because right when he returned to the living room he saw Chanyeol pampering and preparing his hair to go out again in front of the mirror.

Which was fine, really, Kyungsoo knew he came here as an extra and that his boyfriend will be doing other things.

Before leaving their room though, Chanyeol made sure to recharge him with some affection, and the two decided they'd meet out for an early dinner in a restaurant located not too far away from their hotel. Chanyeol spent some of this precious time explaining to Kyungsoo how the navigation app on his phone works, just to make sure he will be able to have the freedom to do anything if he'd want to. Since it's an entire new country and all.

Then he pressed a final peck to Kyungsoo's forehead and left their room for the day.

Standing all alone in the giant hotel room like this doesn't seem like a very interesting way to spend time on his own. So Kyungsoo spent a while just exploring the different gadgets in the room.

He checked the water taps and the toilet, the fridges and the televisions. Read how to operate the safe located in the closet, and even found out the way to activate the jacuzzi part of the tub in the bathroom. Not very exciting, but handy if he's going to be spending more time here than Chanyeol who probably knows how to do all of what he just learned.

After spending some time seated on one of the couches and doing the research about his current location, Kyungsoo decided he will go on an adventure. It's not every day that he gets to be anywhere far from the place he already knows as well as the back of his own hand.

He's fairly decent in japanese, at least in his head. So he will be able to manage around either with his limited japanese skills, or limited english skills.

He grabbed one of Chanyeol's comfortable sweaters out of his suitcase for himself, and checked in front of the mirror if it somehow looks acceptable on him.

Obviously, it does. Because Kyungsoo looks great no matter what he wears and he knows that. Plus it even fits pretty fashionably with his general comfortable and small vibe of blending in with other people. Because the last thing he'd want is to stick out. So he grabbed his phone, wallet and room key card, and left as well.

When back at the lobby he bowed to each of the workers passing around politely, getting smiles and bows in return. Was he being awkward? Strange? Probably. But these workers look friendly, so it doesn't matter.

And he's out in the street. Surrounded by hundreds of pedestrians, and yet alone.

 

  
Really, the air is so different. It feels somewhat more fresh than back home.

So after filling his lungs with the new enegy, Kyungsoo let his feet take him wherever they felt like, and began wandering on his own.

The first location he visited was the main street right beneath his room's balcony. It was simply stunning. Tall pink trees stretching all above him, small petals drifting down on his hair and onto his opened palm as if led by magic.

The beauty had a price though, because as gorgeous as it was to watch the view, there were hundreds if not thousands of loud people in every possible patch of free space in the entire area. And he, being an inexperienced traveller, didn't really know how to handle himself when surrounded by such a mass of people.

Quickly, but not quite quickly enough, his feet dragged him away to one of the side streets with less of an intense flow of humans.

It took him a few moments to calm back down, and yet there was still a hint of anxiousness stuck in his mood. He shouldn't let it ruin his entire day though. There are still about three more hours to pass until the destined time of his meeting with Chanyeol at the restaurant he has saved in the navigation application.

Now since he will be able to easily tell his way when he wishes to return, he didn't really hold back on his curiousity to explore the area.

It was a whole new world for him.

Most of the place's entertainment was to head over to what looks like crowded shopping centers around the area. Or even a street that got blocked off in order to open different stands.

Very festive was the general mood of the environment. Kyungsoo knows that the cherry blossoms are a big deal in Japan, so it's only understandable there will be a massive commercialized financial benefit to pushing in that direction.

At first it was pretty interesting to watch the people play around with their kids at the stands spreaded in the area. Buying adorable looking toys, playing target games and purchasing some local snacks, all in the theme of the special Sakura Festival.

Kyungsoo couldn't hold the temptation and bought himself a little pink snack in the shape of a flower. It was way too sweet when he took a bite into it, but not bad. So he finished it all while crossing some more streets just to tackle one crowded center of activites after another.

It's a whole new place Kyungsoo never knew, so many more people than he's used to, street names he's having trouble reading, a language he only vaguely understands, noises his ears can't quite adjust to with familiarity, and he's having trouble staying calm.

He really tried his best to keep it down, remain relaxed and open minded to all of the new sensations coming at him from every direction all around.

To try and battle the anxiety building heavier and heavier in the pits of his stomach, Kyungsoo activated his application on the phone and started following it towards the restaurant where he will be meeting Chanyeol again.

There is still almost an hour until their meetup time.

Whoa, he didn't even realize so long had passed since he left the hotel. How long did he spend just standing and doing nothing in the middle of the street just because he couldn't move from the over crowded location?

It's fine. He will stand there and wait for Chanyeol anyway. It's better than keeping himself stuck in this uncomfortable situation.

Maybe eating that sugary snack from before wasn't such a great idea. Because now it feels like all of his senses are hightened. So the more he advances through the people flooded streets, the stronger he feels his anxiety growing.

 

  
It was no use.

He's too late to escape.

The pressure was getting far too noticeable, he became extremely anxious. So much in fact that his vision started getting blurry even with his glasses and he felt dizzy and out of balance.

He stopped in the middle of the street hopelessly. Breathing fast with difficulty, sweat dripping down his back even though chill wind brushes against his face. He was helpless. His eyes kept bouncing all around the place, trying to catch anybody's attention and signal them he needs help with his eyes.

As humiliating as it'll be, he simply cannot handle this on his own. The fear and paranoia have taken over him entirely. If only anybody would notice him and pull him out of this river of people.

But nobody did.

Everyone just kept walking around him. Either ignoring his existence, or bumping into him, entering his personal space and pushing him further out of his mental lack of balance. Every person whether intentionally or unintentionally touching him only made it at least ten times worse.

With a stressed huff of choked back air, Kyungsoo brought up the phone and tapped on it with severely shaking fingers, being pushed by more and more bumps towards the inner side of the pavement against the walls. He lost his sense of direction entirely. He could barely even raise his head high enough to look directly in front of him at this point.

Everything around him was spinning while he squinted his eyes and managed to set the navigator's destination to be Chanyeol's current location.

He needs help. He needs Chanyeol.

There are too many people, too many things he doesn't know and doesn't understand. He's like a fish thrown out of the water. Or perhaps an armadillo thrown into water. He felt like he was drowning even though there was far enough air for him to inhale from.

While focusing his entire weakened attention on the device, he tried to follow the green line that would lead him to Chanyeol.

Even walking was difficult. Normally he would never allow himself to be seen in such a state of distress, but his mind couldn't even comprehend what other people around him might be thinking from the amount of panic washing over him in strong waves as quick as his own insanely fast pulse rate.

In order to advance he literally had to press a hand against the wall beside him at all times to know that he's even standing straight at all.

He wasn't sure how long had passed, but the line leading him to his new destination was extremely short already, which means he must be fairly close to his target. Fairly close to the person he knows could help. Or least, hoped would be able to help.

Except at that exactly second of momentary hope, another person bumped into him pretty roughly against the wall and he fell down to the ground with a choked gasp that only triggered yet another panicky session of extreme difficulty to breathe again. He was completely disoriented.

It's pointless, he's doomed. There's no way he can get up again. At this point he'd really rather remain right there and hope the pavement will swallow him whole.

So that's exactly what he did.

He panted heavily while pressing his back against the building's wall and hugging around his own legs. Face burried down into his knees with the hoodie of Chanyeol's jacket covering him even further. This was his one and only best option to hide. He has to hide. Stay silent. Pretend he doesn't exist at all.

Even with his eyes shut tightly and heart drumming right in his ears, he could hear the sounds of people walking in front of him loud and clear. Soles hitting the ground, heels knocking in a quick pace of impatiency.

Out of everything he couldn't recognize, only that ticking sound of heels piercing against the ground were the most familiar from reasons he wished he could wipe out of his brain.

 

  
The next time Kyungsoo opened his eyes he wasn't out in the street anymore. He wasn't in any street, he wasn't outside at all. He wasn't in Japan.

With blood churning in his head Kyungsoo's world had turned red. Black, and white, and more red. Like a playback of an old tape after having a red dye spilled all over the film.

He's actually in a familiar place, a house he knows. An apartment with doors that can't be locked. Cracked floor tiles, stained walls and dents of force decorating every surface big enough to behold a bunch. The sickening smell of cigarettes mixed with decaying food and wasted alcohol drenched dirty carpet floats into his nose and makes him feel like puking.

A smell he sadly knows all too well. A smell that defined his path in life without him having a say in the mattr.

It's noisy, car engines and honks are heard from outside the half shut windows, a single siren passed by as well. But something is wrong. Although this place he knows so well is just the same, something is still missing.

Everything is much larger than himself and his adult body proportions. Maybe he entered wonderland just like Alice, is what he thought for a second. Until he looked down at his own palms and realized he didn't shrink, but rather, was thrown back in time. His little childhood plams and short fingers stretched in front of him. Boney and thin.

And then it came. What has been missing from his memory of this god awful place.

A distant sound of steps began echoing in the staircase right outside of this little apartment's door. It was weak and slow at first. And yet Kyungsoo's little childhood heart began racing already.

It got stronger, faster, more intense, closer. These weren't just normal steps, it was the sound of a pointy heel snapping against the cement stairs and bouncing off the walls all the way up to the higher floor.

Instinct went into play, and when the sharp steps came close to enough to be estimatedly located in front of the door, Kyungsoo's own shorter limbs started pulling him into the only room he often falsely imagined was safe. His own.

In hurried scared motions he saw the way his little hand closed the room's door behind him, and right after his body clumsily slipped down on the floor into a lying position, only so that he could crawl right underneath his own bed in the most efficient way.

Now in the silence of his own shushed breathing, and with the background noise of only his own pulse, he heard the apartment's door opening and closing. A croaky shrieking shout calling his name, and the sharp pointy painful heels walking right to his room. Wildly the door was slammed against the wall and made a few of his paper paintings fall off to the floor.

It's not real.

It's not really happening. This is just him living through his own past experience, right? There's no way that the shoe knocking on the floor right in front of his face is really there, right?

He will suffer, he knows that. It will hurt, it'll burn, it will leave scars on his heart that will never truly heal again. His own mother and her pointy sharp heels will tear him apart all over again.

No, it can't be.

She's saying his name again, slow and suggestive, almost as if trying to lure him out of the only safe spot in the house. In the place he used to call home.

It sent shivers of terror all over his smaller body. A knee now landed on the floor in front of him from his vision from under the bed. And another.

He can see his mother's chipped red nails grabbing onto the bottom of the bed. No.

She's leaning down, she will see him, and then he really is doomed.

He doesn't want to hurt anymore. He doesn't want to feel like he is going to die in his mother's hands again.

His breaths are pained and stuttered, weak and fast, tears are already streaming down from his eyes, and he knows what's coming for him.

 

  
A weird sound started filling his ears now.

"...---soo?"

What is this? His mother's movements stopped like a paused movie.

If she isn't calling his name, then who is?

"---soo? Kyungsoo? Hey, are you alright?"

Now it's a voice he knows, his vision from under the bed is fading like storm clouds pushed by the wind, and instead he blinks into a whole new world surrounding him. The real world.

The voice is deep and low, it resonated with his heart and slid into each pump like a new flow of blood.

Several more blinks of his eyes revealed a blurry view in front of him. A face, and people. A whole lot of people who just walk in the background like he doesn't exist. Did it work then? Is he over? Is this nightmare over?

Warmth was sliding slowly across his jaw and cheeks, and only after finally inhaling some air into his lungs he realized two thumbs are stroking away wetness that he didn't even know was streaming down his face. For how long? What time is it? He's back in Japan now, his mother is nowhere to be seen, only the face in front of him.

"Hey, hey Kyungsoo... What happened?"

The voice spread in his body like the heat of a furnace, and after a couple more breaths, Kyungsoo recognized the face in front of him. It's Chanyeol. Chanyeol right in front of him, close and warm.

"You look awful, why are you crying? How long have you been here?"

It's Chanyeol. His Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo slowly raised his hands and slid them over Chanyeol's chest. Higher and higher up over his shoulders and neck, and without saying a word he simply wrapped around him and pulled himself into the giant's body.

Silently he buried into Chanyeol, who didn't even hesitate to embrace his entire body with all the tightness in the world.

"Hey... I'm here... My dearest... What happened to you?"

His voice was now filled with worry and a hint of sorrow, and Kyungsoo's only response was the burst of sobs that blew out of him unexpectedly and uncontrollably. With palms gripping tight to the back of Chanyeol's clothes, and face hidden in his chest, all he could do was cry.

Kyungsoo's not in that house anymore. He's nowhere close. He's so far away in his body and mind. All these years he prayed he'd never have to suffer a visit, but it seems such occurance was unavoidable after all.

The kid in that house had died long ago.

Kyungsoo is a whole different human being. He's become a new person at the moment he was taken away from that world of nightmares and pain.

Luckily, having Chanyeol this close was great help to stabilize his mind. And quickly enough he had calmed down from the saddned tears, the aftermath of his mental breakdown out in the streets. The two of them were just there, just breathing. Just existing in the real world far away from whatever hell he had left behind.

When he pulled his head back away from its hidden spot in Chanyeol's clothes, he was met with an expression filled with so many emotions. Relief, fear, concern, warmth, empathy. The way his eyes were shining hinted that the giant must have been holding back his own tears all this time in order to allow Kyungsoo to let it all out.

Kyungsoo's heart was at peace. His mind was, too.

It's over. And Chanyeol is right here.

Slowly he stroked Chanyeol's cheek and ear with his palm before cracking into weak laughter of honest relief. The giant gave him confused looks, and honestly, if the situation was the other way around and Chanyeol would suddenly begin laughing after such intense crying, he would also be puzzled.

"You're here."

He mumbled softly, a smile still apparent on his lips as he looked at Chanyeol's face with fondness. Because he is fond. He is thankful and happy and so, so glad that he exists. That he's part of his life.

Chanyeol's expression softened from the strong concern, and he cracked a very small smile himself, allowing Kyungsoo's fingers to travel all over his cheeks, jaw, and even over his lidded eyes.

He even leaned into the touch a little. Nobody around them seemed to have been aware of their actions at all, except for one guy standing a few meters away and holding car keys in his hands.

"I am here."

Chanyeol hummed in return and gave Kyungsoo's forehead a long affectionate kiss before finally standing and pulling him up effortlessly. With an arm to support his weight, he led them both into the car that the keys holder drove back to their hotel.

 

  
Once back in their room Chanyeol was more than glad to assist Kyungsoo with the tasks of ending a day. Maybe not in the shower itself, since Kyungsoo was too exhausted and his body was still too tense from the overwhelming anxiety attack he'd experiened.

But anything else went.

Dressing up, drying his hair, making sure he ate the food Chanyeol ordered from the restaurant they were supposed to eat at instead of sitting there. Kyungsoo realized that this must be how Chanyeol felt when Kyungsoo was the one to take care of him.

Well, not in such a large expensive scale, but the good healing intentions behind the actions.

He was grateful that Chanyeol made him feel so loved, rather than feel like the burden he was convinced he would become when he came back to his senses upon their return.

After all was done, and Chanyeol was finally within his reach on the large bed in front of the television that's broadcasting a show about flowers, Kyungsoo could truly relax. With the view of the city from the window, the clear skies which look empty of stars because of the lights emitted from the bustling nightlife of Shinagawa. He was at peace.

Chanyeol smelled fresh and his naked upper body was warm from seconds ago leaving the shower himself.

With a gentle smile the giant's long arms slithered around Kyungsoo's waist, and he ended up moving so close above his body so that his head rested against Kyungsoo's chest, too. The heat covering his entire body felt really nice and safe.

It was intimate, but without any sexual tension. Just affection and closeness that they've missed, or in Kyungsoo's case, require at this moment.

"I am sorry about today, Kyungsoo. It must have been scary for you... I didn't realize this. I'm so used to travelling that the thought of you not having done it before hasn't even crossed my mind."

His deep voice vibrated against Kyungsoo's chest as he spoke. Gentle voice of true atonement and regret. There is nothing for him to apologize for. Kyungsoo himself could have easily declined the offer to join.

He could have done better research ahead of time to know what he needs to be prepared for. It wasn't only Chanyeol's responsibility to take care of him like some sort of pet. It's true that he came along like an added persona to the journey, but Kyungsoo is strong. Or at least... When he knows what he's doing.

"It's not your fault. I'm just glad it's over."

Kyungsoo hummed in return, before feeling Chanyeol's head shift its position on his chest, until they were facing each other. He still can't comprehend the fact that Chanyeol's entire body can still fit on the bed even when lying only over Kyungsoo's own lower body.

"I don't want to pry into painful wounds but... When I found you down in the street, you kept saying 'No' and 'She is coming for me again' a few times... If anyone has harmed you when I wasn't around I swear---"

Chanyeol spoke, but his tone changed into a determined, slightly fired up claim of accusation. He even raised an arm from under Kyungsoo in order to clench a fist and swing it up in the air beside their huddled bodies.

He is so precious. So adorable.

Kyungsoo chuckled softly from the thought of Chanyeol possibly fighting against anyone if he has trouble getting rid of little bugs that sometimes fly into their house back in South Korea. But he appreciated the thought behind the gesture, and began rubbing Chanyeol's ears with his fingers fondly to tease him.

Like the puppy that he is, Chanyeol's mouth shut right away and his expression started oozing comfort and relaxation. His ears are so soft, his hair is soft, his embrace around Kyungsoo's body is also soft.

With a bit of an effort Kyungsoo was able to plant a small kiss on his forehead before letting his head fall back on the pillow and staring at the ceiling. His hands meanwhile switched from rubbing his boyfriend's ears to trailing through his hair slowly.

 

  
He knew there was something Chanyeol wants to know. And frankly, deserves to know too.

"I was born into poverty. My father was never there. Maybe not even alive, I don't know. I am pretty sure I was born on accident, too. Because my mother was way too young and reckless to raise anybody. Not even herself."

Kyungsoo began. Images of memories he still has of his mother flashing in his mind.

"She brought guys over every day, smoked, drank... You know, the usual bad bullshit. This whole thing sounds like a sad backstory of a character in a grade C movie. I was left to take care of myself and eat the scraps of food she used to order with the men who came by."

Chanyeol's hair feels soft to the touch, it's soothing.

"She never liked me. Very obviously so. After a particularly terrible argument she had with one of her guys, the neighbours must have had enough and called child protection. I was taken away that very same day, only to see my mother thanking god that I will finally be gone even though she was getting arrested."

He continued, calmly. The memories are playing in his head, but he doesn't have any feelings towards them anymore.

"I was brought to the orphanage where I wrecked havoc all over. Didn't expect me to be that type of kid did you?"

Kyungsoo let out a small chuckle and turned to look at Chanyeol again. His eyes were soft yet attentive. He was listening deeply to every single word being said with sincere care.

The hug around his body tightened just enough for the stroking motions over Chanyeol's hair to feel more comfortable without putting the extra effort of stretching at all. He really is like some sort of a huge puppy.

"I was a mess. I didn't really do anything to the other kids, just... Couldn't handle the world. Maybe I was influenced from the only things I knew. In the end it resulted in me not getting adopted for years."

He's so glad that Chanyeol is this close to him, because the smell of his shampoo blocks off all of the memories regarding the annoying scent of the kitchen in that establishment.

"When I was fourteen the orphanage decided to disown me after I used all of the safety pins to create a giant blanket out of every piece of cloth in the building, and then painting on it. Stupid, right? But I guess that was their last straw."

Kyungsoo chuckled again, remembering the way the other younger kids were staring at him meticulously pin each corner to another in awe. Chanyeol hummed softly in return, to express the event indeed sounds amusing, but the situation itself was not.

So careful with his reaction. He feels Chanyeol's protectiveness levels rising.

"I was brought out to the car to be taken some place else, but I ran away through the streets and bumped into the bar owner. Who told me years later that when he saw that spark of inner rage in my eyes he felt the need to snap it out of me."

A long exhale.

"He didn't adopt me. Just took me in after officially releasing me from the orphanage's hold, and I started working. And learning about life. About responsibilities, sex, adulthood. That's where I stayed. That rage in me was fast gone with the hard work, I was sure the memories were too. But it seems they still found their way back."

Kyungsoo turned to look back at his lover, who shifted in his position to pull even closer and lay on top of his entire body, arms now wrapping around Kyungsoo's shoulders and head and pulling him into the nook of Chanyeol's neck.

It was warm. Chanyeol's skin smells so nice and feels so soft to lean against.

He sighed softly, although heavy, this weight was pleasant. Like a block compressing down all of the negativity out of him and making it drip like squeezed fruit. Fingertips ran over Chanyeol's exposed upper body just to feel him.

"And then came you."

Kyungsoo added one last time with a grin and kissed whichever patch of skin his lips were closest to, hearing Chanyeol's heart speed up just a little, and feeling like the luckiest man on the planet.

Even after exposing the dirty past he never really talked about before, he is lucky.

 

  
How can he consider himself unlucky when the most amazing human in the world is hugging him so tightly and close like this.

"Thank you for telling me, Kyungsoo. I promise I'll make it up to you... We'll travel somewhere and it'll be the best vacation ever. So don't give up on it yet... alright?"

Somehow, the fact that Chanyeol simply took it in so well and accepted it without hesitation, so quickly and lovingly that he was able to seamlessly switch the subject into something so positive, was exactly what Kyungsoo needed.

He really didn't want this evening to turn into some miserable sob story time. He's had his fair share of sadness and pain, they both have. So while staying so far away from it all, a bright Chanyeol was the best medicine.

Esepcially since this cheerfulness of his right now is genuine and honest.

The giant allowed his body to fall beside Kyungsoo and he pulled him into yet another tight hug, but this time, it was almost posessive. It was secure and protective, like Chanyeol's trying to combine them into one being so that Kyungsoo wouldn't be exposed to the world.

Maybe the feeling is mutual. Maybe just as much as Kyungsoo wished he could protect Chanyeol from the world's cruel reality, Chanyeol thinks the same way. It was the best cuddle they've had in a while, because although calm, it was intense, strong and filled with emotion.

All wrapped up and safe in the arms of his lover.

Chanyeol hasn't said a word after that. No words needed to be said. Kyungsoo felt like he was being treasured like a rare ancient jewel.

Without even realizing, he found himself sniffling with renewed tears in his eyes, and only further buried the two of them under the warm covers to let these stream down as the final act of letting go and leaving this day behind them. At least a part of it.

He felt a little silly for tearing up and crying quietly again after having already been done with the subject, but it was good. It felt good to push these burdens out of the depths of his heart.

The best part was when he finished though. Because Chanyeol didn't let him move for five whole minutes straight while repeatedly kissing him all over the face and head. Forehead once, twice, nose four times, left cheek, forehead again, lips for at least a minute, and then the chin.

They giggled together into the night, and with Chanyeol's soothing slow strokes over his back, Kyungsoo slept in harmony.

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

(NSFW warning.)

 

 

It's late.

Kyungsoo had trouble opening his eyes in the morning, so he simply kept them shut until at noon he was finally awaken naturally.

Vague memory of himself getting kissed several times earlier clouds his mind for a while as he allows his body to slowly regain consciousness and feeling at the edges of his nerves. Beside him the bed is empty, but he was very tightly tucked in the blanket like a burrito.

Chanyeol had already left for work, obviously. Which means he will be spending the day on his own again. With a yawn and a squint he began stretching himself across the bed underneath the warm covers. His muscles felt sore and there was a subtle general ache beating across his limbs. It must be the leftover stress from yesterday's events.

There's no way he's going to put himself through the same situation again. He pushed himself too hard without knowing what will happen simply because he didn't even know anything like this could happen to him at all.

When at his own hometown he has no worries or anxiety whatsoever. Maybe it's the familiarity, but it's still alright.

But here, out in the big world with no knowledge of what to do, where to go, and how, he was powerless.

It's better to trust Chanyeol's words instead.

He'll make it up to him, they will go somewhere together and Kyungsoo wouldn't be left alone then. So he shouldn't give up on the whole idea of travelling. Logically too, it'd be smart to give it another chance. Especially since his boyfriend is literally the owner of an airline. He'd be a fool not to take advantage of it even if just a little.

While brushing his teeth and staring at his own bedhead in the bathroom's mirror, Kyungsoo was debating whether or not he should try to go out again. Deciding fairly quickly on a big No. But going around within the hotel's grounds doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Hunger hasn't yet kicked in due to his slightly sleepy state, so it'll be fine to skip ordering any lunch, since it's way too late for breakfast at this hour already.

He let his body fall back down on the bed while checking his own cellphone. Bless the wifi.

A few messages from Baekhyun came, where he spoke about how his dog managed to get the neighbours' dog pregnant so now he will be an uncle. A very obvious smile rose up on Kyungsoo's face when he saw the lovely picture of Baekhyun goofily posing next to his clueless dog.

Other than that there was an invitation from Jongin to come and watch his performance in a few weeks. Which Kyungsoo happily agreed to come and be part of the audience.

And a message from Chanyeol telling him to have a wonderful day. And that he loves him.

And Kyungsoo does too. He loves Chanyeol too.

What a great start of a day for his mind even with the background exhaustion from yesterday that still lingers unfairly. He'll push through it. Things are already getting way better all around him.

With this new boost of energy and encouragement due to the good news and positivity, he came to the conclusion that sitting around in the hotel room and doing nothing all day, although appealing, would only have the opposite effect of what he wants to achieve. Even without going out to the streets Kyungsoo surely will be able to find some activities to partake in.

A short walk around the room in order to get himself some water from the kitchen unit was the perfect solution, because he found a pamphlet resting on the coffee table near the couches when he looked towards the window.

It appears that there are quite a lot of things he wouldn't have known about this hotel if not for finding this paper.

There is a restaurant on the roof. A gym, an indoor pool and a small spa area on the underground floors. At the top of the descriptive explanations about each of these attractions which are written in both english and japanese, he saw a shining golden star.

'All services require no extra payment from guests with the All-included package.'

Hmmm.

Just for the heck of it, Kyungsoo brought his hotel room's key card and examined it for a few moments, only to spot a similar shining golden star. Aha. So Kyungsoo shouldn't be worried about spending the day at the hotel at all.

 

  
He took his time in the room though. Watched television for a while, and got caught up with the colorful fun local commercials that grabbed his attention. It's way more interesting than the boring and very dramatically narrated Korean commercials back at home.

When done with the entertainment, he changed his attire and put on his swimsuit. Simple trunks in the color blue, but with little pictures of gold fish on it in a pattern, and a regular white T-shirt.

The hotel provided the bathroom with enough towels for at least eight people even though it was meant for just a couple, so he had no trouble grabbing one of the white towels with him down to the pool's floor.

It was a little surprising to find that he wasn't the only guest there.

The pool was large and devided into two sections. One section shaped like an olympic pool, which is where he noticed at least three older men swimming slowly in laps. Another section was deep enough for adults but had no dividers between the lines, and the third section was shallow enough to provide entertainment for children.

There were no chilren around though, so that was a relief. Kyungsoo came there to relax, not to listen to possibly loud kids splashing at each other.

He noticed two older ladies standing in the water by the pool's wall and talking with each other in japanese, and another younger guy leaning against the edge with his eyes closed.

Good enough. It's quiet and peaceful, there is even pleasant jazz music playing from the wall mounted speakers around the pool. He easily pulled off his shirt and neatly folded it together with his glasses, belongings and towel on one of the resting chairs before entering the water.

Without a sense of time he easily swam a few laps in the empty line of the olympic section, then let himself float on his back around the middle section with his eyes closed. It was really nice to feel so weightless and disconnected from the world and its heavy burdens even if just for the time he spent with a blank mind like a cloud on top of the water.

After the almost theraputic activity he huddled in the blanket to dry up while resting in the comfortable long chair and watching the select people who are still in the water doing their thing.

Not long later, he noticed a mother arriving with a small child wearing a bunch of floaties around them. In all honesty it looked pretty adorable, and the kid's laughter when playing in the shallow waters with their mother was actually not annoying at all.

But after drying up it's better to wash the chlorine off the body. So he planned to get back to the room and clean up, but when he stood up a worker with a friendly smile came to him and bowed lightly.

"I couldn't help but notice you own our all-included package key card."

"Oh... Ah, yes."

Kyungsoo wasn't sure with what intentions the worker approached him, but he wasn't alarmed or scared. It was a worker after all.

"Would you want to receive a treatment at our spa? No extra charge required. You deserve it! The service includes a fifteen minutes stay in the sauna, deep skin scrubbing, and a cleansing oils full body massage."

He wouldn't admit it, but Kyungsoo knew that his eyes must have sparked up from hearing what he is able to receive. The worker probably noticed it as well, because before Kyungsoo responded with any words he already gestured towards the passage that leads to the spa.

When he entered he saw a few more workers standing and talking, but when he passed by they bowed to him in a friendly manner, which he returned politely.

It feels so weird to be treated with this much respect, or really to be in this place at all. Almost like he is living the luxurious life he only saw in movies before.

The sauna felt weird, the deep scrubbing was rough and almost painful, leaving his skin slightly pink after removing layers of dead skin he didn't even know he had on his body. Kyungsoo considers himself a very clean person, but he never peeled off an entire layer of skin before so no wonder he never knew his body worked like that.

Luckily, the massage right after was the perfect remedy. The oils calmed down his sensitive skin and pressed all of the soreness out of his tense muscles after yesterday's breakdown that he had almost forgot about from the relaxation.

When it was all over and done, he felt extremely sleepy and relaxed, so he couldn't even say no to the special cream the nice masseuse lady gave him to apply to his skin after washing himself.

 

  
When back in the room, although the hour was too late for lunch and too early for dinner, he ordered some room service of high quality sushi and a bottle of champaigne. Because why not.

He finished it all slowly and enjoyed it to the fullest, but didn't even open the champainge.

Following the food, Kyungsoo set himself a proper bubble bath and cleaned up the remains of his cleansing experience at the pool and the spa. Playing with the bubbles through the entire bath and humming songs to himself.

He managed to time his bath along with the sunset outside the window. So it was almost magical to see the orange sun rays hit right on the bubbles and reflect beautifully on the soap. He may or may have not acted like he was an actor filming a sexy bath scene with this lighting. But who can judge him? Nobody.

Agreeing to take the cream from the masseuse in the spa was the second best decision he has made today. Because when he applied it all over his entire body after the bath his skin not only smelled like heaven, but also felt as smooth as a baby's butt.

The day had turned twice as good as it was when he found out that there were actually white soft and fluffy shower robes hanging on the inside of the bathroom's door. So instead of getting into actual clothes, he wrapped the gentle cloth around his body with nothing underneath and slumped back into the bed.

Huddled in the blanket all cosy and warm, he finally opened the champaigne bottle and sipped on it in while watching the television in the bedroom.

It might be his only chance to pretend that he actually lives such a luxurious lifestyle, and what screams that more than champaigne in a fancy room, in bed, while wearing a robe? If it turned out too expensive he just pay back to Chanyeol later.

Thinking of the devil... The main door made a small beeping sound before he could see the giant entering the room. In large steps he made it straight the bedroom and smiled like the sun when seeing Kyungsoo's current state.

Wordlessly, he leaned in shortly and pecked his forehead with warmth.

Then without worry, he stepped back and began pulling off his tie.

It took Kyungsoo a while to come to terms with just how sexy he looked right now. His hair styled up in a fancy yet casual way, his suit looking as straight as if take right out of a display, made of what looks like an extremely expensive cloth. And beyond the clothes themselves, Chanyeol's wrist watch peeked from the movements and the veins on the back of his hands were really prominent for some reason.

Kyungsoo couldn't take his eyes off of his hot boyfriend even for a second.

There was something almost arousing in the way he focused on taking off his jacket and folding up the sleeves of the white buttoned shirt, and how his hands lowered down to the belt and slid it off from around his hips so smoothly.

He didn't even realize he was staring so thoroughly until Chanyeol finally caught his eyes and raised a brow in wonder.

"What?"

"Nothing. Never saw you look so... Spicy, before."

Kyungsoo replied after spending a few moments thinking of the right word to describe it, and shut the television off quickly just to he could focus the entirity of his attention on his handsome boy.

"Spicy? Wow. You like it?"

The giant was a little surprised, but quickly won over himself with the boost of confidence and posed like a body builder instead. Not that Kyungsoo could really see any of his guns under the shirt, but with the tightness of his brows and the smirk across his lips it looked just as impressive.

So hot in fact that Kyungsoo put his glass aside on the cabinet beside the opened bottle, and rolled over on the bed to lay on his stomach. He heard a little thump in his chest. Chanyeol was hot.

Very much so. He nearly got shy. But it'll be easier to keep the tease going now that he got him fired up with the compliments.

"Yeah I do. Where's your modeling contract and trophy girlfriend?"

He joked with a lazy chuckle and let his head rest down against the pillow, letting his eyes climb up and down all over Chanyeol's perfect build.

"My trophy is right there..."

His boyfriend snickered with amusement before stepping close and leaning down to peck his cheek.

Then it seems that something caught his interest, because instead of pulling back to continue undressing and giving Kyungsoo one hell of a show, he advanced further in and caged Kyungsoo's body with his arms. It was such a warm hug from above the blanket.

Kyungsoo felt Chanyeol's breath against his cheek before the lips met their destination and began nibbling on Kyungsoo's ear.

"Mmmh... You smell so good Kyungsoo. I missed you today."

Chanyeol hummed into his ear and began dropping little kisses all over his neck and jaw. His body still being crushed under Chanyeol's tight wrap around his body from above the blanket. It was so relieving actually, because all the air left his lungs and he was able to inhale air that smelled like Chanyeol's perfume instead.

 

  
He exhaled with ease and turned his eyes sideways in an attempt to see Chanyeol even though the chances of succeeding were low.

"I stayed in today... Went to the spa, took a bath."

Chanyeol buried his face into Kyungsoo's neck and began breathing him in for a while. It's so relaxing. If he thought the spa was a good reason to feel soothed down, he now knows he was a fool.

Because having Chanyeol hold him like this with the precious way he carefully yet tightly keeps them close is way better.

"Oh... I see you've gotten yourself comfortable here. I'm happy."

The giant then raised up from his wrap around Kyungsoo, and lied down beside him on the bed instead. Kyungsoo had to turn his head to the other way on the pillow, and kept peeking at his hot boyfriend.

He just looked so damn good while pouring himself some of the champaigne and sipping on it. Chanyeol looks like he belongs in this lifestyle. Rather than looking like he is rich, Chanyeol himself is the richness. That's how Kyungsoo saw it at least.

After the last sip was swallowed down, Chanyeol looked back into his eyes and they shared a silent gaze for a while, before he smiled and leaned down to kiss Kyungsoo's lips extremely softly. He stroked Kyungsoo's hair and jaw, sliding down to the neck as well, and even lower to his collarbones.

The kiss was stopped by Chanyeol pulling his face back in order to look down at Kyungsoo's collarbones under the blanket in surprise.

"What are you wearing?"

He then pulled the blanket off of Kyungsoo's body and learned the truth.

Kyungsoo was wearing only the robe given by the hotel, and because of all the movement shifts he had done on the bed under the blanket, the bottom seam of it rose up his legs and Kyungsoo could feel the lightly colder air reach the bottom of his ass.

"It was hanging on the bathroom's door."

Chanyeol's eyes ran over his entire body and very obvious blush grew dark on his cheeks and ears from the view of Kyungsoo's unintentionally suggestive display like that.

"You look amazing when you're comfortable."

He said deeply and began sliding his large hand slowly up Kyungsoo's inner thigh, making him shiver lightly with tingles. His hand was warm and soft against his skin and it felt pretty exciting.

For a little while Kyungsoo kept staring at the way Chanyeol's eyes are filling with what looks like hunger. The most reassuring feeling in the world is knowing that he is able to make Chanyeol lose his cool so quickly by revealing some skin. It's such a boost to his confidence to know that he's this attractive.

As a way of praising Chanyeol for his healthy libido, Kyungsoo turned to lie on his side and reached out to him. He tugged to his collar and pulled him in closer for another kiss. As the kiss became stable he let go of the cloth and began unbuttoning Chanyeol's shirt.

When that was done he placed his palms on his boyfriend's chest and began stroking him affectionately. Feeling the muscles tense a little under the tips of his fingers. Especially with his pinky ran over Chanyeol's nipple. Chanyeol let out a warm breath into the kiss as a response, and Kyungsoo knew exactly what all of this will lead to.

He pulled back and regained eye contact with the giant, licking his own wet lips and shifting his position just a little. Just enough so that the robe's cloth will slide down and expose his entire chest and thigh.

"Come get all comfy with me, then."

Kyungsoo suggested with an intentional suggestive undertone this time and pinched Chanyeol's nipple again just to make sure his message came across.

He didn't wait even a second before rolling off the bed and shedding off all of his clothes with urgency. Kyungsoo could see the hard party waiting for him poking up in the air at the moment Chanyeol pulled his underwear down in a rush.

Without wasting time he fell to the bed again and let his hands wander over Kyungsoo's body. Slowly sliding under the robe and stroking his skin as the two of them keep moving closer to each other.

"Whoa... So smooth. Mmmh... Your skin feels amazing."

Chanyeol's leg caged both of Kyungsoo's between them, so did his arms around Kyungsoo's waist, and he pulled them into a warm kiss that tasted like the bitter sweetness of the champaigne.

 

  
The kiss lasted for a while, the two just exchanging flavours and nibbling on each other's lips, until Kyungsoo grabbed onto Chanyeol's hands and lowered them down to grab on his ass. Which paused their kiss in favor of a warm gaze and Chanyeol's held back smile when he undertood exactly what Kyungsoo wanted.

He began rubbing, stroking, massaging the whole area while rubbing his finger against the hole. Quite quickly his finger began sliding without even trying. And his eyes widened a little when he pushed the finger further in without even a hint of resistance from Kyungsoo's insides.

"Holy... Damn Kyungsoo. You're so hot right now."

Kyungsoo's body is so loose and relaxed from the easy and soothing day that he had, so even when the second finger slid into him he didn't show a sign of effort at all. Only continued licking and pecking over Chanyeol's chin and jaw.

Even the third finger came in smoothly and Chanyeol, despite being aware of how easy it was, still made sure to stretch Kyungsoo properly and with all the affection the act deserves.

It didn't take long to stretch him out this time at all, and it felt good. Kyungsoo adores Chanyeol's fingers no matter what they do, and especially today when everything is already so hot and loose they feel extra delicate and loving.

Both unintentionally, but also out of the need to praise Chanyeol for his good work, Kyungsoo hummed soft moans while kissing him all over the face. Actually, it got Kyungsoo pretty much ready for action already. So he started grinding his crotch against Chanyeol's. Rubbing skin to skin until Chanyeol bit down on his own lip and gazed at Kyungsoo with hunger.

"Mmh... Want me to take care of you today?"

"Yes."

Kyungsoo whispered a stretched lazy reply by licking into Chanyeol's lips.

His boyfriend then gently pulled back a little again, letting Kyungsoo's face rest down onto the soft pillows and his entire body turn so that his stomach is lying against the mattress again. Kyungsoo followed the actions with his eyes, and saw how Chanyeol opened the drawers in the cabinet beside the bed.

It was quite adorable to see the surprised excitement on his face when he found the expensive bottle of lube and brought it out into his hands. Kyungsoo already knew it was there from his little exploration of the room during the first day.

"Any protection?"

The giant then turned to look back at him to ask for the consent of proceeding without a condom. Kyungsoo just shook his head into the pillow and cracked a small smile.

"No... Just you."

Like a dog whose ears perked up due to finding something new and interesting with thrill, Chanyeol's entire face lifted up. His eyes sparked a shine and his cheeks and ears picked on yet another shade of pink.

Then he went out of Kyungsoo's sight and placed himself behind him. The blanket was pushed to the side and Kyungsoo felt Chanyeol's knees sliding between his own and very lightly spreading them apart.

He heard the click of the bottle opening, and a short while later, Chanyeol's fingers made their way back into him. This time with the added slippery lube. Kyungsoo exhaled out into the pillow and relaxed down while the fingers inside him kept doing crosses and spreading even further to stretch him one final time.

"Are you okay? Because..."

The giant asked.

"I really... Want to fuck you right now."

Kyungsoo did not expect this ending of the sentence, and his heart jumped from hearing his deep voice say such things above and behind him. He almost felt shy. That was hot. Good thing that the two of them want the same thing.

"Yes... Get in there."

He affirmed quietly. He wasn't worried, not stressed either. His body really does feel so tranquilized, that rather than nervous, he felt excited. Eager.

 

  
At the moment the fingers pulled out of Kyungsoo, he felt Chanyeol's dick slide into him and replace them with ease. His boyfriend's heat is definitely more stuffing than just the long fingers. It's hard and hot and fills him in like a hand would a glove.

He huffed out lightly and even adjusted his own ass a little higher up and spreaded his legs to get more comfortable in the position. All while hearing Chanyeol's long deep exhale of pleasure when diving in and grabbing on his hips, rubbing them gently.

"Gaaah... So smooth. You're really into it today... Beautiful."

The giant said with a lustful tone and positioned them both in perfect alignement before starting to move in and out in a decent speed. There was no friction, no pressure inside, no tensing of any muscles.

It felt so damn good.

Kyungsoo's back arched up with each new depth the thrusts reached inside him, and he moaned out exactly how he felt when the pace started increasing little by little.

"O-Ooh... Good, Chanyeol. This is good..."

He mumbled into the pillow and felt how his body was melting and dripping down on the sheets like liquid from how pleasant this whole thing is and how it affects him.

Except it didn't stop there.

Because Chanyeol then started thrusting with more intensity and at a higher speed. Their skins were clapping with the wetness of the lube, and the noises echoed in the room together with their soft moans and only raised up both of their arousal levels. It felt seriously good. Chanyeol's hands on his hips were the perfect hold to keep his lower body stable.

Kyungsoo's body started heating up, and the eagerness for Chanyeol's dick inside him to continue on grew, so he reached one arm back, and grabbed onto Chanyeol's ass with his hand, pressing on it and pulling his hips closer with every thrust.

"Feels good, mmmmh..."

To top his move, he added this vocal praise for his boyfriend, and immediately knew it was successful. Becasue he could feel Chanyeol's dick harden right away and his entire body nearly bounced with the excitement.

His giant, hot, puppy boyfriend who loves pleasing others and knowing that he does it right. Kyungsoo's heart was beating fast from the amount of affection he felt towards him, and of course from the fact that his lover's dick is thrusting into his ass repeatedly.

Chanyeol leaned down and pressed his body against Kyungsoo's back, pushing him lightly into the mattress with the weight and licking over his neck and ears while breathing warmly. He was devouring Kyungsoo with kisses and bites over the neck and shoulders too.

"Yes... You feel so good for me too, Kyungsoo. So gorgeous... Your beautiful constellation."

His deep voice ran from Kyungsoo's ears straight down to his own dick with arousal and he shuddered with airy moans when Chanyeol's tongue started trailing patterns over the moles spreaded on his neck, ears and upper back. He closed his eyes in order to focus on the sensation alone, and didn't regret it one bit.

Chanyeol's excitement from the situation was apparent as he gripped a little tighter on his hips and started thrusting with more effort and speed. Pushing Kyungsoo's face into the pillows and his body back and forth on the bed.

Getting fucked into the mattress like this by him was just so damn good. Kyungsoo's body was tingling with pleasure and arousal and heat. He couldn't hold back his moans even if he tried. But he certainly doesn't try, because in return for his own noises he's able to hear the way Chanyeol huffs and groans as well.

And if there's anything that can get Kyungsoo's blood pumping, it's those lustful heated deep moans that indicate just how happy Chanyeol is.

 

  
Chanyeol slowed down to a cease and breathed Kyungsoo's scent in for a while, before sitting back up and grabbing Kyungsoo's one thigh. He rasied it up in the air and turned his body sideways on the mattress, along with spreading his legs a little.

While looking down at him in the eyes, he placed Kyungsoo's calf over his shoulder, and sat himself above Kyungsoo's other leg, locking it between his thighs. With his dick still inside, he inhaled some air and leaned forward, causing Kyungsoo's legs to stretch open in this position, and spreading his asscheeks apart.

Kyungsoo was a little confused from the change at first, but at the moment Chanyeol pressed down and pushed his leg towards his body, opening his ass up even more, his eyes widened and he couldn't hold back his voice from the groan that flew through his lips.

"Fuck.... That was so hot.... I love you."

His boyfriend replied to the voice that left his throat.

When he made eye contact with his boyfriend again, he found him blushing deeply all over the cheeks and ears, but his expression was still just as fierce and sincere with focus on his actions. Which means he's saying the truth.

Then his hand grabbed onto Kyungsoo's dick, and after taking a breath, he started drilling into him really hard and fast while jerking his length with intensity Kyungsoo certainly didn't expect and caught him off guard with the loud new moans of surprise.

It was so slippery and wet that when Kyungsoo turned to look down to watch the way Chanyeol's dick slides in and out of his body, he could see tiny drops of lube mixed with precum flung in the air because of the splashes that occur with each heated thrust.

Kyungsoo is fully overwhelmed from all of these sensations hitting him at the same time. From being jerked by Chanyeol's beloved large hand, by being fucked this enthusiastically into the bed, from his own voice going out of control, from Chanyeol's beautiful moans, from the way Chanyeol looks down at him with so much lust and passion.

He felt like he was burning up like a flame from the intensity of it all together.

But then Chanyeol slowed down to a pause again and lowered his face to catch up his breath for a while. The two of them are breathing heavily and fast and hot, faces bright red and bodies pulsing with desire and arousal.

Once he was a little more balanced he removed Kyungsoo's leg from over his shoulder and pushed it aside, while releasing his other locked leg from between his thighs.

With a focused expression and eyes still locked with Kyungsoo, he grabbed on the freshly freed thigh and pulled it upwards in order to push it down against the mattress and cause Kyungsoo's ass to raise up in the air. At moments like this he was glad his body was this flexible.

Except because Chanyeol didn't look at what he's doing, he knocked the champaigne bottle off the cabinet.

Quick instincts saved the situation before it turned into a disaster, because Chanyeol's eyes widened in surprise and his long arm reached out to grab the bottle before it could hit the ground and spill all over the bedroom's carpeted floor.

Kyungsoo was also shocked from the sudden new event, blinking at Chanyeol who sighed with relief while placing the bottle back on the cabinet.

At the moment their eyes met again, Kyungsoo burst into a strong loud fit of laughter. Legs still spread widely, dick still in his ass, it didn't even matter at the moment. Because the situation is just so hilarious and ridiculous that he simply can't help it.

"Hahahaha, oh my god--- Chanyeol--- Hahaha!"

It lasted for a while, he even covered his mouth with his palms to try and stop himself, because Chanyeol's shy flustered expression was just so adorable and amusing. A half cracked smile revealing his dimple was such a pretty sight on his face.

Eventually after a few moments he brought his arms up and reached out to Chanyeol. The other leaned in and allowed Kyungsoo to pull him into a hug, so Kyungsoo pecked his face all over through the chuckles.

 

  
Without a warning, Chanyeol suddenly began thrusting into him again, smirking and satisfied with their new position which was what he had planned for them to be in to begin with. It made Kyungsoo half giggle and half moan into Chanyeol's shoulder. And everything suddenly turned to be super happy and romantic.

The way Chanyeol pampered his neck with kisses and whispered his name with a deep tone was so full of love and hot. Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's body and dug his fingertips into his back tightly while his legs spread wider, giving Chanyeol further access into him.

Which the giant gladly took and turned the atmosphere back into the heated lustful sex it was before the bottle incident.

He got really intense and with the heavy strong and fast thrusts that made Kyungsoo moan helplessly, even the bed itself started shaking and bumping against the wall.

Kyungsoo couldn't really tell for sure, but he thought that from how hard and aroused Chanyeol is today, and from their position, the depth his dick reached inside of his body is even larger than it used to be in the previous times the two of them had sex. There was not even an ounce of pain in the whole ordeal, just the pressing of his insides trying to adjust to the new addition in his body.

What he knew for sure, is that Chanyeol's extremely close to his edge, and so is he.

"Chanyeol--- Chanyeol stay inside...Fill me up."

He mumbled between the huffs and moans and winced while attempting to squeeze on Chanyeol's dick from the inside as he continued hammering into him.

"Are you sure it's o--- Oohhh!!!"

Chanyeol's eyes widened in shock as he gasped roughly and his entire body curled down into Kyungsoo while his hips bucked deeply into him, and just like that, he entered his orgasm and started filling Kyungsoo up with his sperm.

He bucked several times into Kyungsoo's greatest depths while moaning rough and low, and released everything deep into him uncontrollably.

Kyungsoo himself was just as surprised from the sudden reaction to his action. But it was so hot to see the way Chanyeol crumbled down into him this helplessly, the way he got so fiery and intense in his orgasm and pushed so strongly against Kyungsoo's body.

Now he's nearly at his limit as well, seeing Chanyeol like that was the peak of his arousal as well, and with heavy breathes he tried to touch Chanyeol's hand to remind him to jerk him too, but Chanyeol huffed hotly, buried his mouth into Kyungsoo's neck, tightened the grip of his arm around his body, and started humping him extremely hard while almost growling against his skin.

"Come, Kyungsoo--- Come for me---"

Kyungsoo's fingertips dug so deep into Chanyeol's back that even his little nails left marks on his skin from the sudden burst of intense fucking with all of Chanyeol's cum spilling out of him and splurging around because of the strong humps.

He would have moaned loudly from it, but before his moan could end he nearly choked on his gasp and reached his own piece of heavenly orgasm, releasing white strings and bucking into Chanyeol's hand that made sure to squeeze all the juice out.

His ears were blarring with his own heart beating when he came, so he isn't really sure if he made any noise at all, but after the short daze of the orgasm and the relief of it slowly dying down, he found himself still whimpering softly against Chanyeol's shoulder in reaction to the intensity of the fuck.

All of a sudden he felt exremely shy and embarrassed from how hot it was, and from the fact that he can feel the heat of Chanyeol's load bubbling inside of him.

Slowly the giant let him go and laid him gently on the mattress just to look down at him with glistening eyes of fondness and love. Then he carefully pulled out of his body with a wet quenching sound, and Kyungsoo winced when he felt the slimy mixture of liquids inside him dripping out and down on the already soaked sheets.

 

  
They just lied there in front of each other for a while. Kyungsoo's fingers trailing through Chanyeol's hair, and Chanyeol's fingers gently rubbing over the spots that would remain as a reminder of their insane fuck for a few more days on Kyungsoo's neck.

After they've calmed and finished giggling at the champaigned near-accident, Chanyeol carried Kyungsoo up in his arms straight into the shower. And while Kyungsoo took care of cleaning himself up yet again, then of applying the soothing cream over his skin again, Chanyeol called room service and got their bed all cleaned up.

He waited for Kyungsoo out of the bathroom with the robe and tied it around his hips while pressing a kiss on his forehead before entering the bathroom himself.

And when the two of them were done and clean and back in bed, Kyungsoo cuddled against Chanyeol's chest while they both watched TV and sipped on the rest of the champaigne together.

At the evening of the next day they were already in the VIP line to board their flight back home.

 

  
\--

 

  
The summer came a lot faster than Kyungsoo was willing to allow it to.

Generally, he has no problem with some heat. He's not heavy in sweating and although it's bothersome he can still go through it. The humidity is annoying, the subtle consciousness about one's smell and armpits shape is only a tad stressful.

But what Kyungsoo really dislikes, is the summer rain.

When it's cold and raining he can somehow understand it, because it just makes sense. But when it's hot and the rain falls down without a single blow of wind, and everything becomes wet and warm and gross, he can't stand it.

If it was up to him he would rather stay at home all day with the air conditioner and huddle in his beloved blankets in front of the television like a summer vacation.

There's no break for the busy.

He could already tell the day is going to be an odd one when he woke up in the morning and heard the drizzle beating against their bedroom's window. The only thing that could and did brighten up his mood was the fact that his beautiful sleeping boyfriend was lying right beside him in bed.

Looking so peaceful with an arm over Kyungsoo's waist and a knee over Kyungsoo's thighs.

Morning breath sucks, but not kissing such soft lips first thing in the morning sucks even more. So Kyungsoo gave his lover a soft peck before leaving the bed to get ready for his full day and half night shift at the bar.

Once ready and dressed he sat at the side of the bed again and planted a few more kisses over Chanyeol's cheek and jaw while whispering soft 'Love you's in his ear.

The giant is a fairly light sleeper, so he easily regained consciousness from the act and forced one eye half open to look at Kyungsoo above him. His lips curved into an immediate smile as he rolled over towards him and wrapped around his waist from under the blanket with a lazy groan.

"Morning. You've got another hour more... Go back to sleep."

Kyungsoo smiled down at him while ruffling his messy hair softly.

"Mmmh, one more kiss..."

The giant mumbled with his eyes already shut again, and Kyungsoo rolled his own eyes before leaning down and pecking Chanyeol's lips again. Only to be bombered with a bunch of sleepy Chanyeol kisses over his chin in return.

He managed to free himself from the hold around his waist and tucked his boyfriend back in bed before leaving their home and heading to work. The same paths, same streets, same tapping of light rain on top of his umbrella, same heat that is only now starting to hit against his skin.

Upon arrival he changed his outfit to the summer version of the usual waitering clothes. Which includes knee length black jeans and a simple black T-shirt instead of a thick buttoned one.

The day shift passed fairly well, but the half night shift he had to go through was pretty shitty because he had to fill in for Jongin's dancing job again. And now as if the mass of bodies dancing around him wasn't enough, he had to deal with the scent of their possible sweat as well.

Of course the bar had a cooling system, but a body in motion easily beats whatever airconditioner they have installed in the place.

At least it was only half a night shift, so when midnight came around he was more than glad to switch back to his own clothes and leave the bar. Only after greeting Minseok and Sehun a proper goodbye of course.

The problem with filling in for Jongin wasn't the action of doing so, because Kyungsoo has done it enough time in the past to succeed even with his dislike to the part. It was the aftermath of taking care of such a role that took a toll on Kyungsoo. No wonder Jongin's the only one who's able to make it seem so easy.

He's a professional dancer. So using his physical abilities to entertain is literally the core of both of his jobs.

With Jongin's incrdible performance he attended a few weeks ago replaying in his head, Kyungsoo developed yet another layer of admiration towards his friend. Chances are he would have been able to shimmy his way back home after the shift, while Kyungsoo feels like he will fall asleep at the moment he'd hit a horizonatal position. Even if it's after collapsing on the pavement in the middle of the street.

 

  
It really sucks to walk back home while carrying an umbrella yet again. The feeling is always eerie if the temperature is so hot but when one looks at the sky no stars and no moon can be seen because of the clouds crowding the view.

Everything feels twice as dark and scary. Because in the winter there's a lot less motion around the streets and alleys, but now in the summer there are a bunch more shady people leaning against walls or hanging in the darker corners. Kyungsoo knows he'll be able to defend himself if anything happens.

Actually, he is pretty certain nothing will happen to him because most of these people hanging on the streets at night are part of his usual night shift customers or just generally know he works at the club.

So he walked confidently and with hurried steps, wishing to get back home as quickly as possible to wash off this layer of a tiring day off of his body in the shower.

But on his path he passed by the corner of the street where he met Chanyeol for the first time. Just like every other walk back home. But tonight it brings back the memories of pain and joy mixed together. Maybe it's because of the pouring rain drumming against his umbrella just like that one fated night.

With a huff he passed by it, but he heard weird noises coming from that darkened corner.

What a deja vu.

It didn't sound like anybody sobbing though. More like weird taps against the ground and a rustle of movement.

Confused, wary, but not unprepared, he adjusted the glasses on his nose and slowly approached the spot. A figure slowly came into his vision. Someone sitting on the ground and holding an umbrella above their head.

What the hell, the nostalgia is hitting him hard the closer he steps in. But at least whoever it might be has an umbrella, so that's already an upgrade from Chanyeol's old shenanigans.

A few more silent and carefuly steps towards the figure, and he stood right in front of the person with barely any distance between them. It was dark and Kyungsoo was a little surprised from the fact that the person down there hasn't noticed his closeness.

He inhaled some air and leaned down to peek underneath the umbrella's edge only to find that the person sitting there was Chanyeol. Again.

But this time he's sitting and hugging his own knees, half napping with his head resting against them too. A small plastic bag filled with unknown items is located right next to him. The symbol of the seven eleven store from right across the street nearby is printed on the side of the bag. What is going on? Why is he there?

With a heavy sigh of relief and a bit of worry, Kyungsoo stood back up and knocked on the top of Chanyeol's umbrella, watching with amusement how he comically woke up and turned the umbrella away to look up at him in surprise.

A moment later he sprung up to his feet with a toothy grin and stepped closer, shamelessly wrapping his arm around Kyungsoo's waist and grabbing his body to pull him into a needy surprisingly deep kiss that left Kyungsoo a little shy and breathless by its end.

"You're such a loser."

He huffed out with pout and looked from side to side quickly to check if anyone saw them kissing like a corny disgusting couple under the umbrellas in the rain. Luckily, nobody was nearby, so he sighed and turned to face his boyfriend again.

Chanyeol just laughed with satisfaction and raised up the plastic bag with genuine delight.

"Want to eat some noodles with me? I got the good brand this time. Not the bad ramen you brought me."

His voice was filled with joy and a clear intention of teasing Kyungsoo. And he, like a fool fell right into his trap and somehow turned into the exact pouty state he knew Chanyeol would want him to be at.

"You should be thankful I even brought you any ramen at all, you---"

Kyungsoo stopped himself from saying unwanted words, and instead resorting to poking the side of Chanyeol's ribs and making him jump and curl in resentment and laugher.

That's just payback for getting him into the irritated mood he slipped into after such a long tiring shift at work. But deep down Kyungsoo was happy and even touched from the fact that Chanyeol was out there clearly waiting for him to finish.

At least hearing Chanyeol's laughter eased down his annoyance and erased the pout from his lips as he kept walking. Chanyeol quickly caught up to him and paced beside him while sliding an arm around Kyungsoo's lower back anyway and keeping them close.

They walked in silence together for a while, synching their breathing pattern with each other and with the beat of the rain on the plastic above them.

 

  
"I visited Yixing's grave for the first time today."

Chanyeol's words left Kyungsoo in a momentary shock and he accidentally unsynched out of their breathing balance from the surprise.

When he raised his face to look up at his boyfriend's expression, expecting to see sadness and pain, all he saw was a soft smile and emotion filled eyes. So instead of saying anything himself, he waited patiently for Chanyeol to take his breath and continue talking on his own.

"I decided that I want to be happy. For me, for you, for him... For my father too. I'll become better in the future so that Yixing will see it and smile."

This time Chanyeol's words pierced through his heart like a spear, spreading warmth and longing emotions all through his system to the very edges of his fingertips. He looked down at his black shoes tapping through the thin puddles on the street, and wrapped his own arm around Chanyeol's side in order to lean closer to him.

He wondered if it'd be okay to mention how he often finds himself imagining that Yixing is watching over them from above. Especially over Baekhyun. But decided against it. It's better to leave such things the way they are. He knew they both must be thinking that anyway.

Because that's what always happens. Somehow even with their steps creating a messy pattern of noises on the pavement, their hearts and minds are still in harmony.

"Yeah. Let's be happy."

He said instead, sincerely believing in his words and wishing them to be the truth in their future.

Chanyeol then nuzzled his face against Kyungsoo's hair, leaving it messy and out of shape, but fixing it again by packing him with many kisses on the same area, before pausing and sniffing his hair for a few seconds.

"Now I know. I wondered how my shampoo ran out so fast..."

Kyungsoo laughed at the fact he's been caught.

"I'll get you a new one."

"No you won't, I know you."

He could hear the grin in his voice and retaliated by pouting up at him yet again. Damn, he can't avoid falling back into that trap every time.

"Anyway, more importantly, really? Ramen in this heat? What are you playing?"

He accused his boyfriend with a raised eyebrow to enduce his suspicion. Chanyeol shrugged with puckered lips and pulled Kyungsoo's body even tighter and closer against his own.

"Jeez, okay I'll use cold water for yours."

"Eww! You nasty."

The two of them burst out into laughter.

The two of them are alive.

At their dry cool home, seated down comfortably, they began eating their noodles. Kyungsoo took a large yet conserved slurp of noodles into his mouth, and grimaced at the flavor before turning to Chanyeol and swallowing the bite as quickly as he could.

"You... Lied. This is the bad ramen..."

Chanyeol just snickered back at him with a victorious smirk while gathering some noodles onto his own chopsticks carefully.

"For good ol' times."

He pretending to salute his portion up in the air before slurping it into his mouth. Kyungsoo watched how his face went just as sour as Kyungsoo's own, and the two of them laughed yet again.

They'll continue like this as far as life takes them.

There is always tomorrow to look forward to.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story.  
> "Not every day is a happy one, but in every day there are things to become happy from." - Kim Minseok
> 
> Fighting against suicidal thoughts is one of the most difficult things I've ever done, am doing, and will continue doing. But listen, there is always a reason to wake up and stay.  
> I was able to help people push through another day by willingly giving genuine care, attention and sympathy.  
> So stay.  
> Be it because you LOVE that one song so much you just have to listen to it again. Be it because you know you have a little bit of leftover food that you enjoyed eating yesterday. Be it because you've always loved dogs and you really want to get to a place in life where you could have your own.  
> Everything is valid. Everything that holds you here has a meaning. The future is damn terrifying, so instead of looking so far, it's completely fine to stay for the little things that brighten your life daily.
> 
> It's so important for people to have a voice. To share how we feel, accept how others feel, respect these feelings. Allow these words to be released into a safe space where they will be heard and understood.  
> Everyone are trying their best to survive, we are just living creatures with a set timer after all. And at the moment we realize it, every gesture of kindness becomes a whole lot more meaningful.
> 
> I hope all of you will continue to survive, share your emotions and allow others to share theirs with compassion.  
> Please take the best care of yourselves and your loved ones.  
> Come say hello on [Twitter.](https://twitter.com/ksoominie)
> 
> So once again, thank you for reading. I would love to hear your thoughts about the story.
> 
> Thank you for your last gift. Rest in peace, Kim Jonghyun. You've done well.


End file.
